(1788-9.)
THE KING'S ILLNESS.
[Fanny's vivid account of the king's illness, from the autumn of
1788 to the spring of 1789, needs no recommendation to the
reader. It requires only to be supplemented by a very brief
sketch of the consequent proceedings in Parliament, which excited
so much foolish indignation in the royal household, and in Fanny
herself. That she should display more feeling than judgment
under circumstances so affecting, was, perhaps, only to be
expected, but it is none the less evident, from certain passages
in the " Diary, that the tainted Court atmosphere had already
clouded, to some extent, her naturally clear understanding. The
insanity of a sovereign is, to her, a purely private and personal
matter, with respect to which the only business of the public is
to offer up prayers for his majesty's speedy recovery. That
ministers should take steps to provide for the performance of the
royal functions in government, during the period of the king's
incapacity, is an act of effrontery at which she wants words to
express her indignation. Mrs. Schwellenberg, who thought it
treason to say that the King was ever at all indisposed, was
scarcely more unreasonable in this particular than Miss Fanny
Burney, who shuddered, with sentimental horror, at the mention of
a Regency Bill.
About the commencement of November, 1788, there was no longer any
doubt as to the serious nature of the king's malady. At the
meeting of Parliament the prime minister, Mr. Pitt, Moved that a
committee be appointed to examine the physicians attendant upon
his majesty. This motion was agreed to, and on the 10th of
December the report of the committee was laid upon the table of
the House. The physicians agreed that his Majesty was then
totally incapable of attending to public business. They agreed
also in holding Out strong hopes of his ultimate recovery, but
none of them would venture to give any opinion as to the probable
duration of his derangement. Upon this, Mr. Pitt
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moved for a committee to examine and report upon such precedents
as might be found of proceedings in cases of the interruption,
from any cause, of the personal exercise of the royal authority.
The motion was strenuously resisted by the opposition, headed by
Mr. Fox, who argued that whenever the sovereign was incapacitated
from performing the functions of his office, the heir-apparent,
if of full age and capacity, had an inalienable right to act as
his substitute. This doctrine seems certainly inconsistent with
the liberal principles professed by the opposition, but it will
be remembered that at this time the Prince of Wales was
politically in alliance with that party, and that he was on terms
of friendship with Mr. Fox himself. On the other hand, Pitt
protested that in such circumstances the heir-apparent had no
more claim to exercise, as a matter of right, the royal
functions, than any other Subject of the crown ; and that it
belonged only to the two Houses of Parliament to make such
provision for supplying the deficiency in the government as they
should think proper. As to the person of the Regent there was no
dispute ; the question was, simply, whether the Prince of Wales
should assume the Regency in his own right, or by the authority
of Parliament.
Pitt's motion being carried, the committee was accordingly
appointed, and proceeded at once to make their examination and
report. The prime minister then (December 16) moved two
resolutions, declaring, firstly, that the king was incapable of
performing the functions of his office, and, secondly, that it
was the duty of Parliament to provide for the exercise of those
functions. In spite of Fox's opposition both resolutions were
carried, and a third resolution was moved by Pitt, and passed
(December 23), empowering the lord chancellor to affix the great
seal to the intended Regency Bill.
Early in January, 1789, a fresh examination of the physicians Was
voted, but gave no more definite hopes of an early recovery. Pitt
now wrote to the Prince of Wales, informing him of the plan
intended to be pursued : that the prince should be invested with
the authority of Regent, under certain restrictions, regarding
especially the granting of peerages, offices, or pensions ; and
that the care of the king's person and the control of the royal
household should remain with the queen. The prince, in reply,
expressed his readiness to accept the Regency, while protesting
strongly against the proposed limitations of his authority ; and
on the 16th of January, a bill, in which the prime ministers
scheme was embodied, was introduced into the House. The question
was actively debated in both Houses, until, in the latter part of
February, the king's recovery put a stop to further
proceedings.-ED.]
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UNCERTAIN STATE OF THE KING's HEALTH.
Kew, Friday, Oct. 17.-Our return to Windsor is postponed till to-
morrow. The king is not well; he has not been quite well some
time, yet nothing I hope alarming, though there is an uncertainty
as to his complaint not very satisfactory; so precious, too, is
his health.
Oct. 18.-The king was this morning better. My royal mistress
told me Sir George Baker(294) was to settle whether we returned
to Windsor to-day or to-morrow.
Sunday, Oct. 19.-The Windsor journey is again postponed, and the
king is but very indifferent. Heaven preserve him! there is
something unspeakably alarming in his smallest indisposition. I
am very much with the queen, who, I see, is very uneasy, but she
talks not of it.
We are to stay here some time longer, and so unprepared were we
for more than a day or two, that our distresses are prodigious,
even for clothes to wear; and as to books, there are not three
amongst us; and for company only Mr. de Luc and Miss Planta; and
so, in mere desperation for employment, I have just begun a
tragedy.(295) We are now in so spiritless a situation that my
mind would bend to nothing less sad, even in fiction. But I am
very glad something of this kind has occurred to me; it may while
away the tediousness of this unsettled, unoccupied, unpleasant
period.
Oct. 20.-The king was taken very ill in the night, and we have
all been cruelly frightened - but it went off, and, thank heaven!
he is now better.
I had all my morning devoted to receiving inquiring visits. Lady
Effingham, Sir George Howard, Lady Frances Howard, all came from
Stoke to obtain news of the king; his least illness spreads in a
moment. Lady Frances Douglas came also. She is wife of the
Archibald Douglas who caused the famous Hamilton trial in the
House of Peers, for his claim to the Douglas name.(296) She is
fat, and dunch, and heavy, and ugly; otherwise, they say,
agreeable enough.
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Mr. Turbulent has been sent for, and he enlivens the scene
somewhat. He is now all he should be, and so altered ! scarce a
flight left.
Oct. 21.-The good and excellent king is again better, and we
expect to remove to Windsor in a day or two.
Oct. 23.-The king continues to mend, thank God! Saturday we hope
to return to Windsor. Had not this composition fit seized me,
societyless, and bookless, and viewless as I am, I know not how I
could have whiled away my being; but my tragedy goes on, and
fills up all vacancies.
Oct. 25.-Yesterday was so much the same, I have not marked it;
not so to-day. The king was so much better that our Windsor
journey at length took place, with permission of Sir George
Baker, the only physician his majesty will admit. Miss Cambridge
was with me to the last moment.
I have been hanging up a darling remembrance of my revered,
incomparable Mrs. Delany. Her "Sacharissa" is now over my
chimney. I could not at first bear it, but now I look at it, and
call her back to my eye's mind perpetually. This, like the
tragedy I have set about, suits the turn of things in this
habitation.
I had a sort of conference with his Majesty, or rather I was the
object to whom he spoke, with a manner so uncommon, that a high
fever alone could account for it, a rapidity, a hoarseness of
voice, a volubility, an earnestness--a vehemence, rather--it
startled me inexpressibly; yet with a graciousness exceeding even
all I ever met with before--it was almost kindness!
Heaven--Heaven preserve him! The queen grows more
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and more uneasy. She alarms me sometimes for herself, at other
times she has a sedateness that wonders me still more.
Sunday, Oct. 26-The king was prevailed upon not to go to chapel
this morning. I met him in the passage from the queen's room; he
stopped me, and conversed upon his health near half-an-hour,
still with that extreme quickness of Speech and manner that
belongs to fever; and he hardly sleeps, he tells me, one minute
all night; indeed, if he recovers not his rest, a most delirious
fever seems to threaten him. He is all agitation, all emotion,
yet all benevolence and goodness, even to a degree that makes it
touching to hear him speak. He assures everybody of his health;
he seems only fearful to give uneasiness to others, yet certainly
he is better than last night. Nobody speaks of his illness, nor
what they think of it.
Oct. 29.-The dear and good king again gains ground, and the queen
becomes easier.
To-day Miss Planta told me she heard Mr. Fairly was confined at
Sir R- F--'s, and therefore she would now lay any wager he was to
marry Miss F--.(297)
In the evening I inquired what news of him of General Bude: he
told me he was still confined at a friend's house, but avoided
naming where--probably from suggesting that, however little truth
there may yet have been in the report, more may belong to it from
this particular intercourse.
THE KING COMPLAINS OF WANT OF SLEEP.
Nov. 1.-Our king does not advance in amendment; he grows so weak
that he walks like a gouty man, yet has such spirits that he has
talked away his voice, and is so hoarse it is painful to hear
him. The queen is evidently in great uneasiness. God send him
better!
She read to me to-day a lecture of Hunter's. During the reading,
twice, at pathetic passages, my poor queen shed tears. "How
nervous I am?" she cried; "I am quite a fool! Don't you think
so?"
No, ma'am," was all I dared answer.
She revived, however, finished the lecture, and went upstairs and
played upon the Princess Augusta's harpsichord.
The king was hunting. Her anxiety for his return was
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greater than ever. The moment he arrived he sent a page to
desire to have coffee and take his bark in the queen's dressing-
room. She said she would pour it out herself, and sent to
inquire how he drank it.
The king is very sensible of the great change there is in
himself, and of her disturbance at it. It seems, but heaven
avert it! a threat of a total breaking up of the constitution.
This, too, seems his own idea. I was present at his first seeing
Lady Effingham on his return to Windsor this last time. "My dear
Effy," he cried, "you see me, all at once, an old man."
I was so much affected by this exclamation, that I wished to run
out of the room. Yet I could not but recover when Lady
Effingham, in her well-meaning but literal way, composedly
answered, "We must all grow old, sir,- -I am sure I do."
He then produced a walking-stick which he had just ordered. "He
could not," he said, "get on without it; his strength seemed
diminishing hourly."
He took the bark, he said But the queen," he cried, "is my
physician, and no man need have a better; she is my friend, and
no Man can have a better."
