COMMON USAGES OF SOCIETY.
The respect in which trade is held by the Muslim greatly tends to
enlarge the circle of his acquaintance with persons of different ranks;
and freedom of intercourse with his fellow-men is further and very
greatly promoted by the law of the separation of the sexes, as it
enables him to associate with others, regardless of difference of wealth
or station, without the risk of occasioning unequal matrimonial
connections. The women, like the men, enjoy extensive intercourse with
persons of their own sex.
The Muslims are extremely formal and regular in their social manners;
though generally very easy in their demeanour, and free in their
conversation. Several of their most common usages are founded upon
precepts of their religion, and distinguish them in society from all
other people. Among these is their custom of greeting each other with
the salutation of “Peace be on you!” to which the proper and general
reply is, “On you be peace, and the mercy of God, and His
blessings!”[318] This salutation is never to be addressed by a Muslim to
a person whom he knows to be of another religion;[319] nor _vice
versâ_.[320] The giving it, by one Muslim to another, is a duty; but one
that may be omitted without sin: the returning it is absolutely
obligatory: the former is a “sunneh” ordinance; and the latter, “fard.”
Should a Muslim, however, thus salute, by mistake, a person not of the
same faith, the latter should not return it; and the former, on
discovering his mistake, generally revokes his salutation: so also he
sometimes does if a Muslim refuse to return his salutation; usually
saying, “Peace be on _us_, and on [all] the righteous worshippers of
God.”
The chief rules respecting salutation, as dictated by the Prophet, and
generally observed by modern Muslims, are as follow.—The person riding
should first salute him who is on foot; and he who passes by, the person
or persons who are sitting down or standing still; and a small party, or
one of such a party, should give the salutation to a large party; and
the young, to the aged.[321] As it is sufficient for one party to
_give_, so is it also for one only to _return_, the salutation. It is
required, too, that a Muslim, when he enters a house, should salute the
people of that house; and that he should do the same when he leaves it.
He should always salute first, and then talk.—But, to the above rules,
there are some exceptions. For instance, in a crowded city, it is not
necessary (indeed it is hardly possible) to salute many of those whom
one may pass; nor on a road where one meets numerous passengers. Yet it
is usual for a wealthy or well-dressed person, or a venerable sheykh, or
any person of distinction, to salute another who appears to be a man of
rank, wealth, or learning, even in a crowded street. Among polite
people, it is customary for him who gives or returns the salutation to
place his right hand upon his breast at the same time; or to touch his
lips, and then his forehead, or turban, with the same hand. This action
is called “teymeeneh.” The latter mode of teymeeneh, which is the more
respectful, is often performed to a person of superior rank, not only at
first, with the selám (or salutation of “Peace be on you!”), but also
frequently during a conversation, and in the latter case without the
selám.
A person of the lower orders, on approaching a superior, particularly if
the latter be a Turk, does not always give the selám, but only performs
this teymeeneh; and he shows his respect to a man of high rank by
bending down his hand to the ground, and then putting it to his lips and
forehead, without pronouncing the selám. It is a common custom, also,
for a man to kiss the hand of a superior (generally on the back only,
but sometimes on the back and front), and then to put it to his
forehead, in order to pay him particular respect: but in most cases the
latter does not allow this; and only touches the hand that is extended
towards his: the other person, then, merely puts his own hand to his
lips and forehead. To testify abject submission, in craving pardon for
an offence, or interceding for another person, or begging any favour of
a superior, not unfrequently the feet are kissed instead of the hand.
The son kisses the hand of the father; the wife, that of her husband;
and the slave, and often the free servant, that of the master. The
slaves and servants of a grandee kiss their lord’s sleeve, or the skirt
of his clothing.
When particular friends salute each other, they join their right hands,
and then each kisses his own hand, or puts it to his lips and forehead,
or raises it to his forehead only; or merely places it on his breast,
without kissing it: if after a long absence, and on some other
occasions, they embrace each other; each falling upon the other’s neck,
and kissing him on the right side of the face or neck, and then on the
left. Another mode of salutation is very commonly practised among the
lower orders, when two friends or acquaintances meet after a journey:
joining their right hands, each of them compliments the other on his
safety, and expresses his wishes for his welfare, by repeating,
alternately, many times, the words “selámát” and “teiyibeen:”[322] in
commencing this ceremony, which is often continued for nearly a minute
before they proceed to make any particular inquiries, they join their
hands in the same manner as is usually practised by us; and at each
alternation of the two expressions above mentioned, they change the
position of the hands: in repeating the second word, each of the two
persons turns his fingers over the thumb of the other; and in repeating
the first word again, the former position is resumed.
