beautiful gift one person can make to another. It shows taste and a love
of nature, and nothing finds more appreciation in the hearts of womankind
than flowers. Be careful in your selection; suit the color and quality
to the taste and dress of the lady. Have them tastily laid in a box,
loosely, if merely as a favor; but if for a dance or entertainment, the
best way is to gather the flowers loosely half-way down the stems, and
tie with ribbon harmonizing in color, placing at the end of the bouquet
a bunch of leaves to hide the stems. Always send the flowers in a box;
do not carry them to the lady yourself—if in a hurry, call a messenger.
Flowers may be sent to any lady, married or maiden, but never send them
as a wedding present. When desirous of sending flowers to a lady with
whom you are about to attend an affair, first ascertain whether she
desires to wear flowers, and the color of the gown she intends wearing.
It is hardly the fashion nowadays to carry hand-bouquets; only loose
flowers to be worn on the dress should be sent.
2. Jewelry should be given as seldom as possible outside of your own
family, dear relatives, or _fiancée_. If given to others, it should be
very small, cost little, and not be too elaborate; having merely enough
beauty about it to convey the feeling and intention of the gift. A costly
present of this class is seldom appreciated as it should be, unless it is
given to a lady who stands, or intends to stand, in a very dear position
towards you, or to a gentleman friend of long standing and sincere
friendship. The only exception allowable for costly gifts of jewelry
outside of those rules already stated is in cases of marriage; where
the act of presentation of jewels would furnish no ground of suspicion
further than extravagance. Whether for a wedding or an ordinary gift,
jewelry should always be sent in a box from the store direct, or by
messenger; never present it in person. And when calling subsequently
refuse the acceptation of thanks.
3. For bon-bons and elaborate boxes, also for articles not classed as
jewelry, a much more lenient rule is applied. In fact, except for mere
acquaintances, a present of this kind may be given to any one, friend or
relative, married or unmarried. These, too, are not to be delivered in
person, but sent with card from store or by messenger. In such presents,
as in others, taste and fine judgment should be exercised. To a gift of
any kind whatsoever an answer should not be expected for three days.
4. Photographs should never be solicited from a mere acquaintance. Wait
till you know a lady well before asking for her likeness. No gentleman
should be allowed to possess, nor should he seek to possess, a lady’s
picture without first having met her at least seven times. He must
first so establish his friendship with her that when he asks for her
likeness she cannot justly use the common expression that “he must have
her photograph for fear he might forget her face,” but would understand
that his desire for it comes straight from the heart, and not with the
intention of adding to a variety collection. And it is also unnecessary
to comply with a like request from the lady till of fast acquaintance.
An exchange of photographs is generally the safest way of overcoming any
doubt which may arise in your mind as to the disposition which the lady
will make of your picture, for then the maxim can be applied—“It’s a poor
rule which can’t work both ways.”
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
GENERAL POLITENESS