How the queen commanded herself I cannot conceive; but there was
something so touching in this speech, from his hoarse voice and
altered countenance, that it overset me very much.
Nor can I ever forget him in what passed this night. When I came
to the queen's dressing-room he was still with her. He
constantly conducts her to it before he retires to his own. He
was begging her not to speak to him when he got to his room, that
he might fall asleep, as he felt great want of that refreshment.
He repeated this desire, I believe, at least a hundred times,
though, far enough from need Ing it, the poor queen never uttered
one syllable! He then applied to me, saying he was really very
well, except in that one particular, that he could not sleep.
The kindness and benevolence of his manner all this time was most
penetrating: he seemed to have no anxiety but to set the queen at
rest, and no wish but to quiet and give pleasure to all around
him, To me, he never yet spoke with such excess of benignity: he
appeared even solicitous to satisfy me that he should do well,
and to spare all alarm; but there was a hurry in his manner and
voice that indicated sleep to be
page 226
indeed wanted. Nor could I, all night, forbear foreseeing "He
sleeps now, or to-morrow he will be surely delirious!"
Sunday, Nov. 2.-The king was better, and prevailed upon to give
up going to the early prayers. The queen and princesses went.
After they were gone, and I was following towards my room, the
king called after me, and he kept me in discourse a full half
hour nearly all the time they were away.
It was all to the same purport; that he was well, but wanted more
rest ; yet he said he had slept the last night like a child. But
his manner, still, was so touchingly kind, so softly
gracious, that it doubled my concern to see him so far from well.
DISTRESS OF THE QUEEN.
Nov. 3.--We are all here in a most uneasy state. The king is
better and worse so frequently, and changes so, daily, backwards
and forwards, that everything is to be apprehended, if his nerves
are not some way quieted. I dreadfully fear he is on the eve of
some severe fever. The queen is almost overpowered with some
secret terror. I am affected beyond all expression in her
presence, to see what struggles she makes to support serenity.
To-day she gave up the conflict when I was alone with her, and
burst into a violent fit of tears. It was very, very terrible to
see! How did I wish her a Susan or a Fredy! To unburthen her
loaded mind would be to relieve it from all but inevitable
affliction. O, may heaven in its mercy never, never drive me to
that solitary anguish more!- I have tried what it would do; I
speak from bitter recollection of past melancholy experience.
Sometimes she walks up and down the room without uttering a word,
but shaking her head frequently, and in evident distress and
irresolution. She is often closeted with Miss Goldsworthy, of
whom, I believe, she makes inquiry how her brother has found the
king, from time to time.
The princes both came to Kew, in several visits to the king. The
Duke of York has also been here, and his fond father could hardly
bear the pleasure of thinking him anxious for his health. "So
good," he says "is Frederick!"
To-night, indeed, at tea-time, I felt a great shock, in hearing,
from General Budé, that Dr, Heberden had been called in. It is
true more assistance seemed much wanting, yet the king's rooted
aversion to physicians makes any new-comer tremen-
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dous. They said, too, it was merely for counsel, not that his
majesty was worse.
Nov. 4.-Passed much the same as the days preceding it, the queen
in deep distress, the king in a state almost incomprehensible,
and all the house uneasy and alarmed. The Drawing-room was again
put off, and a steady residence seemed fixed at Windsor.
Nov. 5.-I found my poor royal mistress, in the morning, sad and
sadder still; something horrible seemed impending, and I saw her
whole resource was in religion. We had talked lately much upon
solemn Subjects, and she appeared already preparing herself to be
resigned for whatever might happen.
I was still wholly unsuspicious of the greatness of the cause she
had for dread. Illness, a breaking up of the constitution, the
payment of sudden infirmity and premature old age for the waste
of unguarded health and strength,--these seemed to me the threats
awaiting her; and great and grievous enough, yet how short of the
fact!
I had given up my walks some days; I was too uneasy to quit the
house while the queen remained at home, and she now never left
it. Even Lady Effingham, the last two days, could not obtain
admission; She Could only hear from a page how the royal family
went on.
At noon the king went out in his chaise, with the princess royal,
for an airing. I looked from my window to see him; he was all
smiling benignity, but gave so many orders to the postilions, and
got in and out of the carriage twice, with such agitation, that
again my fear of a great fever hanging over him grew more and
more powerful. Alas! how little did I imagine I should see him
no more for so long--so black a period!
When I went to my poor queen, still worse and worse I found her
spirits. She had been greatly offended by some anecdote in a
newspaper--the "Morning Herald"--relative to the king's
indisposition. She declared the printer should be called to
account. She bid me burn the paper, and ruminated upon who could
be employed to represent to the editor that he must answer at his
peril any further such treasonable paragraphs. I named to her
Mr. Fairly, her own servant, and one so peculiarly fitted for any
office requiring honour and discretion. "Is he here, then?" she
cried. "No," I answered, but he was expected in a few days.
I saw her concurrence with this proposal. The princess royal
soon returned. She came in cheerfully, and gave, in
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German, a history of the airing, and one that seemed Comforting.
Soon after, suddenly arrived the Prince of Wales. He came into
the room.- He had just quitted Brighthelmstone. Something
passing within seemed to render this meeting awfully distant on
both sides. She asked if he should not return to
Brighthelmstone? He answered yes, the next day, He
desired to speak with her they retired together.
FIRST OUTBURST OF THE KING's DELIRIUM.
I had but just reached my own room, deeply musing on the state
of' things, when a chaise stopped at the rails; and I saw Mr.
Fairly and his son Charles alight, and enter the house. He
walked lamely, and seemed not yet recovered from his late attack.
Though most happy to see him at this alarming time, when I
knew he could be most useful, as there is no one to whom the
queen opens so confidentially upon her affairs, I had yet a fresh
stair to see, by his anticipated arrival, though still lame, that
he must have been sent for, and hurried hither.
Only Miss Planta dined with me. We were both nearly silent: I
was shocked at I scarcely knew what, and she seemed to know too
much for speech. She stayed with me till six o'clock, but
nothing passed, beyond general solicitude that the king might get
better.
Meanwhile, a stillness the most uncommon reigned over the whole
house. Nobody stirred ; not a voice was heard - not a step, not
a motion. I could do nothing but watch, without knowing for what
: there seemed a strangeness in the house most extraordinary.
At seven o'clock Columb came to tell me that the music was
all forbid, and the musicians ordered away ! This
was the last step to be expected, so fond as his majesty is -of
his concert, and I thought it might have rather soothed him: I
could not understand the prohibition; all seemed stranger and
stranger.
Very late came General Budé. He looked extremely uncomfortable.
Later still came Colonel Goldsworthy: his countenance all gloom,
and his voice scarce articulating no or yes. General Grenville
was gone to town. General Bud asked me if I had seen Mr.
Fairly; and last Of all, at length, he also entered. How grave
he looked, how shut up in himself! A silent bow was his only
salutation
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how changed I thought it,--and how fearful a meeting, SO long
expected as a solace!
Colonel Goldsworthy was called away: I heard his voice whispering
some time in the passage, but he did not return. Various small
speeches now dropped, by which I found the house was all in
disturbance, and the king in some strange way worse, and the
queen taken ill!
At length, General Budé said he would go and see if any one was
in the music-room. Mr. Fairly said he thought he had better not
accompany him, for as he had not yet been seen, his appearance
might excite fresh emotion. The general agreed, and went.
We were now alone. But I could not speak: neither did Mr.
Fairly. I worked---I had begun a hassock for my Fredy. A long
and serious pause made me almost turn sick with anxious wonder
and fear, and an inward trembling totally disabled me from asking
the actual situation of things; if I had not had my work, to
employ my eyes and hands, I must have left the room to quiet
myself.
I fancy he penetrated into all this, though, at first, he had
concluded me informed of everything; but he now, finding me
silent, began an inquiry whether I was yet acquainted how bad
all was become, and how ill the king? I really had no utterance
for very alarm, but my look was probably sufficient; he kindly
saved me any questions, and related to me the whole of the
mysterious horror!
O my dear friends, what a history! The king, at dinner, had
broken forth into positive delirium, which long had been menacing
all who saw him most closely; and the queen was so overpowered as
to fall into violent hysterics. All the princesses were in
misery, and the Prince of Wales had burst into tears. No one
knew what was to follow-- no one could conjecture the event.
He spoke of the poor queen, in terms of the most tender
compassion; he pitied her, he said, from the bottom of his soul;
and all her sweet daughters, the lovely princesses--there was no
knowing to what we might look forward for them all!
I was an almost silent listener ; but, having expressed himself
very warmly for all the principal sufferers, he kindly, and with
interest, examined me. "How," he cried, "are You? Are you
strong? are you stout? can you go through such scenes as these?
you do not look much fitted for them."
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"I shall do very well," I cried, "for, at a time such as this, I
shall surely forget myself utterly. The queen will be all to me.
I shall hardly, I think, feel myself at liberty to be unhappy!"
. . .
AN ANXIOUS NIGHT.
Mr. Fairly stayed with me all the evening, during which we heard
no voice, no sound! all was deadly still!
At ten o'clock I said, " I must go to my own room, to be in
waiting." He determined upon remaining downstairs, in the
equerries' apartment, there to wait some intelligence. We parted
in mutual expectation of dreadful tidings. In separating, he
took my hand, and earnestly recommended me to keep myself stout
and firm.
If this beginning of the night was affecting, what did it not
grow afterwards Two long hours I waited-alone, in silence, in
ignorance, in dread! I thought they would never be over; at
twelve o'clock I seemed to have spent two whole days in waiting.
I then opened my door, to listen, in the passage, if anything
seemed stirring.
