_SOCIAL TRAINING FOR FARM BOYS AND GIRLS_
We have been exceedingly slow in realizing the social needs of our
children, in the usual instance depending on chance conditions to
determine the matter for us. The city and the rural communities present
a striking contrast in this respect. It does not seem possible that both
can be right, while there is much to support the opinion that both are
wrong. That is to say, in the city community the majority of the
children are allowed to spend too much time in the company of others. As
a result, they take on social manners and customs in a mere formal way
and by far too early for the good of their character-development. The
city ripens young life too fast. It produces the manners and refinements
of adult life before the child becomes matured mentally. In the ordinary
rural community there is not enough social experience for the young; and
hence, a certain amount of crudeness, awkwardness, and lack of
refinement tend to linger permanently in the character.
A HAPPY MEAN IS NEEDED
What seems necessary, therefore, is the establishment of a social life
which will be a compromise between the excess of the city and the
deficit of the country. So far as can be learned, very little has been
achieved in the matter of establishing just such a social order in the
rural communities as will tend to develop the lives of the boys and
girls in an ideal, symmetrical way. We may not feel very certain as to
just how this ideal juvenile society should be constructed.
Nevertheless, an attempt will be made to sketch in this chapter a
working plan therefor. Some may see fit to adapt it, while others may
improve it through practice.
What especially needs to be thought of in the development of any normal
young life is the problem of rounding out the character on all sides.
There are certain fundamental character-forming experiences and
disciplines, such as work, play, recreation, and social intercourse.
Many parents seem to be possessed of the idea that they can develop
their children through play and social training alone. Others seem to
believe that hard work and plenty of it is all that is necessary for the
development of a substantial character in the young. Still others appear
to allow their boys and girls to roam at will and to indulge them only
in the recreative experiences. But how indefensible the idea that anyone
should try to find permanent joy and satisfaction through recreative
experiences without first having had as their counterpart the experience
of work and the responsibilities that pertain thereto!
So, again, it may be contended that there is a happy mean between the
over-work and the absence of social experience so common in the farming
communities and the lack of work and the extreme social excitement that
so often obtains in the life of the city child.
A SOCIAL RENAISSANCE IN THE COUNTRY
There is becoming more and more apparent the necessity of not only a
revival of the social life in the country, but also the demand for its
reconstruction. It is especially to be desired that the reorganization
be effected under the guidance of sound principles of psychology and
sociology. That is, it must be based on the fundamental fact of the sex
instinct so prominent during the adolescent period, and the further fact
of the imperative demand at this time for a large amount of social
intercourse. How differently this point of view persistently held will
shape the matter as compared with the older ideal of merely "giving the
young folks a good time"! Yes, the social life of adolescent boys and
girls has its source in the sex instinct then so predominant. It is not
therefore to be viewed as a piece of superficial sentimentality, but
rather as a profound law of nature.
As suggested by two or three of the preceding chapters, there may be
organized a social center in the church, or other such centers may
develop independently through the leadership of some mature persons. But
instances of this class of effective organization are as yet few and
far between. Meanwhile, the young are growing up and their present
social needs are very pressing. Individual farmers cannot wait for
neighborhood movements; and so the parents of the children requiring the
social life must themselves take the initiative in the matter.
CONDITIONS TO GUARD AGAINST
Before proceeding to a detailed outline of various plans for supplying
the social needs of rural young people, it may be well to point out a
few of the pitfalls to be guarded against. In reference to the latter,
it is not the purpose to advise parents to try to place their children
in an exclusive social set. Far from that. The purpose is rather the
converse; namely, to urge parents to attempt to build up good, clean
characters in their boys and girls and yet permit the latter to mingle
freely with common humanity. An aristocracy in the towns and cities is
bad enough and a thing wholly out of harmony with the best and highest
interpretation of our national life; but an aristocracy in the country
neighborhood is an abomination.
But while the so-called best families must think of their young as
growing members of the entire social community and not as belonging to
an exclusive set, there is nevertheless great need of constant
watchfulness in respect to certain evils that always threaten the lives
of farmers' sons and daughters.
