ESSENTIAL CUSTOMS FOR GENTLEMEN
CONTENTS
PAGE
INTRODUCTION 81
ACTIONS INDOORS 85
(1) LEAVING THE ROOM—(2) WALK INDOORS—(3)
MEETING ON STAIRS—(4) HAT INDOORS—(5)
BODY-COAT INDOORS—(6) OVERCOAT INDOORS—(7)
UNTIDY APPEARANCE—(8) CARDS—(9)
CALLING—(10) IN COMPANY—(11) RECEPTIONS
AND TEAS—(12) LUNCHEONS—(13) PARTIES—(14)
DINNERS—(15) DANCING—(16) BALLS,
DANCING CLASSES, THEATER PARTIES AND
RECEPTIONS—(17) BOWLING—(18) MUSICALES AND
MATINÉE PARTIES—(19) AMATEUR THEATRICALS
AND RECITATIONS—(20) BREAKFASTS—(21) VOCAL
AND INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
ACTIONS OUTDOORS 112
(1) WALKING—(2) PROMENADING—(3) JOINING
LADY—(4) PAYING OUT MONEY—(5) TAKING SEAT
IN PUBLIC CONVEYANCE—(6) DRIVING—(7)
RIDING—(8) SAILING
PERSONAL APPEARANCE 126
(1) HANDS—(2) FACE—(3) TEETH—(4) HAIR—(5)
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS—(6) POSITION
HABITS 131
(1) SMOKING—(2) DRINKING—(3) CHEWING—(4)
STRETCHING AND YAWNING
CONVERSATION 134
(1) GENERAL—(2) GRAMMAR—(3) LAUGHING—(4)
COMPLIMENTS AND FLATTERY—(5) SMALL TALK
CORRESPONDENCE AND INVITATIONS 138
PERSONAL ACTIONS 146
(1) ESCORTS—(2) EXTRAVAGANCE—(3)
KISSING—(4) FAMILIARITY—(5) CHAPERONS—(6)
HANDSHAKING—(7) KISSING HAND—(8) GENTLEMAN
ENGAGED—(9) INTRODUCTIONS
PROPOSING 159
PRESENTS 165
(1) FLOWERS—(2) JEWELRY—(3) BON-BONS—(4)
PHOTOGRAPHS
GENERAL POLITENESS 170
(1) INSULTS—(2) EMBARRASSMENTS—(3) TEMPER
VISITING 176
(1) ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS—(2) DUTIES OF
VISITOR
_INTRODUCTION_
_Before entering upon my subject, I would first state that this work is
unlike former books on manners and etiquette, for it seeks not as in
those cases to establish rules, enjoining the reader to be controlled
thereby, nor does it define customs and force them upon his knowledge. It
merely touches upon usages of sufficiently long standing to constitute
customs of society, reviews them before his mind, and classes them
as faults if not properly practised, and gives the remedies of those
faults. Also it defines customs which are practised too exactly to appear
natural, and shows wherein they can be modified. In this work there are
no monotonous rules imperatively laid down and the subjects are not
tiresomely strained. The most important customs only are described, with
their modifying rules; and though the work may say what should be done
or omitted, yet it leaves it to the option of the reader whether or not
he will perfect his social training by a recognition and due exercise
thereof._
_To classify the subjects under two general heads, I would first speak of
“Appearance.”_
_There is no necessity for a gentleman to give opportunities for others
to criticize his appearance. There is no reason why a gentleman should
not at any and all times present a complete and neat attire. Dress,
extravagant or plain, can always have such an effect, if care and
taste are exercised. If he is in doubt as to his own ability to dress
tastefully, then he should submit himself to tuition, or, if he is too
proud to disclose his ignorance in the matter, he should take careful
notice of the appearance and good taste displayed by others, and
endeavor to gain knowledge therefrom. In order to carry out my advice, it
is only necessary that a gentleman should either possess or acquire good
taste, and refer entirely to styles established by custom, as elucidated
in Part 1. of this book._
_The second head of customs is “Manner.” For a gentleman should not
present a perfect appearance as to dress, and at the same time accompany
his good taste with bad or impolite manners. A gentleman should have
a thorough knowledge of polite manners as established by custom, such
as are defined in this work. I mention only the most important ones,
it being immaterial to go into the minor branches of etiquette and
manners, as they naturally follow in consequence of a due exercise of the
more important ones. It is a very simple matter to cultivate easy and
graceful manners, and just as easy to use those manners in a polite and
gentlemanly way, no matter how or under what circumstances one may be
placed in society._
_And now I think my reader is prepared for a perusal of what I would term
not a classification of rules, but a kind of outline history of customs
as they should be recognized._
[Illustration]
ACTIONS INDOORS