Not a sound could I hear. My apartment seemed wholly separated
from life and motion. Whoever was in the house kept at the other
end, and not even a servant crossed the stairs or passage by my
rooms.
I would fain have crept on myself, anywhere in the world, for
some inquiry, or to see but a face, and hear a voice, but I did
not dare risk losing a sudden summons. I re-entered my room and
there passed another endless hour, in conjectures too horrible to
relate.
A little after one, I heard a step--my door opened--and a page
said I must come to the queen. I could hardly get along--hardly
force myself into the room. dizzy I felt, almost to falling.
But, the first shock passed, I became more collected. Useful,
indeed, proved the previous lesson of the evening : it had
stilled, If not fortified my mind, which had else, in a scene
Such is this, been all tumult and emotion.
My poor royal mistress! never can I forget her countenance--pale,
ghastly pale she looked; she was seated to be undressed, and
attended by Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave and Miss Goldsworthy ; her
whole frame was disordered, yet she was still and quiet. These
two ladies assisted me to undress her, or rather I assisted them,
for they were firmer, from being
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longer present; my shaking hands and blinded eyes could scarce be
of any use. I gave her some camphor julep, which had been
ordered her by Sir George Baker. "How cold I am!" she cried, and
put her hand on mine; marble it felt! and went to my heart's
core!
The king, at the instance of Sir George Baker, had consented to
sleep in the next apartment, as the queen was ill. For himself,
he would listen to nothing. Accordingly, a bed was put up for
him, by his own order, in the queen's second dressing-room,
immediately adjoining to the bed-room. He would not be further
removed. Miss Goldsworthy was to sit up with her, by the king's
direction.
I would fain have remained in the little dressing-room, on the
other side the bed-room, but she would not permit it. She
ordered Sandys, her wardrobe-woman, in the place of Mrs.
Thielky, to sit up there. Lady Elizabeth also pressed to stay;
but we were desired to go to our own rooms.
How reluctantly did I come away ! how hardly to myself leave her!
Yet I went to bed, determined to preserve my strength to the
utmost of my ability, for the service of my unhappy mistress. I
could not, however, sleep. I do not suppose an eye was closed in
the house all night.
Nov. 6.-I rose at six, dressed in haste by candle-light, and
unable to wait for my summons in a suspense so awful, I stole
along the passage in the dark, a thick fog intercepting all faint
light, to see if I could meet with Sandys, or any one, to tell me
how the night had passed.
When I came to the little dressing-room, I stopped, irresolute
what to do. I heard men's voices; I was seized with the most
cruel alarm at such a sound in her majesty's dressing-room. I
waited some time, and then the door opened, and I saw Colonel
Goldsworthy and Mr. Batterscomb.(298) I was relieved from my
first apprehension, yet shocked enough to see them there at this
early hour. They had both sat up there all night, as well as
Sandys. Every page, both of the king and queen, had also sat up,
dispersed in the passages and ante-rooms! and O what horror in
every face I met! I waited here, amongst them, till Sandys was
ordered by the queen to carry her a pair of gloves. I could not
resist
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the opportunity to venture myself before her. I glided into the
room, but stopped at the door: she was in bed, sitting up; Miss
Goldsworthy was on a stool by her side! I feared approaching
without permission, yet could not prevail with myself to retreat.
She was looking down, and did not see me. Miss Goldsworthy,
turning round, said, "'Tis Miss Burney, ma'am."
She leaned her head forward, and in a most soft manner, said,
"Miss Burney, how are you?"
Deeply affected, I hastened up to her, but, in trying to speak,
burst into an irresistible torrent of tears.
My dearest friends, I do it at this moment again, and can hardly
write for them; yet I wish you to know all this piercing history
right.
She looked like death--colourless and wan; but nature is
infectious; the tears gushed from her own eyes, and a perfect
agony of weeping ensued, which, once begun, she could not stop;
she did not, indeed, try; for when it subsided, and she wiped her
eyes, she said, "I thank you, Miss Burney--you have made me cry--
it is a great relief to me--I had not been able to cry before,
all this night long." O, what a scene followed! what a scene was
related! The king, in the middle of the night, had insisted upon
seeing if his queen was not removed from the house and he had
come into her room, with a candle in his hand, opened the bed-
curtains, and satisfied himself she was there, and Miss
Goldsworthy by her side. This observance of his directions had
much soothed him; but he stayed a full half hour, and the depth
of terror during that time no words can paint. The fear of such
another entrance was now so strongly upon the nerves of the poor
queen, that she could hardly support herself.
THE KING'S DELIRIOUS CONDITION.
The king-the royal sufferer-was still in the next room, attended
by Sir George Baker and Dr. Heberden, and his pages, with Colonel
Goldsworthy occasionally, and as he called for him. He kept
talking unceasingly; his voice was so lost in hoarseness and
weakness, it was rendered almost inarticulate; but its tone was
still all benevolence--all kindness--all touching graciousness.
It was thought advisable the queen should not rise, lest the king
should be offended that she did not go to him; at present
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he was content, because he conceived her to be nursing for her
illness.
But what a situation for her! She would not let me leave her
now; she made me remain In the room, and ordered me to sit down.
I was too trembling to refuse. Lady Elizabeth soon joined us.
We all three stayed with her; she frequently bid me listen, to
hear what the king was saying or doing. I did, and carried the
best accounts I could manage, without deviating from truth,
except by some omissions. Nothing could be so afflicting as this
task; even now, it brings fresh to my ear his poor exhausted
voice. "I am nervous," he cried; "I am not ill, but I am
nervous: if you would know what is the matter with me, I am
nervous. But I love you both very well; if you would tell me
truth: I love Dr. Heberden best, for he has not told me a lie:
Sir George has told me a lie--a white lie, he says, but I hate a
white lie. If you will tell me a lie, let it be a black lie!"
This was what he kept saying almost constantly, mixed in with
other matter, but always returning, and in a voice that truly
will never cease vibrating in my recollection.
The queen permitted me to make her breakfast and attend her, and
was so affectingly kind and gentle in her distress, that I felt a
tenderness of sorrow for her that almost devoted my whole mind to
her alone! Miss Goldsworthy was a fixture at her side; I,
therefore, provided her breakfast also.
Lady Elizabeth was sent out on inquiries of Colonel Goldsworthy,
and Mr. Batterscomb, and the pages, every ten minutes; while I,
at the same intervals, was ordered to listen to what passed in
the room, and give warning if anything seemed to threaten another
entrance. . . .
The queen bid me bring the prayer book and read the morning
service to her. I could hardly do it, the poor voice from the
next room was so perpetually in my ears.
When I came to my room, about twelve o'clock, for some breakfast,
I found a letter from Lady Carmarthen. It was an answer to my
congratulation upon her marriage, and written with honest
happiness and delight. She frankly calls herself the luckiest of
all God's creatures ; and this, if not elegant, is sincere, and I
hope will be permanently her opinion.
While swallowing my breakfast, standing and in haste, and the
door ajar, I heard Mr. Fairly's voice, saying, "Is Miss Burney
there? is she alone?" and then he sent in Columb, to inquire if
he might come and ask me how I did.
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I received him with as much gladness as I could then feel, but it
was a melancholy reception. I consulted with him upon many
points in which I wanted counsel : he is quick and deep at once
in expedients where anything, is to be done, and simple and clear
in explaining himself where he thinks it is best to do nothing.
Miss Goldsworthy herself had once stolen out to Consult with him.
He became, indeed, for all who belonged to the queen, from this
moment the oracle.
THE KING REFUSES TO SEE DR. WARREN.
Dr. Warren(299) had been sent for express, in the middle of the
night, at the desire of Sir George Baker, because he had been
taken ill himself, and felt unequal to the whole toll.
I returned speedily to the room of woe. The arrival of the
physicians was there grievously awaited, for Dr. Heberden and
Sir George would now decide upon nothing till Dr. Warren came.
The poor queen wanted something very positive to pass, relative
to her keeping away, which seemed thought essential at this time,
though the courage to assert it was wanting In everybody.
The princesses sent to ask leave to come to their mother. She
burst into tears, and declared she could neither see them, nor
pray, while in this dreadful situation, expecting every moment to
be broken in upon, and quite uncertain in what manner, yet
determined not to desert her apartment, except by express
direction from the physicians. Who could tell to what height the
delirium might rise? There was no constraint, no power: all
feared the worst, yet none dared take any measures for security.
The princes also sent word they were at her majesty's command,
but she shrunk still more from this Interview: it filled her with
a thousand dreadful sensations, too obvious to be wholly hid.
At length news was brought that Dr. Warren was arrived. I never
felt so rejoiced: I could have run out to welcome him with
rapture. With what cruel impatience did we then wait to hear his
sentence! An impatience how fruitless! It ended in information
that he had not seen the king, who refused him admittance.
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This was terrible. But the king was never so despotic; no one
dared oppose him. He would not listen to a word, though, when
unopposed, he was still all gentleness and benignity to every one
around him. Dr. Warren was then planted where he could hear his
voice, and all that passed, and receive Intelligence concerning
his pulse, etc., from Sir George Baker.
THE QUEEN'S ANXIETY TO HEAR DR. WARREN'S OPINION.
We now expected every moment Dr. Warren would bring her majesty
his opinion ; but he neither came nor sent. She waited in dread
incessant. She sent for Sir George--he would not speak alone:
she sent for Mr. Hawkins, the household surgeon; but all referred
to Dr. Warren.
Lady Elizabeth and Miss Goldsworthy earnestly pressed her to
remove to a more distant apartment, where he might not hear the
unceasing voice of the unhappy king ; but she would only rise and
go to the 'little dressing-room, there to wait in her
night-clothes Dr. Warren's determination what step she should
take.
At length Lady Elizabeth learnt among the pages that Dr. Warren
had quitted his post of watching. The poor queen now, in a
torrent of tears, prepared herself for seeing him.
