--Solomon in all his Glory--He Defines Drinking to be a Religious
Exercise--True Blue and the Equivocal--Phil's Eloquence--A Charter
Toast.
From the same to the same.
“Friday, * * *
“The order of business for each night of meeting is, I find, as
follows:--1. Lodge to open with prayer, members standing. 2. General
rules read. 3. Members proposed. 4. Reports from committee. 5. Names of
members called over. 6. Members balloted for. 7. Members made. 8. Lodge
to close with prayer, members standing.
“It was about eight o'clock, when, accompanied by a young fellow named
Graham, we reached the Lodge, which, in violation of one of its own
rules, was held in what was formerly called the Topertoe Tavern, but
which has since been changed to the Castle Cumber Arms--being a field
_per pale_, on which is quartered a purse, and what seems to be an
inverted utensil of lead, hammered into a coronet. In the other is a
large mouth, grinning, opposite to which is a stuffed pocket, from which
hangs the motto, '_ne quid detrimenti res privata capiat_.' Under the
foot of the gentleman is the neck of a famine-struck woman, surrounded
by naked and starving children, and it is by the convenient aid of her
neck that he is enabled to reach the purse, _or_; and, indeed, such is
his eagerness to catch it and the coronet, that he does not seem to
care much whether he strangles her or not. On the leaden coronet, is the
motto, alluding to the head which fills it, '_similis simili gaudet_.'
“I should mention, before proceeding further, that Mr. Valentine
M'Clutchy, being master of the Lodge in question, was the individual
from whom I had received permission to be present under the
circumstances already specified. The ceremony of making a member is
involved in that ridiculous mystery which is calculated to meet the
vulgar prejudices of low and ignorant men. Sometimes they are made one
by one, and occasionally, or, I believe, more frequently in batches
of three or more, in order to save time and heighten the effect. The
novice, then, before entering the Lodge, is taken into another room,
where he is blindfolded, and desired to denude himself of his shoes
and stockings, his right arm is then taken out of his coat and shirt
sleeves, in order to leave his right shoulder bare. He then enters the
Lodge, where he is received in silence with the exception of the master,
who puts certain queries to him, which must be appropriately answered.
After this he receives on the naked shoulder three smart slaps of
the open hand, as a proof of his willingness to bear every kind
of persecution for the sake of truth--of his steadfastness to the
principles of Orangeism, and of his actual determination to bear
violence, and, if necessary, death itself, rather than abandon it or
betray his brethren.
“About nine o'clock the business of the Lodge had been despatched,
and in a few minutes I received an intimation to enter from the Deputy
Master, who was no other than the redoubtable and heroic Phil himself;
the father having been prevented from coming, it appeared, by sudden
indisposition. As I entered, they were all seated, to the number of
thirty-five or forty, about a long table, from which rose, reeking and
warm, the powerful exhalations of strong punch. On paying my respects, I
was received and presented to them by Phil, who on this occasion, was
in great feather, being rigged out in all the paraphernalia of Deputy
Master. The rest, also, were dressed in their orange robes, which
certainly gave them a good deal of imposing effect.
“'Gentlemen,' said Phil,--'Bob Sparrow, I'll trouble you to touch the
bell, and be d--d to you--gentlemen, this is a particular friend of mine
and my father's--that is, we intend to make a good deal of interest in
him, if it's not his own fault, and to push him on in a way that may
serve him--but, then, he's in the dark yet; however, I hope he won't be
long so. This, gentlemen, is Mr. Weasel from England, who has come over
to see the country.'
“'Your health, Mr. Weasel,' resounded from all sides, 'you're welcome
among us, and so is every friend of brother Captain Phil's.'
“'Gentlemen,' said I,' I feel much obliged for the cordiality of your
reception--but, allow me to say, that Mr. M'Clutchy has made a slight
mistake in my name, which is Easel, not Weasel.'
