I have reason to bless God for all; yet they all come armed with
sorrow; for they are full of her of whom the Lord has emptied me. In
my strength I thought I could so entirely give her up to him, did he
desire it, since he had made her so strong in himself, and filled her
so full of his blessings; well, and even now, my soul doth magnify the
Lord, though in so many ways, I still feel my great and trying loss.
Perhaps the Lord has meant to teach me that the 91st Psalm, as dear
brother Cronin writes, relates only to Christ's humanity, specially
shewing how, from his cradle to his grave, his father watched over
him, so that at last he laid down his life, but none took it from him;
and he, in this great act, has made it over spiritually to us: he has
left the natural plague because of sin, but destroyed the spiritual
because of righteousness, even that righteousness which is by his own
most precious blood.
The Pasha of Aleppo, hearing of dear Edward Cronin, as an English
physician, wishing to come to Bagdad, wished to engage him to come
with him as his physician, and offered him 1500 piasters a month; but,
anxious as they were to come, the circumstances of their party did
not, on mature deliberation, allow them to separate, and Ali Pasha was
unwilling to undertake the responsibility of the females with his
camp. And, oh, how my soul blesses the Lord, now I think on it, that
these obstacles were so graciously interposed; disease, delay, and
trouble would have accompanied them, and, till now, they would have
been detained in the desert, with little prospect of speedy admission
into the city, which is firing against the camp, and the camp firing
against the city, and they would have been exposed to the full power
of a sun, which no one can tell how to estimate, but by actual
exposure to it.
I have also received a letter from Bussorah, stating that on the
drying up of the inundations there, a fever has been spreading, and
carrying off numbers. Major T.'s family had most of them been ill, but
they were recovering. Mr. Bathie was very weak, and his wife dead. Dr.
Beagry, the new surgeon of this station, also died, and immense
numbers of those who had fled from the plague. Bussorah is still
besieged, but expected soon to fall into the hands of the Motezellim.
A letter has also reached me to-day by the same conveyance, from the
Bible Society, dated 27th July last year, mentioning the sending of
three cases of Arabic and Persian Scriptures to my dear brother
Pfander. When I consider how God, in his infinite and unsearchable
providence, has seen it fit to bring to nought all our plans by the
disorganization of this at all times lawless land, I cannot but feel
it a strong call to form very few plans for the future, and just to
work by the day. Our hope was, when we came to Bagdad, to have been
able to travel pretty extensively both in the mountains of Kourdistan
and in Persia; but the state of the country, and other considerations,
brought all these plans to nothing, so my dear friend and kind
brother left me for Shushee, having been able to obtain much of the
information he desired, without the journey. And I, instead of having
a large present field of useful employment, and one prospectively
increasing, am now without employment or prospect, and if it were not
that I feel getting on a little in the colloquial language of the
country, I should be almost without hope of remaining with advantage
here; but while I feel this, my heart does not sink. The Lord will yet
let his light shine out of the darkness, and will one day enable me to
speak of his promises; for I daily feel more assured this is the great
gift after which an evangelist is to press--it is the very instrument
of his labour. And let such a missionary feel infinitely happier
to hear it said he speaks very low Arabic, but that every body
understands him; than very pure, but which is unintelligible, except
to the Mollahs. If he speaks not in a very mixed dialect of Turkish,
Persian, and Arabic, he will not be understood here; there is,
however, still an immense preponderance of Arabic over the others.
The British and Foreign School Society have also very kindly offered
to afford what assistance their limited means will allow to the
furtherance of Scripture instruction in the East. I shall endeavour
to repay this free kindness by obtaining the best information I can,
before I call on their aid, for nothing is so discouraging as failures
from precipitate attempts; but so variable is the state of affairs in
these countries, that previous to your judgment being matured by
experience, you may be led, with the best intentions possible, to
undertake, on a bright day, plans which, before they can be executed,
prove as baseless as a vision, and which will leave nothing behind
but the remembrance of useless expense and unproductive labour.