He came not.
All astonished and impatient, Lady Elizabeth was sent out on
inquiries. She returned, and said Dr. Warren was gone.
"Run! stop him!" was the queen's next order. "Let him but let me
know what I am to do."
Poor, poor queen! how I wept to hear those words!
Abashed and distressed, poor Lady Elizabeth returned. She had
seen Colonel Goldsworthy, and heard Dr. Warren, -with the other
two physicians, had left the house too far to be recalled they
were gone over to the Castle, to the Prince of Wales.
I think a deeper blow I have never witnessed. Already to become
but second, even for the king! The tears were now wiped;
indignation arose, with pain, the severest pain, of every
species.
THE QUEEN REMOVES TO MORE DISTANT APARTMENTS.
In about a quarter of an hour Colonel Goldsworthy sent in to beg
an audience. It was granted, a long cloak only being thrown over
the queen. He now brought the opinion of all the physicians in
consultation, " That her majesty would re-
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move to a more distant apartment, since the king would
undoubtedly be worse from the agitation of seeing her, and there
Could be no possibility to prevent it while she remained so
near."
She instantly agreed, but with what bitter anguish! Lady
Elizabeth, Miss Goldsworthy, and myself attended her; she went to
an apartment in the same row, but to which there Was no entrance
except by its own door. It consisted of only two rooms, a
bed-chamber and a dressing-room. They are appropriated to the
lady-in-waiting, when she is here.
At the entrance into this new habitation the poor wretched queen
once more gave way to a perfect agony of grief and affliction;
while the words "What will become of me! What will become of me
! " uttered with the most piercing lamentation, struck deep and
hard into all our hearts. Never can I forget their desponding
sound ; they implied such complicated apprehensions.
Instantly now the princesses were sent for. The three elder
hastened down. O, what a meeting! They all, from a habit that
has become a second nature, struggling to repress all outward
grief, though the queen herself, wholly overcome, wept even
aloud. They all went into the bedroom, and the queen made a
slight dressing, but only wore a close gauze cap, and her long
dressing gown, which is a dimity chemise.
I was then sent back to the little dressing-room, for something
that was left; as I opened the door, I almost ran against a
gentleman close to it in the passage.
"Is the queen here?" he cried, and I then saw the Prince of
Wales.
"Yes," I answered, shuddering at this new scene for her "should I
tell her majesty your royal highness is here?"
This I said lest he should surprise her. But he did not intend
that: he was profoundly respectful, and consented to wait at the
door while I went in, but called me back, as I turned away, to
add, "You will be so good to say I am come by her orders."
She wept a deluge of tears when I delivered my commission, but
instantly admitted him. I then retreated. The other two ladies
went to Lady Elizabeth's room, which is next the queen's new
apartments.
In the passage I was again stopped; it was by Mr. Fairly. I
would have hurried on, scarce able to speak, but he desired to
know how the queen did. "Very bad," was all I could say,
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and on I hastened to my own room, which, the next minute, I would
as eagerly have hastened to quit, from its distance from all that
was going forward ; but now once the prince had entered the
queen's rooms, I could go thither no more unsummoned.
Miserable, lonely, and filled with dreadful conjectures, I
remained here till a very late dinner brought Miss Planta to the
dining-parlour, where I joined her. After a short and dismal
meal we immediately parted : she to wait in the apartments of the
princesses above-stairs, in case of being wanted; I to my own
solitary parlour.
The Prince of Wales and Duke of York stayed here all the day, and
were so often in and out of the queen's rooms that no one could
enter them but by order. The same etiquette is observed when the
princes are with the queen as when the king is there-no
interruption whatever is made. I now, therefore, lost my only
consolation at this calamitous time, that of attending my poor
royal mistress.
A VISIT FROM MR. FAIRLY.
Alone wholly, without seeing a human being, or gathering any, the
smallest intelligence of what was going forwards, I remained till
tea-time. Impatient then for information, I planted myself in
the eating-parlour; but no one came. Every minute seemed an
hour. I grew as anxious for the tea society as heretofore I had
been anxious to escape it; but so late it grew, and so hopeless,
that Columb came to propose bringing in the water.
No; for I could swallow nothing voluntarily.
In a few minutes he came again, and with the compliments of Mr.
Fairly, who desired him to tell me he would wait Upon me to tea
whenever I pleased.
A little surprised at this single message, but most truly
rejoiced, I returned my compliments, with an assurance that all
time was the same to me. He came directly, and indeed his very
sight, at this season of still horror and silent suspense, was a
repose to my poor aching eyes.
"You will see," he said, "nobody else. The physicians being now
here, Colonel Goldsworthy thought it right to order tea for the
whole party in the music-room, which we have now agreed to make
the general waiting-room for us all. It is near the king, and we
ought always to be at hand."
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Our tea was very sad. He gave me no hope Of a short seizure ; he
saw it, in perspective, as long as it was dreadful : perhaps even
worse than long, he thought it--but that he said not. He related
to me the whole of the day's transactions, but my most dear and
most honourable friends will be the first to forgive me when I
promise that I shall commit nothing to paper on this terrible
event that is told me in confidence.
He did not stay long--he did not think it right to leave his
waiting friends for any time, nor could I wish it, valued as I
know he is by them all, and much as they need his able counsel.
He left me plunged in a deep gloom, yet he was not gloomy
himself; he sees evils as things of course, and bears them,
therefore, as things expected. But he was tenderly touched for
the poor queen and the princesses.
THE KING'S NIGHT WATCHERS.
Not till one in the morning did I see another face, and then I
attended my poor unhappy queen. She was now fixed in her new
apartments, bed-room and dressing-room, and stirred not a step
but from one to the other. Fortunately all are upon the
ground-floor, both for king and queen; so are the two Lady
Waldegraves' and mine; the princesses and Miss Planta, as usual,
are upstairs, and the gentlemen lodge above them.
Miss Goldsworthy had now a bed put up in the queen's new
bed-room. She had by no means health to go on sitting up, and it
had been the poor king's own direction that she should remain
with the queen. It was settled that Mrs. Sandys and Mrs.
Macenton should alternately sit up in the dressing-room.
The queen would not permit me to take that office, though most
gladly I would have taken any that would have kept me about her.
But she does; not think my strength sufficient. She allowed me
however to stay with her till she was in bed, which I had never
done till now; I never, indeed, had even seen her in her bed-room
till the day before. She has always had the kindness and
delicacy, to dismiss me from her dressing-room as soon as I have
assisted her with her night-clothes; the wardrobe-woman then was
summoned, and I regularly
made my courtesy. it was a satisfaction to me, however, now to
leave her the last, and to come to her the first.
Her present dressing-room is also her dining-room, her
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drawing-room, her sitting-room; she has nothing else but her
bed-room!
I left her with my fervent prayers for better times, and saw her
nearer to composure than I had believed possible in such a
calamity. She called to her aid her religion, and without it
what, indeed, must have become of her? It was near two in the
morning when I quitted her.
In passing through the dressing-room to come away, I found Miss
Goldsworthy in some distress how to execute a commission of the
queen's: it was to her brother, who was to sit up in a room
adjoining to the king's ; and she was undressed, and knew not how
to go to him, as the princes were to and fro everywhere. I
offered to call him to her she thankfully accepted the proposal.
I cared not, just then, whom I encountered, so I could make
myself of any use.
When I gently opened the door of the apartment to which I was
directed, I found it was quite filled with gentlemen and
attendants, arranged round it on chairs and sofas in dead
silence. It was a dreadful start, with which I retreated; for
anything more alarming and shocking could not be conceived! the
poor king within another door, unconscious any one was near him,
and thus watched, by dread necessity, at such an hour of the
night! I pronounced the words "Colonel Goldsworthy," however,
before I drew back, though I could not distinguish one gentleman
from another, except the two princes, by their stars.
I waited in the next room; but instead of Colonel Goldsworthy, my
call was answered by Mr. Fairly. I acquainted him with my
errand. He told me he had himself insisted that Colonel
Goldsworthy should go to bed, as he had sat up all the preceding
night and he had undertaken to supply his place.
I went back to Miss Goldsworthy with this account. She begged me
to entreat Mr. Fairly would come to her, as she must now make the
commission devolve on him, and could less than ever appear,
herself, as they were all assembled in such a party.
Mr. Fairly, most considerately, had remained in this quiet room
to see if anything more might be wanted, which spared me the
distress of again intruding into the public room. I begged him
to follow, and we were proceeding to the dressing-room, when I
was stopped by a gentleman, who said, "Does the queen want
anybody?"
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It was the Prince of Wales. "Not the queen, sir," I answered, "
but Miss Goldsworthy, has desired to see Mr. Fairly."
He let me pass, but stopped Mr. Fairly; and, as he seemed
inclined to detain him some time, I only told Miss Goldsworthy
what had retarded him, and made off to my own room, and soon
after two o'clock, I believe, I was in bed.
A CHANGE IN MISS BURNEYs DUTIES.
Friday, Nov. 7.-I was now arrived at a sort of settled regularity
of life more melancholy than can possibly be described. I rose
at six, dressed, and hastened to the queen's apartments,
uncalled, and there waited in silence and in the dark till I
heard her move or speak with Miss Goldsworthy, and then presented
myself to the sad bedside of the unhappy queen. She sent Miss
Goldsworthy early every morning, to make inquiry what sort of
night his majesty had passed; and in the middle of the night she
commonly Also sent for news by the wardrobe-woman, or Miss
Macenton, whichever sat up.
She dismissed Miss Goldsworthy, on my arrival, to dress herself.
Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave accommodated her with her own room for
that purpose. I had then a long conference with this most
patient sufferer - and equal forbearance and quietness during a
period of suspensive unhappiness never have I seen, never could I
have imagined.
