The first paragraph of the Shulchan-aruch runs thus: “‘I have set the
Lord always before me’ is one of the most important principles of our
holy Religion;” and, indeed, the more the actions of the Jew conform to
this principle, the nearer does he approach the ideal of a true servant
of God, who is faithful in the service of his Master, and whose life is
the expression of genuine recognition of God’s sovereignty (קבלת עול
מלכות שמים) with unconditional obedience to His Will (קבלת עול
מצות). Neither attendance at Public Service, nor the regular
recitation of prayers, nor the study of the Law, nor the performance of
certain religious acts, constitute by themselves Jewish Life, but the
supreme influence which the Word of God—the Torah—is constantly made to
exercise over man’s doings. Every movement of his is regulated by the
Law, and wherever he turns he is met by a Divine precept that elevates
his heart towards Him who gave us the Law. The very garments he wears,
though not different from those of his fellow-men, [173] except by the
absence of shaatnez (combination of wool and linen), include the arba
kanfoth, “the four-cornered garment,” with tsitsith; his house, the
same in every other respect as those of his neighbours, is
distinguished by the mezuzah on the doorposts. These distinctive
characteristics, however, are not intended to attract the attention of
others; they only concern the man himself; they serve him as reminders
of God and His Will. Within the house the furniture and the whole
arrangement are in accordance with the custom and fashion of the place;
[174] there is simplicity or luxury, taste or want of taste, according
to the individual character of the occupier. Only the kitchen and the
table have a distinctly Jewish aspect; these must be adapted to the
requirements of the Dietary Laws. The most striking feature is the
double set of kitchen utensils and of vessels for the table, the one
set for meat, the other for butter and milk.
In the choice of his occupation, trade, or profession, the Jew, like
all his fellow-men, is influenced by his inclination, capabilities, and
opportunities; but, in addition to these, there is another important
factor that must ultimately determine the choice—his religion; and such
occupation as would be likely to compel him to abandon any of the
Divine precepts, cannot be chosen. No manner of labour or trade is in
itself derogatory; on the contrary, all labour is honourable, unless
man degrades it by his conduct, and by the object he aims at achieving
by means of it. Thrift, economy, and temperance are essential
conditions of success. But success, however desirable, and however
sweet when obtained, leads only to the material well-being of man. As
to his spiritual well-being, the Jew, though busy with urgent work,
will try to find some spare moments in which to turn his attention to
“the three things upon which the world is based: Study of the Torah,
Divine Service, and Charity” (Aboth i. 2).
Before the work of the day commences, and when it is finished,
attention is paid to torah and abhodah. The Service, especially the
Morning Service, contains various sections which are not prayers, but
rather lessons for study. In addition to these, the Jew, according to
his capacity or opportunity, should read the Bible, the Mishnah, and
the Talmud. For those who have no opportunity at home, the Beth
ha-midrash is open with its library. Synagogue and Beth ha-midrash are
the places of spiritual recreation where the Jew refreshes his mind,
elevates his heart, and gathers new strength, courage, and hope for the
battle of life.
Charity in its various branches, tsedakah and gemiluth chasadim, is a
virtue practised by the wealthy and the poor alike. Any heart or house
from which this virtue is absent does not deserve to be called Jewish.
Some Jews have charity-boxes in their houses, and whenever any member
of the family has something to spare or is moved by a special impulse
of charity, these boxes receive an addition to their contents. Others
imitate the law of maaser (“tithe”), and set aside a tenth part of
their earnings and profits for charitable purposes. Hospitality (הכנסת
אורחים) is another method of charity, and it forms one of the
ornaments of a true Jewish house. Although societies and public
institutions do at present what was formerly considered to be the duty
of the members of the community, individual hospitality has by no means
become superfluous, and there is ample opportunity for its practice.
Hospitality graces especially the lady of the house; it is her duty to
provide for the comfort of the guests, and to act according to the
rule, “Let the poor be the children of thy house” (Aboth i. 5).