“'Never mind, sir,' they replied, among a jingle of glasses, which
almost prevented me from being heard, 'never mind, Mr. Evil, we don't
care a curse what your name is, provided you're a good Protestant. Your
name may be Belzebub, instead of Evil, or Devil, for that matter--all we
want to know is, whether you're staunch and of the right metal.'
“'That, gentlemen,' I replied, 'I trust time will tell'
“'I shall be very proud--I speak it not, I hope, in a worldly sense,'
said a little thin man dressed in black--'no, not in a worldly sense I
shall be proud, sir, of your acquaintance. To me it is quite sufficient
that you are here as the friend of my excellent friend, Mr. Valentine
M'Clutchy; a man, I trust, not without a deep and searching spirit of--'
“'Come, Solomon,' said a large, broad-shouldered man, with a face in
which were singularly blended the almost incompatible principles of fun
and ferocity, 'Come, Solomon, none of your preaching here so soon--you
know you're not up to the praying point yet, nor within four tumblers of
it. So, as you say yourself, wait for your gifts, my lad.'
“'Ah, Tom,' replied Solomon with a smile, 'alway's facetious--always
fond of a harmless and edifying jest.'
“'My name, sir,' added he, 'is M'Slime; I have the honor to be Law Agent
to the Castle Cumber property, and occasionally to transact business
with our friend M'Clutchy.'
“Here the waiter entered with a glass and tumbler, and Phil desired them
to shove me up the decanter. This, however, I declined, as not being yet
sufficiently accustomed to whiskey punch to be able to drink it without
indisposition. I begged, however, to be allowed to substitute a little
cold sherry and water in its stead.
“'I'm afeard, sir,' observed another strong-looking man, 'that you are
likely to prove a cool Orangeman on our hands. I never saw the man that
shied his tumbler good for much.'
“'Sir,' said Solomon, 'you need not feel surprised at the tone of voice
and familiarity in which these persons address you or me. They are, so
to speak, sturdy and independent men, who, to the natural boldness
of their character, add on such occasions as this, something of the
equality and license that are necessarily to be found in an Orange
Lodge. I am myself here, I trust, on different and higher principles.
Indeed it is from a purely religious motive that I come, as well as
to give them the benefit of a frail, but not, I would hope, altogether
unedifying example. Their language makes me often feel now much I stand
in need of grace, and how good it is sometimes for me to be tempted
within my strength. I also drink punch here, lest by declining it I
might get into too strong a feeling of pride, in probably possessing
greater gifts; and I need not say, sir, that a watchful Christian will
be slow to miss any opportunity of keeping himself humble. It is, then,
for this purpose that I sometimes, when among these men, make
myself even as one of them, and humble myself, always with an eye to
edification even to the fourth or fifth cup.'
“'But I trust, sir, that these Christian descents from your vantage
ground are generally rewarded.'
“'Without boasting, I trust I may say so. These little sacrifices of
mine are not without their own appropriate compensations. Indeed, it
is seldom that such stretches of duty on the right side, and for the
improvement of others, are made altogether in vain. For instance, after
the humility--if I can call it so--of the third cup, I am rewarded
with an easy uprising of the spiritual man--a greater sense of inward
freedom--an elevation of the soul--a benign beatitude of spirit, that
diffuses a calm, serene happiness through my whole being.'
“'That, sir, must be delightful.'
“'It is delightful, but it is what these men--carnal I do not wish to
call them lest I fall--it is, however, what these men--or, indeed,
any merely carnal man, cannot feel. This, however, I feel to be a
communication made to me, that in this thing I should not for the time
stop; and I feel that I am not free to pass the fourth or fifth cup,
knowing as how greater freedom and additional privileges will be
granted.'
“'Are the stages marked, sir, between the fourth and fifth tumblers?'
