A man wrote to the editor of a small weekly newspaper asking a very
simple question: "How can I get an article into your esteemed paper?"
and the cruel editor wrote in reply: "It all depends on the kind of
article you want to get into our paper. If it is small in bulk, like a
hair-brush or a tea-caddy, for instance, spread the paper out on the
floor nice and smooth, place the article exactly in the center, neatly
fold the edges over it, and tie with a string. This will keep the
article from slipping out. If, on the other hand, the article is an
English bath-tub or a clothes-horse, you will find one of the New York
Sunday papers better suited to your purpose."