with black Frocks, in which they were led along the Streets to the Place
of Execution, the Friars praying all the way. When they came through any
Street, were any public Images were fix'd, they stay'd before 'em some
reasonable time in Prayer with the Friars. When they are arriv'd at the
fatal Place, those Fathers leave 'em not, but continue praying and
giving them ghostly Encouragement, standing upon the rounds of the
Ladder till they are turn'd off. The Hangman always wears a silver Badge
of a Ladder to distinguish his Profession: But his manner of executing
his Office had somewhat in it too singular to allow of Silence. When he
had ty'd fast the Hands of the Criminal, he rested his Knee upon them,
and with one Hand on the Criminal's Nostrils, to stop his Breath the
sooner, threw himself off the Ladder along with the dying Party. This he
does to expedite his Fate; tho' considering the Force, I wonder it does
not tear Head and Body asunder; which yet I never heard that it did.
But to return to _la Mancha_; I had been there now upwards of two Years,
much diverted with the good Humour and Kindness of the Gentlemen, and
daily pleased with the Conversation of the Nuns of the Nunnery opposite
to my Lodgings; when walking one Day alone upon the _Plaza_, I found my
self accosted by a _Clerico_. At the first Attack, he told me his
Country: But added, that he now came from _Madrid_ with a _Potent_, that
was his Word, from _Pedro de Dios_, Dean of the Inquisition, to
endeavour the Conversion of any of the _English_ Prisoners; that being
an _Irish-man_, as a sort of a Brother, he had conceived a Love for the
_English_, and therefore more eagerly embraced the Opportunity which the
Holy Inquisition had put into his Hands for the bringing over to Mother
Church as many Hereticks as he could; that having heard a very good
Character of me, he should think himself very happy, if he could be
instrumental in my Salvation;
"It is very true, continu'd he, I have lately had the good Fortune to
convert many; and besides the Candour of my own Disposition, I must tell
you, that I have a peculiar knack at Conversion, which very few, if any,
ever could resist. I am going upon the same work into _Murcia_; but your
good Character is fix'd me in my Resolution of preferring your Salvation
to that of others."
To this very long, and no less surprising Address, I only return'd, that
it being an Affair of moment, it would require some Consideration; and
that by the time he return'd from _Murcia_, I might be able to return
him a proper Answer. But not at all satisfy'd with this Reply;
"Sir," says he, "God Almighty is all-sufficient: This moment is too
precious to be lost; he can turn the Heart in the twinkling of an Eye,
as well as in twenty Years. Hear me then; mind what I say to you: I will
convince you immediately. You Hereticks do not believe in
Transubstantiation, and yet did not our Saviour say in so many Words,
_Hoc est corpus meum_? And if you don't believe him, don't you give him
the Lye? Besides, does not one of the Fatherss ay, _Deus, qui est omnis
Veritas, non potest dicere falsum_?"
He went on at the same ridiculous rate; which soon convinced me, he was
a thorough Rattle. However, as a _Clerico_, and consequently in this
Country, a Man dangerous to disoblige, I invited him home to Dinner;
where when I had brought him, I found I had no way done an unacceptable
thing; for my Landlady and her Daughter, seeing him to be a Clergyman,
receiv'd him with a vast deal of Respect and Pleasure.
Dinner being over, he began to entertain me with a Detail of the many
wonderful Conversions he had made upon obstinate Hereticks; that he had
convinced the most Stubborn, and had such a _Nostrum_, that he would
undertake to convert any one. Here he began his old round, intermixing
his Harangue with such scraps and raw sentences of fustian _Latin_, that
I grew weary of his Conversation; so pretending some Business of
consequence, I took leave, and left him and my Landlady together.
I did not return till pretty late in the Evening, with Intent to give
him Time enough to think his own Visit tedious; but to my great
Surprize, I found my _Irish_ Missionary still on the Spot, ready to dare
me to the Encounter, and resolv'd, like a true Son of the Church
militant, to keep last on the Field of Battle. As soon as I had seated
my self, he began again to tell me, how good a Character my Landlady had
given me, which had prodigiously increased his Ardour of saving my Soul;
that he could not answer it to his own Character, as well as mine, to be
negligent; and therefore he had enter'd into a Resolution to stay my
Coming, though it had been later. To all which, I return'd him Abundance
of Thanks for his good Will, but pleading Indisposition and want of
Rest, after a good deal of civil Impertinence, I once more got rid of
him; at least, I took my Leave, and went to Bed, leaving him again
Master of the Field; for I understood next Morning, that he stay'd some
Time after I was gone, with my good Landlady.
