ASTOUNDING EVENT--SUSPENSION OF SPECIE PAYMENTS--PROCEEDINGS
OF THE BANK OF QUODLIBET THEREUPON--RESOLVE OF THE DIRECTORS
AGAINST SUSPENSION--CONSPIRACY AND THREATENED REVOLUTION
HEADED BY FLAN. SUCKER--DIRECTORS CHANGE THEIR MIND--THEIR
CONSTERNATION AND ESCAPE--REMARKABLE BRAVERY AND PRESENCE
OF MIND OF THE HON. MIDDLETON FLAM--HIS SPLENDID APPEAL TO
THE INSURGENTS--GENERAL JACKSON'S ORACULAR VIEWS IN REGARD
TO THE SUSPENSION.
Proh hominum fidem!
It falls to my lot, at this stage of my history, to be constrained to
record an event the most astounding, the most awful, the most
unexpected, the most treacherous, the most ungrateful, the most
flagitious--yea, the most supereminently flagitious,--that the history
of mankind affords. Notwithstanding that laudatory and political
ejaculation which the Hero and Sage breathed out in the evening of his
brilliant career, like the last notes of the swan, "I leave this great
people prosperous and happy"--notwithstanding that flattering canzonet,
with which he who pledges himself to walk in the Hero and Sage's
footsteps, began his illustrious course, singing as it were the morning
carol of the lark--"we present an aggregate of human prosperity surely
not elsewhere to be found"--the echo of these sweet sounds had not died
away upon the tympana of our ravished ears, before these banks--these
gentle pet banks--these fostered, favored, sugar-plum and candy-fed pet
banks, with all their troop of plethoric and pampered paragon sister
banks, one and all, without one pang of remorse, without one word of
warning, without even, as far as we could see, one tingle of a
suppressed and struggling blush, incontinently suspended specie
payments!! O curas hominum! Quantum est in rebus inane!
Shall I tell it? Even the Patriotic Copperplate Bank of Quodlibet was
compelled to follow in this faithless path. Not at once, I confess--not
off-hand, and with such malice prepense as the others--for Nicodemus
Handy had a soul above such black ingratitude--but after a pause, and,
let the truth be told in extenuation, because he could not help it.
The Hon. Middleton Flam was sent for upon the first tidings of
this extraordinary kicking in the traces by these high-mettled
institutions--tidings which reached Quodlibet, via the canal, about
eleven o'clock one morning in May. The Directors were summoned into
council. What was to be done? was the general question. Anthony
Hardbottle, of the firm of Barndollar & Hardbottle--a grave man and a
thoughtful; a man without flash, who seldom smiles--a lean man, hard
favored and simple in his outgoings and incomings; a man, who has never
sported, as long as I have known him, any other coat than that
snuff-brown with covered buttons, and who does not wear out above one
pair of shoes in a year; a man who could never be persuaded to give so
far into the times as to put on a black cravat, but has always stuck to
the white:--such a man, it may be easily imagined, was not to be carried
away by new-fangled notions:--he was there at the Board, in place of
Theodore Fog, who was compelled two years before to withdraw his name as
a candidate for re-election. This same Anthony Hardbottle, speaking
under the dictates of that cautious wisdom natural to him as a merchant,
answered this question of What was to be done?--by another equally
laconic and pregnant with meaning----
"How much cash have we on hand?"
"One hundred and seven dollars and thirty-seven and a half cents in
silver," replied Nicodemus, "and five half eagles in gold, which were
brought here by our honorable President and placed on deposit, after he
had used them in the last election for the purpose of showing the people
what an admirable currency we were to have, as soon as Mr. Benton should
succeed in making it float up the stream of the Mississippi."
Again asked Anthony Hardbottle, "What circulation have you abroad?"
"Six hundred thousand dollars," replied Nicodemus, "and a trifle over."
"Then," said Anthony, "I think we had better suspend with the rest."
"Never," said the Hon. Middleton Flam, rising from his seat and thumping
the table violently with his hand. "Never, sir, while I am President of
this bank, and there is a shot in the locker."
"Bravo--well said, admirably said, spoke as a Quodlibetarian ought to
speak!" shouted Dr. Thomas G. Winkleman, the keeper of the soda-water
Pavilion; "I have fifteen dollars in five-penny bits; they are at the
service of the Board, and while I hold a piece of coin, the Patriotic
Copperplate Bank shall never be subjected to the reproach of being
unable to meet its obligations. Anthony Hardbottle, as a Democrat I am
surprised at you."
