That English clergyman had no tact who vehemently declared his
parishioners to be "a set of unmitigated asses." One of the Long-Eared
standing by ventured to inquire whether that was the reason his
reverence addressed them every Sunday morning as "Dearly beloved
Brethren?"
But here was another English clergyman who had tact. On one occasion he
was traveling in a stage-coach in company with a noisy talker who
persisted in thrusting upon his fellow-passengers the fact that he did
not believe in the Bible. In particular he was severe upon the writer
who had alleged that Joshua had commanded the sun to stand still and
look on while he wiped out the heathen. The clergyman had been measuring
up his companion, and at this point he spoke out----
"Did you ever read the further explanation of that great miracle as
given in the First Book of Zorobbabel?"
"Yes, I have," snapped the learned infidel, "and that doesn't throw any
light on it either. In fact, it makes it worse----"
The general roar of laughter which followed this confession of ignorance
ended the controversy, and bottled up the agnostic.
On another occasion this same clergyman was annoyed by a bustling
preacher who walked up to him in public, and, in a voice that arrested
the attention of all within hearing, challenged him to a controversy on
Apostolic Succession. The challenged man turned sharply and said: "Can
you repeat the Lord's Prayer, sir?" "But--" stammered the man, "I want
to discuss--" "Sir," said the other, "I repeat, say the Lord's Prayer,
if you can." The man was so taken aback by this unexpected flank
movement that, if he ever knew the Lord's Prayer, every petition of it
had vanished from his memory, and he became red-faced and silent. Then
his dignified antagonist turned in a stately way to the group of amused
auditors, and said, "Sir, I will leave it to this intelligent assemblage
to decide whether a man who is unable to repeat the Lord's Prayer is
competent to discuss Apostolic Succession."