“'Cups, my friend--there is a beauty, sir, in the economy of this that
is not to be concealed. For instance, the line between the third and
fourth cups is much better marked, and no doubt for wiser purposes, than
is that between the fourth and fifth. At the fourth my spirit is filled
with strong devotional tendencies--and it is given to me to address
the Lodge with something like unctional effect; but at the fifth this
ecstatic spirit rises still higher, and assumes the form of praise, and
psalms, spiritual songs, and political anthems. In this whole assembly,
I am sorry to say, that there is but one other humble individual who,
if I may so speak, is similarly gifted, and goes along with me, _pari
passu_, as they say, step by step, and cup by cup, until we reach the
highest order, which is praise. But, indeed, to persons so gifted in
their liquor, drinking is decidedly a religious exercise. That person
is the little fellow to the right of the red-faced man up yonder, the
little fellow I mean, who is pale in the face and wants an eye. His name
is Bob Spaight; he is grand cobbler, by appointment, to the Lodge, and
attends all the Popish executions in the province, from principle; for
he is, between you and me, a Christian man of high privileges. As for
our little touches of _melodia sacra_ during the fifth cup, the only
drawback is, that no matter what the measure of the psalm be, whether
long or short, Bob is sure to sing it either to the tune of _Croppies
lie Down_, or the _Boyne Water_, they being the only two he can manage;
a circumstance which forces us, however otherwise united, to part
company in the melody, unless when moved by compassion for poor Bob, I
occasionally join him in _Croppies lie Down_ or the other tune, for the
purpose of sustaining him as a Christian and Orangeman.'
“At this time it was with something like effort that he or I could
hear each other as we spoke, and, by the way, it was quite evident that
little Solomon was very nearly in all his glory, from the very slight
liquefaction of language which, might be observed in his conversation.
“It occurred to me now, that as Solomon's heart was a little bit open,
and as the tide of conversation flowed both loud and tumultuous, it was
a very good opportunity of getting out of him a tolerably fair account
of the persons by whom we were surrounded. I accordingly asked him the
name and occupation of several whom I had observed as the most striking
individuals present.
“'That large man with the red face,' said I, 'beside your pious and
musical friend Spaight--who is he?'
“'He is an Orange butcher, sir, who would think very little of giving
a knock on the head to any Protestant who won't deal with him. His
landlord's tenants are about half Catholics and half Protestants, and
as he makes it a point to leave them his custom in about equal degrees,
this fellow--who, between you and me--is right in the principle, if
he would only carry it out a little more quietly--makes it a standing
grievance every lodge night. And, by and by, you will hear them abuse
each other like pickpockets for the same reason. There is a grim-looking
fellow, with the great fists, a blacksmith, who is at deadly enmity
with that light firm-looking man--touching the shoeing of M'Clutchy's
cavalry. Val, who knows a thing or two, if I may so speak, keeps them
one off and the other on so admirably, that he contrives to get his
own horses shod and all his other iron work done, free, _gratis_, for
nothing between them. This is the truth, brother Weasel: in fact my dear
brother Weasel, it is the truth. There are few here who are not moved by
some personal hope or expectation from something or from somebody. Down
there near the door are a set of fellows--whisper in your ear--about as
great scoundrels as you could meet with; insolent, fierce, furious
men, with bad passions and no principles, whose chief delight is to get
drunk--to kick up party feuds in fairs and markets, and who have, in
fact, a natural love for strife. But all are not so. There are many
respectable men here who, though a little touched, as is only natural
after all, by a little cacoethes of self-interest, yet, never suffer it
to interfere with the steadiness and propriety of their conduct, or the
love of peace and good will. It is these men, who, in truth, sustain the
character of the Orange-Institution. These are the men of independence
and education who repress--as far as they can--the turbulence and
outrage of the others. But harken! now they begin.'
“At this moment the din in the room was excessive. Phil had now begun to
feel the influence of liquor, as was evident from the frequent thumpings
which the table received at his hand--the awful knitting of his
eyebrows, as he commanded silence--and the multiplicity of 'd--n my
honors,' which interlarded his conversation.
“'Silence, I say,' he shouted; 'd--n my honor if I'll bear this. Here's
Mr. Weasel--eh--Evil, or Devil; d--n my honor, I forget--who has come
ov--over all the way--(All the way from Galloway, is that it?--go
on)--all the way from England, to get a good sample of Protestantism to
bring home with him to distribute among his father's tenantry. Now if
he can't find that among ourselves to-night, where the devil would, or
could, or ought he to go look for it?'
