INDIAN HOME LIFE
Although the women are supposed to have no religious standing and are
considered unfit to read the Vedas or touch the consecrated gods, still
their entire life is influenced by religion or superstition, and the
religion and superstition of the Eastern woman, of whatever land, is so
inextricably entwined, that it is hard to tell where one leaves off and
the other begins. Like her sisters of China and Egypt, she is afraid of
the evil eye. She firmly believes that if her jewels, her dress, or her
children are looked upon with jealous or covetous eyes, much sorrow will
come to her, and she has many charms and ceremonies with which to
counteract the baneful influence of spiteful persons. It is never wise
for a visitor to regard a baby too closely or to admire its jewels or
clothing openly, as, even if the mother is one of the advanced minority,
instinct will assert itself, and deep within her heart, bred there by
centuries of tradition, will be a little feeling that something _might_
happen to her dear one. Quite likely, when the unwise caller departs,
the mother will make a lamp of kneaded rice flour and fill it with oil
or clarified butter, which, when lighted and passed round the baby’s
head, will remove the dreaded evil.
The Hindu woman’s life is ruled by omens to a far greater extent than is
the life of the woman of the Western world. If she is starting on a
visit to a friend, it is a very bad sign for her to meet a widow, any
one carrying a new pot, a bundle of firewood, a pariah, a lame man, two
men quarrelling, a leper—in fact, there are about a dozen things she
should avoid, or else be under the necessity of returning to her home
and saying a few prayers before daring to start on her journey again. If
she should sneeze once, it is most unfortunate, and should be followed
by a second in order to avert the evil, but if the second sneeze is
followed by others, the more the better, it is a most certain sign that
her most ardent wishes will soon be granted. When one yawns it is polite
to snap the fingers and say, “Govinda, Govinda,” as many believe that
the life may leave the body while yawning, and to avert this calamity
from a baby the mother snaps her fingers and murmurs, “Krishna,
Krishna,” in its tiny ears.
Mohammedan and Hindu customs are so much alike that it is often hard to
say that one is a Mohammedan custom or that another is purely Hindu. At
the marriages, and the return of the daughter to her home to give birth
to her first child, at the birth of the children, and in many of the
social customs of the Mohammedans are seen the influence of the Hindu
religion. It was the Mohammedans who brought the “purdah” system, or the
seclusion of women, into India. Before the invasion of these warlike
people the women of India went about freely, but now the Hindus are
practically as secluded as are the Mohammedan women. In the North, where
the influence of the followers of the Arabian prophet made itself most
dominant, the women are much more secluded than in the South, where the
Mohammedans did not come in such large numbers.
It is in the villages that true India is to be found, unchanging,
languorous India. Here is a self-centered commonwealth, with little
dependence for its welfare upon the outer world, and the people have
remained the same as their fathers and their father’s fathers,
impervious to new innovations and ideas. To look at one of these
villages is very different from ideas one may have formed of them by
reading books of travel. The first impression received upon entering one
is that of an enlarged barnyard, as cows and farm implements take entire
possession of the narrow streets. The low, thatched mud houses are
without doors, windows, or chimneys. The floor is generally plastered
with cow dung, which, when dry, leaves a hard shellac-like polish,
considered by the natives most sanitary. It has to be redone every two
weeks, and to Western eyes is a most unsightly operation, as it is done
with the hands of the housewife. It is said that when the Salvation Army
sent its first volunteers to India, they required them to live the life
of the Indian, and that this smearing of the earthen floors with the
national substitute for varnish was one of the chief causes why women
were not always ready to volunteer for service in the East.
There is virtually no furniture in the homes. The stove consists of
three or four bricks, around which the fuel, consisting of dried cakes
of mud and cowdung, are broken, and which smoulder rather than burn. A
few earthenware pots and a large dish in which to serve the food, some
brass utensils, and a large jar for carrying water, complete the
culinary arrangements. For plates, banana or plantain leaves are used,
or, lacking these, small leaves are sewn together. This saves the
drudgery of washing dishes, as the leaves are thrown away after each
meal, and the fingers are used in place of the knives and forks of the
more aesthetic races. Chairs and tables are not needed, as the Indian
squats upon his haunches, as only an Oriental can; and in silence,
regarding only his own food, to which he helps himself from the central
dish, he eats his meal. When the lord of the household has finished, he
graciously allows his wife to eat from the same leaf. No Indian woman
who conforms to the customs of her race ever eats at the table with the
men of her household, yet this is not confined to the women of India.
The separation of the men from the women at the dinner-table is
practised by all Orientals. The women of China and Japan eat with the
younger children when the master of the house has finished, and no
Egyptian husband, unless one of the small class who have become
thoroughly Westernized, would think of inviting his wife to share with
him his evening meal.