"I can't help it," replied Anthony; "in my opinion, our issues are
larger than our means."
"How larger, sir?" demanded Mr. Snuffers, the President of the New
Light, with some asperity of tone.--"Haven't we a batch of bran-new
notes, just signed and ready for delivery? Redeem the old ones with new.
Why should we suspend?"
"Gentlemen, I will put the question to the Board," interposed Mr. Flam,
fearful lest a quarrel might arise, if the debate continued. "Shall this
bank suspend specie payments? Those in favor of this iniquitous
proposition will say AY."
No one answered. Anthony Hardbottle was intimidated by the President's
stern manner.
"Those opposed to it will say NO."
"No!" was the universal acclamation of the Board, with the exception of
Anthony Hardbottle who did not open his lips.
"Thank you, gentlemen," said Mr. Flam, "for this generous support. I
should have been compelled by the adoption of this proposition, much as
I esteem this Board, much as I value your good opinion, to have returned
the commission with which you have honored me as your President. Our
country first, and then ourselves! The Democracy of Quodlibet never will
suspend!"
At this moment confused noises were heard in the banking-room, which
adjoined that in which the Directors were convened. Mr. Handy
immediately sprang from his chair and went into this apartment.
There stood about thirty persons, principally boatmen from the canal. At
their head, some paces advanced into the bank, was Flanigan Sucker. One
sleeve of Flan's coat was torn open from the shoulder to the wrist; his
shirt, of a very indefinite complexion, was open at the breast,
disclosing the shaggy mat of hair that adorned this part of his person;
his corduroy trowsers had but one suspender to keep them up, thus giving
them rather a lop-sided set. His face was fiery-red; and his hat, which
was considerably frayed at the brim, was drawn over one ear, and left
uncovered a large portion of his forehead and crown which were
embellished by wild elf locks of carroty hue.
"Nicodemus," said Flan. as soon as the Cashier made his appearance, "we
have come to make a run upon the bank:--they say you've bursted your
biler." Then turning to the crowd behind him, he shouted, "Growl,
Tigers!--Yip! yip! Hurra!"
As Flan. yelled out these words, a strange muttering sound broke forth
from the multitude.
"What put into your drunken noddle that we have broke?" inquired Mr.
Handy, with great composure, as soon as silence was restored.
"Nim Porter ses, Nicodemus, that you're a gone horse, and that if you
ain't busted up, you will be before night. So we have determined on a
run."
Nim Porter, who was standing in the rear of the crowd, where he had
come to see how matters were going on, now stepped forward. Nim is the
fattest man in Quodlibet, and besides, is the most dressy and
good-natured man we have. On this occasion there he stood with a stiff
starched linen roundabout jacket on, as white as the driven snow, with
white drilling pantaloons just from the washerwoman, and the most
strutting ruffle to his shirt that could have been manufactured out of
cambric. In all points he was unlike the crowd of persons who occupied
the room. "I said nothing of the sort--" was Nim's reply--"and I am
willing now to bet ten to one that he can't produce a man here to say I
said so."
"What's the odds!" cried Flan; "Nicodemus, we are resolved upon a
run--so shell out!"
"Begin when it suits you," said Mr. Handy. "Let me have your note, and I
will give you either silver or gold as you choose."
"You don't catch me that way," shouted Flan., with a drunken grimace.
"Notes is not in my line--shell out anyhow. We have determined on a
run--a genuine, dimmycratic sortie."
"Have you none of our paper?" again inquired Mr. Handy.
"Not a shaving, Nicodemus," replied Flan. "What's the odds?"
"But I have," said a big, squinting boatman, as he walked up to our
Cashier, and untied his leather wallet. "There's sixty dollars, and I'll
thank you for the cash.
"And I have twenty-five more," cried out another.
"And I twice twenty-five," said a gruff voice from the midst of the
crowd.
All this time the number of persons outside was increasing, and very
profane swearing was heard about the door. Mr. Handy stepped to the
window to get a view of the assemblage, and seeing that nearly all the
movable part of Quodlibet was gathering in front of the building, he
retired with some trepidation into the Directors' room, and informed Mr.
