Intending English visitors to Spa, who may wish to become,
temporarily, members of the _Cercle des Étrangers_, will be pleased
with the following courteous circular:--
"_Casino de Spa, Cercle des Étrangers._
"M.,--In polite replying of your esteemed letter of the ---- I will
hasten to send you a statute of the 'Cercle des Étrangers' with a
formulary at this annexed.
"Please to send us the formulary back, as soon as possible, the
formalities for the reception as member wanting two days time.
"We dare inform you that only those persons are allowed to go into
the drawing-rooms of the Casino, which previously have fulfilled the
prescribed formalities of admittance.
"With the greatest respects
"In order of the directorship of the Casino
"THE CHIEF SECRETARY."
"_Casino de Spa, Cercle des Étrangers._"
"Under-signed, having been acquainted with the statutes of the 'Cercle
des Étrangers,' wishes to fulfill the prescribed formalities in order
to have inlet and therefore gives following indications:"
(_Space for particulars as to name, forename, title, or trade, "spot
and datum," with signature, here follows; and so this most interesting
document concludes._)
* * *
QUANTITY NOT QUALITY.--_Brown, senior._ Well, Fred, what did you see
during your trip abroad?
_Brown, junior._--Aw--'pon m' word, 'don't know what I saw 'xactly,
'only know I did more by three countries, eight towns, and four
mountains, than Smith did in the same time!
* * *
THE LOVE OF NATURE.--_First Chappie._ Lovely place, Monte Carlo, isn't
it! Such beautiful scenery!
_Second Chappie._ Beautiful!--such splendid air, too!
_First Chappie._ Splendid!--a--(_pause_)--let's go into the casino!
[_Exeunt to the tables, where they remain for the rest of the
day._
[Illustration: SCENE--_Bureau of the Chiefs of the Douanes_
_French Official._ "You have passport?"
_English Gent._ "Nong, mossoo."
_Official._ "Your name."
_Gent._ "Belleville."
_Official._ "Christian nom?"
_Gent._ "'Arry!"
_Official._ "Profession?"
_Gent._ "BANKER!"]
[Illustration: ON THE RIVIERA
_She._ "I wonder what makes the Mediterranean look so blue?"
_He._ "You'd look blue if you had to wash the shores of Italy!"]
[Illustration: SCENE--_A Café in Paris_
_London Gent._ "Garcong! tas de corfee!"
_Garçon._ "Bien, m'sieu'--Vould you like to see zee _Times?_"
_London Gent._ "Hang the feller! Now, I wonder how the doose he found
out I was an Englishman!"]
[Illustration: THE TIME-HONOURED BRITISH THREAT
_Indignant Anglo-Saxon_ (_to provincial French innkeeper, who is
bowing his thanks for the final settlement of his exorbitant and
much-disputed account_). "Oh, oui, mossoo! pour le matière de ça,
je _paye!_ Mais juste vous regardez ici, mon ami! et
juste--vous--marquez--mes--_mots!_ Je _paye_--_mais je mette le dans
la 'Times!_'"]