As his Excellency Prince Popanilla really could not think of being
annoyed by the attentions of the mob during his visit to Blunderland,
he travelled quite in a quiet way, under the name of the Chevalier de
Fantaisie, and was accompanied only by Skindeep and two attendants. As
Blunderland was one of the islands of the Vraibleusian Archipelago, they
arrived there after the sail of a few hours.
The country was so beautiful that the Chevalier was almost reminded of
Fantaisie. Green meadows and flourishing trees made him remember the
railroads and canals of Vraibleusia without regret, or with disgust,
which is much the same. The women were angelic, which is the
highest praise; and the men the most light-hearted, merry, obliging,
entertaining fellows that he had met with in the whole course of his
life. Oh! it was delicious.
After an hour’s dashing drive, he arrived at a city which, had he not
seen Hubbabub, he should have imagined was one of the most considerable
in the world; but compared with the Vraibleusian capital it was a
street.
Shortly after his arrival, according to the custom of the place,
Popanilla joined the public table of his hotel at dinner. He was
rather surprised that, instead of knives and forks being laid for
the convenience of the guests, the plates were flanked by daggers and
pistols. As Popanilla now made a point of never asking a question of
Skindeep, he addressed himself for information to his other neighbour,
one of the civilest, most hospitable, and joyous rogues that ever set a
table in a roar. On Popanilla inquiring the reason of their using these
singular instruments, his neighbour, with an air of great astonishment,
confessed his ignorance of any people ever using any other; and in
his turn asked how they could possibly eat their dinner without. The
Chevalier was puzzled, but he was now too well bred ever to pursue an
inquiry.
Popanilla, being thirsty, helped himself to a goblet of water, which was
at hand. It was the most delightful water that he ever tasted. In a few
minutes he found that he was a little dizzy, and, supposing this megrim
to be occasioned by the heat of the room, he took another draught of
water to recover himself.
As his neighbour was telling him an excellent joke a man entered the
room and shot the joker through the head. The opposite guest immediately
charged his pistol with effect, and revenged the loss. A party of men,
well armed, now rushed in, and a brisk conflict immediately ensued.
Popanilla, who was very dizzy, was fortunately pushed under the table.
When the firing and slashing had ceased, he ventured to crawl out. He
found that the assailants had been beaten off, though unfortunately with
the total loss of all the guests, who lay lifeless about the room. Even
the prudent Skindeep, who had sought refuge in a closet, had lost his
nose, which was a pity; because, although this gentleman had never been
in Blunderland before, he had passed his whole life in maintaining
that the accounts of the disturbances in that country were greatly
exaggerated. Popanilla rang the bell, and the waiters, who were
remarkably attentive, swept away the dead bodies, and brought him a
roasted potato for supper.
The Chevalier soon retired to rest. He found at the side of his bed a
blunderbuss, a cutlass, and a pike; and he was directed to secure the
door of his chamber with a great chain and a massy iron bar. Feeling
great confidence in his securities, although he was quite ignorant of
the cause of alarm, and very much exhausted with the bustle of the day,
he enjoyed sounder sleep than had refreshed him for many weeks. He was
awakened in the middle of the night by a loud knocking at his door. He
immediately seized his blunderbuss, but, recognising the voice of his
own valet, he only took his pike. His valet told him to unbar without
loss of time, for the house had been set on fire. Popanilla immediately
made his escape, but found himself surrounded by the incendiaries. He
gave himself up for lost, when a sudden charge of cavalry brought him
off in triumph. He was convinced of the utility of light-horse.
The military had arrived with such despatch that the fire was the least
effective that had wakened the house for the whole week. It was soon
extinguished, and Popanilla again retired to his bedroom, not forgetting
his bar and his chain.
In the morning Popanilla was roused by his landlord, who told him that a
large party was about to partake of the pleasures of the chase, and
most politely inquired whether he would like to join them. Popanilla
assented, and after having eaten an excellent breakfast, and received a
favourable bulletin of Skindeep’s wound, he mounted his horse. The party
was numerous and well armed. Popanilla inquired of a huntsman what sport
they generally followed in Blunderland. According to the custom of this
country, where they never give a direct answer, the huntsman said
that he did not know that there was any other sport but one. Popanilla
thought him a brute, and dug his spurs into his horse.
They went off at a fine rate, and the exercise was most exhilarating.
In a short time, as they were cantering along a defile, they received a
sharp fire from each side, which rather reduced their numbers; but they
revenged themselves for this loss when they regained the plain, where
they burnt two villages, slew two or three hundred head of women, and
bagged children without number. On their return home to dinner they
chased a small body of men over a heath for nearly two hours, which
afforded good sport; but they did not succeed in running them down, as
they themselves were in turn chased by another party. Altogether, the
day was not deficient in interest, and Popanilla found in the evening
his powers of digestion improved.
After passing his days in this manner for about a fortnight, Popanilla
perfectly recovered from his dyspepsia; and Skindeep’s wound having
now healed, he retired with regret from this healthy climate. He took
advantage of the leisure moment which was afforded during the sail to
inquire the reason of the disturbed state of this interesting
country. He was told that it was in consequence of the majority of the
inhabitants persisting in importing their own pine-apples.