“'Hurra--bravo--hear brother Captain Phil.'
“'Yes, gentlemen,' continued Phil, rising up; 'yes, Mr.
Civil--Evil--Devil; d--n my honor, I must be on it now--I am bold to say
that we are--are--a set of--'
“'Hurra--hurra--we are, brother Captain Phil'
“'And, gentlemen, not only that, but true blues. (Three cheers for the
Castle Cumber True Blue.) And what's a true blue, gentlemen? I ask
you zealously--I ask you as a gentleman--I ask you as a man--I ask you
determinedly, as one that will do or die, if it comes to that'--(here
there was a thump on the table at every word)--I ask you as an officer
of the Castle Cumber Cavalry--and, gentlemen, let any man that hears
me--that hears me, I say--because, gentlemen, I ask upon independent
principles, as the Deputy-Master of this Lodge, gentlemen--(cheers,
hurra, hurra)--and the question is an important one--one of the greatest
and most extraordinary comprehension, so to speak; because, gentlemen,
it involves--this great question does--it involves the welfare of his
majesty, gentlemen, and of the great and good King William, gentlemen,
who freed us from Pope and Popery, gentlemen, and wooden shoes,
gentlemen--'
“'But not from wooden spoons, gentlemen,' in a disguised voice from the
lower end of the table.
“'Eh?--certainly not--certainly not--I thank my worthy brother for
the hint. No, gentlemen, we unfortunately have wooden spoons up to
the present day; but, gentlemen, if we work well together--if we be
in earnest--if we draw the blade and throw away the scabbard, like our
brothers, the glorious heroes of Scullabogue--there is as little doubt,
gentlemen, as that the sun this moment--the moon, gentlemen; I beg
pardon--shines this moment, that we will yet banish wooden spoons, as
the great and good King William did Popery, brass money, and wooden
shoes. Gentlemen, you will excuse me for this warmth; but I am not
ashamed of it--it is the warmth, gentlemen, that keeps us cool in the
moment--the glorious, pious and immortal moment of danger and true
loyalty, and attachment to our Church, which we all love and practise
on constitutional principles. I trust, gentlemen, you will excuse me
for this historical account of my feelings--they are the principles,
gentlemen, of a gentleman--of a man--of an officer of the Castle Cumber
Cavalry--and lastly of him who has the honor--the glorious, pious,
and immortal honor, I may say, to hold the honorable situation of
Deputy-Master of this honorable Lodge. Gentlemen, I propose our charter
toast, with nine times nine--the glorious, pious, and immortal memory.
Take the time, gentlemen, from me--hip, hip, hurra.'
“'Brother M'Clutchy,' said a solemn-looking man, dressed in black, 'you
are a little out of order--or if not out of order, you have, with
great respect, travelled beyond the usages of the Lodge. In the first
place--of course you will pardon me--I speak with great respect--but, in
the first place, you have proposed the charter toast, before that of
the King, Protestant Ascendancy, Church and State; and besides, have
proposed it with nine times nine, though it is always drunk in solemn
silence.'
“'In all truth and piety, I deny that,' replied little Bob Spaight.
'When I was in Lodge Eleventeen, eleven-teen--no, seventeen, ay,
seventeen--we always, undher God, drank it with cheers. Some of them
danced--but othes I won't name them, that were more graciously gifted,
chorused it with that blessed air of '_Croppies lie Down_,' and
sometimes with the precious psalm of the '_Boyne Water_.'
“'I'm obliged to Mr. Hintwell for his observations, for I'm sure they
were well meant; but, gentlemen, with every respect for his--his greater
and more tractable qualifications, I must say, that I acted from zeal,
from zeal--zeal, gentlemen, what's an Orangeman without zeal? I'll tell
you what he is--an Orangeman without zeal is a shadow without a light,
a smoke without a fire,' or a Papist without treason. That's what he's
like, and now, having answered him, I think I may sit down.'
