long, and should find out whether there is any danger of an incursion by
cattle. It is very desirable to select a place near shade-trees.
Luncheon-baskets furnished with knives, forks, etc., can now be readily
purchased. Cold water, fruit-punch, or lemonade and hot coffee may be
conveniently transported in Thermos bottles. Some people carry
chafing-dishes and prepare scrambled eggs, mushrooms, or Welsh rarebit
on the spot. It is usual to have every one contribute some article to
the bill of fare at a picnic. In order that there shall not be a surplus
of one article and a shortage of another, the persons or committee who
get up the affair should arrange with each individual or party what they
shall bring. If there are tables at the appointed rendezvous, cold ham,
chickens, etc., may be brought whole. If the cloth is to be spread upon
the grass, the carving should all be done beforehand. The idea of a
picnic is that it shall be a more or less unceremonious occasion, yet
care must be taken that informality does not degenerate into slovenly
disorder. The food should all be done up neatly and daintily, napkins of
paper, if not of linen, should be provided, also knives and forks and
spoons where these will be needed.
The best results are secured by deputing two or more persons to arrange
the table, instead of intrusting this task to the whole company. When
the feast is ready the gentlemen pass the dishes to the ladies, but it
is a part of the fun to have the latter assist in the work. If there are
older people present, they are asked to sit still and be waited upon. At
formal picnics the table is arranged and the food set out by servants.
Impromptu vaudeville, charades, tableaux, or songs with guitar
accompaniment make a pleasant ending to the affair, where time permits.
Dancing has always been popular on these occasions. They are often held
at some place of resort which boasts a hall or open-air platform for the
dancers.
In dressing for a trip in a motor-car, a woman should wear a small,
close-fitting hat or an automobile bonnet. This and the large veil
covering it should be securely fastened down, so that there will be no
danger of their blowing away. All superfluous ribbons and streamers
should be avoided for the same reason. A dust-cloak of linen or pongee
is a great protection in summer. As such a garment affords little
warmth, the tourist should provide herself with a cloth coat also. Men
wear small caps and dusters or light overcoats. Since there is little
room for luggage on a car, a guest who is invited to go for a tour
should take as little as possible, packing it in a suit-case or bag, or
small automobile trunk, if she has received permission to carry one.
Since motoring is extremely dusty business, it is well to take a change
of costume to wear in the evening, if this is to be spent at an inn.
Foulards and India silks are excellent for this purpose, as they weigh
so little and are not easily creased or tumbled. If one has not space
for an entire gown, a dressy waist should be carried.
The craze for motoring has developed many wayside inns scattered along
the routes most frequented by tourists. Some of these are ancient
hostelries, or reproductions of the same, charmingly furnished in ye
olden style. Here travelers by automobile stop for lunch, afternoon tea,
or dinner, or to spend the night. As inn-keepers sometimes charge the
owners of motor-cars extortionate prices, those who wish to avoid great
expense should carry lunch-baskets with them. They can then arrange an
impromptu picnic by the wayside and so be independent of landlords,
should the latter be unreasonable in their charges. Indeed, many people
consider these wayside lunches part of the fun of a motor-trip. They
start off for a tour of several days, equipped with a large basket
containing plenty of provisions. Some picturesque spot is chosen for the
daily picnic, the basket being replenished at shops or hotels _en
route_, should this be necessary.
People who wish to go on a motor-trip in Europe now find it better to
take over their own car and chauffeur, rather than to hire these on the
other side of the water. It is necessary, however, to procure a permit
allowing the party to cross from one country into another. Otherwise the
traveler is subject to vexatious delays at the frontiers. The owner of a
car must always remember that the chauffeur, like the passengers,
requires food at regular intervals. Sometimes an allowance is made to
him and he gets his meals where he likes; sometimes his employer
arranges for his entertainment. As he is usually of a better class than
the ordinary domestic, he is not willing to eat with the servants. He
prefers to take his meals after his employer, but at the same table. If
the latter is visiting at an expensive inn, and there are cheaper ones
of a suitable character in the neighborhood, he may request his
chauffeur to dine or spend the night at one of these, furnishing him
with the money.