This is one of the privileges possessed by women. According to the
principle of division of labour, woman rules supreme in the house: “The
King’s daughter is all glorious within” (Ps. xlv. 14); whilst man is
more in contact with the outer world, devotes himself to labour, trade,
or profession in order to provide the necessities of life for those who
are dependent upon him. There are, however, many exceptions to the
rule, and there is scarcely any trade or profession in which women have
not been engaged. Women were not excluded even from the highest
honours. The Jews had their prophetesses, and women were entrusted with
judgeship and even with sovereignty. There are instances of women
distinguished by learning, experience, wit, and especially by piety.
Women of piety (נשים צדקניות) were never wanting in Israel; and many
a scholar owes the success he has attained in the field of learning to
the piety of his wife, who willingly undertook her husband’s burdens
and cares in trade and business in order to facilitate his devotion to
study. No sacrifice is too great for a true Jewish mother to have her
children instructed in the Word of God, and nothing adds more to the
happiness and pride of the mother than the progress her son has made in
the knowledge of the Torah. “What is the great merit of women? They
have the merit of making their children attend the school, and of
encouraging their husbands to study the Talmud” (Babyl. Talm.,
Berachoth 17a).
The moral and the intellectual as well as the physical training of the
children is in its earliest stages almost exclusively in the hands of
the mother. If we add to this the responsibility for having the food
prepared according to the requirements of the Dietary Laws, we easily
understand the reason why Jewish women are exempt from various
religious duties incumbent on the other sex. The rule is this: “Women
are exempt from the fulfilment of all precepts which are restricted to
a certain time” (Mishnah, Kiddushin i. 7), in order to prevent any
collision between these and her principal and most important duties in
the house. Thus it happens that there are Jewish women who faithfully
cling to the inherited religion, and yet are rare visitors of the
Synagogue. On week-days the Synagogue is only in exceptional cases
attended by women.
From this reason women are disqualified for forming the quorum (minyan)
required for public worship (tefillah batsibbur). This and similar
disqualifications are based on the principle of regard for women and
their home-duties, and by no means on a belief in their inferiority.
Passages in the Talmudical and Midrashic Literature which ascribe to
women vanity, levity, and other shortcomings are outweighed by sayings
which evidence a sense of high regard for the virtues and
accomplishments of women. The following sentences are a few examples;
“Woman has been endowed by the Creator with greater intelligence than
man” (Babyl. Talm., Niddah 45b). “Who is rich? He who possesses a wife
fair in her doings” (ibid., Shabbath 25b). “It was through the merit of
pious women that the Israelites were redeemed from Egypt” (ibid., Sotah
11b). [175] Modesty and reservedness (צניעות) are the distinguishing
virtues of Jewish women. The principle, “The daughter of the King is
all glorious within,” was applied literally. In the fulfilment of her
home-duties the daughter of Israel seeks her happiness and her pride.
It used to be opposed to the sense of propriety of Jewish ladies to
speak, sing, or act in public. [176] This צניעות was the main cause
of the preservation of the sanctity of the Jewish home and the purity
of Jewish family life, a treasure and a blessing which ought to be well
guarded.
The working days of the week are divided between labour and devotion.
Three Services are attended daily either in the Synagogue or at home,
and every meal is preceded and followed by prayer. Jewish women have,
in addition to the Prayer-book, a small volume of supplications
(תחנות) in the vernacular for every day, every season, and every
occasion.
Mondays and Thursdays, on which days a Lesson from the Law is read
during the Morning Service, are considered as special days for earnest
devotion. There have been pious Jews who fasted the whole or part of
these days.—Tuesday is looked upon as a favoured day, because it is
distinguished in the account of the Creation (Gen. i. 10, 12) by a
repetition of the phrase, “And God saw that it was good.” It is
therefore called “the day with double ki-tobh (that it was good).” This
circumstance may be the cause of the belief that it is not advisable to
begin a new undertaking on Monday or Wednesday; [177] preference should
be given to Tuesday. But this belief, although seemingly founded on a
Biblical phrase, is contrary to Jewish principles, and is included in
the prohibition, “Ye shall not observe times” (Lev. xix. 26), to
declare a particular day as lucky or unlucky.
