The Long Vacation is drawing to a close, and parents and guardians may
like to know how reading tours have aided in advancing the education
of their respective scions. Should any doting fathers be interested
in the absorption of foreign languages into their sons' systems,
the following mems from the diary of a University man, who has just
returned from a tour abroad, whither he had gone expressly to perfect
himself in European tongues, may be productive of some reflection.
_July._
Left Dover for our tour. Met American Colonel X. Y. Zachary at Calais.
Glorious brick. Knew French, and talked for us all. Gave us quite a
twang, and left us devoted to Yankees.
Put up at Grand Hotel. English waiter. Saved us lots of trouble. Went
to English tavern. Excellent beefsteak for dinner. Cheese direct from
Cheshire. Went to open-air music hall in the Shongs Eliza, what they
call a coffee concert. Two English clowns and a man who sang "_Tommy,
make Room for your Uncle._" English family on both sides of us.
Dropped their H's freely. Met two college chums in the yard of the
Grand when we came back.
Went out to buy German Dictionary, French Grammar, and Italian
Dialogues. Bought a copy of _Punch_ instead--great fun.
Started for Italy. Capital guard with the train: knew English
thoroughly. Queen's messenger in the carriage; splendid linguist.
What's the use of trying to speak a foreign language, if you don't
begin in your cradle!
Arrived at Turin. Met the Larkspur girls at the station. Went
everywhere with them. They are all awfully jolly. Quite gorgeous at
slang. Must buy that Italian Grammar and Dialogues. Learnt the Italian
for "Yes" to-day.
On to Venice. How well our gondolier talks English. Lovely weather for
cricket or lawn tennis. Nothing so jolly here. Old bricks, and dirty
punts they call gondowlers.
_August._
Start for Rome. Fancy a Roman train. What was it? All Gaul, or all the
train, was divided _in tres partes_. Sang comic songs all the
way. Bother Rome! it reminds one of Virgil and Horace, and all those
nuisances. By the way, we must not forget the Italian Dialogues. Hotel
commissioner, such a good fellow. Has lived in the Langham for the
last six years. Told us a capital American story. Left the others to
go round the monuments while I played a game of billiards with Captain
Crawley. By Jingo! he does play well. _He_ never learnt Italian or
French, but I have heard he is a Greek. Speaks English like a Briton.
Meant to have begun Italian to-day; but too hot, really. Go back by
Vienna and Trieste. Better buy a German Dictionary. Charlie's voice
downstairs, by Jove! Hurrah! Off to Vienna. Go over the Tyrol by
night. Sleep all the way.
Vienna. Awfully good beer. English parson in same hotel. Knows the
governor. Wants me to take him round, and as he hears I am studying
German, will I interpret for him? See him further first.
_September._
Leave Vienna, to escape parson. The German tongue most attractive
when made into sausages. Lingo simply horrible. Couldn't learn it if I
tried.
Arrived at Munich. Drove round the English Garden. Nothing English in
it except weeds and ourselves. Saw _Richard the Third_ played at the
theatre. Call that Shakspeare? Well! I am particularly etcetrad. And
in German, too! Why don't they learn English?
Home in time for some partridges. By the way, wonder what became
of the "coach" who went out with me? Never bought the grammars and
dictionaries, after all. There's nothing like English if you want to
be understood.
* * *
AT BADEN-BADEN.--_Captain Rook._ Yes, my dear sir, although they
have closed the Public Tables, still, if you really want a little
amusement, I think I can introduce you to a very good set indeed.
Where they play low, you know--only to pass the time.
_Young Mr. Pidgeon._ Oh, thank you. I should like it very much indeed.
But I am giving you a great deal of trouble?
_Captain Rook._ Not at all!
[Illustration: AT BULLONG
_Paterfamilias_ (_who_ WILL _do the parleyvooing himself
instead of leaving it to his daughters_). "Oh--er--j'ai bezwang d'oon
bootail de--de--de----Here, you girls! what's the French for _eau de
Cologne?_"]
A CORRESPONDENT reports the following advertisement, written in chalk
on the box of a Swiss shoeblack:--
"ENGLISH SPOKEN. AMERICAN
UNDERSTOOD."
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