_July 22._--I had with me to-day, for the last time as a patient, an
officer of the Pasha's household who had the plague, and a large wound
from a carbuncle, but is now quite well, and he was talking of the
state of the city and country, and said, "Why do we wish to give our
country into the hands of the Ghiaours,[38] and not to the Persians?
It is because we know they will neither take our wives or daughters
from us, nor rob us of our money, nor cut off our heads, but in Islam
there is no mercy, no pity." He added, "Did you ever see me before I
came about my leg?" I said, "No." "Yet," he said "you had mercy upon
me, and cured me and my daughter (who also had had the plague), and
why? It was from your heart--there was mercy there." I took this
opportunity to explain the reason, as emanating from the command of
Christ, and not the goodness of my heart, and how truly could I say
it; for the Lord knows how, but for this, it would be a weariness unto
me. Now this impatience of their own government is not the feeling of
a few discontented men, but I am persuaded it is very general--how can
such a kingdom stand?
[38] This word Ghiaour, or infidel, is applied by Mohammedans
to Christians without the least intention of personal offence; and
what is still more extraordinary, the Christians commonly designate
themselves by the same appellation.
The government, if government it can be called, is now sending the
soldiers round to every house to seek for wheat and rice. From some
they take half, from others a third of their little store, while they
have enough for two years in their own corn cellars, and this too when
the necessaries of life are raised to between four and five times
their usual price; and as for fruit and vegetables, which constitute
in eastern countries, during summer, so large a portion of the food of
all classes, not a particle is to be seen.
Yesterday and to-day I have had two Roman Catholic merchants with me,
and in quoting Scripture to them, I found them ready with the context;
but the deadly evil is the separation of religion and its principles
from the government and rule of every day and every moment. In these
countries, where religious expressions are in every one's mouth, a
missionary has most valuable employment, as he is able to bring their
minds back to their own expressions, to their own import and power, as
we are desired to do to those who heartlessly use that beautiful form
of dedication in the communion service of the Church of England, "We
here present unto thee our bodies, souls, and spirits to be a
reasonable, holy, and lively sacrifice unto thee." Oh! that all who
use these blessed words felt their power, and lived under it. Christ's
name would soon be magnified from land to land.
_July 23._--The Pasha has just sent me a fish, with his compliments,
and a request that I will dress it for him: this is the way he
collects the daily provisions for his household; one person sends him
a dish of rice, another a dish of kebaub, another bread; at other
times all this takes place because of custom, but now from necessity,
for he has no servants scarcely to attend to him. This is the first
time I have been so honoured, and when the fish was cooked and sent,
he desired the servant to come back, and bring him a few kustawee
dates to eat with it; that, however, you may not think these any very
extravagant luxury, I may add, their value is somewhat less than a
penny a pound. I note this as a little trait of manners that one would
hardly credit, had not the fact come under his own observation.
_July 24._ _Lord's Day._--Nothing among the perverted use of
scriptural terms has ever struck me as more remarkable than the use
the Church now makes of the expression, tempting God. In God's word it
is uniformly placed among the sins of unbelief; but the Church now, by
universal consent, places it among the sins of presumption, to which
it is the very antipodes. For instance, it is one of the great crimes
of Israel, their tempting God in the desert, and limiting the Holy One
of Israel. How? By presumptuous confidence? No--but by saying he hath
given bread, but _can he give meat_ also? This is the only sense I
know in scripture given to tempting God, and that famous passage from
which the erroneous impression has mainly sprung, in the interview of
Satan with our Lord, is quite kindred. The object of Satan was to get
our Lord's mind into a condition of doubting God, by leading him to
argue, God has certainly said so, but will he do it? for our blessed
Lord was manifestly as much tempting God by attempting to walk upon
the water, as to cast himself into the air. What proves this to be the
meaning is our Lord's quotation, "It is written, Thou shalt not tempt
the Lord thy God." Now, where is this written? Why, in the Old
Testament, where it uniformly implies doubt and distrust; in Exod.
