there was Danger enough in it to deserve an Answer, because I am
convinced, it is equally false and absurd. _Great Britain_ knows and
feels, that the improving these Manufactures here, is of vast Service
to her, as it weakens her Enemies, and strengthens her Friends; and
that all she pays us with one Hand, is quickly repaid by us into the
other. _Scotland_ also knows, that there is a vast demand for all the
Linens she and _Ireland_ can work up; and that _England_ alone consumes
above the Value of a Million, imported by Foreigners, more than she and
_Ireland_ can supply her with: She knows therefore, that there is no
Cause for Rivalship, and if there was, she wou'd exert herself to
discourage the Manufactures of Foreigners, before she wou'd attempt to
ruin a Sister Nation, so closely united to her in the great Cause of
Religion and Liberty, and all the weighty Interests that tie Nations
together. This is so evedent, so sacred a Truth, that I am so far from
being jealous of Opposition and Rivalship from that Quarter, that I am
confident of all that Assistance and Encouragement to our Linens, which
has been so often promised from _Great Britain_, and made good to us,
by the repeated Orders of our Kings; and not only by the Speeches of
our Lords Lieutenants, but by the most useful Laws from the Throne.
Nay, I doubt not, if by any evil Arts of our Enemies, any distress or
obstruction, should hereafter be procured to our Manufacturers; we
shou'd find on a candid Complaint of our Injury, an immediate Redress
from that honest Spirit, which ever regulates the _English_ Councils,
and makes them detest tricky Politicks, as much as open Oppression, and
has ever inspired them with a noble Zeal, to assist and protect the
righteous Cause of Truth, Industry and Liberty.
SWIFT. It may be so! very likely--but possibly, _Tom_, her aid might
come too late for our Misery; and we might cry out, like the poor
_Roman_ Knight _Lancia_, who bawl'd out for help, when the Pile he was
laid on, was all in Flames, and his Friends could do him no Service.
Besides, _Tom_, not to mention that your rising Manufacture fell last
Year 132,000 _l._ Have you not heard how your last Linen Bill, was so
miserably mutilated, that it was forc'd to be dropt; and that the
Nation was fobb'd off with a senseless Tale of a sleepy heedless Clerk;
which if you have not heard, I can give you a full Account of.
PRIOR. There is no Occasion, for I am quite convinced there was no such
Design. Do you think it possible, that Men of high Characters for
Honour and Candour, Justice and Integrity, cou'd sport in so infamous a
Manner with the Fate of Nations, and the very Bread and Being of a
free, a brave, and a loyal People? Can you suppose, such a Personage as
was then watching over our Welfare, wou'd from an universal Reputation,
for every great and good Quality, turn in an instant to a barbarous
_Caligula_, and Wish to cut off a whole Kingdom at a Blow? Absurd and
impossible! 'Tis not only reflecting on our Governors, basely and
falsely; but in some Measure on the best of Princes too; since it is
impossible we cou'd be subtily and insidiously betray'd by the one,
without being secretly doom'd to Ruin by the other. Now this, Mr.
_Dean_, is a Conduct so utterly opposite to his royal Nature and
Character, who now gives Glory to the _British_ Throne; that I am
persuaded, he is incapable of acting so to his most perfidious Enemies,
and much less to the most zealous and faithful Subjects in the World.
SWIFT. Well, well, _Tom_, 'tis no Time for us to be quarrelling about
Reports and Stories. But now you have done with whitening the
Sepulchres of _Ireland_, give me leave to shew you honestly, and
without Flattery, the Dirt and Stench, the Corruption and Rottenness
that lurks within. Now,
_Audi alteram Partam._
I will shew You----
PRIOR. Hear me out first, for I am so far from having done, that I have
not yet even touch'd on all the Advantages that our Country has
received, from the _Dublin_ Society's Premiums; which was one of my
chief Reasons, for having consider'd _Ireland_ as upon the Recovery,
when I went under-ground like a Tortoise, to be raised again when the
Summer comes, after a long Sleep. I need not be very particular on so
known and confest a Fact, as the extraordinary Improvements they have
made amongst us, in a vast Variety of Articles. We are told _Solomon_'s
Writings were so extensive, that he wrote from the Cedar of _Lebanon_,
to the Hyssop that groweth from the Wall; and really their Labours have
taken in every Material, every Manufacture, and every Improvement of
either of them, that had any claim to their Attention or Encouragement.