1. _The social companionships of girls._--Of course it must be admitted
that there is frequently present in the country neighborhood some vile
or wicked young character whose influence is very pernicious. On one
occasion this person may appear in the guise of an exemplary young man,
smooth in manners, stylishly dressed, and apparently interested in the
best affairs. But as a matter of fact, he may be secretly an agent for
some infamous institution in the city. The records show that thousands
of country girls have been enticed away to the cities by such characters
only to meet an untimely and awful fate. The parents of the country girl
should therefore know who the young man is with whom she keeps company.
Usually it is a comparatively easy matter to test his worth. If he have
no fixed local attachment in a home, and no permanent business relations
in the community, he may be regarded with suspicion at least, and may be
compelled to furnish evidence of his moral integrity.
Another type of the young country man unworthy of the company and
companionship of the young woman is the one who is known by the men of
the community as being habituated to the use of vile and indecent
language, or to the practice of drinking intoxicants. If such be among
his known characteristics, the evidence is decidedly unfavorable, making
him unsuitable as a social companion of the country girl. It is
reasonable to predict that he will never change his ways very
radically, and especially that he will not develop into a desirable life
companion for the daughter. Some good parents make the fatal blunder of
allowing their girl to keep company with such a coarse-grained young man
simply because he is so "good hearted," and "means well," and the like.
To say the least, a depraved social taste will gradually develop in the
girl's life if she continue in such company.
Another contamination for the country girl sometimes results from the
depraved young woman who has drifted into the neighborhood. The girl
herself will be in the best position to detect such a type, as the
latter will be marked by her coarse manners when in the presence of the
girls, and by her practice of discussing obscene matters in private
conversation with them. This is the situation in which the innocent
young girl's mind may become forever poisoned and her wholesome faith in
humanity entirely too much unsettled.
2. _Bad companionships for boys._ Similar warnings as those given above
need to be sounded with reference to the young country boys, and others
as well. Farm boys are necessarily much in the company of men of very
common tastes and low ideals. They hear not a little evil conversation
and profanity, as it is used by such men. As a result, there will be
need of much constructive teaching at home. Admonitions, warnings, and
advice will be necessary.
In every instance it is well for the parents to remind the boy of the
great interest they have in his welfare, of how deeply he may grieve
them by taking up any of the evil practices in question, and of the high
ideal which they hold in mind for his future.
Farm parents will need to keep up an intimate and frank exchange of
ideas with their youthful son on the general subjects discussed in this
chapter. They may ask him to repeat all he has heard and to relate all
he has seen, good and bad, they then offering their corrections and
admonitions. The especial danger is that the boy may acquire evil forms
of speech, pernicious ideas for his secret thoughts, and a too low
estimate of the worth of humanity. The vile companion is especially
inclined to make the youth believe that there is no purity of character
among girls and women--a most lamentable state of mind for a boy or a
man of any age.
The boy in the country is not only very much in danger of having his
mind contaminated by the evil speech and the evil misinformation
mentioned above, but there is always the possibility of his being
enticed by some older and depraved companion into the company of evil
women. Strange to say, there are a few men who seem to plan deliberately
this form of downfall for innocent boys and to regard the success of
their vile plot in the light of a mere joke. It is perhaps a fault of
society that such men are permitted to run at large. And it is
especially the fault of fathers if such men keep company with their
boys. No matter how excellent the family history, how well-born the boy
may be, and how carefully he has been admonished, there is always some
danger of his yielding to an evil sex temptation--a situation which the
parent should always be watchful about and ready to meet.
3. _Secret sex habits._--It is probable that country boys are more prone
to secret perversions of their sex life than are city boys. The enforced
solitude of the former and the increased opportunities for such secret
evil may be accountable for the difference. In any event, there is
necessity of constant watchfulness, and that especially until the son
has reached comparative maturity of the physical body. The danger is at
its height at the beginning of the adolescent period, fourteen to
sixteen years of age. But the preparation for meeting the possible sex
perversion should be begun very early and consist in frank talks and
admonitions. The small boy's questions about the origin of life must be
answered frankly but only to the extent of imparting to him enough
information to satisfy his present curiosity. Thus to satisfy his
childish curiosity will prove a means of counteracting the evil
influences of the bad companionships referred to above. Then, the youth
needs to be shown some instances of the ruinous effects of sex
perversion in boys and men, together with the inculcation of the idea
that any such evil practice will cut off the possibility of his
realizing the high standards of moral character set for him. It is well
also to remember that prevention of the boy's misuse of his sex life is
comparatively easy and that cure is extremely difficult.
