South, which John Bull overheard.*
* Negotiations between the Emperor and the Dutch for
continuing the war, and getting the property of Flanders.
John thought every minute a year till he got into Ecclesdown Castle; he
repairs to the "Salutation" with a design to break the matter gently to
his partners. Before he entered he overheard Nic. and the Esquire in a
very pleasant conference.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Oh, the ingratitude and injustice of mankind! That John
Bull, whom I have honoured with my friendship and protection so long,
should flinch at last, and pretend that he can disburse no more money
for me! that the family of the Souths, by his sneaking temper, should be
kept out of their own!
NIC. FROG.--An't like your worship, I am in amaze at it; I think the
rogue should be compelled to his duty.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--That he should prefer his scandalous pelf, the dust and
dregs of the earth, to the prosperity and grandeur of my family!
NIC. FROG.--Nay, he is mistaken there, too; for he would quickly lick
himself whole again by his vails. It's strange he should prefer Philip
Baboon's custom to Esquire South's.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--As you say, that my clothier, that is to get so much by
the purchase, should refuse to put me in possession; did you ever know
any man's tradesman serve him so before?
NIC. FROG.--No, indeed, an't please your worship, it is a very unusual
proceeding; and I would not have been guilty of it for the world. If
your honour had not a great stock of moderation and patience, you would
not bear it so well as you do.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--It is most intolerable, that's certain, Nic., and I will
be revenged.
NIC. FROG.--Methinks it is strange that Philip Baboon's tenants do not
all take your honour's part, considering how good and gentle a master
you are.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--True, Nic., but few are sensible of merit in this world.
It is a great comfort to have so faithful a friend as thyself in so
critical a juncture.
NIC. FROG.--If all the world should forsake you, be assured Nic. Frog
never will; let us stick to our point, and we'll manage Bull, I'll
warrant ye.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Let me kiss thee, dear Nic.; I have found one honest man
among a thousand at last.
NIC. FROG.--If it were possible, your honour has it in your power to wed
me still closer to your interest.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Tell me quickly, dear Nic.
NIC. FROG.--You know I am your tenant; the difference between my lease
and an inheritance is such a trifle as I am sure you will not grudge
your poor friend. That will be an encouragement to go on; besides, it
will make Bull as mad as the devil: you and I shall be able to manage
him then to some purpose.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Say no more; it shall be done, Nic., to thy heart's
content.
John all this while was listening to this comical dialogue, and laughed
heartily in his sleeve at the pride and simplicity of the Esquire, and
the sly roguery of his friend Nic. Then of a sudden bolting into the
room, he began to tell them that he believed he had brought Lewis to
reasonable terms, if they would please to hear them.
Then they all bawled out aloud, "No composition: long live Esquire South
and the Law!" As John was going to proceed, some roared, some stamped
with their feet, others stopped their ears with their fingers.
"Nay, gentlemen," quoth John, "if you will but stop proceeding for
a while, you shall judge yourselves whether Lewis's proposals* are
reasonable."
* Proposals for cessation of arms and delivery of Dunkirk.
ALL.--Very fine, indeed; stop proceeding, and so lose a term.
JOHN BULL.--Not so neither; we have something by way of advance: he will
put us in possession of his Manor and Castle of Ecclesdown.
NIC. FROG.--What dost talk of us? thou meanest thyself.
JOHN BULL.--When Frog took possession of anything, it was always said to
be for us, and why may not John Bull be us as well as Nic. Frog was us?
I hope John Bull is no more confined to singularity than Nic. Frog; or,
take it so, the constant doctrine that thou hast preached up for many
years was that thou and I are one; and why must we be supposed two in
this case, that were always one before? It's impossible that thou and I
can fall out, Nic.; we must trust one another. I have trusted thee with
a great many things--prithee trust me with this one trifle.
NIC. FROG.--That principle is true in the main, but there is some
speciality in this case that makes it highly inconvenient for us both.
JOHN BULL.--Those are your jealousies, that the common enemies sow
between us: how often hast thou warned me of those rogues, Nic., that
would make us mistrustful of one another!
NIC. FROG.--This Ecclesdown Castle is only a bone of contention.
JOHN BULL.--It depends upon you to make it so; for my part, I am as
peaceable as a lamb.
NIC. FROG.--But do you consider the unwholesomeness of the air and soil,
the expenses of reparations and servants? I would scorn to accept of
such a quagmire.
JOHN BULL.--You are a great man, Nic., but in my circumstances I must be
e'en content to take it as it is.
NIC. FROG.--And you are really so silly as to believe the old cheating
rogue will give it you?
JOHN BULL.--I believe nothing but matter of fact; I stand and fall by
that. I am resolved to put him to it.
NIC. FROG.--And so relinquish the hopefullest cause in the world: a
claim that will certainly in the end make thy fortune for ever.
JOHN BULL.--Wilt thou purchase it, Nic.? thou shalt have a lumping
pennyworth; nay, rather than we should differ, I'll give thee something
to take it off my hands.
NIC. FROG.--If thou wouldst but moderate that hasty, impatient temper
of thine, thou shouldst quickly see a better thing than all that. What
shouldst thou think to find old Lewis turned out of his paternal estates
and mansion-house of Claypool?* Would not that do thy heart good, to see
thy old friend, Nic. Frog, Lord of Claypool? Then thou and thy wife and
children should walk in my gardens, buy toys, drink lemonade, and now
and then we should have a country dance.
* Claypool, Paris--Lutetia.
JOHN BULL.--I love to be plain: I'd as lief see myself in Ecclesdown
Castle as thee in Claypool. I tell you again, Lewis gives this as a
pledge of his sincerity; if you won't stop proceeding to hear him, I
will.