We may say of their Funds, as _Laertes_ does in _Hamlet_, 'as for my
Means, I'll husband them so well, they shall go far with little;' and
it is certain there never was so much done, with so poor an Income, to
remedy all our natural Indisposition, to Labour, and Thought, and
Industry; to rouse up Thousands who were asleep, and set Numbers on
contriving and working, who were dreaming and idling before; and to
stop our People from runing abroad, by Wages and Business, and an hope
of living to purpose at Home. They gave Premiums, to heighten the
Manufacture and Dying of our Woollen Cloths; of our Silks, and our
Velvets; of our Blankets; of our Worsteds; of our Cottons; of our
Coffoys; Buffs, Lutherines and, Fustians; of our Stockings, and our
Carpets, with surprising Success: In our Husbandry they did Wonders
also; as to Wheat and Barley; as to Liming, Marling, and Sanding of
Land; as to planting of Hops, draining of Bogs; as to raising
Liquorish, Saffron and Madder; and as to sowing of Turneps, Clover, St.
Foil, Trefoil, and all Kinds of Grass Seeds. They improv'd by a well
judged Emulation and proper Rewards, Numbers of our Husbandry Utensils:
They set the Nation at Work, in Planting amazing Quantities of Timber
Trees, Willows and Osiers for Hop Poles; in raising great Numbers of
Orchards, and improving our making of Cyder, home made Wines, and
Metheglins; as also in Brewing our Ale and Beer, and giving us Vinegar
from our own Fruits, equal to the best in _France_. They raised the
Manufactures of our finest Hats, to a surprising Degree; and they did
the same by our Window Glass, and made so great a Progress in our Paper
Business, and building of Mills for carrying it on, as if they had got
the Mines of _Peru_, or the Industry of _China_, to assist them in
their Undertakings.
SWIFT. Well, dear _Tom_, I suppose you have done now. I have finish'd a
Sermon, on a better Subject twice as soon, and yet tir'd my People, God
help them, before I had half done.
PRIOR. I see you don't relish the Transports of my Zeal on this
Subject, which gives me such high Delight; so I shall mention but
cursorily many Articles that remain, and shall pass by a Crowd in
Silence, that well deserv'd my dwelling on them: What I shall begin the
remaining part of my Catalogue with, is their exerting themselves with
such Assiduity and Success; in Teaching young Lads to Draw and Design
skilfully; in setting up Competitions for the best Delf, Roan and
Crockery Ware, for Erecting the best Glass Bottle-Houses, for raising
of Mulberry Trees, for making of Salt, for working the best Bone-Lace,
and the best Imitation of it by the Needle: For the Encouragement of
the best Needle-Works in Silk and Worsted; for the Advancement of those
lovely Arts Painting, Architecture and Sculpture; for encouraging
Tapestry, and enlarging our Fisheries: For improving the Tanning and
Currying of our Leather, for the Discovery of Mines and raising of
Ores, and for those who should annually Produce the best Invention in
useful Arts and Husbandry. In a Word, by turning themselves every way,
and applying their little Fund in different Years, to different Uses
and Subjects, they seem'd not only to Influence, but even to animate
the Whole of our Country; to fire our Hearts, to enlighten our Minds,
and stir and strengthen our Hands; and by giving a new Turn to our
Thoughts and Motions, to prepare us for yet greater Scenes of Industry,
when larger Helps cou'd be got to excite us to it. They have shewn us
the vast Effects of a well directed Emulation, and what a few hundred
annual Pounds, have already done, and can produce hereafter, by the
honest Oeconomy and prudential Directions, of a zealous and judicious
Body of Citizens, who Study the Good of their Country. They have also
shewn us another undisputed Truth, _viz._ That if their Fund was
enlarg'd, the Good they wou'd do wou'd be proportionably encreased with
it, and that little Wonders might be wrought in _Ireland_, by
enlivening the Arts, by Feeding the Hungry, by giving Feet and Hands to
the Lame and Lazy, Eyes to the Blind or dim-sighted, and raising the
Dead and the Drousy, to Life and Activity.