Instead of staying at an inn, the automobilist sometimes makes a visit
to friends in the country. Where this is by invitation, the host
entertains the chauffeur, or arranges to have him cared for in the
neighborhood. As the touring party probably consists of two or three
people in addition, such a visit, if prolonged, may readily become a tax
on the hospitality of the host. Hence the stay should be limited to one
or two nights, else it may become a “visitation.”
If a party of motorists stop to lunch or spend the night at a friend’s
house without previous invitation, they should endeavor to provide for
the entertainment of their chauffeur elsewhere, since it would hardly be
courteous to put this additional strain on the hospitality of their
host.
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X
BRIDGE PARTIES AND EVENING RECEPTIONS
Arrangement of the Card-tables—Playing for Prizes—Good and Bad Manners
at the Card-table—Why Certain People are not Asked—Duties of
Hostess—Card Parties for Charity—Dress and Etiquette of Evening
Receptions.
THE extreme popularity of bridge has somewhat lessened since the tango
craze invaded society. Card-playing still has many devotees, however,
and is likely to have them in the future, as in the past. When not
carried on too strenuously, it affords a mild and gentle form of
amusement that is especially valuable to elderly persons, or to younger
ones of quiet tastes.
For a bridge party, card-tables and light chairs can be hired from
furniture stores or caterers. Ordinary tables may be used, provided they
are large enough to seat four persons comfortably, and not so large as
to make it difficult to reach across them to gather up the tricks. It is
now thought well to cover them with a cloth, although our grandparents
used the bare mahogany, if we may judge by the tables that have come
down to us. Hostesses who often give card parties will find it
convenient to buy several tables. These may be covered with green baize
or enamel cloth, or upholstered in silk or damask to match the room. In
the latter case one should have white linen slips that can be taken off
and washed every time they are used. Small, light chairs are preferred
to heavy ones, and they must be of the right height. The hostess should
measure her rooms beforehand, to see how many people she can accommodate
comfortably.
Space must be left to pass between the tables, and these must not be
placed too near steam-pipes or draughty windows. The drawing-rooms
should be well ventilated before the guests arrive, yet not quite so
cool as they would be for a dance. Should they become close in the
course of the evening, the hostess should be careful not to open a
window without warning those in the vicinity that she is about to do so,
and so give them an opportunity of changing their seats. In a house
furnished with electric lights, it is easy to have the rooms well
lighted yet not overheated. Where it is necessary to use lamps or
candles, their arrangement will require some care. They must be near
enough the players to enable them to see, yet never set on the
card-table itself. It is dangerous to place them on stands so small and
light that they are liable to be upset.
All the paraphernalia used in the game, the playing-cards, scoring
tablets or cards, counters, etc., must be fresh and in good condition. A
pencil that refuses to write furnishes one of the peculiarly
exasperating, though small, miseries of life. If many people are
invited, new cards should be provided. For progressive euchre there must
be punches and score-cards. The hostess asks some one to do the
punching, or attends to it herself. At a large party she does not play
unless it is necessary to fill an empty place.
Some persons think it no harm to play for money, provided the stakes are
very small. The habit of gambling, which was introduced into society in
this country not many years ago, has resulted in such scandals and so
much evil that the wisest and safest way is to avoid it altogether. Even
where there is playing for money, a hostess must provide one or more
tables for those guests who object to it on principle. Good form and
common sense alike demand this. Many people become so excited by the
desire to win the prize or stakes of the evening that they treat one
another with scanty politeness, and the unfortunate player who makes a
mistake is often roundly scolded for her carelessness. During the card
mania which prevailed at Newport a year or two ago, it was said that
many people did not speak as they passed by, owing to quarrels over
bridge. To give prizes that are very handsome and expensive is not
considered to be in the best taste. The hostess should take pains to
secure articles that are pretty and attractive, but not of great money
value. It is also thought best not to show them until the playing is
over.
