_Bayly._ I can perceive none other, I speke it from my hart,
But either ye ar in al the fault, or els in the greatest part.
_D. Rat._ If it be counted his fault, besides all his greeves,
When a poore man is spoyled and beaten among theeves,
Then I confess my fault herein, at this season; 5
But I hope you will not judge so much against reason.
_Bayly._ And, me thinkes, by your owne tale, of all that ye name,
If any plaid the theefe, you were the very same.
The women they did nothing, as your words make probation,
But stoutly withstood your forcible invasion. 10
If that a theefe at your window to enter should begin,
Wold you hold forth your hand and helpe to pull him in?
Or you wold kepe him out? I pray you answere me.
_D. Rat._ Mary, kepe him out, and a good cause why!
But I am no theefe, sir, but an honest learned clarke. 15
_Bayly._ Yea, but who knoweth that, when he meets you in the darke?
I am sure your learning shines not out at your nose!
Was it any marvaile though the poore woman arose
And start up, being afraide of that was in hir purse?
Me thinke you may be glad that you[r] lucke was no worse. 20
_D. Rat._ Is not this evill ynough, I pray you, as you thinke?
(_Showing his broken head._)
_Bayly._ Yea, but a man in the darke, if[726] chaunces do wincke,
As soone he smites his father as any other man,
Because for lacke of light discerne him he ne can.
Might it not have ben your lucke with a spit to have
ben slaine? 25
_D. Rat._ I think I am litle better, my scalpe is cloven to the
braine.
If there be all the remedy, I know who beares the k[n]ockes.
_Bayly._ By my troth, and well worthy besides to kisse the stockes!
To come in on the backe side, when ye might go about!
I know non such, unles they long to have their braines knockt
out. 30
_D. Rat._ Well, wil you be so good, sir, as talke with Dame Chat,
And know what she intended? I aske no more but that.
_Bayly._ Let her be called, fellow,[727] because of Master Doctor,
I warrant in this case she wil be hir owne proctor;
She will tel hir owne tale in metter or in prose, 35
And byd you seeke your remedy, and so go wype your nose.
The v. Acte. The ii Sceane.