SWIFT. Go on, dear _Tom_, go on, with your Raptures and Enthusiastical
Reveries; but pray allow me to ask you one plain Question, what (if all
you affirm be true) cou'd possibly hinder, this necessary, and indeed
this important Enlargement of their Fund.
PRIOR. Why really, Mr. _Dean_, I cannot answer your Enquiry, without
throwing one of the heaviest Imputations on a Nation, which I wou'd
have Died to serve effectually, and which I spent my Life in labouring
to serve, in too narrow and stinted a Manner. It must be confest, too
few of our Nobility or Gentry, shew'd that Generosity of Soul to
encrease the annual Income of the Society, by their Contributions, as
might have been expected, from the Numbers of worthy Men among us, who
do us real Honour. It is certain his Majesty set the Nation a noble
Example, by Assigning them a Charter, and allowing them an handsome
annual Revenue out of his Treasury; and what shou'd hinder Crowds of
our worthiest Noblemen and Gentlemen, of large Fortunes and Minds
proportioned to them, to Subscribe Ten or Twenty Pounds a Year, to so
noble and so successful a Scheme, is hard and perhaps painful to say: I
am the more amaz'd at it, as they cou'd not but say, it wou'd have
raised _Ireland_ from Idleness to Industry, from Ignorance to
Knowledge; from Contempt and Disregard, to Honour and Credit; and wou'd
not have left us in fifty Years, an Idler or a Beggar, (which are but
synonimous Terms) in the whole Kingdom. A Dish or two sav'd from their
Tables, or a Bottle or two from their Revellings, an Horse or two left
out of their Stables, nay even a lac'd Coat, or a lac'd Livery sunk: a
Night of Gaming, a trifling Frolick, a Jaunt of Pleasure deducted from
their usual Expences; or what is still better, a Winter or two spent in
doing Good on their own Estates, wou'd more than answer all: It is
certain, that it is absolutely incumbent on every Gentleman, I will not
say that loves _Ireland_, but that loves himself and his Family, to do
his best to assist so happy a Scheme, so distinguish'd a Society, with
his Purse, his Head and his Hands, if he knows how to use any of them.
Nay, they shou'd extend the same Methods, and the same Premiums, to
their several Provinces, Counties and Cities, for the particular Arts
and Manufactures, that are likeliest to thrive there: And if they
diffused them to their own Estates, Manors and Tenants, it wou'd in
Time with Patience and Management, produce vast Effects, and a strange
Revolution in our Circumstances, Customs and Manners. These are
Thoughts worthy of Men, of Christians, of Free-born _Britons_, and
rational Creatures! worthy to be planted and nursed in every honest
Breast, and to be spread as universally, as the Air we breathe, and the
Bounds of Nature and the World. He that has them, and feeds and
cultivates them in his Soul, and brings them into common Life and
Action in his Country, has a better Claim to the Love of his Maker, or
Fellow-Citizens, than if he had founded Empires, or discover'd new
Worlds.
SWIFT. Very well, _Tom_--but pray will Mankind agree to these fine
Doctrines, or will they not rather despise or ridicule them, as a
little on the Romantick.