Flam and the Board of what was going on. They had a pretty good
suspicion of this before Mr. Handy returned, for they had distinctly
heard the uproar. Mr. Handy no sooner communicated the fact to them,
than Mr. Flam, with considerable perturbation in his looks, rose and
declared that Quodlibet was in a state of insurrection; and, as every
one must be aware, that in the midst of a revolution no bank could be
expected to pay specie, he moved, in consideration of this menacing
state of affairs, that the Patriotic Copperplate Bank of Quodlibet
suspend specie payments forthwith, and continue the same until such time
as the re-establishment of the public peace should authorize a
resumption. This motion was gratefully received by the Board, and
carried without a division. During this interval, the conspirators
having learned, through their leader, Flan. Sucker, that the Hon.
Middleton Flam was in the house, forthwith set up a violent shouting for
that distinguished gentleman to appear at the door. It was some moments
before our representative was willing to obey this summons: the Board of
Directors were thrown into a panic, and with great expedition got out of
the back window into the yard, and made their escape--thus leaving the
indomitable and unflinching President of the bank, a man of lion heart,
alone in the apartment; while the yells and shouts of the multitude were
ringing in his ears with awful reduplication. He was not at a loss to
perform his duty, but, with a dignified and stately movement, stalked
into the banking-room, approached the window that looked upon the
street, threw it open, and gave himself in full view to the multitude.
There was a dreadful pause; a scowl sat upon every brow; a muttering
silence prevailed. As Tacitus says: "Non tumultus, non quies, sed quale
magni metus, et magnae irae silentium est." Mr. Flam raised his arm, and
spoke in this strain:--
"Men of Quodlibet, what madness has seized upon you? Do you assemble in
front of this edifice to make the day hideous with howling? Is it to
insult Nicodemus Handy, a worthy New Light, or is it to affright the
universe by pulling down these walls? Shame on you, men of Quodlibet! If
you have a vengeance to wreak, do not inflict it upon us. Go to the
Whigs, the authors of our misfortune. They have brought these things
upon us. Year after year have we been struggling to give you a
constitutional currency--the real Jackson gold----"
"Three cheers for Middleton Flam!" cried out twenty voices, and
straightway the cheers ascended on the air; and in the midst was heard a
well-known voice, "Yip! yip!--Go it, Middleton!"
"Yes, my friends," proceeded the orator, "while we have been laboring
to give you the solid metals; while we have been fighting against this
PAPER-MONEY PARTY, and have devoted all our energies to the endeavor to
prostrate the influence of these RAG BARONS, these MONOPOLISTS, THESE
CHAMPIONS OF VESTED RIGHTS AND CHARTERED PRIVILEGES, the WHIGS--we have
been foiled at every turn by the power of their unholy combinations of
associated wealth. They have filled your land with banks, and have
brought upon us all the curses of _over-trading_ and _over-speculating_,
until the people are literally on their faces at the footstool of the
Money Power. (Tremendous cheering.) Our course has been resolute and
unwaveringly patriotic. We have stood in the breach and met the storm;
but all without avail. Between the rich and the poor lies a mighty gulf.
The rich man _has_, the poor man _wants_. Of that which the rich hath,
does he give to the poor? Answer me, men of Quodlibet."
"No!" arose, deep-toned, from every throat.
"Then our course is plain. Poor men, one and all, rally round our
Democratic banner. Let the aristocrats know and feel that you will not
bear this tyranny."
"We will," shouted Flan. Sucker. "Go it, Middleton!"
"Gentlemen," continued Mr. Flam, "this bank of ours is purely
DEMOCRATIC. It is an exception to all other banks; it is emphatically
the poor man's friend: nothing can exceed the skill and caution with
which it has been conducted. Would that all other banks were like it! We
have, comparatively, but a small issue of paper afloat; we have a large
supply of specie. You perceive, therefore, that we fear no run. You all
saw with what alacrity our Cashier proffered to redeem whatever amount
our respectable fellow-citizen, that excellent Democrat, Mr. Flanigan
Sucker, might demand. (Cheers, and a cry of 'Yip!') Mr. Sucker was
satisfied, and did not desire to burden himself with specie. Gentlemen,
depend upon _me_. When there is danger, if such a thing could be to this
New-Light Democratic bank, I will be the first to give you warning.