Friday is an important and busy day in a Jewish house. It is not only
the circumstance that food is being prepared for two days [178] that
causes greater activity, but also the anticipated pleasure at the
approach of a beloved guest. The same is the case when a Festival is
near. Each Festival has its own particular wants and pleasures. In some
houses the activity in preparing for Passover may be noticed a whole
month before, although the actual clearing of the chamets is done in a
very short time. Before Succoth all hands are busy with preparing and
ornamenting the Tabernacle, and selecting esrog and lulabh. It is
genuine religious enthusiasm [179] in the fulfilment of Divine duties
that inspires this kind of activity, and gives to the house a
peculiarly Jewish tone and Jewish atmosphere. We feel in it “the season
of our joy” before and during the Three Festivals, and “the season of
solemnity and earnest reflection” during the penitential days; grief
when the 9th of Ab approaches, and hilarity when Purim is near. Twice a
year we are invited by law and custom to give ourselves up to gladness
and merriment: on Simchath-torah and on Purim. Although even a certain
excess of mirth is considered lawful on the latter occasion, there are
but very few that indulge in this license.
All the seasons of rejoicing are also occasions for mitsvoth—charity,
and for strengthening the bond of love between husband and wife,
between parents and children, and the bond of friendship between man
and man. Every erebh shabbath and erebh yom-tobh afford the opportunity
of giving challah, [180] kindling Sabbath or Festival lights, [181] and
inviting strangers [182] (הכנסת אורחים) to our meals. On Sabbaths and
Festivals children, even when grown up, come to their parents and ask
for their blessing. [183] Before Kiddush the husband chants the section
of Prov. xxxi. beginning אשת חיל, in praise of a good wife. The
Shabbath shalom or Good shabbath, Shabhua tobh or Good woch, Good yom
tobh, and similar salutations, remind us that we ought to have only
good wishes for each other. Sabbath and Festivals afford suitable
occasions for home-devotion, in which all the members of the family,
males and females, should take part. The meals are preceded and
followed by the usual berachoth, but it is customary to add extra
psalms and hymns (zemiroth) in honour of the day, and those who are
gifted should add to these, or even substitute for them, compositions
of their own in any language they like in gloriam Dei. A second kind of
home-devotion which ought not to be neglected, but should rather be
revived where it is neglected, is the reading of the Scriptures. On
Friday evening the pious Jew reads the Sidra twice in the original and
once in the Targum; but all should at least read Sidra and Haphtarah in
the vernacular.
The moon by its gradual increase in light from its minimum to
full-moon, and the subsequent decrease from full-moon to its minimum,
has in Agadic and Midrashic Literature frequently served as a symbol of
the history of Israel, of his rise and his fall. The last day of the
decline, the eve of New-moon, is kept by some as a special day of
prayer and fasting, [184] while the first day of the rise, New-moon, is
distinguished by Hallel and Musaph. If people, as a symbol of happiness
(סימן טוב), prefer the middle of the month for marriage, their choice
is harmless; but if they hold that season as more lucky than the rest
of the month, they are guilty of superstition. As at the sight of other
natural phenomena, so also has a benediction been fixed on observing
the reappearance of the moon in the beginning of the month. For the
above-mentioned reason, importance is attached to this berachah, and
prayers are added for the redemption of Israel. The berachah, which is
generally recited in the open air, is the chief element in the
ceremony; the additional prayers and reflections are non-essential.
In the foregoing, Jewish Life has been described as it appears at the
various seasons of the year; in the following, it will be given as it
appears at the various periods of man’s existence.