At noon now I never saw her, which I greatly regretted but she
kept on her dressing-gown all day, and the princes were
continually about the passages, so that no one unsummoned dared
approach the queen's apartments. It was only therefore at night
and morning I could see her - but my heart was with her the
livelong day. And how long, good heaven! how long that day
became! Endless I used to think it, for
nothing could I do--to wait and to watch--starting at every
sound, yet revived by every noise.
MR. FAIRLY SUCCEEDS IN SOOTHING THE KING.
While I was yet with my poor royal sufferer this morning the
Prince of Wales came hastily into the room. He apologized for
his intrusion, and then gave a very energetic history of the
preceding night. It had been indeed most affectingly dreadful !
The king had risen in the middle of the night, and
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would take no denial to walking into the next room. There he saw
the large congress I have mentioned : amazed and in
consternation, he demanded what they did there--Much followed
that I have heard since, particularly the warmest éloge on his
dear son Frederick--his favourite, his friend. "Yes," he cried,
"Frederick is my friend!" and this son was then present amongst
the rest, but not seen!
Sir George Baker was there, and was privately exhorted by the
gentlemen
to lead the king back to his room; but he had not courage:
he attempted only to speak, and the king penned him in a corner,
told him he was a mere old woman--that he wondered he had ever
followed his advice, for he knew nothing of his complaint, which
was only nervous!
The Prince of Wales, by signs and whispers, would have urged
others to have drawn him away, but no one dared approach him, and
he remained there a considerable time. "Nor do I know when he
would have been got back," continued the prince, "if at last Mr.
Fairly had not undertaken him. I am extremely obliged to Mr.
Fairly indeed. He came boldly up to him, and took him by the arm,
and begged him to go to bed, and then drew him along, and
said he must go. Then he said he would not, and cried 'Who are
you?' 'I am Mr. Fairly, sir,' he answered, 'and your majesty has
been very good to me often, and now I am going to be very good to
you, for you must come to bed, sir: it is necessary to your
life.' And then he was so surprised, that he let himself be
drawn along just like a child; and so they got him to bed. I
believe else he would have stayed all night.
Mr. Fairly has had some melancholy experience in a case of this
sort, with a very near connexion of his own. How fortunate
he was present!
NEW ARRANGEMENTS.
At noon I had the most sad pleasure of receiving Mr. and Mrs.
Smelt. They had heard in York of the illness of the king, and had
travelled -post to Windsor. Poor worthy, excellent couple!--Ill
and infirm, what did they not suffer from an attack like this--so
wonderfully unexpected upon a patron so adored!
They wished the queen to be acquainted with their arrival, yet
would not let me risk meeting the princes in carrying the news.
Mr. Smelt I saw languished to see his king: he was
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persuaded he might now repay a part of former benefits, and he
wished to be made his page during his illness, that he might
watch and attend him hourly.
I had had a message in the morning by Mr. Gorton, the clerk of
the kitchen, to tell me the Prince of Wales wished our
dining-parlour to be appropriated to the physicians, both for
their dinner and their consultations. I was therefore obliged to
order dinner for Miss Planta, and myself in my own
Sitting-parlour, which was now unmaterial, as the equerries did
not come to tea, but continued +altogether in the music-room.
In the evening, of course, came Mr. Fairly, but then it was only
to let me know it would be of course no longer. He then rang the
bell for my tea-urn, finding I had waited, though he 0 declined
drinking tea with me; but he sat down, and staved half an hour,
telling me the long story he had promised which Was a full detail
of the terrible preceding night. The transactions of the day
also he related to me, and the designs for the future. How
alarming were they all! yet many particulars, he said, he
omitted, merely because they were yet more affecting, and could
be dwelt upon to no purpose.
THE PRINCESS AUGUSTA'S BIRTHDAY.
Saturday, Nov. 8-This was, if possible, the saddest day yet
passed: it was the birthday of Princess Augusta, and Mrs. Siddons
had been invited to read a play, and a large party of company to
form the audience. What a contrast from such an intention was
the event!
When I went, before seven o'clock in the morning, to my most
unhappy royal mistress, the princes were both in the room. I
retreated to the next apartment till they had finished their
conference. The Prince of Wales upon these occasions has always
been extremely well-bred and condescending in his manner, which,
in a situation such as mine, is no immaterial circumstance.
The poor queen then spoke to me of the birthday present she had
designed for her most amiable daughter. She hesitated a little
whether or not to produce it, but at length meekly said, "Yes, go
to Miss Planta and bring it. Do you think there can be any harm
in giving it now?"
"O, no!" I said, happy to encourage whatever was a little less
gloomy, and upstairs I flew. I was met by all the poor
princesses and the Duke of York, who inquired if he might go
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again to the queen. I begged leave first to execute my
commission. I did; but so engrossed was my mind with the whole
of this living tragedy, that I so little noticed what it was I
carried as to be now unable to recollect it. I gave it, however,
to the queen, who then sent for the princesses, and carried her
gift to her daughter, weeping, who received it with a silent
courtesy, kissing and wetting with her gentle tears the hand of
her afflicted mother.
STRANGE BEHAVIOUR OF THE FIRST GENTLEMAN IN EUROPE.
During my mournful breakfast poor Mr. Smelt arrived from Kew,
where he had now settled himself. Mr. de Luc also joined us, and
they could neither prevail upon themselves to go away all the
morning. Mr. Smelt had some thoughts of taking up his abode in
Windsor till the state of things should be more decisive. The
accounts of the preceding night had been most cruel, and to quit
the spot was scarce supportable to him. Yet he feared the
princes might disapprove his stay, and he well knew his influence
and welcome at Court was all confined to the sick-room: thence,
there could now issue no mandate.
Yet I encouraged him to stay; so did Mr. de Luc; and while he was
still wavering he saw Dr. Warren in the courtyard, and again
hastened to speak with him. Before he returned the Prince of
Wales went out and met him; and you may imagine how much I was
pleased to observe from the window that he took him by the arm,
and walked up and down with him.
When he came to us he said the prince had told him he had better
stay, that he might see the queen. He determined, therefore, to
send off an express to Mrs. Smelt, and go and secure an apartment
at the inn. This was very soothing to me, who so much needed
just such consolation as he could bestow - and I begged he would
come back to dinner, and spend the whole day in my room, during
his stay.
What, however, was my concern and amaze, when, soon after,
hastily returning, he desired to speak to me alone, and, as Mr.
de Luc moved off, told me he was going back immediately to Kew!
He spoke with a tremor that alarmed me. I entreated to know why
such a change? He then informed
me that the porter, Mr. Humphreys, had refused him re-entrance,
and sent him his great coat ! He had resented this
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impertinence, and was told it was by the express order of the
prince! In utter astonishment he then only desired admittance
for one moment to my room, and having acquainted me with this
circumstance, he hurried off, in a state of distress, and
indignation that left me penetrated with both.
>From this time, as the poor king grew worse, general hope seemed
universally to abate; and the Prince of Wales now took the
government of the house into his own hands. Nothing was done but
by his orders, and he was applied to in every difficulty. The
queen interfered not in anything - she lived entirely in her two
new rooms, and spent the whole day in patient sorrow and
retirement with her daughters.
STRINGENT NEW REGULATIONS.
The next news that reached me, through Mr. de Luc, was, that the
prince had sent his commands to the porter, to admit only four
persons into the house on any pretence whatever these were Mr.
Majendie, Mr. Turbulent, General Harcourt, and Mr. de Luc
himself; and these were ordered to repair immediately to the
equerry-room below stairs, while no one whatsoever was to be
allowed to go to any other apartment.
>From this time commenced a total banishment from all intercourse
out of the house, and an unremitting confinement within its
walls.
Poor Mr. de Luc, however, could not forego coming to my room. He
determined to risk that, since he was upon the list of those who
might enter the house. I was glad, because he is a truly good
man, and our sentiments upon this whole melancholy business were
the same. But otherwise, the weariness of a great length of
visit daily from a person so slow and methodical in discourse, so
explanatory of everything and of nothing, at this agitating
period, was truly painful to endure. He has often talked to me
till my poor burthened head has seemed lost to all understanding.
I had now, all tea-meetings being over, no means of gaining any
particulars of what was passing, which added so much to the
horror of the situation, that by the evening I was almost
petrified. Imagine, then, alike my surprise and satisfaction at
a visit from Mr. Fairly. He had never come to me so
unexpectedly. I eagerly begged an account of what was going on,
and, with his usual readiness and accuracy, he gave it me in full
detail. And nothing could be more tragic than all the
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particulars every species of evil seemed now hanging over this
unhappy family.
He had had his son with him in his room upstairs; "And I had a
good mind," he said, "to have brought him to visit YOU."
I assured him he would have been a very welcome guest; and when
he added that he could no longer have him at the Equerry table to
dinner, as the Prince of Wales now presided there, I invited him
for the next day to mine.
He not only instantly accepted the proposal, but cried, with
great vivacity, "I wish you would invite me too."
I thought he was laughing, but said, "Certainly, if such a thing
might be allowed;" and then, to my almost speechless surprise, he
declared, If I would give him permission, he would dine with me
next day.
He then proceeded to say that the hurry, and fatigue, and violent
animal spirits of the other table quite overpowered him, and a
respite of such a quiet sort would be of essential service to
him. Yet he paused a little afterwards, upon the propriety of
leaving the Prince of Wales's table, and said "He would first
consult with General Budé, and hear his opinion."
Sunday, Nov. 9.-No one went to church - not a creature now quits
the house: but I believe devotion never less required the aid and
influence of public worship. For me, I know, I spent almost my
whole time between prayer and watching. Even my melancholy
resource, my tragedy, was now thrown aside ; misery so actual,
living, and present, was knit too closely around me to allow my
depressed imagination to fancy any woe beyond what my heart felt.