xvii. 2. "Therefore the people did chide with Moses, and said, Give us
water that we may drink. And Moses said unto them, Why chide ye with
me? Wherefore do ye tempt the Lord? And he called the name of the
place Massah and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of
Israel; and because they tempted the Lord, saying, _Is the Lord among
us, or not?_" (verse 7.) And it is in reference to this very passage,
that in Deut. vi. 16. it is said "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy
God, as ye tempted him in Massah." And that we may not have a doubt of
the meaning, see the application of the word tempting, as applied to
our dear and blessed Lord. Is it ever in the sense of presumptuous
confidence? Never; but always of scepticism and doubt. I do not mean
to say there is not such a sin as presumptuous confidence; I am sure
there is; but that is never called tempting God. The Israelites were
guilty of this sin, when they went up contrary to the command of God
to fight their enemies, after he had pronounced upon them the forty
years wandering in the wilderness.
I think that rightly understanding this is a matter of no small
moment; for many are affrighted, and made sad in the ways of the Lord
by the erroneous application of this Scripture; for to whom does the
Church and the world alike now apply this term? Why, if they hear of a
man selling his property, and becoming poor, like Barnabas, according
to the exhortation of the apostles, and the _example of our Lord_, he
is considered as tempting God by all according to the degree in which
they wish to keep all or part of their own property. Again, if he
exposes himself to dangers he might avoid, troubles he might escape,
for what he believes the Lord's service, far from receiving any
comfort or encouragement, he is again accused of tempting God. But
tempting God is the deadly sin of an unregenerate mind, and is never
charged on any saint, either in the Old or New Testament, that I
recollect. Certainly, Peter did not tempt Christ, when he said, "If
thou be he, bid me come unto thee on the water;" for he did not doubt
our Lord's power; yet there was a measure of false confidence in
himself, as well as of unbelief; but these are compatible with the
holiest affections as a state. Tempting God belongs to the family of
the tempter, and is a part of no child of God at any time. After his
conversion, Peter asked a miracle of Christ; but it was in faith,
however weak. When the sceptical Sadducees and the Pharisees, sought a
sign it was to try him, can he do it? Therefore he said, Why tempt ye
me, ye hypocrites? shewing it was a sin to tempt him as well as it was
a sin to tempt his Father.
I feel now that I had been led to expect a greater measure of freedom
from the troubles which fall on the people, in the midst of which I
find myself, than the dispensation under which I live warranted; I do
not mean from those which spring directly out of the Lord's service,
but those natural and national evils which God sends as judgments on
the ungodly. This error arose from considering the temporal promises
of the 91st Psalm, and other similar ones in multitudes of places, as
the legitimate objects of faith: whereas I have been now led to see
that they, like the curses, are but typical representations of that
kingdom in which the saints of the Lord shall rejoice and be safe when
his enemies are swept away as the chaff of the summer threshing floor.
Yet even now, spiritually they are all ours. Not a hair of our head
shall fall to the ground without our heavenly Father's permission.
Therefore I feel these thoughts ought neither to trouble us, nor any
more prevent our hand undertaking for Christ any service, than if a
greater exemption was promised; for we know that whatever is allowed
to befall us, whether natural or spiritual, if Christ is ours and we
are his, they shall only so operate as to work out for us a far more
exceeding and eternal weight of glory; for these sufferings and trials
must be among all the things that work together for good to those who
love Christ.
_July 28._ _Thursday._--Up to this time the shells and balls of the
besiegers have done us no harm. Two shells have passed just over us.