In polite society, various other formal salutations and compliments
follow the selám. To most of these there are particular replies; or two
or more different forms of reply may be used in some cases; but to
return any that custom has not prescribed would be considered as a proof
of ignorance or vulgarity. When a person asks his friend, “How is your
health?” the latter replies, “Praise be to God!” and it is only by the
tone of voice in which he makes this answer, that the inquirer can infer
whether he be well or ill. When one greets the other with “Teiyibeen,”
the usual reply is, “God bless thee,” or “God preserve thee.” A friend
or acquaintance, on meeting another whom he has not seen for several
days, or for a longer period, generally says, after the selám, “Thou
hast made us desolate [by thy absence from us];” and is usually
answered, “May God not make [us] desolate by thy absence.”—The ordinary
set compliments in use in Egyptian society are so numerous, that a dozen
pages of this work would not suffice for the mention of those which may
be heard almost every day.
When a person goes to the house of another, to pay a visit, or for any
other purpose, he never enters unawares; for this is expressly forbidden
by the Kur-án:[323] and particularly if he have to ascend to an upper
apartment; in which case he should call out for permission, or announce
his approach, as he goes upstairs, in the manner which I have had
occasion to describe in a former chapter.[324] Should he find no person
below, he generally claps his hands, at the door, or in the court; and
waits for a servant to come down to him; or for permission to be given
him to seat himself in a lower apartment, or to ascend to an upper room.
On entering the room in which the master of the house is seated, he
gives the selám. The master returns the salutation; and welcomes the
visitor with courteousness and affability. To his superiors,[325] and
generally to his equals, he rises. Persons more or less above him in
rank he proceeds to meet in the court, or between the court and the
room, or at the entrance of the room, or in the middle of the room, or a
step from the place where he was sitting: but often, to equals, he
merely makes a slight motion, as if about to rise; and to most
inferiors, he remains undisturbed. To his superiors, and often to his
equals, he yields the most honourable place, which is a corner of the
deewán: it is that corner which is to the right of a person facing the
upper end of the room. This end of the room is called the “sadr;” and
the whole of the seat which extends along it is more honourable than
those which extend along the sides; each of which is called “gemb.”
Visitors inferior in rank to the master of the house never seat
themselves at the upper end, unless invited to do so by him; and when so
invited, they often decline the offered honour. His equals sit at their
ease, cross-legged, or with one knee raised; and recline against the
cushions: his inferiors (first, at least) often sit upon their heels; or
take their place upon the edge of the deewán; or, if very much beneath
him in grade, seat themselves upon the mat or carpet. In strict
etiquette, the visitor should not, at first, suffer his hands to appear,
when entering the room, or when seated; but should let the sleeves fall
over them; and when he has taken his place on the deewán, he should not
stretch out his legs, nor even allow his feet to be seen: but these
rules are not often attended to, excepting in the houses of the great.
Various formal compliments and salutations are given and returned after
the selám; and some of them, particularly the expressions of “teiyibeen”
and “eysh hál’kum,” are repeated several times during the same
interview.
Sometimes the visitor’s own servant attends him with his pipe: the
former takes his tobacco-purse out of his bosom, and gives it to the
servant, who folds it up and returns it after having filled the pipe, or
after the termination of the visit: otherwise, a servant of the host
brings a pipe for the visitor, and one for his master; and next, a cup
of coffee is presented to each;[326] for “tobacco without coffee,” say
the Arabs, “is like meat without salt.” On receiving the pipe and the
coffee, the visitor salutes the master of the house with the teymeeneh,
which the latter returns; and the same is done on returning the cup to
the servant. The master of the house also salutes his guest in the same
manner, if the latter be not much beneath him in rank, on receiving and
returning his own cup of coffee. Servants often remain in the room
during the whole period of a visit, stationed at the lower end, in a
respectful attitude, with their hands joined (the left within the
right), and held before the girdle. The usual mode of summoning a
servant or other attendant who is not present is by clapping the hands,
striking the palm of the left hand with the fingers of the right: the
windows being of open lattice-work, the sound is heard throughout the
house.—The subjects of conversation are generally the news of the day,
the state of trade, the prices of provisions, and sometimes religion and
science. Facetious stories are often related; and, very frequently,
persons in the best society tell tales, and quote proverbs, of the most
indecent nature. In good society, people seldom talk of each other’s
hareems; but intimate friends, and many persons who do not strictly
observe the rules of good breeding, very often do so, and in a manner
not always delicate. Genteel people inquire respecting each other’s
“houses,” to ascertain whether their wives and families are well.—Visits
not unfrequently occupy several hours; and sometimes (especially those
of hareems), nearly a whole day. The pipes are replenished, or replaced
by others, as often as is necessary: for, however long a visitor may
stay, he generally continues smoking during the whole time; and
sometimes coffee is brought again, or sherbet. The manner in which the
coffee and sherbet are served has been before described. A person
receives the same compliment after drinking a glass of sherbet as after
taking a draught of water,[327] and replies to it in the same manner.
