The moment I received your letter, I began to execute your
commission--With the assistance of mine host at the Bull and Gate, I
discovered the place to which your fugitive valet had retreated, and
taxed him with his dishonesty--The fellow was in manifest confusion at
sight of me, but he denied the charge with great confidence, till I told
him, that if he would give up the watch, which was a family piece, he
might keep the money and the clothes, and go to the devil his own way,
at his leisure; but if he rejected this proposal, I would deliver him
forthwith to the constable, whom I had provided for that purpose, and
he would carry him before the justice without further delay. After
some hesitation, he desired to speak with me in the next room, where he
produced the watch, with all its appendages, and I have delivered it to
our landlord, to be sent you by the first safe conveyance.
So much for business.
I shall grow vain, upon your saying you find entertainment in my
letters; barren, as they certainly are, of incident and importance,
because your amusement must arise, not from the matter, but from the
manner, which you know is all my own--Animated, therefore, by the
approbation of a person, whose nice taste and consummate judgment I can
no longer doubt, I will chearfully proceed with our memoirs--As it is
determined we shall set out next week for Yorkshire, I went to-day in
the forenoon with my uncle to see a carriage, belonging to a coachmaker
in our neighbourhood--Turning down a narrow lane, behind Longacre, we
perceived a crowd of people standing at a door; which, it seems, opened
into a kind of a methodist meeting, and were informed, that a footman
was then holding forth to the congregation within. Curious to see this
phoenomenon, we squeezed into the place with much difficulty; and who
should this preacher be, but the identical Humphry Clinker. He had
finished his sermon, and given out a psalm, the first stave of which he
sung with peculiar graces--But if we were astonished to see Clinker in
the pulpit, we were altogether confounded at finding all the females
of our family among the audience--There was lady Griskin, Mrs Tabitha
Bramble, Mrs Winifred Jenkins, my sister Liddy, and Mr Barton, and all
of them joined in the psalmody, with strong marks of devotion.
I could hardly keep my gravity on this ludicrous occasion; but old
Square-toes was differently affected--The first thing that struck him,
was the presumption of his lacquey, whom he commanded to come down, with
such an air of authority as Humphry did not think proper to disregard.
He descended immediately, and all the people were in commotion. Barton
looked exceedingly sheepish, lady Griskin flirted her fan, Mrs Tabby
groaned in spirit, Liddy changed countenance, and Mrs Jenkins sobbed as
if her heart was breaking--My uncle, with a sneer, asked pardon of the
ladies, for having interrupted their devotion, saying, he had particular
business with the preacher, whom he ordered to call a hackney-coach.
This being immediately brought up to the end of the lane, he handed
Liddy into it, and my aunt and I following him, we drove home, without
taking any further notice of the rest of the company, who still remained
in silent astonishment.
Mr Bramble, perceiving Liddy in great trepidation, assumed a milder
aspect, bidding her be under no concern, for he was not at all
displeased at any thing she had done--‘I have no objection (said he)
to your being religiously inclined; but I don’t think my servant is a
proper ghostly director for a devotee of your sex and character--if,
in fact (as I rather believe) your aunt is not the sole conductress of,
this machine’--Mrs Tabitha made no answer, but threw up the whites of
her eyes, as if in the act of ejaculation--Poor Liddy, said, she had no
right to the title of a devotee; that she thought there was no harm in
hearing a pious discourse, even if it came from a footman, especially
as her aunt was present; but that if she had erred from ignorance, she
hoped he would excuse it, as she could not bear the thoughts of living
under his displeasure. The old gentleman, pressing her hand with a
tender smile, said she was a good girl, and that he did not believe
her capable of doing any thing that could give him the least umbrage or
disgust.
When we arrived at our lodgings, he commanded Mr Clinker to attend him
up stairs, and spoke to him in these words--‘Since you are called upon
by the spirit to preach and to teach, it is high time to lay aside the
livery of an earthly master; and for my part, I am unworthy to have an
apostle in my service’--‘I hope (said Humphry) I have not failed in my
duty to your honour--I should be a vile wretch if I did, considering the
misery from which your charity and compassion relieved me--but having
an inward admonition of the spirit--’ ‘An admonition of the devil (cried
the squire, in a passion) What admonition, you blockhead? What right has
such a fellow as you to set up for a reformer?’ ‘Begging your honour’s
pardon (replied Clinker) may not the new light of God’s grace shine
upon the poor and the ignorant in their humility, as well as upon the
wealthy, and the philosopher in all his pride of human learning?’ ‘What
you imagine to be the new light of grace (said his master) I take to be
a deceitful vapour, glimmering through a crack in your upper story--In
a word, Mr Clinker, I will have no light in my family but what pays the
king’s taxes, unless it be the light of reason, which you don’t pretend
to follow.’
