MORNING RECEPTIONS OR CALLS.
ETIQUETTE FOR THE HOSTESS.
If your circle of visiting acquaintance is very large, while at the same
time your time is fully occupied, or your home duties make it
inconvenient to dress every morning to receive visitors, it is a good
plan to set aside one morning in the week for a reception day.
Upon your own visiting cards, below the name, put the day when it will
be proper to return the visit, thus:
MRS. JAMES HUNTER.
AT HOME WEDNESDAYS.
_No. 1718 C---- st._
Your friends will, unless there is some especial reason for a call in
the interval, pay their visit upon the day named.
Let nothing, but the most imperative duty, call you out upon your
reception day. Your callers are, in a measure, invited guests, and it
will be an insulting mark of rudeness to be out when they call. Neither
can you be excused, except in case of sickness.
Having appointed the day when you will be at home to see your friends,
you must, for that day, prepare to give your time wholly to them. The
usual hours for morning receptions are from twelve to three, and you
should be dressed, and ready for callers, at least half an hour before
that time.
To come in, flushed from a hurried toilette, to meet your first callers,
is unbecoming as well as rude.
Your dress should be handsome, but not showy. A silk or cashmere
wrapper, richly trimmed, over an embroidered skirt, with a pretty cap,
or the hair neatly arranged without head-dress, is a becoming and
appropriate dress. Still better is a rich but plain silk, made high in
the neck, with long sleeves. Wear a handsomely embroidered, or lace
collar, and sleeves, and a rather dressy cap, or, still better, the hair
alone, prettily arranged.
As each visitor arrives, rise, and advance part of the way to meet her.
If gentlemen, rise, but do not advance.
It is not customary now to introduce callers at these morning
receptions, though you can do so with perfect propriety where you know
such an introduction will be agreeable to both parties.
In introducing a gentleman to a lady, address her first, as--
"Miss Jones, permit me to introduce Mr. Lee;" and, when introducing a
young lady to a matron, you introduce the younger one to the elder, as--
"Mrs. Green, allow me to introduce to you my friend, Miss Brown."
In introducing strangers in the city it is well to name the place of
their residence, as--Mr. James of Germany, or, Mr. Brown of New York,
or, if they have recently returned from abroad, it is well to say so,
as, Mr. Lee, lately from India; this is useful in starting conversation.
Be careful, when introducing your friends, to pronounce the name of each
one clearly and distinctly, that there may be no mistake or necessity
for repetition.
It is a good plan, if your receptions are usually largely attended, to
have books and pictures on the centre table, and scattered about your
parlors. You must, of course, converse with each caller, but many will
remain in the room for a long time, and these trifles are excellent
pastime, and serve as subjects for conversation.
It requires much tact to know when to introduce friends, when to take
refuge under the shield fashion offers, and not make them acquainted
with each other. It is a positive cruelty to force a talented, witty
person, to converse with one who is ignorant and dull, as they will, of
course, be obliged to do, if introduced.
A well-bred lady, who is receiving several visitors at a time, pays
equal attention to all, and attempts, as much as possible, to generalize
the conversation, turning to all in succession. The last arrival,
however, receives a little more attention at first, than the others.
If it is not agreeable to you to set aside a day for the especial
reception of callers, and you have a large circle of acquaintances, be
ready to receive them each day that you are at home.
If you are engaged, let the servant say so when she opens the door, and
do not send down that message after your friend has been admitted. If
she is told when she arrives that you are engaged, she will understand
that you are denied to _all_ callers, but if that message comes after
she has sent up her card, she may draw the inference that you will not
see _her_, though you may see other friends.
Never keep a caller waiting whilst you make an elaborate toilette. If
you are not ready for visitors, it is best to enter the parlor in your
wrapper, apologizing for it, than to keep your friend waiting whilst you
change your dress.
If a stranger calls, bringing a letter of introduction, and sends the
letter, you may read it before going down stairs, but if they wait till
you are in the parlor before presenting the letter, merely glance at the
signature and at the name of your caller; do not read the letter
through, unless it is very short, or you are requested by the bearer to
do so.
If you have a friend staying with you, invite her to join you in the
parlor when you have callers, and introduce her to your friends.
If you wish to invite a caller to stay to luncheon or dinner, give the
invitation as soon as you have exchanged greetings, not after she has
been seated for some time. In the latter case it appears like an after
thought, not, as in the former, as if from a real desire to have the
pleasure of her company.
If you have but one caller at a time, rise when she does, and accompany
her to the vestibule; but, if there are several in the room, rise when
each one does, but only accompany them to the parlor door; there take
leave of them, and return to those who still remain seated.
If, after affliction, your friends call before you are able to see them,
do not fear to give offence by declining to receive them. They will
respect your sorrow, and the call is made more to show their sympathy
than from a desire to converse with you.
Visits of condolence, paid between the death of one of your family and
the day of the funeral, you may always excuse yourself from, with
perfect propriety. They are made in kindness, and show interest, but if
you decline seeing such callers, there is no offence given.
In parting from a gentleman caller, rise when he does, and remain
standing until he leaves the room, but do not go towards the door.
When a gentleman calls in the morning he will not remove his outside
coat, and will hold his hat in his hand. Never offer to take the latter,
and do not invite him to remove his coat. Take no notice of either one
or the other.
If strangers in the city call upon you, enquire at what hotel they are
staying, and how long they will be there, that you may return their call
before they leave town.