Castle.*
* Attempts to hinder the cessation, and taking possession of
Dunkirk.
When Nic. could not dissuade John by argument, he tried to move his
pity; he pretended to be sick and like to die; that he should leave his
wife and children in a starving condition, if John did abandon him; that
he was hardly able to crawl about the room, far less capable to look
after such a troublesome business as this lawsuit, and therefore begged
that his good friend would not leave him. When he saw that John was
still inexorable, he pulled out a case-knife, with which he used to
snicker-snee, and threatened to cut his own throat. Thrice he aimed
the knife to his windpipe with a most determined threatening air. "What
signifies life," quoth he, "in this languishing condition? It will be
some pleasure that my friends will revenge my death upon this barbarous
man that has been the cause of it." All this while John looked sedate
and calm, neither offering in the least to snatch the knife, nor stop
his blow, trusting to the tenderness Nic. had for his own person. When
he perceived that John was immovable in his purpose, he applied himself
to Lewis.
"Art thou," quoth he, "turned bubble in thy old age, from being a
sharper in thy youth? What occasion hast thou to give up Ecclesdown
Castle to John Bull? His friendship is not worth a rush. Give it me, and
I'll make it worth thy while. If thou dislikest that proposition, keep
it thyself; I'd rather thou shouldst have it than he. If thou hearkenest
not to my advice, take what follows; Esquire South and I will go on with
our lawsuit in spite of John Bull's teeth."
LEWIS BABOON.--Monsieur Bull has used me like a gentleman, and I am
resolved to make good my promise, and trust him for the consequences.
NIC. FROG.--Then I tell thee thou art an old doating fool.--With that
Nic. bounced up with a spring equal to that of one of your nimblest
tumblers or rope-dancers, and fell foul upon John Bull, to snatch the
cudgel* he had in his hand, that he might thwack Lewis with it: John
held it fast so that there was no wrenching it from him. At last Squire
South buckled to, to assist his friend Nic.: John hauled on one side,
and they two on the other. Sometimes they were like to pull John
over, then it went all of a sudden again on John's side, so they went
see-sawing up and down, from one end of the room to the other. Down
tumbled the tables, bottles, glasses, and tobacco-pipes; the wine and
the tobacco were all spilt about the room, and the little fellows were
almost trod under foot, till more of the tradesmen joining with Nic. and
the Squire, John was hardly able to pull against then all, yet would he
never quit hold of his trusty cudgel: which by the contrary force of two
so great powers broke short in his hands.** Nic. seized the longer end,
and with it began to bastinado old Lewis, who had slunk into a corner,
waiting the event of this squabble. Nic. came up to him with an insolent
menacing air, so that the old fellow was forced to scuttle out of the
room, and retire behind a dung-cart. He called to Nic., "Thou insolent
jackanapes, time was when thou durst not have used me so; thou now
takest me unprovided; but, old and infirm as I am, I shall find a weapon
by-and-by to chastise thy impudence."
* The army.
** The separation of the army.
When John Bull had recovered his breath, he began to parley with
Nic.: "Friend Nic., I am glad to find thee so strong after thy great
complaints; really thy motions, Nic., are pretty vigorous for a
consumptive man. As for thy worldly affairs, Nic., if it can do thee
any service, I freely make over to thee this profitable lawsuit, and
I desire all these gentlemen to bear witness to this my act and deed.
Yours be all the gain, as mine has been the charges. I have brought
it to bear finely: however, all I have laid out upon it goes for
nothing--thou shalt have it with all its appurtenances; I ask nothing
but leave to go home."
NIC. FROG.--The counsel are fee'd, and all things prepared for a trial;
thou shalt be forced to stand the issue; it shall be pleaded in thy
name as well as mine. Go home if thou canst; the gates are shut, the
turnpikes locked, and the roads barricaded.*
* Difficulty of the march of part of the army to Dunkirk.
JOHN BULL.--Even these very ways, Nic., that thou toldest me were as
open to me as thyself, if I can't pass with my own equipage, what can I
expect for my goods and wagons? I am denied passage through those very
grounds that I have purchased with my own money. However, I am glad I
have made the experiment; it may serve me in some stead.
John Bull was so overjoyed that he was going to take possession of
Ecclesdown, that nothing could vex him. "Nic.," quoth he, "I am just
a-going to leave thee; cast a kind look upon me at parting."
Nic. looked sour and glum, and would not open his mouth.
JOHN BULL.--I wish thee all the success that thy heart can desire, and
that these honest gentlemen of the long robe may have their belly full
of law.
Nic. could stand it no longer, but flung out of the room with disdain,
and beckoned the lawyers to follow him.
JOHN BULL.--B'ye, b'ye, Nic,; not one poor smile at parting? won't you
shake your day-day, Nic? b'ye, Nic.--With that John marched out of the
common road, across the country, to take possession of Ecclesdown.