In coming early from the queen's apartment this morning I was
addressed by a gentleman who inquired how I did, by my name; but
my bewilderment made him obliged to tell his own before I could
recollect him. It was Dr. Warren.
I eagerly expressed my hopes and satisfaction in his attendance
upon the poor king, but he would not enter upon that subject. I
suppose he feared, from my zeal, some indiscreet questions
concerning his opinion of the case; for he passed by all I could
start, to answer only with speeches relative to myself-of his
disappointment in never meeting me, though residing under the
same roof, his surprise in not dining with me when told he was to
dine in my room, and the strangeness of never seeing me when so
frequently he heard my name.
I could not bring myself to ask him to my apartment, when
Page 246
I saw, by his whole manner, e held it imprudent to speak with me
about the only subject on which I wished to talk--the king; and
just then seeing the Duke of York advancing, I hastily retreated.
While I was dressing, Mr. Fairly rapped at my door. I sent out
Goter, who brought me his compliments, and, if it would not be
inconvenient to me, he and his son would have the pleasure of
dining with me.
I answered, I should be very glad of their company, as would Miss
Planta. Miss Goldsworthy had now arranged herself with the Lady
Waldegraves.
Our dinner was as pleasant as a dinner at such a season could be.
Mr. Fairly holds cheerfulness as a duty in the midst of every
affliction that can admit it; and, therefore,, whenever his
animal spirits have a tendency to rise, he encourages and
sustains them, So fond, too, is he of his son, that his very
sight is a cordial to him - and that mild, feeling, amiable boy
quite idolizes his father, looking up to him, hanging on his arm,
and watching his eye to smile and be smiled upon, with a fondness
like that of an infant to its maternal nurse.
Repeatedly Mr. Fairly exclaimed, "What a relief is this, to dine
thus quietly!"
What a relief should I, too, have found it, but for a little
circumstance, which I will soon relate,
MRS. SCHWELLENBERG IS BACK AGAIN.
We were still at table, with the dessert, when Columb entered and
announced the sudden return from Weymouth of Mrs. Schwellenberg.
Up we all started; Miss Planta flew out to receive her, and state
the situation of the house; Mr. Fairly, expecting, I believe, she
was coming into my room, hastily made his exit without a word;
his son eagerly scampered after him, and I followed Miss Planta
upstairs.
My reception, however, was such as to make me deem it most proper
to again return to my room. What an addition this to the gloom
of all ! and to begin at once with harshness and rudeness! I
could hardly tell how to bear it.
Nov. 10.-This was a most dismal day. The dear and most suffering
king was extremely ill, the queen very wretched, poor Mrs.
Schwellenberg all spasm and horror, Miss Planta all restlessness,
the house all mystery, and my only informant and
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comforter distanced. Not a word, the whole day through, did I
hear of what was passing or intending. Our dinner was worse than
an almost famished fasting; we parted after it, and met no more.
Mrs. Schwellenberg, who never drinks tea herself, hearing the
general party was given up, and never surmising there had ever
been any particular one, neither desired me to come to her, nor
proposed returning to me. She took possession of the poor
queen's former dressing-room, and between that and the adjoining
apartments she spent all the day, except during dinner.
Nov. 11.-This day passed like the preceding; I only saw her
majesty in the morning, and not another human being from that
hour till Mrs. Schwellenberg and Miss Planta came to dinner. Nor
could I then gather any information of the present state of
things, as Mrs. Schwellenberg announced that nothing must be
talked of.
To give any idea of the dismal horror of passing so many hours in
utter ignorance, where every interest of the mind was sighing for
intelligence, would not be easy: the experiment alone could give
it its full force; and from that, Heaven ever guard my loved
readers!
Nov. 12.-To-day a little brightened upon us some change appeared
in the loved royal sufferer, and though it was not actually for
the better in itself, yet any change was pronounced to be
salutary, as, for some days pas'' there had been a monotonous
continuation of the same bad symptoms, that had doubly depressed
us all. My spirits rose immediately ; indeed, I thank God, I
never desponded, though many times I stood nearly alone in my
hopes.
In the passage, in the morning, I encountered Colonel Gwynn. I
had but just time to inform him I yet thought all would do well,
ere the princes appeared. All the equerries are now here except
Major Garth, who is ill; and they have all ample employment in
watching and waiting. From time to time they have all
interviews; but it is only because the poor king will not be
denied seeing them: it is not thought light. But I must enter
into nothing of this sort-it is all too closely connected with
private domestic concerns for paper.
After dinner, my chief guest, la Présidente, told me, " If my
room was not so warm, she would stay a little with me." I felt
this would be rather too superlative an obligation; and therefore
I simply answered that "I was too chilly to sit in a
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cold room;" and I confess I took no pains to temper it according
to this hint.
PUBLIC PRAYERS FOR THE KING DECIDED UPON.
Finding there was now no danger Of disagreeable interviews, Mr.
Fairly renewed his visits as usual. He came early this evening,
and narrated the state of things; and then, with a laugh, he
Inquired What I had done With my head companion, and how I got
rid of her? I fairly told him my malice about the temperature.
He could not help laughing, though he instantly remonstrated
against an expedient that might prove prejudicial to my health.
"You had better not," he cried, "try any experiments of this
sort: if you hurt Your nerves, it may prove a permanent evil;
this other can only be temporary."
He took up the "Task" again; but he opened, by ill luck, upon
nothing striking or good; and soon, with distaste, flung the book
down, and committed himself wholly to conversation.
He told me he wished much he had been able to consult with me on
the preceding morning, when he had the queen's orders to write,
in her majesty's name, to the Archbishop of Canterbury, to issue
out public prayers for the poor king, for all the churches.
I assured him I fancied it might do very well without my aid.
There was to be a privy council summoned, in consequence of the
letter, to settle the mode of compliance.
How right a step in my ever-right royal mistress is this! If you
hear less of her now, my dearest friends, and of the internal
transactions, it is only because I now rarely saw her but alone,
and all that passed, therefore, was in promised confidence. And,
for the rest, the whole of my information concerning the princes,
and the plans and the proceedings of the house, was told me in
perfect reliance on my secrecy and honour.
I know this is saying enough to the most honourable of all
confidants and friends to whom I am writing. All that passes
with regard to myself is laid completely before them.
Nov. 13- This was the fairest day we have passed since the first
seizure of the most beloved of monarchs. He was considerably
better. O what a ray of joy lightened us, and how mildly did my
poor queen receive it
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Nov. 14--Still all was greatly amended, and better
spirits reigned throughout the house.
Mr. Fairly--I can write of no one else, for no one else did I
see--called early, to tell me he had received an answer relative
to the prayer for his majesty's recovery, in consequence of which
he had the queen's commands for going to town the next day, to
see the archbishop. This was an employment so suited to the
religious cast of his character, that I rejoiced to see it fall
into his hands.
He came again in the evening, and said he had now got the prayer.
He did not entirely approve it, nor think it sufficiently warm
and animated. I petitioned to hear it, and he readily complied,
and read it with great reverence, but very unaffectedly and
quietly. I was very, very much touched by It ; yet not, I own,
quite so much as once before by another, which was read to me by
Mr. Cambridge, and composed by his son, for the sufferings of his
excellent daughter Catherine. It was at once so devout, yet so
concise--so fervent, yet so simple, and the many tender relations
concerned in it--father, brother, sister,--so powerfully affected
me, that I had no command over the feelings then excited, even
though Mr. Cambridge almost reproved me for want of fortitude;
but there was something so tender in a prayer of a brother for a
sister.
Here, however, I was under better control - for though my whole
heart was filled with the calamitous state of this unhappy
monarch, and with deepest affliction for all his family, I yet
knew so well my reader was one to severely censure all failure in
calmness and firmness, that I struggled, and not ineffectually,
to hear him with a steadiness like his own. But, fortunately for
the relief of this force, he left the room for a few minutes to
see if he was wanted, and I made use of his absence to give a
little vent to those tears which I had painfully restrained in
his presence.
When he returned we had one of the best (on his part)
conversations in which I have ever been engaged, upon the highest
and most solemn of all subjects, prayers and supplications to
heaven. He asked my opinion with earnestness, and gave his own
with unbounded openness.
Nov. 15-This morning my poor royal mistress herself presented me
with one of the prayers for the king. I shall always keep it --
how--how fervently did I use it!
Whilst I was at breakfast Mr. Fairly once more called before he
set off for town and he brought me also a copy of the
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prayer. He had received a large packet of them from the
archbishop, Dr. Moore, to distribute in the house.
The whole day the king continued amended.
Sunday, Nov. 16.-This morning I ventured out to church. I did
not like to appear abroad, but yet I had a most irresistible
earnestness to join the public congregation in the prayer for the
king. Indeed nothing could be more deeply moving: the very sound
of the cathedral service, performed in his own chapel, overset me
at once; and every prayer in the service in which he was
mentioned brought torrents of tears from all the suppliants that
joined in them. I could scarcely keep my place, scarce command
my voice from audible sobs. To come to the House of prayer from
such a house of woe! I ran away when the service was over, to
avoid inquiries. Mrs. Kennedy ran after me, with swollen eyes; I
could not refuse her a hasty answer, but I ran the faster after
it, to avoid any more.
The king was worse. His night had been very bad ; all the fair
promise of amendment was shaken; he had now some symptoms even
dangerous to his life. O good heaven, what a day did this prove!
I saw not a human face, save at dinner and then, what faces!
gloom and despair in all, and silence to every species of
intelligence. . . .
It was melancholy to see the crowds of former welcome visitors
who were now denied access. The prince reiterated his former
orders; and I perceived from my window those who had ventured to
the door returning back in deluges of tears. Amongst them to-day
I perceived poor Lady Effingham, the Duchess of Ancaster, and Mr.