The one fell on the roof of the house of an Arab family at a little
distance from us, who were all asleep, and on bursting killed three:
one cannon ball has just passed over us, besides musket balls
innumerable, only two of which, however, I have felt so near as to
endanger us. The one just passed by me and struck the wall, the other,
by bending my head, passed just over me: yet dangerous as it seems in
such circumstances to sleep on the roof, the suffocating heat of the
rooms is insupportable. I recollect Mr. Wolff, when here, mentions it
as so hot that he could not write his journal, and indeed such is the
heat, that one unaccustomed to it feels almost perfectly unfitted for
any laborious service either of mind or body, but particularly the
former, for at least my own experience is, that the body is much less
affected by it than the mind.
Famine is making its destructive way here among the poor. All the
necessaries of life are raised from four to six times their usual
price, and often are not to be obtained at all, and in addition there
is no labour going on in the city: every shop is closed, and every
one's concern is to take care of his life or property. They are
constantly killing persons in the streets, without the least inquiry
being made after the perpetrators; nay, they are publicly and
notoriously known, and no one regards it. Nothing can exceed the
misery and fear that pervades the city. Yet amidst all these
perplexities and troubles, the Lord reigns, and without him they can
do nothing.
_July 31._ _Lord's day._--A day that always dawns with sweet peace on
my soul: I seem more especially to bring before my mind those with
whom I think I took sweet counsel, and went to the house of God in
company; and though now deprived of all that the heart can desire from
holy fellowship on earth, there is something that brings me near those
I love, when I think on their places of assembly, and their times of
prayer. Though my dear Lord has broken my heart in pieces, and his
hand is still resting on me in the person of my dear little dying
baby, whose love and preference for the little care I know how to
show, renders it one of those exquisitely painful trials, that the
feelings know not how to obey the Lord in, when the spiritual judgment
is brought quite down. Yet I can never help feeling it to be a mercy
eternally to be thankful for, that the sense of my Father's love and
Saviour's sympathy has never been taken from me amidst all my trials;
nay, I do feel that the Lord is fitting me, by suffering and
separation, for the work to which he has called me; he leaves me
without a home, or the desire of one, and in that way prepares me for
situations, which, during the life-time of my dearest Mary, would have
been deeply trying. I bless God for the fourteen years uninterrupted
domestic happiness we enjoyed together, above all, for the seven years
spiritual communion in a common gracious Lord, who led us in unity of
faith and spirit to that work from which he has taken her so early to
himself, and from which, when the Lord dismisses me, I trust to ascend
and sing the song of Moses and the Lamb with her for ever and ever. My
great want is, more of Christ, more of his whole character; this I
purpose, by the Spirit's help, more to meditate on, that all that
hateful concern about self, that pollutes all I do, may be absorbed in
one only thought of how he may be glorified. What I feel I want, is
more holiness of spirit. I know the Lord is fitting me for his holy
presence, and that he is the chief desire of my soul; yet, oh! the
weakness of faith, the coldness of communion, the reserves of
dedication. Oh, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!
A Mohammedan has been with me to-day, who is much alarmed at the
state of the city, and wants to fly, but sees not now any opening.
He told me, it was not this or that Pasha he cared about; but his
property, his life, and the females of his family. Oh, what a relief
to know, that my dear Mary is with her Lord; how light this makes my
present trials. Yesterday they were fighting from before sun-rise till
the afternoon, but could not effect an entrance into the city. The
Lord preserves us all in simple dependence on himself.
_August 2._ _Wednesday._--Accounts have arrived from the Hajjaj (Mecca
and Medina, &c.) stating the mortality from plague and cholera to be
most tremendous; many families that left this place on pilgrimage to
escape the troubles, in the midst of which we have so long been, have,
as we hear, suffered dreadfully. Thus God seems in wrath, making bare
his holy arm against this wretched nation in all its length and
breadth. My heart sometimes trembles for the dear brethren at Aleppo,
lest at the conclusion of the hot season it should break out there. My
only resource is God. The poor people here are beginning to sell their
little all to buy bread, and in consequence of the badness and
scarcity of provisions, dysentery is spreading its ravages in every
direction, as well as fever.
I have had with me to-day the translator to the late French Bishop,
and two or three Roman Catholic merchants, all overwhelmed with fear.