Some people find it interesting to play nominally, but not actually, for
money. A gentleman who took part in a series of games while crossing the
Atlantic was relieved when the voyage was over to find that the ladies
of the party construed all the financial obligations in a purely
Pickwickian sense. The score was made out, but no payments were
permitted. It need scarcely be said that a real debt at the gaming-table
is held to be one of honor, for the simple reason that there is no legal
obligation to pay it. To induce a young man or woman to play, and
perhaps lose a large sum of money, may be thought a greater offense
against honor.
Good form demands that all who take part in a game of cards shall pay
strict attention to it and follow the rules. Not every one can win, but
all should do their best. It is extremely annoying to devotees of bridge
to be interrupted by conversation while the hands are being played. The
great actress Charlotte Cushman once had her patience severely taxed by
a gentleman who persisted in talking to her partner. Presently she said
in her rich, deep voice, with great emphasis:
“_Remember, this is whist._”
The effect was startling, and the offender sinned no more, at least on
that occasion.
If a player does her best, more cannot be expected of her. To find fault
with one’s partner, asking her in an injured tone why she did not return
a certain lead, or why she played that ace of hearts second hand, is
decidedly bad form. We must always remember that among ladies and
gentlemen card-playing should be considered as an amusement, serious if
you will, but nevertheless a form of diversion and not a matter of
business. Hence the well-bred woman loses neither her temper nor her
philosophical spirit. She may wish to win, but her desire must not be so
overwhelming as to make every one feel uncomfortable if she loses. If
she destroys the pleasure of her neighbors by sulking, by snubbing or
scolding her partner, she has only herself to thank if she is not
invited to card parties. The habitual late-comer is also likely to be
left out. The person who arrives after every one has begun to play, or
who leaves before the games are over, interferes seriously with the
pleasure of others. As we have said above, the hostess does not play
when many persons are present, in order that she may be free to receive
late-comers and to have a general supervision of the comfort and
pleasure of her guests.
Bridge parties may be arranged for the afternoon or evening, or they may
take place in connection with a luncheon or a dinner. In either of the
latter cases it suffices to have lemonade or some other cooling drink
handed to the guests as they sit at the card-table. Some hostesses offer
sandwiches also, or give ices in the evening; others serve tea in the
afternoon. Where guests are invited to the card party only, a light
supper is served in the evening. Hostesses who expect to have bridge
follow a dinner should either invite card-players only or else arrange
for the entertainment of those who do not take part in the game. It is
rather forlorn for a single couple to be left out in the cold when the
players retire to another room and shut the doors to avoid being
disturbed. The former, having no one save their hosts to talk to, soon
take their leave.
Card parties are often used as a means of raising money for a charity,
or for the work of a society. These may be given at a hotel, a woman’s
club-house, or a private house. In the case last mentioned, the hostess
throws open her rooms and provides the refreshments, or a part of them,
as may be preferred. The members of the society may each bring a cake or
some sandwiches, the lady of the house furnishing tea and chocolate. It
is usually arranged to have several ladies buy a table apiece for a
certain sum of money. If this is two dollars, they sell the single seats
to their friends for fifty cents each, or invite the latter to come as
their guests. They bring their own outfit—cards, score, and the light,
collapsible tables that are easily carried; or these may be sent
beforehand to the house of the hostess. Occasionally an enterprising
member of the society brings some of her own handiwork and offers it for
sale, thus netting an additional sum for the charitable enterprise.