In the village homes the man shows his superiority also in the fact that
the only bed in the house of the peasant or workman is that for the
master, if bed it can be called—simply a rough framework of wood with
coir ropes strung across it. The extra wardrobe of the family, if they
are so fortunate as to possess more than the one garment which they
wear, is hung on a pole in a corner of the room, and need not take much
space, as the clothing of India’s poor is scant—a loin-cloth, a sheet
for the shoulders, and a long piece of cotton for the head suffices him.
His wife will only possess a tight-fitting little bodice, and six yards
of cloth which she will drape gracefully around her body, making it
serve both as dress and head covering. Yet the woman’s arms are covered
often with bracelets, anklets tinkle as she walks, and as she draws her
sari across her face when passing the stranger, the glint of a nose-ring
is seen, or the light flashes from a necklace that rests against her
brown skin. This jewellery may be of gold, silver, brass, or even of
glass, but the woman of the village loves these aids to feminine charms
as well as does her city sister. In the olden time the peasant had no
trust in banks, and when he accumulated a few extra rupees, he added a
bangle to his wife’s arm, or bought a nose or ear-ring. It served the
double purpose of saving money which might be foolishly spent at the
autumn fair, and also was easy to take to the moneylender in times of
stress. There are many thousands of pounds of gold that go into India
each year and disappear. The officials say it is turned into jewellery
for these wives and daughters of India’s great middle class, who seem
never too poor to have a touch of gold or silver upon the persons of
their womenfolk.
The village wife is relieved of the necessity of providing clothing for
the children, because until they are seven or eight years old an amulet
string or a silver anklet completes their wardrobe. There are many of
these little brown bodies around every doorway, looking like
dark-skinned cupids. One rarely sees a child in India with a bad skin,
which perhaps is due to the oil-baths which they receive in early
childhood. Mothers bathe their babies in oil, then wash it off with a
vegetable soap, leaving the skin soft and shining as satin. This is a
luxury indulged in by older people also, and the giving of oils for the
bath is a favourite present among friends.
In the shade of the porch is often seen a cradle, a very simple affair
made of four pieces of wood with a hammock of cloth held between them.
Around the top of the cloth is arranged baby’s toys so that he may lie
and amuse himself, which is quite necessary where the mother has as many
household duties to attend to as the Indian farmer’s wife. In places
where the woman is working in the field, the baby may be seen wrapped in
a hammock-like affair and tied to the limb of a tree; and it is a common
practice among labouring women, I am told, to give the babies a drug to
keep them quiet while the mothers work. Opium is very generally used in
India, especially among the higher classes, although forbidden by both
Hindu and the Mohammedan religion. It is supposed to invigorate the
aged, and an Indian told me that he thoroughly believed that all men
after they pass the age of fifty were better for the moderate use of
opium.
The wife of the village man or peasant is not “purdah nashim,” or
secluded, as is the wife of the rich man. She takes her share in the
agricultural work, besides carrying water from the village well, making
the cakes of fuel and plastering them against the side of the house to
dry, grinding the meal, husking the rice, washing the clothing, and
cooking the meals. Yet with all her work the monotony of her life is
broken by many feasts and ceremonies in which she takes a part. Each
district and temple has its own particular fête day, and there are many
family feasts where work is given up at the time of special rejoicing.
Relatives and friends meet together, the houses are decorated, bright
saris are brought forth, and the time is spent in pleasure and
merry-making. There are eighteen obligatory feasts in the year for the
orthodox Hindu, but only a few of the principal ones are celebrated.
Many of the ceremonies in the home originated in sanitary laws, which
would not have been obeyed unless the people were made to believe that
they were of divine origin. At a certain time of the year when smallpox
is rife, and the epidemic has passed, there is a worship of the
“Mother,” which requires the house to be thoroughly cleaned and
purified, all the old vessels broken, all old clothing burned or placed
in the sun for a certain time, before the women are permitted to go to
the temple to worship their favourite goddess. There is another spring
feast, when the women go down to the water dressed in yellow, and send
small lighted lamps down the stream to the spring goddess. At the feast
of the serpents the villagers take offerings to the sand-hills, and pour
milk and honey into the holes where the snakes are supposed to dwell,
asking protection of these gods of wisdom, who especially guard the eyes
of their worshippers. At another feast the women take red water and
sprinkle it upon each other, rejoicing over the slaying of the giant god
of evil. The girls take part in a pretty feast in the fall, when they
decorate their little brothers with flowers and garland the houses, and
at night light innumerable little lamps, making a village look like a
miniature fairyland.
The village women appear rather sullen, but when known they are found to
be as happy as is the wife of the average working man. If there is no
drought drying up the crops, if no disease comes to the cattle, if the
moneylender is not too avaricious, if a few pennies can be saved to buy
bracelets from the bangle-man at the annual festival, and if the gods do
not disgrace her by sending too many daughters, she is happy. Yet the
village woman and her family are always but half a step in advance of
the waiting wolf; famine comes with swiftness, and quick deaths from
plagues to hundreds of thousands of these peasant people, who constitute
nine-tenths of the population of India.