4. _The so-called bad habits._--When we speak of the "bad habits" among
boys and men we are inclined to think of swearing, smoking, and the use
of intoxicants. Without thought of defending the practice of profanity,
we may say that it is often acquired in an innocent fashion and that it
ordinarily implies no conscious or intentional evil. That is, it is
usually not so bad in its actual analysis as it sounds to the listener.
Moreover, it is a habit which many boys take up and afterwards
discontinue when once they have set up for themselves high standards of
manliness.
With juvenile smoking the case is different. Without the thought of
offending the adult smoker or defending adult smoking, we may say with a
high degree of certainty that the use of tobacco is extremely hurtful to
growing boys. It weakens and deranges the organic processes, leaves its
deleterious effects in the throat, eyes, and lungs, and breaks down the
natural constitutional defense so essential in time of such diseases as
pneumonia and typhoid fever. On the mental side, tobacco lessens the
boy's ability to study. Very wide investigations have shown that the
habitual smokers among school boys rank low in scholarship; that they
are prone to fail in their classes and quit the schools; that almost
none of them take high rank as students. The moral effects are even
worse. In times of temptation the young boy who smokes is more inclined
to yield and to choose the worse form of conduct instead of the better.
He lacks especially that fine sense of inner worth so necessary for the
one who would succeed in arousing his own moral courage sufficiently to
withstand the temptations that naturally beset young life. The rural
parents will not of course despair about the boy or turn against him
should they discover that he has secretly become confirmed in the use of
tobacco. There are still possibilities of his development into a
substantial character; but because of his smoking the problem becomes a
much more involved and difficult one.
All that has just been said in reference to tobacco may be emphasized
many fold in respect to intoxicants. To allow a growing boy to begin the
use of intoxicating drink in any form seems to be wholly indefensible.
However, if there are open saloons in the adjoining town or city, even
the best country boys are always somewhat in danger of taking the first
false step. Rural parents must not be satisfied with the thought that
their boy is "too good" to take up such a thing; they must be assured
that he is not doing so. Now, the only way to obtain such assurance is
by means of keeping in intimate touch with the boy and his
movements--by knowing when and where he goes, why he goes there, and
whom he meets in the various places visited on his rounds. Thus, he may
be saved from a life of debauch and degradation, and that by means of
providing carefully that he reach his full maturity of mind and body
without any knowledge of the taste of intoxicating drinks.
A CENTER OF COMMUNITY LIFE
As explained in a number of preceding chapters, there are being carried
out several plans for bringing about a social awakening in the farm
districts. Some of these are succeeding admirably, especially the county
Y.M.C.A., and in a few instances the rural church. But presumably there
are many thousands of country districts wherein these helpful agencies
will not be found for many years to come. So, in the following lines
there will be an attempt to furnish detailed methods and suggestions to
rural parents who are under the necessity of assisting their own
children in a social way. The discussion thus far has been of a somewhat
destructive order. Now, something of a constructive nature will be
offered.
The first essential in the awakening of a clean social life for the
young is a center of effort. If there be no church or clubhouse of any
kind within easy access of all, then the farm home may be made use of
for this service. There are many advantages in the common country home
as a social center for the young, among them being the probable presence
of some sympathetic parent to offer guidance and to keep down unbecoming
conduct.
INVITE THE YOUNG TO THE HOUSE
So, if country parents are really in earnest about doing something to
develop their own children in a social way, let them throw open their
own homes for the purpose. In a certain Iowa home this thing was done in
an admirable manner. Let the father tell the story in his own
language:--
"For years we had a room in the house which we called the 'parlor.' It
contained some expensive furniture which the members of the family
scarcely ever saw, as the place was usually kept closed up and dark. Why
we reserved such a dark, musty room for the 'special company' that came
two or three times each year, I do not know. At any rate, we decided to
make the place useful. In remodeling the house we enlarged it to 16 by
20 feet in size and added one very large window.
[Illustration: PLATE XXIII.
FIG. 30.--An agricultural and domestic science club in Oklahoma. Without
being so named, it is also distinctively a social club, and a splendid
socializing and refining agency.]
"Here we made a society room for the young people of the neighborhood.