They say, the Sultan, on hearing of the death of the Pasha of Mosul,
and the Vaivode of Merdin, has written to the Pasha of Aleppo, to
spare neither man, woman, nor child in the city; but to let the very
name of Bagdad be swept from his dominions. Though this is not
altogether unlike the Sultan, I rather think it the report of those
within the city, to make the inhabitants dread delivering it up into
the hands of those without. How blessed a portion is ours, in the
midst of all these perplexities, to stay ourselves on our God, and to
confide in the sympathizing love of our Lord, who, worthless and vile
as we are, will not overlook us; but for his name's sake, will take
care of the very hairs of our heads, either in life or death. Amidst
it all, what chiefly troubles me is, that I love my Father and my Lord
so little, and that although there is not an object in the world, but
his service and glory, for which I would desire to live; yet that,
notwithstanding this I live so little for it. Three months have now
passed since my dearest Mary has entered into her rest, which I have
spent mostly in the sorrowful nursing of my poor dear sinking babe,
and though her love and preference repays a hundred-fold all the
trial, yet it pierces, while it pleases the heart, to see that
connection so soon must cease. I often wonder at my strange
indifference to my situation, which, but for my dear children, I think
would be greater. I am afraid to think it is the fruit of faith I
feel, in every other respect so weak; it seems more like the physical
insensibility of one who is without a stake in what is passing. Oh,
may my dear Lord, in every earthly tie he breaks, bind my poor soul
doubly strong to himself for eternity, and to his service while here.
_Aug. 3._--Some of the principal Christian families sent to me to-day,
to request me to subscribe for guards to our quarter of the city, so
that every night we might have about 40 on guard. This I saw my way
clear in declining, believing that for Christ's servants the sword is
not a lawful defence; whatever it may be the Lord's holy will I
suffer, let it not be in acting against my convictions of his holy and
blessed will, for though I feel as a sheep in the midst of wolves, the
Lord does not allow my heart to be disturbed with any sense of
personal insecurity. How beautifully all our blessed Lord's precepts
hang together, and fit the one the other; if your consent to follow
him in his poverty as he has commanded, you have little to fear in
following his other commands of non-resistance: if you accept not the
first, you will not accept the second, except in such circumstances as
expose you to perhaps little comparative danger. May the Lord make me
willing, whatever it costs, to learn all his will, and give me grace
to love it. I have heard such instances to-day of hateful and
abominable oppression and wickedness against the poor Christians, by
the followers of those who have the name of rulers within the city,
that my heart aches, and my soul loathes the place. But what can we
expect, when these very persons robbed last night the house of Saleh
Beg, himself from whom they receive their pay.
A little butter and some sheep have been brought into the city; but
they ask so enormous a price, that they have not yet been bought.
I was struck with the quickness with which the mind apprehends the
simple truth of God when unprejudiced by interest. I have, without
even speaking contemptuously to the Christians of their fasting, taken
various opportunities of expressing the liberty of a Christian to fast
in such a way, and at such times, as he believes most conducive to his
soul's advantage; and have pointed out to them, that to lay the stress
on it they do, was quite perverting the very end and design of
fasting; for that they are manifestly less afraid of violating
Christ's commands than their own regulations, which, as they used
them, were purely human. To-day, a question arose between two of them
in my presence, about their fasts; and the one stated as clearly as
could be wished, the uselessness of burthening their consciences about
eating a little butter instead of oil, or such like, instead of
seeking to flee from their lies, and drunkenness, and robbery, and
cheating. There seems to me such a glorious moral power in God's word,
that my heart never doubts of its producing marked effects, where it
can be clearly and fully delivered; but, oh, the language, what a
mountainous barrier!
Last night, whilst lying on my bed, on the roof of my house, five
balls passed over my head in about as many seconds, so close, that I
threw myself off in expectation that the next might hit it or me; at
times I almost determined to go down, but the danger of being shot did
not appear so dreadful as the suffocating heat down stairs.