The first important moment is, of course, the moment of birth. The
father, friends, and relatives are filled with anxiety for the life of
both mother and child. Prayers are daily offered up for the safety and
recovery of the patient and the well-being of the child. The Twentieth
Psalm is sometimes written on a tablet placed in the room where the
confinement takes place, probably as a reminder or an invitation for
visitors to pray to the Almighty; in this sense the custom is to be
commended; but if the tablet is filled with meaningless signs, letters,
and words, and is used merely as a charm, the custom should be
discontinued, being a superstitious practice. In some parts it has been
the custom that during the week preceding the Berith-milah friends
visited the house to pray there for the well-being of the child, and
boys recited there Biblical passages containing blessings, such as Gen.
xlviii. 16. [185] The night before the berith was spent in reading
Bible and Talmud, so that the child might from the beginning breathe,
as it were, the atmosphere of torah. [186]
On the eighth day the male child is initiated into the covenant of
Abraham (Lev. xii. 3). Circumcision is one of “those mitsvoth which the
Israelites in times of religious persecution carried out
notwithstanding imminent danger to life.” The performance of this
Divine precept is therefore made the occasion of much rejoicing. In
some congregations the operation, as a sacred act, takes place in the
Synagogue after the Morning Service; in others the privacy of the home
is preferred. In ancient days mothers circumcised their sons, but now
the operation is only entrusted to a person who has been duly trained,
and has received from competent judges a certificate of his
qualification for the functions of a mohel. [187] Although, according
to the Law, any person, otherwise capable of doing it, may do the
mitsvah, preference is given, and ought to be given, to a person of
genuine piety and of true enthusiasm for our holy Religion, who
performs the act in gloriam Dei. Not only the mohel, but all who assist
in the act do a mitsvah, and the meal which is prepared for the
occasion is a סעודת מצוה (a meal involving a religious act). [188]
Immediately after the operation a name is given to the child. [189]
The next important moment in a boy’s life is the “Redemption” (פדיון
הבן) in case of the first-born male child (Exod. xiii. 13, 15), which
act is likewise made the occasion of a סעודת מצוה. A cohen
(descendant of Aaron) receives the redemption-money to the amount of
five shekels (or 15s.), according to Num. xviii. 16. [190]
In the case of a female child the naming generally takes place in the
Synagogue on a Sabbath, when the father is called up to the Law. In
many congregations this takes place when the mother has sufficiently
recovered to attend again for the first time the Service in the
Synagogue on Sabbath. Those who live at a great distance from the
Synagogue pay the first visit to the place of worship on a week-day. A
special Service has been arranged for the occasion. [191]
Great care is now taken by the parents for the physical well-being of
the child, without entirely ignoring its moral and intellectual
development. “At five years the child is fit to be taught Mikra, i.e.,
reading the Bible” (Aboth v. 21), so the Mishnah teaches. But long
before this the child is taught to pray, and to repeat short Biblical
passages or prayers in Hebrew. It must, of course, be borne in mind
that children are not all alike, and that each child must be taught
according to its own capacities and strength. The knowledge must be
imparted in such a manner that the child should seek it as a source of
pleasure and happiness.
As to the subjects which are to be taught, there is no branch of
general knowledge from which Jewish children are debarred by their
Religion, nor is there any branch of knowledge that is more Jewish than
the rest. Jewish children must learn like other children, as far as
possible, that which is considered necessary and useful, as well as
that which is conducive to the comfort and happiness of life. But
Religion, Scripture, and Hebrew must never be absent from the
curriculum of studies of a Jewish child. The instruction in Religion
need not occupy much time, for the best teaching of Religion is the
good example set by the parents at home and the teacher in the school.
The religious training of a child should begin early; the surroundings
and associations must teach the child to act nobly, to speak purely, to
think charitably, and to love our Religion. “Train up a child in the
way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it”
(Prov. xxii. 6). Early practical training (חנוך) is also of great
importance with regard to the observance of religious precepts.
Children should be accustomed to regard with reverence that which is
holy, to honour Sabbath and Festivals, and to rejoice in doing what the
Almighty has commanded. Twice a year we have special occasion for the
fulfilment of this duty, viz., on Simchath-torah and on the
Seder-evening.
In teaching our children Hebrew our aim must be to make them understand
the holy language, to enable them to read the Word of God in the
original, and to pray to the Almighty in the language in which the
Prophets and the Psalmists gave utterance to their inspirations, and in
which our forefathers addressed the Supreme Being in the Temple.
