Last summer the congregation of a little kirk in the highlands of
Scotland was greatly disturbed and mystified by the appearance in its
midst of an old English lady, who made use of an ear trumpet during the
sermon, such an instrument being entirely unknown in those simple parts.
There was much discussion of the matter, and it was finally decided that
one of the elders, who had great local reputation as a man of parts,
should be deputed to settle the question. On the next Sabbath the
unconscious offender again made her appearance and again produced the
trumpet, whereupon the chosen elder rose from his seat and marched down
the aisle to where the old lady sat, and, entreating her with an
upraised finger, said sternly: "The first toot an' ye're oot!"