“Phil, however, whose first night of office it happened to be, as
Chairman of the Lodge, had still sense enough about him to go on with
the toasts in their proper order. He accordingly commenced with the
King, Protestant Ascendancy, the Gates of Bandon, with several other
toasts peculiar to the time and place. At length he rose and said:--
“'Gentlemen, are you charged--fill high, gentlemen, for, though it's a
low toast, we'll gloriously rise and drink it--are you all charged?'
“'All charged, hurra, captain!'
“'Here, gentlemen, another of our charter toast--The pope in the
pillory, the pillory in hell, and the devils pelting him with priests!
Gentlemen, I cannot let that--that beautiful toast pass without--out
adding a few words to it. Gentlemen it presents a glorious sight, a
glorious, pious, and immortal memory of the great and good--ha, beg
pardon, gentlemen--a glorious, pious, and immortal sight--think of the
pillory, gentlemen, isn't that in itself a glorious and pious sight? And
think of the pope, gentlemen; isn't the pope also a glorious and pious
sight?'
“'With all truth and piety, and undher God, I deny that,' said Bob
Spaight.
“'And so do I,' said a second.
“'And I,' added a third.
“'What damned Popish doctrine is this?' said several others.
“'Brother Phil, be good enough to recollect yourself,' said Solomon,
'we feel, that as a Protestant and Orangeman, you are not doctrinally
correct now; be steady, or rather steadfast--fast in the faith.'
“Phil, however, looked oracles, his whole face and person were literally
being expanded, as it were, with the consciousness of some immediate
triumph.
“'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'have a little patience--I say the pope is a
glorious and pious sight--'
“'Undher God--'
“'Silence Bob.'
“'But I mean when he's in the pillory--ek; d--n my honor, I have you all
there! ha, ha, ha!'
“'Hurra, hurra, three cheers more for the captain!'
“'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'please to fill again--I give you now the
Castle Cumber press, the _True Blue and Equivocal_, with the healths of
Messrs. Yellowboy and Cantwell.'
“'Hurra! Messrs. Yallowboy and Cant-well! hurra, Mr. Yellow, Mr.
Yellow.'
“Mr. Yellowboy, who had not been able to come earlier, in consequence of
the morrow being publishing day with him, now rose. He was a tall, thin,
bony-looking person, who might very well have taken his name from his
complexion.
“'Mr. Chairman, gentlemen, and brothers--I rise with great and powerful
diffidence to speak, to express myself, and to utter my sentiments
before this most respectable, and, what is more, truly loyal
auditory--hem. In returning thanks, gentlemen, for the Castle Cumber
True Blue (cheers), I am sure I am not actuated by any motive but that
staunch and loyal one which stimulates us all--hem. The True Blue,
gentlemen, is conducted--has been conducted--and shall be conducted to
all eternity--should I continue to be so long at the head of it--so long
I say, gentlemen'--here the speaker's eye began to roll--and he slapped
the table with vehemence--'I shall, if at the head of it so long,
conduct it to all eternity upon the self-same, identical, underivating
principles that have identified me with it for the last six months.
What's Pruddestantism, gentlemen, without a bold, straightforward press
to take care of its pruvileges and interests? It's nothing, gentlemen.'
“'Undher God, sir, and with all piety and perseverance I deny--'
“'Silence, brother Bob, don't interrupt Mr. Yellowboy, he'll make
himself plain by and by.'
“'I deny--'
“'Silence--I say.'
“'Nothing, gentlemen--a candle that's of no use unless it's lit--and
the press is the match that lights it (hurra, cheers). But, as I said
in defending Pruddestantism, we advocate civil and religious liberty all
over the world--I say so boldly--for, gentlemen, whatever I say, I do
say boldly'--here he glanced at the Equivocal--'I am not the man to
present you with two faces--or I'm not the man rather to carry
two faces--and only show you one of them--I'm not the man to make
prutensions as a defender of civil and religious liberty, with a
Protestant face to the front of my head, and a Popish face in
my pocket--to be produced for the adversary of Popery and
idolatry--whenever I can conciliate a clique by doing so.' Here there
was a look of sarcastic defiance turned upon Cantwell--who, conscious of
his own integrity--merely returned it with a meek and benignant smile, a
la Solomon.