A special ceremony used to introduce the child into the study of the
Bible in the original. [192] Teacher and pupil went to the Synagogue,
took a sepher from the Hechal, and the pupil was made to read the first
lesson from the sepher. This and similar ceremonies were intended as a
means of impressing on the pupil the great importance of studying the
Word of God in the original language. After having acquired a sound
knowledge of the Bible, the study of other branches of Hebrew
literature, of Talmudical and Rabbinical works, is approached.
As a rule, boys devote more time to Hebrew studies than girls, only
because girls are considered physically more delicate and not capable
of doing so much work as boys. Girls are by no means excluded from
acquiring a sound Hebrew knowledge; on the contrary, every
encouragement should be given to them, if they are inclined to study
Hebrew beyond the first elements. [193]
The boy when thirteen years old is bar-mitsvah (lit., “a son of the
commandment”), bound to obey the Law, and responsible for his deeds. On
the Sabbath following his thirteenth birthday the boy is called up to
the Law; he reads the whole of the Sidra or a section of it, and
declares in the blessings which precede and follow the lesson his
belief in the Divine origin of the Torah, and his gratitude to God for
having given us the Law. [194]
The school-years come gradually to a close, and the practical
preparation for life begins. A vocation has to be determined upon. From
a moral and religious point of view all kinds of trade, business, and
profession are equal. They are honourable or base according as they are
carried on in an honourable manner or not. Whatever course is chosen,
the moral and religious training must continue with unabated energy.
When the school-years are over, when the youth is no longer under the
control of the master, and is sometimes left even without the control
of the parents, he is exposed to various kinds of temptation,
especially through the influence of bad society. The vices against
which the youth must guard himself most at this period of life are
sensuality, excessive desire for pleasure, gambling, and dishonesty,
which bring about his moral, social, and physical ruin. Self-control,
acquired through continued religious training, is the best safeguard
against these dangers. It is therefore advisable that those who have
left the school should continue attending some religious class, or
otherwise devote part of their free time to Talmud-torah, to the study
of the Torah, and of works relating to it.
“At the age of eighteen years one is fit for marriage” (Aboth, ibid.)
is an ancient dictum, but which could never have been meant as an
absolute law. For there are other qualifications equally important, and
even more essential than age. Maimonides (Mishneh-torah, Hil. Deoth v.
11) says: “Man should first secure a living, then prepare a residence,
and after that seek a wife. But fools act otherwise: they marry first,
then look out for a house, and at last think of the means of obtaining
a livelihood.” (Comp. Deut. xx. 5–7 and xxviii. 30.)
Marriage is called in the Bible “a divine covenant” (Prov. ii. 17), or
“the covenant of God.” God is, as it were, made witness of the
covenant; in His presence the assurances of mutual love and the
promises of mutual fidelity are given by husband and wife (Mal. ii.
14). To break this covenant is therefore not only an offence of the one
against the other, but an offence against God.—In addition to this
religious basis of marriage, conditions of a more material nature were
agreed upon. The maiden has been long of use in the house of her
parents, and he who sought the privilege of taking her to his house and
making her his wife had to give to the parents “dowry and gift” (מהר
ומתן, Gen. xxxiv. 12). Later on, in the time of the Mishnah, all that
the husband promised to his wife was made the subject of a written
document (כתובה), signed by two witnesses. In this document he
guarantees to her 200 zus (or half the sum if she is a widow), the
value of her outfit and dowry (in Hebrew נדוניא), and a certain
amount added to the afore-mentioned obligatory sum (תוספת כתובה). He
further promises to honour her, work for her, maintain her, and
honestly provide her with everything necessary for her comfort.
The marriage was preceded by the betrothal (אירוסין or קידושין),
the solemn promise on his part to take her after a fixed time to his
house as his wife, and on her part to consider herself as his wife and
to prepare herself for the marriage. Legally she was already his wife,
and infidelity was visited with capital punishment. The interval
between the betrothal and marriage used to be twelve months; at present
the two events are united in the marriage ceremony, and are only
separated from each other by an address or by the reading of the
kethubhah. That which is now called betrothal or engagement is merely a
preliminary settlement of the conditions of the marriage (תנאים
“conditions”). The conditions used to be written down, including a fine
(קנס) for breach of promise; the agreement used to be followed by the
breaking of a glass [195] and by a feast.