‘Ah, sir! (cried Humphry) the light of reason, is no more in comparison
to the light I mean, than a farthing candle to the sun at noon’--‘Very
true (said uncle), the one will serve to shew you your way, and the
other to dazzle and confound your weak brain. Heark ye, Clinker, you
are either an hypocritical knave, or a wrong-headed enthusiast; and in
either case, unfit for my service. If you are a quack in sanctity and
devotion, you will find it an easy matter to impose upon silly women,
and others of crazed understanding, who will contribute lavishly for
your support. If you are really seduced by the reveries of a disturbed
imagination, the sooner you lose your senses entirely, the better for
yourself and the community. In that case, some charitable person might
provide you with a dark room and clean straw in Bedlam, where it would
not be in your power to infect others with your fanaticism; whereas,
if you have just reflection enough left to maintain the character of a
chosen vessel in the meetings of the godly, you and your hearers will be
misled by a Will-i’the-wisp, from one error into another, till you are
plunged into religious frenzy; and then, perhaps, you will hang yourself
in despair’ ‘Which the Lord of his infinite mercy forbid! (exclaimed the
affrighted Clinker) It is very possible I may be under the temptation of
the devil, who wants to wreck me on the rocks of spiritual pride--Your
honour says, I am either a knave or a madman; now, as I’ll assure your
honour, I am no knave, it follows that I must be mad; therefore, I
beseech your honour, upon my knees, to take my case into consideration,
that means may be used for my recovery’
The ‘squire could not help smiling at the poor fellow’s simplicity, and
promised to take care of him, provided he would mind the business of his
place, without running after the new light of methodism: but Mrs Tabitha
took offence at his humility, which she interpreted into poorness
of spirit and worldly mindedness. She upbraided him with the want of
courage to suffer for conscience sake--She observed, that if he should
lose his place for bearing testimony to the truth, Providence would not
fail to find him another, perhaps more advantageous; and, declaring that
it could not be very agreeable to live in a family where an inquisition
was established, retired to another room in great agitation.
My uncle followed her with a significant look, then, turning to the
preacher, ‘You hear what my sister says--If you cannot live with me upon
such terms as I have prescribed, the vineyard of methodism lies before
you, and she seems very well disposed to reward your labour’--‘I would
not willingly give offence to any soul upon earth (answered Humphry);
her ladyship has been very good to me, ever since we came to London; and
surely she has a heart turned for religious exercises; and both she and
lady Griskin sing psalms and hymns like two cherubims--But, at the same
time, I’m bound to love and obey your honour--It becometh not such a
poor ignorant fellow as me, to hold dispute with gentlemen of rank and
learning--As for the matter of knowledge, I am no more than a beast in
comparison of your honour; therefore I submit; and, with God’s grace, I
will follow you to the world’s end, if you don’t think me too far gone
to be out of confinement’.
His master promised to keep him for some time longer on trial; then
desired to know in what manner lady Griskin and Mr Barton came to join
their religious society, he told him, that her ladyship was the person
who first carried my aunt and sister to the Tabernacle, whither he
attended them, and had his devotion kindled by Mr W--‘s preaching: that
he was confirmed in this new way, by the preacher’s sermons, which he
had bought and studied with great attention: that his discourse and
prayers had brought over Mrs Jenkins and the house-maid to the same
way of thinking; but as for Mr Barton, he had never seen him at service
before this day, when he came in company with lady Griskin. Humphry,
moreover, owned that he had been encouraged to mount the rostrum, by
the example and success of a weaver, who was much followed as a powerful
minister: that on his first trial he found himself under such strong
impulsions, as made him believe he was certainly moved by the spirit;
and that he had assisted in lady Griskin’s, and several private houses,
at exercises of devotion.
Mr Bramble was no sooner informed, that her ladyship had acted as the
primum mobile of this confederacy, than he concluded she had only made
use of Clinker as a tool, subservient to the execution of some design,
to the true secret of which he was an utter stranger--He observed, that
her ladyship’s brain was a perfect mill for projects; and that she and
Tabby had certainly engaged in some secret treaty, the nature of which
he could not comprehend. I told him I thought it was no difficult matter
to perceive the drift of Mrs Tabitha, which was to ensnare the heart
of Barton, and that in all likelihood my lady Griskin acted as her
auxiliary: that this supposition would account for their endeavours to
convert him to methodism; an event which would occasion a connexion of
souls that might be easily improved into a matrimonial union.
My uncle seemed to be much diverted by the thoughts of this Scheme’s
succeeding; but I gave him to understand, that Barton was pre-engaged:
that he had the day before made a present of an etuis to Liddy,
which her aunt had obliged her to receive, with a view, no doubt, to
countenance her own accepting of a snuff-box at the same time; that my
sister having made me acquainted with this incident, I had desired an
explanation of Mr Barton, who declared his intentions were honourable,
and expressed his hope that I would have no objections to his alliance;
that I had thanked him for the honour he intended our family; but told
him, it would be necessary to consult her uncle and aunt, who were
her guardians; and their approbation being obtained, I could have no
objection to his proposal; though I was persuaded that no violence would
be offered to my sister’s inclinations, in a transaction that so nearly
interested the happiness of her future life: that he had assured me, he
should never think of availing himself of a guardian’s authority, unless
he could render his addresses agreeable to the young lady herself; and
that he would immediately demand permission of Mr and Mrs Bramble, to
make Liddy a tender of his hand and fortune.
The squire was not insensible to the advantages of such a match, and
declared he would promote it with all his influence; but when I took
notice that there seemed to be an aversion on the side of Liddy, he said
he would sound her on the subject; and if her reluctance was such as
would not be easily overcome, he would civilly decline the proposal of
Mr Barton; for he thought that, in the choice of a husband a young woman
ought not to sacrifice the feelings of her heart for any consideration
upon earth--‘Liddy is not so desperate (said he) as to worship fortune
at such an expence.’
I take it for granted, this whole affair will end in smoke; though there
seems to be a storm brewing in the quarter of Mrs Tabby, who sat with
all the sullen dignity of silence at dinner, seemingly pregnant with
complaint and expostulation. As she had certainly marked Barton for her
own prey, she cannot possibly favour his suit to Liddy; and therefore
I expect something extraordinary will attend his declaring himself my
sister’s admirer. This declaration will certainly be made in form, as
soon as the lover can pick up resolution enough to stand the brunt
of Mrs Tabby’s disappointment; for he is, without doubt, aware of her
designs upon his person--The particulars of the denouement you shall
know in due season: mean while I am
Always yours, J. MELFORD LONDON, June 10.
To Dr LEWIS.