Extra chairs were obtained, also a large new stove and fixtures for
gaslights. There were also some simple wall decorations and a small
library and reading table. That was two years ago. Since then our two
boys and two girls have given many parties in that room and no one
has got more enjoyment out of the affairs than their parents. We feel
as if that room was the best investment we ever made."
Not nearly all anxious parents may be so situated as to follow the
excellent plan described above, but it is certainly worthy of a trial by
all who can avail themselves of its benefits. Best of all, the young
people in whose behalf this thoughtful endeavor is put forth will most
certainly grow to maturity confirmed in the belief that the country life
is not lacking in its social enjoyments.
HOW TO CONDUCT A SOCIAL ENTERTAINMENT
In giving a social entertainment to the young people of the country,
there are a few simple yet common matters to be observed. First of all,
there is the frequent tendency toward reticence or backwardness. It will
be remembered, of course, that the object of the occasion is not merely
passing amusement for the young, but also that of furnishing some means
of character-development. In fact, the author wishes that every chapter
of this book be thought of as contributing something toward the building
up of young lives. So, in case of the home party, it will be necessary
to see that every one present takes some active part. The bashful youth
who is merely permitted to sit by and look on will go home secretly
displeased, if not much pained, at his own backwardness. He may even
fail to appear again on such an occasion, and thus the availability of
a most helpful agency be permanently lost to him.
It is not therefore so much a question of the dignity and importance of
the games played as it is a question of the active engagement of every
one present in the amusements. Much will depend on leadership. An able
leader will have the group organized before the several members realize
what is being done. An expert student and director of young people was
seen on a certain occasion to take charge of a party of forty boys and
girls ranging in age from fifteen to twenty years. These were quickly
placed standing in two parallel lines of twenty each. Each side was
given a dish of unhulled peanuts and asked to engage in a contest of
passing the nuts down the line one at a time, from hand to hand, the one
at the farther end of the line placing the nuts in a receptacle. This
simple game "broke the ice" for the entire evening. After that it was
easy to keep the entertainment going.
The supervisor of the social affair is advised to discourage all games
that tend to an over-amount of silliness and that allow for undue
familiarity of the sexes. There is, however, a dignified form of fun and
merriment quite as enjoyable as the baser sort. And, too, the leader of
the evening need not be reminded of the many little opportunities for
inculcating wholesome lessons in dignified manners. Many a "green" and
awkward country youth is started on the way to salvation through the
courteous treatment he receives from some older and much respected
person. Simply to treat him as if he were a dignified young gentleman
amounts to inciting him to put forth his greatest effort to make a show
of manliness. A close student of young nature will often observe that
merely to address such a youth as "Mister" So-and-So causes him to
straighten up and try to look the part.
The hostess and guide at the rural party of young people will err not a
little if she feels under the necessity of preparing a banquet or even a
heavy luncheon for the occasion. Something as simple as a light drink
and a wafer or two will be quite enough. The object of the refreshments
is not merely to feed the young people to the point of stupefaction, but
rather to give physical tone to support the vivacity of all.
WHAT ABOUT THE COUNTRY DANCE
Unless the country dance can be radically reformed, it must be very
strongly advised against. There is something about this occasion as
usually conducted which seems to invite coarse characters and
disreputable conduct. The country dance has so often been the scene of
vice, drunkenness, and other such evils as to have received a permanent
stigma of cheapness. The only seeming possibility of making a success of
it is by the method of inviting a very exclusive set to attend, and this
thing is so suggestive of aristocracy and snobbishness as to cause not
a little ill feeling in the neighborhood. Under present conditions the
country dance cannot be so managed as to make it contribute to the
social and moral uplift of country young people. There are many better
forms of entertainment which may be substituted for it.
Along with the country dance should be rated the cheap professional
entertainments that are so often given in the country school houses.
Many of these are not only degrading but are morally evil in their
suggestions, while they tend to give the young a depraved taste in
respect to public shows and theaters. The school trustees may well
exclude all such "shows" from the building.
ADDITIONAL FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT
The farm parents most desirous of leading in the young people's
entertainments, and best fitted to do so, may find it impracticable to
invite the young into their home. In such case, there are several other
ways whereby the desired ends may be achieved.
[Illustration: PLATE XXIV.
FIG. 31.--A rural scene in Canada, where the church and the school are
situated together. The large barn in the background is significant. Much
of the daily thought and conversation is centered here.]
