THE THIRD IMAGE
THE PAST BLESSING, OR THE BLESSING BEHIND US
The consideration of this image is not difficult, in view of its
counterpart, of the past evils;[52] we would, however, aid him
who undertakes it. Here St. Augustine shows himself an excellent
master, in his Confessions, in which he gives a beautiful
rehearsal of the benefits of God toward him from his mother's
womb.[52] The same is done in that fine Psalm cxxxvii, 'Lord,
Thou hast searched me," [Ps. 139:2] where the Psalmist, marveled
among other things at the goodness of God toward him, says, "Thou
understandest my thoughts afar off, Thou compassest my path and
my lying down." Which is as though he said, Whatever I have
thought or done, whatever I shall achieve and possess, I see now
that it is not the result of my industry, but was ordered long
ago by Thy care. "And there is no speech in my tongue."[54] Where
is it then? In Thy power.
We learn this from our own experience. For if we reflect on our
past life, is it not a wonder that we thought, desired, did and
said that which we were not able to foresee? How far different
our course would have been, had we been left to our own free
will! Now only do we understand it, and see how constantly God's
present care and providence were over us, so that we could
neither think nor speak nor will anything except as He gave us
leave. As it is said in Wisdom vii, "In His hands are both we and
our words"; [Wisd. 7:16] and by Paul, "Who worketh all in all."
[1 Cor. 12:6] Ought not we, insensate and hard of heart, to bang
our heads in shame, when we learn from our own experience how our
Lord hath cared for us unto this hour, and given us every
blessing? And yet we cannot commit our care to Him in a small
present evil, and act as if He had forsaken us, or ever could
forsake us! Not so the Psalmist, in Psalm xxxix, "I am poor and
needy; yet the Lord thinketh on me." [Ps. 40:17] On which St.
Augustine has this comment: "Let Him care for thee, Who made
thee. He Who cared for thee before thou wast, how shall He not
care for thee now thou art that which He willed thee to be?" [55]
But we divide the kingdom with God; to Him we grant (and even
that but grudgingly) that He hath made us, but to ourselves we
arrogate the care over ourselves; as though He had made us, and
then straightway departed, and left the government of ourselves
in our own hands.
But if our wisdom and foresight blind us to the care that God
hath over us, because perchance many things have fallen out
according to our plans, let us turn again, with Psalm cxxxviii,
and look in upon ourselves. "My substance was not hid from Thee
when I was made in secret"--that is, Thou didst behold and didst
fashion my bones in my mother's womb, when as yet I was not, and
my mother knew not what was forming in her;--"and my substance
was curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth"--that is,
even the form and fashion of my body in the secret chambers of
the womb were not hidden from Thee, for Thou wast fashioning it.
What does the Psalmist intend with such words but to show us by
this marvelous illustration how God hath always been caring for
us without our help! For who can boast that he took any part in
his formation in the womb? Who gave to our mother that loving
care wherewith she fed and fondled and caressed us, and performed
all those duties of motherhood, when we had as yet no
consciousness of our life, and when we should neither know nor
remember these things, but that, seeing the same things done to
others, we believe that they were done to us also? For they were
performed on us as though we had been asleep, nay dead, or rather
not yet born, so far as our knowledge of them is concerned.
Thus we see how the divine mercies and consolations bear us up,
without our doing. And still we doubt, or even despair, that He
is caring for us to-day. If this experience does not instruct and
move one, I know not what will. For we have it brought home to us
again and again, in every little child we meet; so that so many
examples proposed to our foolishness and hardness of heart may
well fill us with deep shame, if we doubt that the slightest
blessing or evil can come to us without the particular care of
God. Thus St Peter says, "Casting all your care upon Him, because
He careth for you." [1 Pet. 5:7] And Psalm xxxvi, "Cast thy
burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain thee." [Ps. 37:5] And
St. Augustine, in the Confessions,[56] addresses his soul on this
wise: "Why dost thou stand upon thyself, and dost not stand? Cast
thyself on Him; for He will not withdraw His hand and let thee
fall." Again, we read in I. Peter iv, "Wherefore let them that
suffer according to the will of God, commit the keeping of their
souls to Him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator." [1 Pet.
4:10]
O could a man attain unto such a knowledge of his God, how
safely, how quietly, how joyfully, would he fare! He would in
truth have God on his side, knowing this of a certainty, that all
his fortunes, whatever they might be, had come to him, and still
were coming, under the guidance of His most sweet will. The word
of Peter stands firm, "He careth for you." [1 Pet. 5:7] What
sweeter sound than this word can we hear! Therefore, he says,
"Cast all your care upon Him." If we do this not, but rather take
our care upon ourselves, what is this but to seek to binder the
care of God, and, besides, to make our life a life of sorrow and
labor, troubled with many fears and cares and much unrest! And
all to no avail; for we accomplish nothing good thereby, but, as
the Preacher saith, it is vanity of vanities, and vexation of
spirit. [Eccl. 1:2,14] Indeed, that whole book treats of this
experience, as written by one who for himself made trial of many
things, and found them all only weariness, vanity and vexation of
spirit, so that he concludes it is a gilt of God that a man may
eat and drink and live joyfully with his wife, i. e., when he
passes his days without anxiety, and commits his care to God.
Therefore, we ought to have no other care for ourselves than
this, namely, not to care for ourselves, and rob God of His care
for us.
Whatever remains to be said, will easily be gathered from the
corresponding image of evils, as I have said,[57] and from the
contemplation of one's past life.