The actual betrothal takes place on the wedding-day, and consists
mainly of the following significant words addressed by the bridegroom
to his bride: הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו כדת משה וישראל “Behold, thou
art consecrated (betrothed) to me by this ring according to the Law of
Moses and of Israel.” While saying this he places a gold ring [196] on
the second finger of the right hand. This act is preceded by a berachah
over wine, read by the celebrant while holding a cup of wine in his
hand, and the birchath erusin (“blessing of betrothal”), in which God
is praised for the institution of Marriage. Bride and bridegroom, who
during the ceremony stand under a canopy (חופה), taste of the wine.
The canopy or chuppah [197] represents symbolically the future home of
the married couple, which they have to guard as a sanctuary, and to
render inaccessible to evil deeds, words, and thoughts that would
pollute it. The top of the canopy, which is formed of a curtain
(פרכת) of the Hechal, or of a talith, expresses the idea of sanctity.
After the birchath erusin the bridegroom makes the solemn declaration
[198] mentioned above: “Behold, thou art consecrated (betrothed) unto
me by this ring according to the Law of Moses and of Israel,” [199]
whereupon the kethubhah is read in Aramaic [200] or in English, and an
address is sometimes given. Then follow the ברכות נשואין (“Blessings
of Marriage”), called also after their number שבע ברכות “Seven
Blessings.” [201] The ceremony concludes with the breaking of a glass
and the mutual congratulations of friends and relatives, expressed in
the words Mazzal-tobh (מזל טוב “Good luck”). [202]
A banquet (סעודת נישואין) follows, which is a סעודת מצוה. It is
introduced by the usual berachah (המוציא), and followed by Grace and
the “Seven Blessings.”
The following are a few of the various customs connected with a Jewish
marriage without being essential elements of the marriage ceremony:—
(1.) On the Sabbath previous to the wedding-day the bridegroom, his
father, and the father of the bride are called up to the Law, and
offerings are made (mi shebberach) in honour of the bride and the
bridegroom. In some congregations Gen. xxiv. is read after the Service,
on the morning of the wedding-day.
(2.) Bride and bridegroom enter upon a new life; the wedding-day is to
them a day of rejoicing, but also a day of great solemnity. It is kept
as a day of earnest reflections, of prayer and fasting, till after the
ceremony, when the fast is broken and the rejoicing begins. The
bridegroom adds in the Minchah amidah the Confession (ודוי) of the
Day of Atonement.
(3.) The good wishes of friends and relatives are variously expressed.
Rice, wheat, or similar things are thrown over the bride and the
bridegroom as a symbol of abundance and fruitfulness.
(4.) The feast is accompanied by speeches in praise of the bride and
bridegroom; it was considered a special merit to speak on such an
occasion (אגרא דהלולא מילי, Babyl. Talm., Berachoth 6b). The
bridegroom used to give a discourse (דרשה) on some Talmudical theme,
if he was able to do so. He received presents for it
(derashah-presents).
(5.) In the time of the Bible and the Talmud the feasting lasted seven
days.—The first day after the wedding used to be distinguished by a
fish dinner (סעודת דגים), in allusion to Gen. xlviii. 16.
In spite of all blessings and good wishes the marriage sometimes proves
a failure, husband and wife being a source of trouble and misery the
one to the other, instead of being the cause of each other’s happiness.
In such a case a divorce may take place, and man and wife separate from
each other. Divorce is permitted (Deut. xxiv. 1–4), but not encouraged;
it is an evil, but the lesser of two evils. A written document was
required (ספר כריתות, גט), and later legislation made the writing
and the delivery of the document difficult and protracted, in order to
facilitate attempts at reconciliation; the fulfilment of the conditions
agreed upon in the kethubhah also tended to render divorce a rare
event. The number of cases of divorce among the Jews is therefore
comparatively smaller than among other denominations, but still
unfortunately far too large, owing to want of foresight and reflection
in the choice of a companion for life.