Next Morning the Nuns of the Nunnery opposite, having taken Notice of
the _Clerico's_ Ingress, long Visit, and late Egress, sent to know
whether he was my Countryman; with many other Questions, which I was not
then let into the Secret of. To all which I return'd, that he was no
Countryman of mine, but an _Irish-man_, and so perfectly a Stranger to
me, that I knew no more of him than what I had from his own Mouth, that
he was going into _Murcia_. What the Meaning of this Enquiry was, I
could never learn; but I could not doubt, but it proceeded from their
great Care of their _Vicino_, as they call'd me; a Mark of their Esteem,
and of which I was not a little proud.
As was my usual Custom, I had been taking my Morning Walk, and had not
been long come home in order to Dinner, when in again drops my _Irish
Clerico_; I was confounded, and vexed, and he could not avoid taking
Notice of it; nevertheless, without the least Alteration of Countenance,
he took his Seat; and on my saying, in a cold and indifferent Tone, that
I imagin'd he had been got to _Murcia_ before this; he reply'd, with a
natural Fleer, that truely he was going to _Murcia_, but his Conscience
pricked him, and he did find that he could not go away with any
Satisfaction, or Peace of Mind, without making me a perfect Convert;
that he had plainly discovered in me a good Disposition, and had, for
that very Reason, put himself to the Charge of Man and Mule, to the
Bishop of _Cuenca_ for a Licence, under his Hand, for my Conversion: For
in _Spain_, all private Missionaries are obliged to ask Leave of the
next Bishop, before they dare enter upon any Enterprize of this Nature.
I was more confounded at this last Assurance of the Man than at all
before; and it put me directly upon reflecting, whether any, and what
Inconveniences might ensue, from a Rencounter that I, at first,
conceiv'd ridiculous, but might now reasonably begin to have more
dangerous Apprehensions of. I knew, by the Articles of War, all Persons
are exempted from any Power of the Inquisition; but whether carrying on
a Part in such a Farce, might not admit, or at least be liable to some
dangerous Construction, was not imprudently now to be considered. Though
I was not fearful, yet I resolv'd to be cautious. Wherefore not making
any Answer to his Declaration about the Bishop, he took Notice of it;
and to raise a Confidence, he found expiring, began to tell me, that his
Name was _Murtough Brennan_, that he was born near _Kilkenny_, of a very
considerable Family. This last part indeed, when I came to _Madrid_, I
found pretty well confirm'd in a considerable Manner. However, taking
Notice that he had alter'd his Tone of leaving the Town, and that
instead of it, he was advancing somewhat like an Invitation of himself
to Dinner the next Day, I resolv'd to show my self shy of him; and
thereupon abruptly, and without taking any Leave, I left the Room, and
my Landlady and him together.
Three or four Days had passed, every one of which, he never fail'd my
Lodgings; not at Dinner Time only, but Night and Morning too; from all
which I began to suspect, that instead of my Conversion, he had fix'd
upon a Re-conversion of my Landlady. She was not young, yet, for a black
Woman, handsom enough; and her Daughter very pretty: I entered into a
Resolution to make my Observations, and watch them all at a Distance;
nevertheless carefully concealing my Jealousy. However, I must confess,
I was not a little pleas'd, that any Thing could divert my own
Persecution. He was now no longer my Guest, but my Landlady's, with whom
I found him so much taken up, that a little Care might frustrate all his
former impertinent Importunities on the old Topick.
But all my Suspicions were very soon after turn'd into Certainties, in
this Manner: I had been abroad, and returning somewhat weary, I went to
my Chamber, to take, what in that Country they call, a _Cesto_, upon my
Bed: I got in unseen, or without seeing any Body, but had scarce laid my
self down, before my young Landlady, as I jestingly us'd to call the
Daughter, rushing into my Room, threw her self down on the Floor,
bitterly exclaiming. I started off my Bed, and immediately running to
the Door, who should I meet there but my _Irish Clerico_, without his
Habit, and in his Shirt? I could not doubt, by _the Dishabillé_ of the
_Clerico_, but the young Creature had Reason enough for her Passion,
which render'd me quite unable to master mine; wherefore as he stood
with his Back next the Door, I thrust him in that ghostly Plight into
the open Street.