Evening receptions, unless enlivened by some special attraction, are
less popular now than in the earlier and simpler society of the
Victorian era. One of their obvious advantages is that men can attend
them, another is that they enable the hostess with limited space at her
command to invite a number of guests who would overcrowd her rooms
should she attempt to give a dance. The evening reception is a favorite
form of entertainment for introducing a distinguished guest to a circle
of friends. Certain hostesses in New York still receive on one evening
in the week, and succeed in gathering in their drawing-rooms an
interesting company of literary and artistic folk—people who know how to
talk and who enjoy doing so. A bride and groom may conveniently issue
cards for one or more evening receptions when they are settled in their
new home. They thus make themselves known to new friends and renew
acquaintance with old ones.
A reception in the evening is gayer than an affair in the daytime, yet
it need not necessarily be formal. For a large and handsome function,
engraved invitations in the names of both husband and wife are issued,
the “At Home” form being ordinarily used. If it is in honor of
distinguished guests, the phrase, “To meet Mr. and Mrs. —— ——” is added.
According to strict rule, the “At Home” formula does not require an
answer. It is always polite, however, to send regrets if one is unable
to attend the entertainment. For one or more informal receptions, the
joint visiting-card of husband and wife may be used, with the words “At
Home” and the date written in, the hours also (“9 to 11” in the city), if
desired. The arrangements are the same as for any evening occasion. The
central part of the drawing-rooms is cleared of furniture, and vases,
small stands, or other articles liable to be knocked over are removed to
some other part of the house. If the occasion is a large and stately
one, potted plants or other floral decorations may adorn the rooms,
while an orchestra composed of a few stringed instruments discourses
sweet sounds behind a leafy trellis. A handsome supper is served in the
dining-room during the greater part of the evening, since guests are
supposed to come and go rather than to stay through a reception.
It is in perfectly good form, however, to receive in a much more simple
fashion, in accordance with the customs of good society in continental
Europe. It is not necessary to provide either music, elaborate floral
decorations, or an expensive supper. In Italy, where evening receptions
are a favorite form of entertainment, ladies of rank give their guests
lemonade and biscuits, or sponge-cake and wine, or nothing at all! At an
occasion of this sort husband and wife usually receive together,
presenting all the company to the guest of honor, who stands beside
them.
At a formal affair the guests are usually announced by a man-servant. He
inquires their names and calls these out as they enter the drawing-room.
One does not leave cards at an evening reception. All wear evening
dress, as described in Chapter VII. Ladies seldom wear hats, however, as
they occasionally do at a public reception.
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XI
HOTELS, RESTAURANTS, AND ROOF-GARDENS
How to Entertain a Guest at a Hotel in the City and in the
Country—Etiquette for the Guest in Hotels and Restaurants—Dress for
Morning, Afternoon, and Evening.
IN these days of apartment-houses, the spare bedroom has been
necessarily eliminated from many households. This does not mean that
hospitality to friends from a distance has ceased to exist, but only
that it must be practised in a different way. If one has not sufficient
space to make a guest comfortable in one’s own dwelling, one should
arrange for her accommodation at a hotel. The room must be engaged, and
if possible visited beforehand. The hostess should see with her own
eyes, or with those of a trustworthy agent, that the apartment is
sufficiently large, well lighted and heated. A pleasant outlook is
desirable anywhere, but indispensable in the country. A foreign
gentleman of distinction attending a certain congress in the United
States a year or two ago was quartered in a small, stuffy, inner room.
So great was his dissatisfaction that the president of the learned body
was summoned. Fortunately, the latter was of an ingenious turn of mind.
Spying a fire-escape on the outside of the window, he explained at some
length to the foreigner the extreme desirability of the room—on account
of the proximity of this important mode of exit. The guest was entirely
satisfied with the explanation, and peace once more reigned among the
philosophers.
If the host’s means will permit, he should engage for his friend a room
with a bath. He should also instruct the clerk at the desk to have the
bill for room, meals, and service presented to him and not to the guest.
The latter will have no expense except fees to the servants. These vary
with the length of the stay and with the character of the hotel. A woman
is not expected to spend so much on tips as a man. It is usually best
for a transient guest to fee the waiter at each meal, since another man
will probably be in attendance at the next one. The usual rule is to
give ten per cent. of the sum paid for lunch or dinner—ten cents being
the minimum—except at a restaurant of humble pretensions, where five
will be gladly accepted by the waitress.