There is a kind of obligatory marriage (יבום) and or obligatory
divorce (חליצה), viz., with regard to the widow of a deceased brother
who has died without issue (Deut. xxv. 5–10). Since the abolition of
polygamy [203] by Rabbenu Gershom (eleventh century) the obligatory
marriage has almost disappeared, and the obligatory divorce (חליצה)
must take place before the widow can marry again. [204]
We acknowledge the principle laid down in the Talmud, “The law of the
country is binding upon us” (דינא דמלכותא דינא), but only in so far
as our civil relations are concerned. With regard to religious
questions our own religious code must be obeyed. Marriage laws include
two elements—civil relations and religious duties. As regards the
former, we abide by the decisions of the civil courts of the country.
We must, therefore, not solemnise a marriage which the law of the
country would not recognise; we must not religiously dissolve a
marriage by גט, unless the civil courts of law have already decreed
the divorce. On the other hand, we must not content ourselves with
civil marriage or civil divorce; religiously, neither civil marriage
nor civil divorce can be recognised unless supplemented by marriage or
divorce according to religious forms. Furthermore, marriages allowed by
the civil law, but prohibited by our religious law—e.g., mixed
marriages; that is, marriages between Jews and non-Jews—cannot be
recognised before the tribunal of our Religion; such alliances are
sinful, and the issue of such alliances must be treated as
illegitimate. Those who love their Religion and have the well-being of
Judaism at heart will do their utmost to prevent the increase of mixed
marriages.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under
the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die” (Eccles. iii. 1, 2).
Life is a precious gift the Creator has given us; while there is breath
in our nostrils we thank Him for it, we pray to Him for its
prolongation, do everything in our power to preserve it, and consider
its wilful destruction a criminal act. But notwithstanding all this
“there is a time to die.” Life and death are equally mysteries to us;
we trust in the mercy of Him who has ordained life and death, that both
are for our good. Death is, therefore, not to be regarded with dread
and horror; it is the transition to another state of life, the real
nature of which is unknown to us. But it is our belief that the future
life (העולם הבא) is infinitely superior to the present life (העולם
הזה); hence the saying in the Midrash that the words “exceedingly
good” (Gen. i. 31) applied to death. The only fear of death that can
reasonably be justified is the fear of departing from this life before
we have completed our task, before we have sufficiently strengthened
“the breaches of the house” caused by our own dereliction of duty. Our
Sages advise, “Return one day before thy death” (Aboth ii. 15); that
is, every day, the day of death being concealed from our knowledge. In
this manner we constantly prepare ourselves for death without
curtailing our enjoyment of life. “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth;
and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the
ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou,
that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. Therefore
remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for
childhood and youth are vanity” (Eccles. xi. 9, 10). When passion
overcomes us and evil inclinations invite us to sin, we are told by our
Sages to remember the day of death, which may suddenly surprise us
before we have been able by repentance to purify ourselves from our
transgressions (Babyl. Talm., Berachoth 5a).
When death approaches, and announces itself through man’s illness, we
do everything that human knowledge and skill can suggest to preserve
and prolong the earthly life with which God has endowed us; in
addition, the patient himself and his friends invoke the mercy of God
for his recovery. [205] Even when death appears invincible, when “the
edge of the sword touches already man’s neck, we do not relinquish our
hope in God’s mercy, and continue to pray to the All-merciful.” The
patient is asked to prepare himself for the solemn moment, although it
may in reality be as yet far off. [206] The preparation consists of
prayer, meditation, confession of sin, repentance, and of the
profession of our Creed, especially of the Unity of God, in the words,
“Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.” [207] To visit
the sick, to comfort them by kind words and deeds, to pray with and for
the patient, are acts included in the duty of “visiting the sick”
(בקור הולים). [208] In the moment of death those present testify
their faith in God by proclaiming the Dominion, the Omnipotence, and
the Unity of God in the same way in which we make this declaration at
the conclusion of the Day of Atonement. Although Prayer-books contain
certain forms of prayer for this purpose, the patient and those present
should rather follow the impulse of their heart, and commune with the
Almighty in any form their heart suggests.