I might, with leisure enough, have repented that precipitate Piece of
Indiscretion; if it had not been for his bad Character, and the
favourable Opinion the Town had conceived of me; for he inordinately
exclaim'd against me, calling me Heretick, and telling the People, who
were soon gathered round him, that coming to my Lodgings on the
charitable work of Conversion, I had thus abus'd him, stript him of his
Habit, and then turn'd him out of Doors. The Nuns, on their hearing the
Outcries he made, came running to their Grates, to enquire into the
Matter, and when they understood it, as he was pleas'd to relate it;
though they condemn'd my Zeal, they pity'd my Condition. Very well was
it for me, that I stood more than a little well in the good Opinion of
the Town; among the Gentry, by my frequent Conversation, and the
inferior Sort by my charitable Distributions; for nothing can be more
dangerous, or a nearer Way to violent Fate, than to insult one of the
Clergy in _Spain_, and especially, for such an one as they entitle a
Heretick.
My old Landlady (I speak in respect to her Daughter) however formerly my
seeming Friend, came in a violent Passion, and wrenching the Door out of
my Hands, opened it, and pull'd her _Clerico_ in; and so soon as she had
done this, she took his Part, and railed so bitterly at me, that I had
no Reason longer to doubt her thorough Conversion, under the full Power
of his Mission. However the young one stood her Ground, and by all her
Expressions, gave her many Inquirers Reason enough to believe, all was
not Matter of Faith that the _Clerico_ had advanced. Nevertheless,
holding it adviseable to change my Lodgings, and a Friend confirming my
Resolutions, I removed that Night.
The _Clerico_ having put on his upper Garments, was run away to the
_Corrigidor_, in a violent Fury, resolving to be early, as well knowing,
that he who tells his Story first, has the Prospect of telling it to
double Advantage. When he came there, he told that Officer a thousand
idle Stories, and in the worst Manner; repeating how I had abus'd him,
and not him only, but my poor Landlady, for taking his Part. The
_Corrigidor_ was glad to hear it all, and with an officious Ear fish'd
for a great deal more; expecting, according to Usage, at last to squeeze
a Sum of Money out of me. However he told the _Clerico_, that, as I was
a Prisoner of War, he had no direct Power over me; but if he would
immediately write to the President _Ronquillo_, at _Madrid_, he would
not fail to give his immediate Orders, according to which he would as
readily act against me.
The _Clerico_ resolv'd to pursue his old Maxim and cry out first; and so
taking the _Corrigidor's_ Advice, he wrote away to _Madrid_ directly. In
the mean Time the People in the Town, both high and low, some out of
Curiosity, some out of Friendship, pursu'd their Enquiries into the
Reality of the Facts. The old Landlady they could make little of to my
Advantage; but whenever the young one came to the Question, she always
left them with these Words in her Mouth, _El Diabolo en forma del
Clerico_, which rendring Things more than a little cloudy on the
_Clerico's_ Side, he was advis'd and press'd by his few Friends, as fast
as he could to get out of Town; Nuns, Clergy, and every Body taking
Part against him, excepting his new Convert, my old Landlady.
The Day after, as I was sitting with a Friend at my new Quarters,
_Maria_ (for that was the Name of my Landlady's Daughter) came running
in with these Words in her Mouth, _El Clerico, el Clerico, passa la
Calle_. We hasten'd to the Window, out of which we beheld the _Clerico,
Murtough Brennan_, pitifully mounted on the Back of a very poor Ass (for
they would neither let, nor lend him a Mule through all the Town) his
Legs almost rested on the Ground, for he was lusty, as his Ass was
little; and a Fellow with a large Cudgel march'd a-foot, driving his Ass
along. Never did _Sancha Pancha_, on his Embassage to _Dulcinea_, make
such a despicable, out of the way Figure, as our _Clerico_ did at this
Time. And what increas'd our Mirth was, their telling me, that our
_Clerico_, like that Squire (tho' upon his own Priest-Errantry) was
actually on his March to _Toboso_, a Place five Leagues off, famous for
the Nativity of _Dulcinea_, The Object of the Passion of that celebrated
Hero _Don Quixot_. So I will leave our _Clerico_ on his Journey to
_Murcia_, to relate the unhappy Sequel of this ridiculous Affair.
I have before said, that, by the Advice of the _Corrigidor, our Clerico_
had wrote to _Don Ronquillo_ at _Madrid_. About a Fortnight after his
Departure from _la Mancha_, I was sitting alone in my new Lodgings, when
two _Alguizils_ (Officers under the _Corrigidor_, and in the Nature of
our Bailiffs) came into my Room, but very civilly, to tell me, that they
had Orders to carry me away to Prison; but at the same Moment they
advis'd me, not to be afraid; for they had observed, that the whole Town
was concern'd at what the _Corrigidor_ and _Clerico_ had done; adding,
that it was their Opinion, that I should find so general a Friendship,
that I need not be apprehensive of any Danger. With these plausible
Speeches, though I afterwards experienced the Truth of them, I resign'd
my self, and went with them to a much closer Confinement.