In the houses of the rich, it used to be a common custom to sprinkle the
guest, before he rose to take his leave, with rose-water or
orange-flower-water; and to perfume him with the smoke of some
odoriferous substance; but of late years this practice has become
unfrequent. The scent-bottle, which is called “kumkum,” is of plain or
gilt silver, or fine brass, or china, or glass; and has a cover pierced
with a small hole. The perfuming-vessel, or “mibkhar′ah,” is generally
of one or the other of the metals above mentioned: the receptacle for
the burning charcoal is lined, or half filled, with gypsum-plaster; and
its cover is pierced with apertures for the emission of the smoke. The
mibkhar′ah is used last: it is presented by a servant to the visitor or
master, who wafts the smoke towards his face, beard, etc., with his
right hand. Sometimes it is opened, to emit the smoke more freely. The
substance most commonly used in the mibkhar′ah is aloes-wood, or
benzoin, or cascarilla-bark. The wood is moistened before it is placed
upon the burning coals. Ambergris is also used for the same purpose; but
very rarely, and only in the houses of persons of great wealth, as it is
extremely costly. As soon as the visitor has been perfumed, he takes his
leave; but he should not depart without previously asking permission to
do so, and then giving the selám, which is returned to him, and paying
other set compliments, to which there are appropriate replies. If he be
a person of much higher rank than the master of the house, the latter
not only rises, but also accompanies him to the top of the stairs, or to
the door of the room, and then commends him to the care of God.
[Illustration: KUMKUM AND MIBKHAR’AH.—Each is about eight inches high.]
It is usual for a person, after paying a visit of ceremony, and on some
other occasions, previously to his leaving the house, to give a small
present (two or three piasters, or more, according to circumstances) to
one, or to several, of the servants: and if his horse or mule or ass be
waiting for him at the door, or in the court, one of the servants goes
with him to adjust his dress when he mounts: this officious person
particularly expects a present. When money is thus given to a man’s
servants, it is considered incumbent upon their master to do exactly the
same when he returns the visit.
Friends very often send presents to each other, merely for the sake of
complying with common custom. When a person celebrates any private
festivity, he generally receives presents from most of his friends; and
it is a universal rule that he should repay the donor by a similar gift,
or one of the same value, on a similar occasion. It is common for the
receiver of a present, on such an event, even to express to the giver
his hope that he may have to repay it on the occasion of a like
festivity. An acknowledgment accompanied by such an allusion to the
acquitment of the obligation imposed by the gift, which would be
offensive to a generous European, is, in this country, esteemed polite.
The present is generally wrapped in an embroidered handkerchief, which
is returned, with a trifling pecuniary gratification, to the bearer.
Fruit, laid upon leaves, and sweetmeats and other dainties, placed in a
dish or on a tray, and covered with a rich handkerchief or napkin, are
common presents. Very frequently, a present is given by a person to a
superior with a view of obtaining something more valuable in return.
This is often done by a servant to his master; and the gift is seldom
refused; but often paid for immediately in money, more than equivalent.
It is generally with the expectation above mentioned than an Arab gives
a present to a European. The custom of giving money to the servants of a
friend, after paying him a visit, is not now so common as it was a few
years since; but it is still observed by most persons on the occasion of
a visit of ceremony; and particularly on the two ’eeds, or religious
festivals, and by the guests at private festivities. Other customs of a
similar nature, which are observed at these festivities, will be
described in a subsequent chapter. To decline the acceptance of a
present generally gives offence; and is considered as reflecting
disgrace upon the person who has offered it.