In addition to feeing the waiter, a lady gives a small sum to the
chambermaid—twenty-five cents for a stay of a day or two. Ten cents
should be sufficient for the porter when he brings up a trunk, and again
when he takes it away. The ubiquitous hall-boy strongly resembles the
daughter of the horse-leech. Here again, as in the case of the waiter,
the safest way seems to be to hand him ten cents, I will not say
whenever he appears, but whenever he performs any service for the
guest—such as escorting the latter to her room on her arrival, or
bringing a glass of ice-water. Women of frugal mind endeavor to call on
these functionaries as little as they can, because the cents readily
mount into dollars. The elevator-boy receives fewer tips than his
peripatetic brother, and need not be feed after a short stay.
It is always courteous to send exact information about trains to a
person coming from a distance. A man is usually able to take care of
himself, but for a woman it is not altogether pleasant to arrive alone
in a strange place. The hostess should meet her friend at the station,
or send some one else to do so and to bring her to the hotel. Here the
hostess should show her guest where to register and see her comfortably
established. If unable to meet the traveler at the train, the hostess
should call soon afterward in order to welcome her guest and to see that
the latter has everything that she needs. Where the friend from a
distance has come for a special occasion, such as a luncheon or a
reception, the hostess calls to take her to it and brings her back
afterward, or sends a carriage or car. The hostess should invite the
guest to a meal at her own house, or if this is not possible she usually
arranges to lunch or dine with her friend at the hotel. When the time
comes for departure, she pays the hotel bill before her guest appears on
the scene or after the latter has left, escorts her to the train, and
sees her off. If a lady comes on the invitation of a club, the secretary
or chairman of entertainment acts as hostess and fulfils all the duties
named above, except that it is not obligatory to invite the visitor to
her house, although it is always kind to do so. There is often some
member of the society living in the hotel who will invite the lecturer
to take one or more meals at her table, and will see in a general way
after her comfort. Some speakers, however, prefer to remain alone,
finding it an extra fatigue to be entertained.
When a hostess invites a friend for a stay of several days or a week,
she endeavors to select a hotel in her own neighborhood. She often
arranges to have the latter take all meals at her house, and plans for
her amusement as she would for a visitor under her own roof. Should the
distance, or some other circumstance, make it more convenient for the
friend to use the hotel dining-room, the hostess should call every
morning, or ring up on the telephone, to inquire how the visitor is and
make arrangements for the day’s programme, unless this has been agreed
upon on the previous evening. In the city, a guest from out of town
usually enjoys sight-seeing, the theater, opera, and concerts. A woman
of serious tastes likes to go to lectures and meetings; her more
light-minded sister enjoys shopping. In the country, motoring, boating,
bathing, and the various athletic sports in their season offer a variety
of attractions. If one can arrange a number of social entertainments for
a friend, and have her asked out to lunch or dine at other houses as
well as at that of the hostess, this is paying her a special compliment.
The best way to entertain a party of friends at a restaurant is to
engage the table and choose the bill of fare beforehand. Where the
luncheon or supper is an impromptu affair, this is not always possible.
The host may then consult his guests about the dishes, or he may make
out the menu and hand it to the waiter. If the service is _à la carte_,
it is rather awkward to pass the bill of fare to the guests, since the
prices will stare them in the face. Those who have delicacy of feeling
will hesitate to order costly dishes at the expense of another person.
Those who have no such scruples may make the bill too heavy for the
purse of the host. Therefore the latter does well to keep the bill of
fare in his own hands and give the order himself, consulting his guests
first, if he pleases. It is generally safer to avoid novel or very
elaborate dishes, unless one knows something about them. They are less
apt to be satisfactory, and are liked by fewer people than the plain,
ordinary articles of food.