I had not been there above a Day or two, before many Gentlemen of the
Place sent to me, to assure me, they were heartily afflicted at my
Confinement, and resolv'd to write in my Favour to _Madrid_; but as it
was not safe, nor the Custom in _Spain_, to visit those in my present
Circumstances, they hoped I would not take it amiss, since they were
bent to act all in their Power towards my Deliverance; concluding
however with their Advice, that I would not give one _Real of Plata_ to
the _Corrigidor_, whom they hated, but confide in their assiduous
Interposal, Don _Pedro de Ortega_ in particular, the Person that
perform'd the Part of the _Tauriro_ on Horseback, sometime before, sent
me Word, he would not fail to write to a Relation of his, of the first
Account in _Madrid_, and so represent the Affair, that I should not long
be debarr'd my old Acquaintance.
It may administer, perhaps, Matter of Wonder, that _Spaniards_,
Gentlemen of the stanchest Punctilio, should make a Scruple and execute
themselves from visiting Persons under Confinement, when, according to
all Christian Acceptation, such a Circumstance would render such a
Visit, not charitable only but generous. But though Men of vulgar
Spirits might, from the Narrowness of their Views, form such insipid
Excuses, those of these Gentlemen, I very well knew, proceeded from much
more excusable Topicks. I was committed under the Accusation of having
abus'd a sacred Person, one of the Clergy; and though, as a Prisoner of
War, I might deem my self exempt from the Power of the Inquisition; yet
how far one of that Country, visiting a Person, so accused, might be
esteemed culpable, was a consideration in that dangerous Climate, far
from deserving to be slighted. To me therefore, who well knew the
Customs of the Country, and the Temper of its Countrymen, their Excuses
were not only allowable, but acceptable also; for, without calling in
Question their Charity, I verily believ'd I might falsely confide in
their Honour.
Accordingly, after I had been a close Prisoner one Month to a Day, I
found the Benefit of these Gentlemen's Promises and Solicitations.
Pursuant to which, an Order was brought for my immediate Discharge;
notwithstanding, the new Convert, my old Landlady, did all she could to
make her appearing against me effectual, to the Height of her Prejudice
and Malice, even while the Daughter, as sensible of my Innocence, and
acting with a much better Conscience, endeavoured as much to justify me,
against both the Threats and Persuasions of the _Corrigidor_, and his
few Accomplices, though her own Mother made one.
After Receipt of this Order for my Enlargement, I was mightily press'd
by Don _Felix_, and others of my Friends, to go to _Madrid_, and enter
my Complaint against the _Corrigidor_ and the _Clerico_, as a Thing
highly essential to my own future Security. Without asking Leave
therefore of the _Corrigidor_, or in the least acquainting him with it,
I set out from _la Mancha_, and, as I afterwards understood, to the
terrible Alarm of that griping Officer; who was under the greatest
Consternation, when he heard I was gone; for as he knew very well, that
he had done more than he could justify, he was very apprehensive of any
Complaint; well knowing, that as he was hated as much as I was beloved,
he might assure himself of the Want of that Assistance from the
Gentlemen, which I had experienced.
So soon as I arrived at _Madrid_, I made it my Business to enquire out,
and wait upon Father _Fahy_, Chief of the _Irish College_. He received
me very courteously; but when I acquainted him with the Treatment I had
met with from _Brennan_, and had given him an Account of his other
scandalous Behaviour, I found he was no Stranger to the Man, or his
Character; for he soon confirm'd to me the Honour _Brennan_ first
boasted of, his considerable Family, by saying, that scarce an Assize
passed in his own Country, without two or three of that Name receiving
at the Gallows the just Reward of their Demerits. In short, not only
Father _Fahy_, but all the Clergy of that Nation at _Madrid_, readily
subscribed to this Character of him, _That he was a Scandal to their
Country_.
After this, I had nothing more to do, but to get that Father to go with
me to _Pedro de Dios_, who was the Head of the _Dominican_ Cloyster, and
Dean of the Inquisition. He readily granted my Request, and when we came
there, in a Manner unexpected, represented to the Dean, that having some
good Dispositions towards Mother-Church, I had been diverted from them,
he feared, by the evil Practices of one _Murtough Brennan_, a Countryman
of his, tho' a Scandal to his Country; that under a Pretence of seeking
my Conversion, he had lay'd himself open in a most beastly Manner, such
as would have set a Catholick into a vile Opinion of their Religion, and
much more one that was yet a Heretick. The Dean had hardly Patience to
hear Particulars; but as soon as my Friend had ended his Narration, he
immediately gave his Orders, prohibiting _Murtough's_ saying any more
Masses, either in _Madrid_, or any other Place in _Spain_. This indeed
was taking away the poor Wretches sole Subsistence, and putting him just
upon an Equality with his Demerits.