“'No, gentlemen, I am none of those things--but a bold, honest,
uncompermising Pruddestant--who will support the church and Constitution
for ever--who will uphold Pruddestant Ascendancy to the Day of
Judgment--keep down Popery and treason--and support civil and religious
liberty over the world to all eternity.'
“'Cheers--hurra--hurra--success brother Yellowboy.'
“'And now, gentlemen, before I sit down there is but one observation
more that I wish to make. If it was only idontified with myself I would
never notice it--but it's not only idontified with me but with you,
gentlemen--for I am sorry to say there is a snake in the grass--a base,
dangerous, Equivocal, crawling reptile among us--who, wherever truth and
loyalty is concerned, never has a leg to stand upon, or can put a pen
to paper but with a deceitful calumniating attention. He who can divulge
the secrets of our Lodge'--(Here there was another furious look sent
across which received a polite bow and smile as before)--'who can
divulge, gentlemen, the secrets of our Lodge, and allude to those who
have been there--I refer, gentlemen, to a paragraph that appeared in the
Equivocal some time ago--in which a hint was thrown out that I was found
by the editor of that paper lying-drunk in the channel of Castle Cumber
Main-street, opposite his office--that he brought me in, recovered
me, and then helped me home. Now, gentlemen, I'll just mention one
circumstance that will disprove the whole base and calumnious charge--it
is this--on rising next morning I found that I had eight and three
halfpence safe in my pocket--and yet that reptile says that he carried
me into his house!!! Having thus, gentlemen, triumphantly refuted that
charge, I have the pleasure of drinking your healths--the healths of all
honest men, and confusion to those who betray the secrets of an Orange
Lodge!'
“As each paper had its party in the Lodge, it is not to be supposed that
this attack upon the Editor of the Equivocal was at all received with
unanimous approbation. Far from it. Several hisses were given, which
again were met by cheers, and these by counter cheers. In this
disorder Mr. Cantwell rose, his face beaming with mildness and
benignity--sweetness and smiles--and having bowed, stood all meekness
and patience until the cheering was over.
“'Brother Cantwell,' said Solomon, 'remember to discard
self-reliance--let thy sup--support be from '--but before he could
finish, brother Cantwell turned round, and blandly bowing to him, seemed
to say--for-he did not speak--
“'My dear brother M'Slime, I follow your admirable advice; you see I
do--I shall'
“'Mr. Chairman,' said he, 'gentlemen and dear brothers'--here he paused
a moment, whilst calmly removing the tumbler out of his way that he
might have room to place his hand upon the table and gently lean towards
the chairman. He then serenely smoothed down the frill of his shirt,
during which his friends cheered--and ere commencing he gave them
another short, and, as it were, parenthetical bow. 'Mr. Chairman,
gentlemen, and dear brothers, I do not rise upon this very unpleasant
occasion--unpleasant to me it is, but not on my account--for the purpose
of giving vent to the coarse effusions of an unlettered mind, that
shapes its vulgar outpourings in bad language and worse feeling. No, I
am incapable of the bad feeling, in the first place, and, thanks to
my education, of illiterate language, in the second. It has pleased my
friend Mr. Yellowboy--if he will still allow me to call him so--for I
appeal to you all whether it becomes those who sit under this hallowed
roof to disagree--it has pleased him, I say, to bring charges against
me, to some of which I certainly must plead guilty--if guilt there be
in it. It has pleased him to charge me with the unbrotherly crime, the
unchristian crime, the un-orange crime'--here he smiled more blandly
at every term, and then brought his smiling eye to bear on his
antagonist--'of lifting him out of the channel about twelve o'clock
at night, where he lay--I may say so among ourselves--in state of most
comfortable, but un-orange-like intoxication.'