PRIOR. If the Lazy, the Vicious, and the Selfish laugh at such Notions,
and look on such Plans of Things, as Dreams and Visions; the Active,
the Virtuous, and the Disinterested, know their real Worth, and wish
and labour, to have them spread as widely and as forcibly among Men, as
Vices corrupt; and Plagues destroy. I and some others did our best, to
propagate such ways of thinking and acting here; but I fear we might to
as much Purpose, have admonish'd the modern _Italians_, to imitate the
Courage, Zeal and publick Spirit of the antient _Romans_, for I did not
find, that we made many Converts to our Opinions. However, Charity
makes me think, that what chiefly hinders our Gentlemen from acting
right, and making such Thoughts the great Rules of their Conduct; is
the dread of being Singular, and the unmanly fear of envious Tempers.
They apprehend being traduced or sneer'd at, by the common Herd of
Mankind for their insolent Zeal, and their daring to set up to serve
others, and improve their Countrymen, and therefore they decline it. It
is odd how any good, not to say any great Mind, can be overaw'd by so
mean a Modesty, by so poor a Terror, as the Censure or Malice of those
he labours to serve, and yet Hundreds (I speak from long Experience)
are influenced by it. What makes me wonder the more at such Conduct,
is, that I am persuaded Malice here below, is not only design'd by the
great Author of Good, as a Trial of our Virtue, to see if it is real
and constant to the Touch, as the Goldsmith does his Metal by passing
it thro' the Fire, but I cou'd even think Malice, is also a sort of
Reward to Virtue.
SWIFT. Bless us all, _Tom!_ Malice a Reward to Virtue! that is
something new indeed, _Tom_.
PRIOR. It may be absurd also, but I am sometimes inclined to think it
so, because it generally encreases and exalts our Worth, and also as it
frequently serves to make it appear with the greater Dignity and Glory,
when the Malice of Envyers is vanquish'd or silenced. Besides we often
see it a direct Spur to noble Actions, and find it stimulates our
Ardour to new advances; and when our Souls are firm enough, to smile at
and even wish well to our Detractors, it swells the Heart with a nobler
Joy, and an higher Delight, than even Virtue in any other Situation can
give. But however that may be, I am sure it is the chief Reward of
Virtue in this World, and this Age. But to dismiss that Point, I must
observe that it has often amaz'd me, to see how few Gentlemen I cou'd
persuade to exert themselves, by proper Donations or Subscriptions, to
assist a Society that is so eminently useful to their Country.
SWIFT. I think you have accounted for it pretty well already, I will
only add this plain Truth, that Men love their Money better than their
Health, or their dear Bodies, to say nothing of their Souls. For this
Reason it is, that they don't Care for giving it to Schemes of Notions,
and airy Views of Industry, and Improving of Nations; but they keep it
for solid Substantial Things, their Racing and Gaming, their Hawks and
their Hounds, their Cloaths and their Coaches, their Houses and their
Equipages, their Kitchens and Cellars, their Amours and Amusements.