Bryant ; the last sent me In, afterwards, a mournful little
letter, to which he desired no answer. Indeed I was not at
liberty to write a word.
SIR LuCAS PEPYS ON THE KING's CONDITION.
Nov. 19.-The account of the dear king this morning was rather
better.
Sir Lucas Pepys was now called in, and added to Dr. Warren, Dr.
Heberden, and Sir George Baker. I earnestly wished to see him,
and I found my poor royal mistress was secretly anxious to know
his opinion. I sent to beg to speak with him, as soon as the
consultation was over; determined, however, to make that request
no more if he was as shy of giving information as Dr. Warren,
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poor Mr. de Luc was with me wen he came ; but it was
necessary I should see Sir Lucas alone, that I might have a
better claim upon his discretion : nevertheless I feared he would
have left me, without the smallest intelligence, before I was
able to make my worthy, but most slow companion comprehend the
necessity of his absence.
The moment we were alone, Sir Lucas opened upon the subject in
the most comfortable manner. He assured me there was nothing
desponding in the case, and that his royal patient would
certainly recover, though not immediately.
Whilst I was in the midst of the almost speechless joy with which
I heard this said, and ready to kiss the very feet of Sir Lucas
for words of such delight, a rap at my door made me open it to
Mr. Fairly, who entered, saying, "I must come to ask you how you
do, though I have no good news to bring you; but--"
He then, with the utmost amaze, perceived Sir Lucas. In so very
many visits he had constantly found me alone, that I really
believe he had hardly thought it possible he should see me in any
other way.
They then talked over the poor king's situation, and Sir Lucas
was very open and comforting. How many sad meetings have I had
with him heretofore ; first in the alarming attacks of poor Mr.
Thrale, and next in the agonizing fluctuations of his unhappy
widow!
Sir Lucas wished to speak with me alone, as he had something he
wanted, through me, to communicate to the queen; but as he saw
Mr. Fairly not disposed to retire first, by his manner of saying
"Sir Lucas, you will find all the breakfast ready below stairs,"
he made his bow, and said he would see me again.
Mr. Fairly then informed me he was quite uneasy at the recluse
life led by the queen and the princesses, and that he was anxious
to prevail with them to take a little air, which must be
absolutely necessary to their health. He was projecting a scheme
for this purpose, which required the assistance of the Duke of
York, and he left me, to confer upon it with his royal highness,
promising to return and tell its success.
Sir Lucas soon came back, and then gave me such unequivocal
assurances of the king's recovery, that the moment he left me I
flew to demand a private audience of the queen, that I might
relate such delightful prognostics.
The Duke of York was with her, I waited in the passage,
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where I met Lady Charlotte Finch, and tried what I could to
instil into her mind the hopes I entertained: this, however, was
not possible; a general despondency prevailed throughout the
house, and Lady Charlotte was infected by it very deeply.
At length I gained admission and gave my account, which was most
meekly received by the most patient of sorrowers.
At night came Mr. Fairly again; but, before he entered into any
narrations he asked "DO you expect Sir Lucas?"
"No," I said, "he had been already."
"I saw him rise early from table," he added, "and I thought he
was coming to YOU."
He has taken no fancy to poor Sir Lucas, and would rather,
apparently, avoid meeting him. However, it is to me so essential
a comfort to hear his opinions, that I have earnestly entreated
to see him by every opportunity.
FURTHER CHANGES AT THE LODGE.
The equerries now had their own table as usual, to which the
physicians were regularly invited, downstairs, and our
eating-party was restored. The princes established a table of
their own at the Castle, to which they gave daily invitations to
such as they chose, from time to time, to select from the Lodge.
The noise of so large a party just under the apartment of the
queen occasioned this new regulation, which took place by her
majesty's own direction.
Nov. 20.-Poor Miss Goldsworthy was now quite ill, and forced to
retire and nurse. No wonder, for she had suffered the worst sort
of fatigue, that of fearing to sleep, from the apprehension the
queen might speak, and want her. Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave now
took her place Of sleeping in the queen's room, but the office of
going for early intelligence how his majesty had passed the night
devolved upon me.
Exactly at seven o'clock I now went to the queen's apartment -
Lady Elizabeth then rose and went to her own room to dress, and I
received the queen's commands for my inquiries. I could not,
however, go myself into the room where they assembled, which Miss
Goldsworthy, who always applied to her brother, had very properly
done : I sent in a message to beg to speak with General Bud, or
whoever could bring an account.
Mr. Charles Hawkins came; he had sat up. O, how terrible a
narrative did he drily give of the night!--short, abrupt,
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peremptorily bad, and indubitably hopeless! I did not dare
alter, but I greatly softened this relation, in giving it to my
poor queen. I had been, indeed, too much shocked by the hard way
in which I had been told it, to deliver it in the same manner;
neither did I, in my own heart, despair.
I saw Sir Lucas afterwards, who encouraged all my more sanguine
opinions. He told me many new regulations had been made. His
majesty was to be kept as quiet as possible, and see only
physicians, except for a short and stated period in every day,
during which he might summon such among his gentlemen as he
pleased.
Mr. Fairly came also early, and wrote and read letters of great
consequence relative to the situation of affairs ; and he told me
he was then to go to the king, who had refused his assent to the
new plan, and insisted upon seeing him when he came in from his
ride, which, to keep him a little longer quiet, they had made him
believe he was then taking. The gentlemen had agreed to be
within call alternately, and he meant to have his own turn always
in the forenoon, that his evenings might have some chance for
quiet, The rest of the day was comfortless; my coadjutrix was now
grown so fretful and affronting that, though we only met at
dinner, it was hard to support her most unprovoked harshness.
MR. FAIRLY AND THE LEARNED LADIES.
At night, while I was just sealing a short note to my dear Miss
Cambridge, who had an anxiety like that of my own Susan and Fredy
lest I should suffer from my present fatigues, I heard the
softest tap at my door, which, before I could either put down my
letter or speak, was suddenly but most gently opened.
I turned about and saw a figure wrapped up in a great, coat, with
boots and a hat on, who cautiously entered, and instantly closed
the door. I stared, and looked very hard, but the face was much
hid by the muffling of the high collar to the great coat. I
wondered, and could not conceive who it could be. The figure
then took off his hat and bowed, but he did not advance, and the
light was away from him. I courtsied, and wondered more, and
then a surprised voice exclaimed, "Don't you know me?" and I
found it was Mr. Fairly.
"I cannot," he said, "stop now, but I will come again; however,
you know it, perhaps, already?
Page 254
"Know what?"
"Why--the--news."
"What news?"
"Why--that the king is much better, and--"
"Yes, Sir Lucas said so, but I have seen nobody since."
"No? And have you heard nothing more?"
"Nothing at all; I cannot guess what you mean."
"What, then, have not you heard--how Much the king has talked?
And--and have not you heard the charge."
"No; I have heard not a word of any charge."
"Why, then, I'll tell you."
A long preamble, uttered very rapidly, of "how much the king had
been talking," seemed less necessary to introduce his
intelligence than to give him time to arrange it; and I was so
much struck with this, that I could not even listen to him, from
impatience to have him proceed.
Suddenly, however, breaking off, evidently from not knowing how
to go on, he exclaimed, "Well, I shall tell it you all by and by;
you come in for your share!"
Almost breathless now with amaze, I could hardly cry,
"Do I?"
"Yes, I'll tell you," cried he; but again he stopped, and,
hesitatingly, said, "You--you won't be angry?"
"No," I answered, still more amazed, and even almost terrified,
at what I had now to expect.
"Well, then," cried he, instantly resuming his first gay and
rapid manner, "the king has been calling them all to order for
staying so long away from him. 'All the equerries and gentlemen
here,' he said, 'lost their whole time at the table, by drinking
so much wine and sitting so long over their bottle, which
constantly made them all so slow in returning to their waiting,
that when he wanted them in the afternoon they were never ready;
and-and-and Mr. Fairly,' says he, 'is as bad as any of them; not
that he stays so long at table, or is so fond of wine, but he's
just as late as the rest; for he's so fond of the company of
learned ladies, that he gets to the tea-table with Miss Burney,
and there he stays and spends his whole time.'"
He spoke all this like the velocity of lightning- but, had it
been with the most prosing slowness, I had surely never
interrupted him, so vexed I was, so surprised, so completely
disconcerted. Finding me silent, he began again, and as rapidly
as ever; "I know exactly," he cried, "what it all means--what
Page 255
the king has in his head--exactly what has given rise to the
idea--'tis Miss Fuzilier."
Now, indeed, I stared afresh, little expecting to hear her named
by him. He went on in too much hurry for me to recollect his
precise words, but he spoke of her very highly, and mentioned her
learning, her education, and her acquirements, with great praise,
yet with that sort of general commendation that disclaims all
peculiar interest; and then, with some degree of displeasure
mixed in his voice, mentioned the report that had been spread
concerning- them, and its having reached the ears of the king
before his Illness. He then lightly added something I could not
completely hear, of its utter falsehood, in a way that seemed to
hold even a disavowal too important for it, and then concluded
with saying, "And this in the present confused state of his mind
is altogether, I know, what he means by the learned ladies."
When he had done he looked earnestly for my answer, but finding I
made none, he said, with some concern, "You won't think any more
of it?"
"No," I answered, rather faintly.
In a lighter manner then, as if to treat the whole as too light
for a thought, he said, as he was leaving the room to change his
dress, "Well, since I have now got the character of being so fond
of such company, I shall certainly"--he stopped short, evidently
at a loss how to go on; but quickly after, with a laugh, he
hastily added, "come and drink tea with you very often;" and
then, with another laugh, which he had all to himself, he hurried
away.