There are many formal usages which are observed in Egypt, not merely on
the occasions of ceremonious visits, or in the company of strangers, or
at the casual meetings of friends, but also in the ordinary intercourse
of familiar acquaintances. When a man happens to sneeze, he says,
“Praise be to God!” Each person present (servants generally excepted)
then says to him, “God have mercy on you!” to which the former generally
replies, “God guide us and guide you!” or he returns the compliment in
words of a similar purport. Should he yawn, he puts the back of his left
hand to his mouth, and then says, “I seek refuge with God from Satan the
accursed!” but he is not complimented on this act; as it is one which
should rather be avoided: for it is believed that the devil is in the
habit of leaping into a gaping mouth. For a breach of good manners, it
is more common to ask the pardon of God, than that of the present
company, by saying, “I beg pardon of God, the Great!” When a man has
just been shaved, or been to the bath, when he has just performed the
ablution preparatory to prayer, when he has been saying his prayers, or
doing any other meritorious act, when he has just risen from sleep, when
he has purchased or put on any new article of dress, and on many other
occasions, there are particular compliments to be paid to him, and
particular replies for him to make.
It is a rule with the Muslims to honour the right hand and foot above
the left: to use the right hand for all honourable purposes; and the
left, for actions which, though necessary, are unclean: to put on and
take off the right shoe before the left; and to put the right foot first
over the threshold of a door.
The Egyptians are extremely courteous to each other, and have a peculiar
grace and dignity in their manner of salutation and their general
demeanour, combined with easiness of address, which seem natural to
them, being observable even in the peasants. The middle and higher
classes of townspeople pride themselves upon their politeness and
elegance of manners, and their wit, and fluency of speech; and with some
justice: but they are not less free in their conversation than their
less accomplished fellow-countrymen. Affability is a general
characteristic of the Egyptians of all classes. It is common for
strangers, even in a shop, after mutual salutation, to enter into
conversation with each other with as much freedom as if they were old
acquaintances; and for one who has a pipe to offer it to another who has
none; and it is not unusual, nor is it generally considered unpolite,
for persons in a first, casual meeting, to ask each other’s names,
professions or trades, and places of abode. Lasting acquaintances are
often formed on such occasions.[328] In the middle and higher ranks of
Egyptian society, it is very seldom that a man is heard to say anything
offensive to the feelings of another in his company; and the most
profligate never venture to utter an expression meant to cast ridicule
upon sincere religion: most persons, however, in every class, are
otherwise more or less licentious in their conversation, and extremely
fond of joking. They are generally very lively and dramatic in their
talk; but scarcely ever noisy in their mirth. They seldom indulge in
loud laughter; expressing their enjoyment of anything ludicrous by a
smile or an exclamation.
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Footnote 318:
“’Aleykumu-s selámu wa-rahmatu-lláhi wa-barakátuh,” or merely
“’Aleykum es-selám” (On you be peace!); but the longer salutation is
more commonly used, in accordance with an injunction in the Kur-án,
chap. iv., ver. 88.
Footnote 319:
Very few Muslims in Egypt do so. A European traveller, not disguised
by Turkish dress, often fancies that he is greeted with this
salutation, when it is really intended for his Muslim attendant.
Footnote 320:
A Muslim, however, when he receives this salutation from a person of
another religion, sometimes replies, “And on you” (Wa-’aleykum).
Footnote 321:
Herodotus speaks of the respect paid in Egypt to the aged, and of the
polite salutations of the Egyptians to each other. (Lib. ii., cap.
80.)
Footnote 322:
Meaning, “I congratulate you on your safety,” and “I hope you are
well.”
Footnote 323:
Chap. xxiv., ver. 27.
Footnote 324:
Chap. vi., p. 162.
Footnote 325:
That is, to those who are above him either in office, wealth, or
religious or literary reputation.
Footnote 326:
The visitor, if superior, or not much inferior in rank to the master
of the house, receives his pipe and coffee before the latter.
Footnote 327:
Mentioned in Chap. v., p. 136.
Footnote 328:
Acquaintances, and even strangers, often address each other as
relations, by the terms “Father,” “Son,” “Paternal uncle,” “Son of my
paternal uncle,” “Brother,” “Mother,” “Daughter,” “Maternal aunt,”
“Daughter of my maternal aunt,” “Sister,” etc.
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