They are so far from giving their Money to such Projects and Views,
that they will not even give their Thoughts or their Time to them, lest
they shou'd be mislead, into the Plague of reading, and thinking, and
reasoning; of contriving the best Methods, of punishing the Idle,
reclaiming the Vicious, or employing the Poor. Such troublesome
Methods, may prove the overthrow of Electioneering and Borough-buying,
and their embosom'd Thirst for the poorest Power, the meanest Places,
and the basest Gain; and in a Word it wou'd be the Destruction, of all
those dirty Jobbs, that enrich private Rogues and beggar Nations. How,
dear _Tom_, cou'd you expect such dissipated Minds, such a listless
pleasurable Gentry, wou'd ever contribute a Thought, or a Shilling to
improve _Ireland_, who won't improve one Thousand Acres, to help their
Children and feed their Families? Who will not even take the Trouble,
or be at the Expence, to lay out Nurseries for adorning their Estates,
or plant out Groves and Woods, to make their Residence pleasant to
them; nay, who will not even Build good Mansion Houses, or comfortable
Offices for themselves or their Posterity? Wou'd such unthinking
unactive Mortals, subscribe to Societies, or lighten their Purses to
establish Premiums, who tho' they cou'd make themselves and their
Fortunes easy, by a little Management, tho' they cou'd starve their
Diseases by Temperance, and be an Honour to their Country, by a little
Virtue and Dignity of Behaviour, will not think them worth their
Attention. One shou'd never expect, mighty Efforts of Goodness or
Greatness of Mind, from any Men, or even dream of moderate ones from
_Irishmen_; or at least whoever does, shou'd remember what the
_Italian_ says, 'He who lives on Hope dies of Hunger.' As there are few
among us, _Tom_, who have exalted Minds, enlarg'd Understandings, or
uncorrupted Hearts, join'd with a noble Contempt, for whatever can
happen to us here, it is pretty evident, why their Subscriptions were
so few and so mean; for without these transcendent Qualities, 'tis hard
to conceive how Men can truly love their Country, and be real sincere
Patriots. Numbers have Generosity enough, to relieve a distrest Family,
to join for a Ridotto, to set up a Musick Meeting, or an Assembly, or
Subscribe for a Week's Races; but they wou'd as soon contribute to the
Building of Churches, or endowing Colleges for the Advancement of
Learning, as to promote the Trade, the Tillage, the Manufactures, the
Welfare of _Ireland_, by taxing their Pocket, or substracting from
their Pleasures. There is however one Excuse, which I must plead for
them, notwithstanding all I have said, and that is the too general
Despair, of doing any Service to their Country; by such Subscriptions,
the Remedy is so disproportioned to the Disease. 'Tis, they think, like
Sir _Joseph Jekills_, leaving 30,000 _l._ by his Will, to help to pay
off the National Debt, of eighty Millions.
PRIOR. That was a poor Excuse indeed; for a considerable Number of
generous Subscriptions, wou'd greatly relieve the Wants and Distresses
of _Ireland_.
SWIFT. No more than a few Showers of Rain, wou'd quench the
Conflagration, if the _Pyrenees_ with all their Forests were on Fire,
as we Read they once were. All the _Dublin_ Society did, was to shew
what we wanted, and to set an Example, of what might be done, to help
our dreadful Ailments: But you might as well expect to work Miracles,
and to feed Thousands, like our Saviour, with a few Loaves, as to
retrieve a Nation, by throwing a few Widow's Mites into the Treasury.
It is true, Nations, with their many Hands, make light Work; but where
can the Power be found, to animate and employ Millions, but in the
Omnipotence of him who made them, or the force and weight of Monarchs,
(the Representatives of Heaven) who Rule and Govern them. All you and
your Society cou'd do, was to shew you understood the miserable
Condition of _Ireland_, and to manifest your sincere desire to assist
with some Care and Judgment in the Cure; but you cou'd as well remove
Mountains by your Faith, as the Ills we groaned under, by so adequate a
Remedy, as your impoverish'd stinted Fund.
PRIOR. Why you will make me lose all Patience, Mr. _Dean_! Do you think
because I have laid aside Flesh and Blood, that I can bear any Thing?
Did not I lay before you, a long delightful Account, of almost infinite
Services which the Society did _Ireland_, in improving old
Manufactures, or introducing new Ones; in advancing our Husbandry, in
encouraging every Art and every Branch of Industry? As I am now a truly
rational thinking Creature, I wou'd not willingly lose my Temper, but I
solemnly declare, that the Rules the Society prescrib'd, and the
Labours they set on Foot, the Fields which they sow'd or they planted,
the Houses they got Built, the Rivers they bank'd in, the Bogs which
they drain'd, the Marshes they laid dry, and the Lands they gain'd from
the Ocean, have alter'd the very Nature and Face of the Country, and
chang'd even the Air and the Climate for the better!