I took the same Opportunity to make my Complaints of the _Corrigidor_;
but his Term expiring very soon, and a Process being likely to be
chargeable, I was advised to let it drop. So having effected what I came
for, I returned to my old Station at _la Mancha_.
When I came back, I found a new _Corrigidor_, as I had been told there
would, by the Dean of the Inquisition, who, at the same Time, advised me
to wait on him. I did so, soon after my Arrival, and then experienced
the Advice to be well intended; the Dean having wrote a Letter to him,
to order him to treat me with all Manner of Civility. He show'd me the
very Letter, and it was in such particular and obliging Terms, that I
could not but perceive he had taken a Resolution, if possible, to
eradicate all the evil impressions, that _Murtough's_ Behaviour might
have given too great Occasion for. This serv'd to confirm me in an
Observation that I had long before made, That a Protestant, who will
prudently keep his Sentiments in his own Breast, may command any Thing
in _Spain_; where their stiff Bigotry leads 'em naturally into that
other Mistake, That not to oppose, is to assent. Besides, it is
generally among them, almost a work of Supererogation to be even
instrumental in the Conversion of one they call a Heretick. To bring any
such back to what they call Mother Church, nothing shall be spar'd,
nothing thought too much: And if you have Insincerity enough to give
them Hopes, you shall not only live in Ease, but in Pleasure and Plenty.
I had entertain'd some thoughts on my Journey back, of taking up my old
Quarters at the Widow's; but found her so intirely converted by her
_Clerico_, that there wou'd be no room to expect Peace: For which
Reason, with the help of my fair _Vicinos_, and _Don Felix_, I took
another, where I had not been long, before I received an unhappy Account
of _Murtough's_ Conduct in _Murcia_. It seems he had kept his Resolution
in going thither; where meeting with some of his own Countrymen, though
he found 'em stanch good Catholics, he so far inveigled himself into
'em, that he brought them all into a foul chance for their Lives. There
were three of 'em, all Soldiers, in a _Spanish_ Regiment, but in a fit
of ambitious, though frantick, Zeal: _Murtough_ had wheedled them to go
along with him to _Pedro de Dios_, Dean of the Inquisition, to declare
and acknowledge before him, that they were converted and brought over to
Mother Church, and by him only. The poor Ignorants, thus intic'd, had
left their Regiment, of which the Colonel, having notice, sent after
them, and they were overtaken on the Road, their _Missionair_ with them.
But notwithstanding all his Oratory, nay, even the Discovery of the
whole Farce, one of them was hang'd for an Example to the other two.
It was not long after my Return before News arriv'd of the Peace; which
though they receiv'd with Joy, they could hardly entertain with Belief.
Upon which, the new _Corrigidor_, with whom I held a better
Correspondence than I had done with the old one, desired me to produce
my Letters from _England_, that it was true. Never did People give
greater Demonstrations of Joy, than they upon this Occasion. It was the
common cry in the Streets, _Paz con Angleterra, con todo Mundo Guerra_;
And my Confirmation did them as much Pleasure as it did Service to me;
for is possible, they treated me with more Civility than before.
But the Peace soon after being proclaimed, I received Orders to repair
to _Madrid_, where the rest of the Prisoners taken at _Denia_ had been
carried; when I, by reason of my Wounds, and want of Health, had been
left behind. Others I understood lay ready, and some were on their March
to _Bayone_ in _France_; where Ships were ordered for their
Transportation into _England_. So after a Residence of three Years and
three Months; having taken leave of all my Acquaintance, I left a Place,
that was almost become natural to me, the delicious _Sainte Clemente de
la Mancha_.
Nothing of Moment, or worth observing, met I with, till I came near
_Ocanna_; and there occurred a Sight ridiculous enough. The Knight of
the Town, I last came from, the ever renown'd _Don Quixot_, never made
such a Figure as a _Spaniard_, I there met on the Road. He was mounted
on a Mule of the largest size, and yet no way unsizeable to his Person:
He had two Pistols in his Holsters, and one on each side stuck in his
Belt; a sort of large Blunderbuss in one of his Hands, and the fellow to
it slung over his Shoulders hung at his Back. All these were accompany'd
with a right _Spanish Spado_, and an Attendant _Stiletto_, in their
customary Position. The Muletier that was my guide, calling out to him
in _Spanish_, told him he was very well arm'd; to which, with a great
deal of Gravity, the Don returned Answer, _by Saint Jago a Man cannot be
too well arm'd in such dangerous Times_.