(Cheers, and 'Hurrah for Flam.') Born with an instinctive love of the
people, I should be the vilest of men, if I could ever forget my duty to
them. (Immense cheering, and cries of 'Flam forever!') Take my advice,
retire to your homes, keep an eye on the Whigs and their wicked schemes
to bolster up the State banks, make no run upon this institution--it is
an ill bird that defiles its own nest--and, before you depart,
gentlemen, let me inform you that, having the greatest regard to your
interest, we have determined upon a temporary suspension, as a mere
matter of caution against the intrigues of the Whigs, who, we have every
reason to believe, actuated by their implacable hatred of the New-Light
Democracy, will assail this, your favorite bank, with a malevolence
unexampled in all their past career. (Loud cheers, and cries of 'Stand
by the bank.') But, Quodlibetarians, rally, and present a phalanx more
terrible than the Macedonian to the invader. You can--I am sure you
will--and, therefore, I tell you your bank is safe."
"We can, we will!" rose from the whole multitude, accompanied with
cheers that might vie with the bursting of the ocean surge.
"Gentlemen," added Mr. Flam, "I thank you for the manifestation of this
patriotic sentiment. It is no more than I expected of Quodlibet. In
conclusion, I am requested, my good friends, by Mr. Handy, to say that
having just prepared some notes on a _superior_ paper, he will redeem at
the counter any old ones you may chance to hold, in that new emission;
and I can with pride assure you, that this late supply is equal,
perhaps, to anything that has ever been issued in the United States.
With my best wishes, gentlemen, for your permanent prosperity, under the
new and glorious dynasty of that distinguished New-Light Democrat, whom
the unbought suffrages of millions of freemen have called to the supreme
executive chair, (cheers,) and under whose lead we fondly indulge the
hope of speedily sweeping from existence this pestilential brood of Whig
banks, I respectfully take my leave."
Having concluded this masterly appeal to the reason and good sense of
the people, Mr. Flam withdrew under nine distinct rounds of applause.
The effect of this powerful speech, which has often since been compared
to that of Cicero against Catiline, was completely to still the public
mind of Quodlibet, and also to remove all apprehensions of the solidity
of our bank. But its happiest feature was the vindication of the bank
against that charge of treachery and ingratitude which so justly lies at
the door of all the other banks of the country. The Patriotic
Copperplate Bank of Quodlibet was, as Mr. Flam observed, _purely
Democratic_--Democratic in its origin, in its principles, in its
organization, in its management, in its officers, its stockholders, and
its customers. Such a bank, of course, could not be unfaithful to the
Democratic administration that fostered it--_infidelity or ingratitude
to party is no inhabitant of a Democratic bosom_. If there be men upon
earth who go all lengths, through thick and thin, for party, it is (I
say it with pride) the genuine New-Light Quodlibetarian Democracy. Our
bank, therefore, stands uncontaminated by that revolting perfidy which,
at the instigation of Biddle and the Barings, brought all the other
banks, in which there are Whig directors or officers, into the most
wicked conspiracy recorded in history.
It was not long after this astounding event before the opinions uttered
above were fully and most remarkably confirmed by a letter from the
Hermitage; a letter which for its shrewdness of view, its perspicacity,
its lucid style and Hero-and-Sage-like felicity of construction, is
unequaled in the productions of the venerable Chief. I am happy to
insert it here, as a most eloquent exposition of the causes of the
suspension--feeling assured that its distinguished author had no
reference to the Democratic banks, and especially none to ours of
Quodlibet, but intended it entirely for the vile Whigs.
"_The history of the world_," says this immortal man, writing July
ninth, to the virgin-minded, tremulously-sensitive, and unrewarded
editor of the Globe, "_never has recorded such base treachery and
perfidy as has been committed by the deposit banks against the
government, and purely with a view of gratifying Biddle and the Barings,
and by the suspension of specie payments, degrade, embarrass, and ruin,
if they could, their own country, for the selfish views of making large
profits by throwing out millions of depreciated paper upon the
people--selling their specie at large premiums, and buying up their own
paper at discounts of from 25 to 50 per cent., and now looking forward
to be indulged in these speculations for years to come before they
resume specie payments._"
Oracular old man! Sage and Seer! Priest and Prophet to lead thine
Israelites beyond Jordan! Happy do I, S. S., Schoolmaster of Quodlibet,
account myself that I have lived in this thy day!