1. _The social hour at the religious services._--It is deemed quite
advisable that those who plan the religious service in the country have
thought of a social hour in connection therewith. The latter may prove
fully as helpful in a constructive sense as the former, and it can in no
wise detract from the value of the religious meeting. This combination
of events is already being successfully tried in a number of places.
For example, at the mid-week evening service, there is given first an
hour to the prayer meeting or the discussion of the religious topics and
the church work. After that, the scene is changed into one of clean,
wholesome amusement with the special thought of giving the young people
social entertainment and training. It has been found that this very
method of uniting the religious and social service under a carefully
planned program sometimes more than doubles the attendance. Of course
the first essential for the success of such a meeting is that an able
leader be in charge of it.
2. _A country literary society._--In times gone by the country literary
society has played a mighty part indirectly in the building of the
nation. Many a statesman or leader of the people has received his first
aid and inspiration at the little old country "literary and debating
society." There is no good reason why this same general form of society
might not continue to do its effective work. However, in its best form,
there will be some additions to the old procedure of merely debating the
important public questions. The program makers may well have in mind the
ideal of bringing out every form of talent latent among the young of the
community. It is especially advisable that every young attendant be
given an invitation to do the part of which he is most capable, and that
he be urged to do it. It is quite possible to arrange a program upon
which only the ablest and most capable young persons of the neighborhood
may appear. But such would be a violation of the best purpose of the
society; namely, not merely to provide a first-class entertainment, but
an entertainment _which shall bring out the greatest possible variety of
talent and awaken interest and enthusiasm on the part of every member_.
Then, let the motto of the ideal country literary society be, "Something
worth while for every member to do." The old-fashioned country society,
like the older public school, was too narrow. It touched life and
awakened interests in only a few places. The old school tested a boy in
the three R's and geography. If he did well in these, he was "smart." If
he failed in the traditional subjects, he was branded as a dullard and
crowded out of the school, although in respect to some other untested
activities he may have been a slumbering genius. So with the primitive
"literary and debating society"; debating and "speaking pieces" were
practically the only numbers on the program and usually only the ablest
were allowed to appear. Ordinary talent in debating and reciting and all
manner of promising talent in other lines was allowed to slumber on in
the lives of many of the young people in attendance. Now, it is
practically a certainty that every member of the young literary society
can perform a part very acceptably, provided the discerning leader know
what that part is. And best of all, the bringing out of such talent
means the awakening of many other splendid interests among the youthful
members of the community, and finally the development of moral courage
and other forms of manliness and womanliness.
Now, to come to the point of a social result, the so-called literary
entertainment can easily be made up in two parts, the literary and the
social; and there should be set apart an hour for the latter.
3. _The social side of the economic clubs._--In many instances, there
will be organized boys' corn-raising or crop-improvement clubs, and with
them country clubs of the girls interested in household economy. These
club meetings may be made the occasion of not a little social
improvement. The boys and girls may meet at the same hour and place, and
after the business has been disposed of there may be a coming together
in a social way. Such arrangement is highly advisable for two reasons.
First, it will certainly increase the membership of the clubs; and,
second, the social instincts of the young people may be suitably
indulged.
SOME CONCLUDING SUGGESTIONS
The leader interested in the foregoing plans may again be reminded of
the necessity of instituting a social organization of such a nature as
to touch all the young lives in the neighborhood. The rules and
regulations governing the society should therefore be drawn on broad
and liberal lines, not forgetting the great possibilities of awakening
slumbering interests and aptitudes, and of building up a social
community that will draw young people to it.
If one will take the time to drive for a hundred miles in a direct line
through the farm districts, as the author has done, he will be not a
little surprised at the striking contrast in the social conditions of
the various neighborhoods passed through. In one instance he will be
told that there is absolutely nothing present to invite the young--a
dull, dead place with perhaps many run-down farms and farm homes to keep
it company. He will learn that the young people of such a community are
running off to some neighboring town where many of them find a cheap and
degrading class of entertainment. But the next adjoining neighborhood
may present a converse situation. One will be told that the young people
are happy and contented there, that they have frequent meetings of their
social clubs and other forms of organization; most probably the
appearance of the neighborhood will be likewise much better than that of
the other one mentioned. Attractive homes, well-kept roads and hedges,
and other evidences of prosperity will meet one's view.