When life has come to an end friends and relatives give free expression
to their grief; [209] to check it by comforting words at this moment is
useless (Aboth iv. 18). The mourners, [210] father, mother, son,
daughter, brother, and sister, have now to direct all their attention
to the deceased relative, in order that nothing be neglected in the
last honours shown to him; they are therefore free from all other
religious obligations till after the burial. In Palestine and
neighbouring countries, where, in consequence of the higher
temperature, decomposition of the body begins soon after death, the
burial takes place on the same day. [211] In colder climates two or
three days elapse between death and burial. The mourners abstain during
the interval from wine and meat.
Every act of piety in honour of the deceased is a meritorious religious
act, a mitsvah, an act of kindness and truth (חסד ואמת), and in every
congregation there exists a society, called חברא קרישא “holy
society,” whose members devote themselves to the fulfilment of these
pious duties.
According to the principle that death equalises all, that “the small
and great are there” (Job iii. 19), the greatest simplicity and
equality is observed in all matters connected with the obsequies [212]
of the dead. Friends and relatives follow to the burial-ground; the
הלוית המת, or attending the dead to their last resting-place, [213]
is one of those mitsvoth “the fruits of which a man enjoys in this
world, while the stock remains for him for the world to come.”
Burying the dead is a very old custom, to which the Jews adhered firmly
at all ages. The custom of the Greeks, who burnt their dead, found no
advocates among the Jews. In the Written and the Oral Law only the
burying of the dead is mentioned. To leave a human body unburied and
unattended was considered by Jews, as by other nations, an insult to
the deceased person, and whoever found such a body was bound to take
charge of it and to effect its burial. [214]
In the Burial Service we acknowledge the justice of God, and resign
ourselves to the Will of the Almighty (צדוק הדין). When the burial is
over our attention is directed to the living; words of comfort are
addressed to the mourners [215] who return home and keep שבעה “seven
days of mourning.” A certain degree of mourning is then continued till
the end of the year by the children of the deceased, and till the end
of the month (שלשים “thirty days”) by other relatives. [216]
Our regard for the deceased (יקרא דשכבי) and our sympathies with the
mourners (יקרא דחיי) are expressed in different ways.
The funeral oration (הספד) occasionally spoken at the grave, or in
the house of mourning, or in the Synagogue, generally combines both
elements; it contains a eulogy upon the deceased and words of sympathy
and exhortation for the living.
The special prayers offered up on such occasions likewise include these
two elements: petitions for the well-being of the soul of the deceased,
that it may find Divine mercy when appearing before the Supreme Judge,
and petitions for the comfort and relief of the mourners. The Kaddish
of the Mourners, however, does not contain such prayers, but merely
expresses their resignation to the Will of the Almighty, their
conviction that He is the only Being that is to be worshipped, and that
He alone will be worshipped by all mankind in the days of Messiah, and
their wish that the arrival of those days may be hastened.
There are, besides, the following customs, the object of which is to
express our regard for the memory of the deceased: (1.) A tombstone
(מצבה) is set up in front of or over the grave with the name of the
deceased, the date of his death, and such words of praise as are
dictated by the love and the esteem in which the deceased was held by
the mourners. (2.) A lamp is kept burning [217] during the week, or the
month, or the year of mourning, and on the anniversary of the day of
death (Jahrzeit). (3.) By observing the anniversary of the death as a
day devoted to earnest reflection, and to meditation on the merits and
virtues of the deceased; we keep away from amusements, and say Kaddish
in the course of the Services of the day. Some observe the anniversary
as a fast-day. (4.) By doing some mitsvah [218] in commemoration of the
deceased. (5.) By regarding with respect and piety the wishes of the
departed relative or friend, especially those uttered when death was
approaching. Our Sages teach: “It is our duty to fulfil the wishes of
the departed.” [219] The absence of this inner respect and piety makes
all the outward signs of mourning, however conscientiously observed,
valueless and illusory.