“The audience now being mostly drunk, were tickled with this compliment
to their sobriety, and cheered and shouted for more than a minute. 'Go
on Cantwell! By Japers, you're no blockhead!'
“'Under Providence, and with all piety I say it, he will vanquish the
yallow sinner over there.'
“'Brother Cantwell,' observed Mr. M'Slime, 'go on--the gift is not
withheld.'
“Another smiling bow to M'Slime, as much as to say, 'I know it's not--I
feel it's not.'
“'This, gentlemen, and dear brothers, was my crime--I acted the good
Samaritan towards him--that was my crime. May I often commit it!'
“'Is that your pretended charity, sir?' said Yellowboy, whose temper
was sorely tried by the other's calmness; 'don't you know, sir, that you
cannot become the Samaritan unless I become the drunkard? and yet you
hope often to commit it!'
“No notice whatsoever taken of this.
“'--But perhaps there was still a greater crime in this affair. I
allude to the crime of having, after the account of his frailty had
taken wind through the whole country, ventured to defend it, or rather
to place it in such a light as might enable the public to place it to
the account of mere animal exhaustion, independent of the real
cause. And I have reason to know, that to a very enlarged extent I
succeeded--for many persons having heard of the circumstance in its
worse and most offensive sense, actually came to my office--'
“'Yes, after you had made it public, as far as you could.'
“'--To my office, to inquire into it. And I assure you all, gentlemen,
that from motives at once of the Christian and the Orangeman, I merely
informed them that the gentleman had certainly had, about the time
specified, a very severe fit--I did not add of intoxication--oh the
contrary, I charitably stopped there, and now it would appear that this
forbearance on my part is another crime. But even that is not all. The
occasion which called forth the paragraph in the paper which I have
honor to conduct, was one which I shall just allude to. Some time ago
there was inserted in the True Blue a short article headed 'Susanna and
the Elder,' in which certain vague and idle reports, fabricated by some
person who bears enmity to a most respectable Christian gentleman, who
honors us this moment with his presence--'
“Solomon here approached him, and grasping his hand, exclaimed--
“'Thank you, my dear brother Cantwell--thank you a hundred times;
yours is the part of a true Christian; so go on, I entreat you--here is
nothing to be ashamed of--I know it is good to be tried.'
“'Now it was really the charity contained in the article from the True
Blue that struck me so forcibly--for it not only breathed the scandal so
gently, as that it would scarcely stain a mirror--and it did not stain
the mirror against which the report was directed--but it placed it as
it were, before his eyes, that he might not be maligned without his
knowledge, on taking steps to triumph over it, which our friend did--and
great was his triumph and meekly was it borne on the occasion. With
respect to my political creed, gentlemen, you all know it is my boast
that I belong to no party. I advocate broad and general principles; and
the more comprehensive they are, so does my love of kind take a wider
range. I am a patriot, that is my boast--a moderate man--an educated
man; I am, at least, a competent master of the English language, which I
trust I can write and speak like a gentleman. I am not given to low
and gross habits of life; I am never found in a state of beastly
intoxication late at night, or early in the day; nor do I suffer my
paper to become the vehicle of gratifying that private slander or
personal resentment which I am not capable of writing myself, and
have not the courage to acknowledge as a man. I am not a poor, kicked,
horse-whipped, and degraded scoundrel, whose malignity is only surpassed
by my cowardice--whose principal delight is to stab in the dark--a
lurking assassin, but not an open murderer--a sneaking, skulking thief,
without the manliness of the highwayman--a pitiful, servile--but, I
believe, I have said enough. Well, gentlemen, I trust I am none of
these; nor am I saying who is. Perhaps it would be impossible to find
them all centred in the same man; but if it were, it would certainly
be quite as extraordinary to find that man seated at an Orange Lodge.
Brother Yellowboy, I have the pleasure of drinking your health.'
“Brother Yellowboy felt that he was no match at all for Cantwell; so in
order to escape the further venom of his tongue, he drank his in return,
and joined in the cheers with which his speech was received; for by this
time the audience cared not a fig what was said by either party.”