He left me, however, enough to think upon and the predominant
thought was an immediate doubt whether or not, since his visits
had reached the king, his majesty's observation upon them ought
to stop their continuance?
Upon the whole, however, when I summed up all, I found not cause
sufficient for any change of system. No raillery had passed upon
me; and, for him, he had stoutly evinced a determined contempt of
it. Nothing of flirtation had been mentioned for either; I had
merely been called a learned lady, and he had merely been accused
Of liking such company. I had no other social comfort left me
but Mr. Fairly, and I had discomforts past all description or
suggestion. Should I drive him from me, what would pay me, and
how had he deserved it? and which way could it be worth while?
His friendship offered me a solace without hazard; it was held
out to me
Page 256
when all else was denied me; banished from every friend, confined
almost to a state of captivity, harrowed to the very soul with
surrounding afflictions, and without a glimpse of light as to
when or how all might terminate, it seemed to me, in this
situation, that providence had benignly sent in my way a
character of so much worth and excellence, to soften the rigour
of my condition, by kind sympathy and most honourable confidence.
This idea was sufficient; and I thence determined to follow as he
led, in disdaining any further notice, or even remembrance, if
possible, of this learned accusation.
Nov. 21.-All went better and better to-day, and I received from
the king's room a more cheering account to carry to my poor
queen. We had now hopes of a speedy restoration :
the king held long conferences with all his gentlemen, and,
though far from composed, was so frequently rational as to- make
any resistance to his will nearly impossible. Innumerable
difficulties attended this state, but the general promise it gave
of a complete recovery recompensed them all.
Sir Lucas Pepys came to me in the morning and acquainted me with
the rising hopes of amendment. But he disapproved the admission
of so many gentlemen, and would have limited the license to only
the equerry in waiting, Colonel Goldsworthy, and Mr. Fairly, who
was now principal throughout the house, in universal trust for
his superior judgment.
The king, Sir Lucas said, now talked of everybody and everything
he could recollect or suggest.
So I have heard, thought I.
And, presently after, he added, "No one escapes; you will have
your turn."
Frightened lest he knew I had had it, I eagerly exclaimed, "O,
no; I hope not."
"And why?" cried he, good-humouredly; "what need you care? He can
say no harm of you."
I ventured then to ask if yet I had been named? He believed not
yet.
This doubled my curiosity to know to whom the "learned ladies"
had been mentioned, and whether to Mr. Fairly himself, or to
someone who related it; I think the latter, but there is no way
to inquire.
Very early in the evening I heard a rap at my door. I was in my
inner room, and called out, "Who's there?" The door opened and
Mr, Fairly appeared.
Page 257
He had been so long in attendance this morning with our poor sick
monarch, that he was too much fatigued to join the dinner-party.
He had stood five hours running, besides the concomitant
circumstances of attention. He had instantly laid down when he
procured his dismission, and had only risen to eat some cold
chicken before he came to my room. During that repast he had
again been demanded, but he charged the gentleman to make his
excuse, as he could go through nothing further.
I hope the king did not conclude him again with the learned; This
was the most serene, and even cheerful evening,, I had passed
since the poor king's first seizure.
REPORTS ON THE KING'S CONDITION.
Nov. 22.-When I went for my morning inquiries, Colonel Manners
came out to me. He could give me no precise account, as the
sitters-up had not yet left the king, but he feared the night had
been bad. We mutually bewailed the mournful state of the house.
He is a very good creature at heart, though as unformed as if he
had just left Eton or Westminster. But he loves his master with
a true and faithful heart, and is almost as ready to die as to
live for him, if any service of that risk was proposed to him.
While the queen's hair was dressing, though only for a close cap,
I was sent again. Colonel Manners came out to me, and begged I
would enter the music-room, as Mr. Keate, the surgeon, had now
just left the king, and was waiting to give me an account before
he laid down.
I found him in his night-cap: he took me up to a window, and gave
me but a dismal history : the night had been very unfavourable,
and the late amendment very transient. I heard nothing further
till the evening, when my constant companion came to me. All, he
said, was bad: he had been summoned and detained nearly all the
morning, and had then rode to St. Leonard's to get a little rest,
as he would not return till after dinner.
He had but just begun his tea when his name was called aloud in
the passage: up he started, seized his hat, and with a hasty bow,
decamped. I fancy it was one of the princes; and the more, as he
did not come back.
Sunday, Nov. 23.-A sad day this! I was sent as usual for
Page 258
the night account, which I had given to me by Mr. Fairly, and a
very dismal one indeed. Yet I never, upon this point, yield
implicitly to his opinion, as I see him frequently of the
despairing side, and as for myself, I thank God, my hopes never
wholly fall. A certain faith in his final recovery has uniformly
supported my spirits from the beginning. . .
In the evening, a small tap at my door, with, "Here I am again,"
ushered in Mr. Fairly. He seemcd much hurried and disturbed, and
innately uncomfortable; and very soon he entered into a detail of
the situation of affairs that saddened me in the extreme. The
poor king was very ill indeed, and so little aware of his own
condition, that he would submit to no rule, and chose to have
company with him from morning till night, sending out for the
gentlemen one after another without intermission, and chiefly for
Mr. Fairly, who, conscious it was hurtful to his majesty, and
nearly worn out himself, had now no chance of respite or escape
but by leaving the house and riding out. . . .
I have never seen him so wearied, or so vexed, I know not which.
"How shall I rejoice," he cried, "when all this is over, and I
can turn my back to this scene!"
I should rejoice, I said, for him when he could make his escape;
but his use here, in the whole round, is infinite; almost nothing
is done without consulting him.
"I wish," he cried, while he was making some memorandums, "I
could live without sleep; I know not now how to spare my night."
He then explained to me various miscellaneous matters of
occupation, and confessed himself forced to break from the
confused scene of action as much as possible, where the tumult
and bustle were as overpowering, as the affliction, in the more
quiet apartments, was dejecting. Then, by implication, what
credit did he not give to my Poor still room, which he made me
understand was his only refuge and consolation in this miserable
house!
MR. FAIRLY THINKS THE KING NEEDS STRICTER MANAGEMENT.
Nov. 24.-Very bad again was the night's account, which
I received at seven o'clock this morning from Mr. DUndas. I
returned with it to my Poor royal mistress, who heard it with her
usual patience.
Page 259
While I was still with her, Lady Elizabeth came with a
request from Mr. Fairly, for an audience before her majesty's
breakfast. As soon as she was ready she ordered me to tell Lady
Elizabeth to bring him. . . .
Soon after,--with a hasty rap, came Mr. Fairly. He brought his
writing to my table, where I was trying to take off impressions
of plants. I Saw he meant to read me his letter; but before he
had finished it Lady Charlotte Finch came in search of him. It
was not for the queen, but herself; she wished to speak and
consult with him upon the king's seeing his children, which was
now his vehement demand.
He was writing for one of the king's messengers, and could not
stop till he had done. Poor Lady Charlotte, overcome with
tenderness and compassion, wept the whole time he was at his pen;
and when he had put it down, earnestly remonstrated on the
cruelty of the present regulations, which debarred his majesty
the sight of the princesses. I joined with her, though more
firmly, believe me; my tears I suppress for my solitude. I have
enough of that to give them vent, and, with all my suppression,
my poor aching eyes can frequently scarce see one object from
another.
When Mr. Fairly left off writing he entered very deeply into
argument with Lady Charlotte. He was averse to her request; he
explained the absolute necessity of strong measures, and of the
denial of dangerous indulgences, while the poor king was in this
wretched state. The disease, he said, was augmented by every
agitation, and the discipline of forced quiet was necessary till
he was capable of some reflection. At present he spoke
everything that occurred to him, and in a manner so wild,
unreasonable, and dangerous, with regard to future constructions,
that there could be no kindness so great to him as to suffer him
only to see those who were his requisite attendants.
He then enumerated many instances very forcibly, in which he
showed how much more properly his majesty might have been
treated, by greater strength of steadiness in his management. He
told various facts which neither of us had heard, and, at last,
in speaking of the most recent occurrences, he fell into a
narrative relating to himself.
The king, he said, had almost continually demanded him of late,
and with the most extreme agitation; he had been as much with him
as it was possible for his health to bear. "Five hours,,,
continued he, "I spent with him on Friday, and four
Page 260
on Saturday, and three and a half yesterday; yet the moment I
went to him last night, he accused me of never coming near him.
He said I gave him up entirely; that I was always going out,
always dining out, always going to Mrs. Harcourt's--riding to St.
Leonard's; but he knew why--'twas to meet Miss Fuzilier." . . .
Poor Lady Charlotte was answered, and, looking extremely sorry,
went away.
He then read me his messenger's letter. 'Twas upon a very
delicate affair, relative to the Prince of Wales, in whose
service, he told me, he first began his Court preferment.
When he had made up his packet he returned to the subject of the
king's rage, with still greater openness. He had attacked him,
he said, more violently than ever about Miss Fuzilier which,
certainly, as there had been such a report, was very unpleasant.
"And when I seriously assured him," he added, "that there was
nothing in it, he said 'I had made him the happiest of men."'
Nov. 25.---My morning account was from General Bud, and
a very despairing one. He has not a ray of hope for better days.
My poor queen was so much pleased with a sort of hymn for the
king, which she had been reading In the newspapers, that I
scrupled not to tell her of one in manuscript, which, of course,
she desired to read; but I stipulated for its return, though I
could not possibly stay in the room while she looked at it.
MR. FAIRLY WANTS A CHANGE.
In the evening Mr. Fairly came, entering with a most gently civil
exclamation of "How long it is since I have seen you!"
I could not answer, it was only one evening missed; for, in
truth, a day at this time seems liberally a week, and a very slow
one too. He had been to town, suddenly sent by the queen last
night, and had returned only at noon.