In one district visited, the author found that this better situation had
an interesting history and that it was nearly all traceable to a quarter
of a century of public-spiritedness of one man. This resident had
settled upon a quarter section of good land. While he was reconstructing
his own home and its surroundings into a place of attractiveness, he was
continually engaged in awakening the entire neighborhood in behalf of
better things. He had led out in establishing a well-attended Sunday
school in the district, had been instrumental in instituting regular
preaching service there twice each month, had led the entire
neighborhood out on more than one occasion for a day's work in improving
and beautifying the school grounds, had been the organizer and director
of the country literary society, and of more than one club of farmers
and their wives. During all this time he was correspondent for one or
two county papers and used every occasion for advertising the home
community. All together, it was a most commendable and far-reaching
service which this one man performed for his own neighborhood. So, it
may be said that wherever there is one inspired leader in a country
community, there is life.
Finally, it may be urged that the biggest thing in the rural community
is not the big crop of corn or wheat or the excellent breeds of live
stock. Important as these things are, the great concern of the community
should be the development of sterling character in the lives of the
growing boys and girls and the cleanness and integrity of the
personalities of every one within the neighborhood limits. To that end
let this social center ideal be actualized, becoming a place toward
which the thoughts of all will go frequently and fondly during the hours
of care and toil. Let it be made a place the thought of which will
forever impart a full measure of good cheer, of contentment, and of
honest courage to the mind of every member of the society thereabout.
Let it be a place so ordered and arranged that things sacred and divine
may reach down to the things often thought of as very commonplace and
mean, and exalt the latter to their true and proper place. Lastly, let
it be earnestly desired and planned for that every heart in the rural
district shall be rekindled with a living fire of enthusiasm in behalf
of the general improvement--of interest in the things that are high and
divine, and of affection and good will toward all in the community. Let
some local resident rise up as leader and bring this order of things to
pass, and the social experiences of the young people will naturally
become of such a nature as to develop them into men and women of great
worth and efficiency.
REFERENCES
Wider Use of the School Plant. Clarence Arthur Perry. Chapter
IX, "Social Centers." Charities Publication Committee, N.Y.
Chapters on Rural Progress. Kenyon L. Butterfield. Chapter
XIV, "The Social Side of the Farm Question." University of
Chicago Press.
Development and Education. M. V. O'Shea. Chapter XIV,
"Problems of Training." Houghton, Mifflin Company.
Social Control. Edward A. Ross. Ph.D. Chapters VII and VIII,
"The Need and Direction of Social Control." Macmillan.
The Girl Wanted. Nixon Waterman. Forbes & Co., Chicago. A
wholesome and cheering book for girls.
Confidences. Edith B. F. Lowry, M.D. Forbes & Co. Plain,
helpful talks regarding the sex life of girls.
See the excellent editorial article, "Forces that Move
Upward," _Farmer's Voice_, June 15, 1911.
Causes of Delinquency Among Girls. Falconer. _Annals American
Academy_. Vol. 36, p. 77.
Democracy and Education. Dr. J. B. Storms. Annual Volume
N.E.A., 1907, p. 62.
The Efficient Life. Dr. L. H. Gulick. Chapter III, "Life That
is Worth While." Doubleday, Page Company.
The Ideals of a Country Boy. A. D. Holloway in _Rural
Manhood_, May, 1910.
Why Not Education on the Sex Question. Editorial article.
_Review of Reviews_, January, 1910.
Report of Vice Commission of Chicago. Chapter V, "Child
Protection and Education." Guntorf-Warren Printing Co.,
Chicago.
The Spirit of Democracy. Charles Fletcher Dole. Chapter XXIX,
"The Education for a Democracy." Crowell & Co.
The Education of the Boy of To-morrow. A. D. Dean. _World's
Work_, April, 1911. Prize essay.
College and the Rural Districts. W. N. Stearns. _Education_,
April, 1911.
The Boy Problem. Educational pamphlet No. 4. Society for
Sanitary and Moral Prophylaxis, N.Y. 10 cents. Treats ably
the question of social purity.
Genesis. A Manual for Instruction of Children in Matters of
Sex. B. S. Talmey, M.D. Practitioners' Publishing Company,
N.Y.