SWIFT. Stuff, Nonsense, Madness! One wou'd think you were alive still,
_Tom_, by your furious flourishing on Nothing, or Trifles next to
nothing. The Nature and Face of the Country alter'd, and even the Air
and the Climate chang'd for the better! Have you a Mind to talk my
Reason away, or make a Jest of my zeal for Truth? This is the old way
of prating and vaunting in _Ireland_, that used to make me, and every
Friend to it sick of such unmeaning Declamations. We are such Fools as
ever to be bragging of our Soil and our Linens, our Wealth and our
Plenty, our Weather and our Climate, as if we strove to bring over a
greater Crowd of _English_ Refugees hither.
PRIOR. Refugees! dear _Dean_, how can you indulge such an Acrimony of
Speech? That is not only an invidious, but a sarcastical and barbarous
Expression.
SWIFT. Not a whit. I speak only of such as come over to us, for their
Love to Religion, for the hope of Liberty of Conscience, whatever they
believe, or Preferments in the Church, whatever they Practice, or to
avoid Persecution from Men arm'd with Power and the Laws, the
Rapaciousness of Creditors, and the Insolence of Sheriffs and Bailiffs,
and to live at peace here, with quiet Minds and easy Circumstances.
This is a true Notion of a Refugee, and I think such People come over
fast enough without such ostentatious Proclamations to give them new
Encouragements: My Conduct always took a different Turn, and if I had
liv'd a little longer, I had wrote a Treatise to prove _Ireland_, the
most inhospitable and barbarous of all habitable Islands, and the very
Piss-pot of the Western World. I even made it a Rule to rail at it all
I could, to frighten such People from coming hither, lest hearing there
was Corn in the Land, shou'd invite them over to eat it up, while we
were kept Starving. You pretend to take Offence at my Expressions, but
I see plainly, what vext you was, because forsooth I reflected with
some Spleen, on your little huckstering Society, with its two-penny
Rewards and three-penny Premiums, for going any silly Errands you sent
People on; and so in mere Contradiction you make them reform our Heaven
and our Earth, and mend our very Climate and the Face of Nature. For my
part as to the Face of Nature and the Country, I know no great
Alterations, but the shaving her Beard close, and cutting down all her
Woods, so that we now pay 40,000 _l._ per Annum for imported Timber.
When I was an Inhabitant of this lower World, I remember I lov'd the
Country well enough in the Summer Season; but I cou'd not bear to spend
much Time in it, as I never cou'd Walk or ride in a single Field; that
did not put me in a Passion, either to see it as wild as ever Nature
left it after the Mud of the Deluge; or at least not so much improv'd
as it might be, if the Owner had common Sense or common Industry. What
ever enrag'd me most was, that tho' such Fellows I knew by Experience,
wou'd venture their Limbs or their Necks for a Guinea, yet they had not
the Skill to make Five Pounds more of their Ground than they got by it,
tho' a little Labour and Art wou'd have done the Thing. When I look'd
on my Airings on the wild Wastes of rich Lands unbuilt and untill'd, I
sigh'd for the want of Houses and Tenements, of Welders and Plows; and
when after ten Miles riding, I found some lame Attempts after such
Things, I was still more vex'd to see our Cabbins, and what we call'd
our Corn Grounds, no more resembling the Buildings and Tillage of
_England_, than an Ape does a Man. I really don't expect that _Ireland_
will ever be properly improv'd, till the _Millennium_ makes the whole
Earth a Paradise; and then after a long Struggle between Heaven and
Nature, we may chance to come in for a share; tho' at present Heaven is
so little minded here, as to Churches or Chapels, or national Piety,
that I don't wonder to see the Land running into a Desart every Hour,
fill'd with Beasts and a few Savages.
PRIOR. I see, _Dean_, you have not forgot your old way of thinking and
speaking. It is well there is no Pen and Ink, or Printing allow'd under
Ground; or else we shou'd have old work below Stairs----
_Sub Terris tonnuisse putes----_
As the witty Classick expresses it.