It is hard to tell whether the biggest liars live by the sea or on the
mountain, but certainly the sailor folk will have a time of it to match
one Bob Sempers, one of the most elastic of all the prevaricators on the
Pocono Mountain. Here is a story Bob told a party of gentlemen hunters
not long ago:
"You know where I live. About three mile from the Big Lake. Well--one
evenin' last spring when I was goin' home, I see a flock o' geese
a-settlin' on the lake. I got up bright an' early next mornin', took
down my shootin' iron an' started for the lake to try my luck. When I
got there I found they were out o' gun shot, an' I knowed 'twan't no use
to shoot at that distance. I'd jist skeer 'em away if I did. So, I
stood there thinkin' what best to do. I see a fox come down to the water
edge and stand there a minnit or so a-snuffin' the air. I'd a mind to
shoot him, but I thought I'd wait an' see what he'd do. Well, sir, he
just plumped into the water an' made for them geese. They were all
huddled together about a half a mile from the shore. After swimmin' up
to within a few yards of 'em, he suddenly disappeared, and in a few
minnits a goose was drawn under water. Then the fox swum ashore an' laid
the dead goose on the bank, and went back fer another snap, an' so he
kep on till he got the whole flock, an' I waited till he brought in the
last one, an' then I shot him.
"Well, sir, I found when I come to count 'em, that I had just fifty nice
fat geese, which I lugged home together with my gun an' the dead fox.
An' when I got home I found my old woman hadn't the breakfast quite
ready yet."
"'But, Bob,' said some one, 'the fox had to swim a mile for each
goose--half a mile each way--consequently he had to swim just fifty
miles. And the geese averaged, say, six pounds; so that you had three
hundred pounds of goose-flesh to carry three miles, to say nothing of
the dead fox and your gun--impossible!'
"'Impossible or not,' maintained Bob, 'every word is truth, and I can
prove it, too, by more than a dozen of my neighbors, to each of whom I
sold enough feathers to fill a feather-bed.'"