The life of the women in the small towns and villages is like life in
another world compared to that led by the women in the large cities of
Calcutta or Bombay or Madras. Here the Indian lady seems to be trying to
lose her national characteristics, and Indian society is very
disappointing to a visitor from the West who wishes to see something of
the life lived by the lady of India. It seems to be merely a copy of the
life of the English society woman, and her day is filled with teas,
society concerts, and receptions. Their homes are thoroughly English in
every department, their drawing-rooms are filled with English
bric-à-brac, they go to the entertainments in most luxurious motors;
their children, dressed in European clothes, are brought down to see the
guest by an English governess, and English is the language of the home.
Many of the Indian women are members of clubs, musical societies, and
are taking active part in the charities for the benefit of their people.
The Indian woman wields a strong influence over her husband, and has
more of a place in the life around her than we imagine, from the stories
we hear of unhappy days spent “Behind Zenana Bars.” We are apt to
consider the secluded, shut-in Eastern woman as a cowed, frightened
creature, afraid to say her soul is her own, while among the better
class, at least, it is quite the contrary. It takes a brave man to go
absolutely against the wishes of his womenfolk, as they have the
advantage of numbers in their favour. In every great household there are
innumerable women relatives, satellites, and servants revolving around
the personality of the mistress. These Eastern women have been schooled
in the art of intrigue and understand thoroughly the efficacy of passive
resistance. If the wife wishes to accomplish a certain object, and is
able to enlist the women of the household on her side, the man will be
compelled sooner or later to submit to her wishes.
The older, conservative women are very tyrannical, and try their best to
combat the newer ideas brought to the zenanas by their sons and
daughters. Many of the younger generation are trying to break from the
patriarchal custom of all the family living under one roof. They say it
is very fine in theory, and has worked with good results in the
villages, but that it has many bad points, the chief of which is that it
allows no expression of individuality. The personality must be sunk in
the family. When all the men will work and become producers and
contributors to the family fund, it makes for harmony in the home, but
when some are drones and live on the toil of others, it makes the burden
too heavy for the few and causes quarrels and dissensions.
Women are helpless in India in the earning of a living for themselves,
and if widowhood comes they must depend for support on some male
relative of their own or of the family of their deceased husband. I know
a boy of eighteen who is the only support of his wife, his aunt, a
widow, his widowed mother, and his young sister. He was compelled to
leave school and take a position in an office in order to take care of
all these women, as he was the responsible head of the family. It is
hard for a boy who is ambitious and anxious to obtain an education, when
there are many women in his household, as they care more for the
immediate necessities than for a prospective successful future. They
feel that his father and his father’s father were able to provide for
the wants of the family, so why should the boys of to-day spend years in
studying books when they might be adding to the family exchequer?
It is the women who are compelling the younger boys and girls to conform
to the old usages and traditions in regard to marriage. Many a boy
leaves school and would like a chance to find a place for himself in
life before burdening himself with a wife. But this he is not allowed to
do. His mother believes that all boys should be married early in life,
consequently the boy is saddled with a family at about the age when the
American boy is taking his first shy look at the girl across the aisle
in the schoolroom. These modern young men would also like to have a
voice in the selection of their wives, but that also is denied them.
They must conform to the traditions of their caste and the customs of
their family. I know a boy who was compelled to marry his niece,
although his education had taught him that these intermarriages were not
for the good of his race; still, he was helpless, and could not
successfully oppose the combined wishes of the women of his family.
Side by side with these Indian women who guard jealously the customs and
traditions of other days are the Westernized society women, who seem to
share with their husbands in the spirit of imitation that has entered
into the very soul of the Indian people who have come into contact with
the English. The Indian gentleman feels that he must talk “sport,” the
schoolboy prides himself upon the knowledge of cricket and football and
talks the jargon of Eton and Rugby. Because the meat-eating Englishmen
from cold, dreary England must exercise in order to live, the Indian
also devotes himself to a strenuous regime that is absolutely alien to
his habits and the requirements of his climate. The Indian lady, with
her exaggerated English accent, and her costume that is neither of the
East nor of the West, is a paradox. She may well be zealous in borrowing
what she needs from the English, but it seems hard for her to assimilate
what she takes and make it a part of herself. The affectations which she
uses to show her cosmopolitanism are palpably grafted upon her tree of
knowledge, and we who wish to see the real India are only consoled in
the thought that these unusual conditions which prevail in the large
cities are only the graftings, and that the tree itself is not affected
by them. The real woman of India is bound to grow in knowledge brought
by education and experience, but deep down in her heart she will be
essentially the same for years to come. She will not try to exchange her
personality for another’s, even in outward appearance.
The dawn of consciousness that has been preceded by long twilight is now
awakening in the soul of the Eastern woman, and she will see by its
light that she has a strength and individuality of her own and that she
need not mortgage her birthright to borrow alien charms from the women
of other lands.