_HOW MUCH WORK FOR THE COUNTRY GIRL_
Imagine a wedding scene in a rural home. The only daughter, a young
woman of ideal age for marriage, is joining her heart and her hand, for
weal or for woe, to those of a young man of suitable character. But
strange and unexpected as it may seem, there are many tears on the part
of the immediate relatives of the girl. Her parents are manifesting the
strange emotion of solemnity at a time when gaiety might be expected.
Why is it? you ask. The whole situation has an interesting and inspiring
history. It is simply this: During all her years the parents of this
girl have watched her grow up, through infancy, childhood, maidenhood,
and finally into the full maturity of a woman; and every stage of her
growth has been carefully safe-guarded by them. They have made the home
life and the home work serve her needs and purposes in a most beautiful
and instructive manner. They seem to have attempted at all times to put
into their daughter's life just such experience as would become a
helpful part of her growing character. And what a reward! What a
splendid satisfaction to the worthy parents to be able to contribute to
society such a product of their affectionate care and training!
A BALANCED LIFE FOR THE GIRL
Should we follow it out, the biography of the good young woman mentioned
above would teach many a valuable lesson to the parents of other
girls--would teach them that a growing girl has her specific needs and
her inherent rights, which must be provided for by her parents through
the proper kind of directing and caretaking. A certain amount of
restraint, of work, of play, of recreation, of social experiences, of
practice in self-dependence, of opportunity for service of others--yes,
a certain amount of all these things must be conscientiously supplied
for the life of the growing girl so that she may develop into a
well-rounded character.
Parents are not accused of intentional wrong to their daughters. Such
cases are rare. The chief sins against the daughters of the rural homes
are the sins of neglect, of indifference, and of ignorance as to what
were necessary to be done. So what we may accomplish in this chapter is,
first to arouse parents to an appreciation of the seriousness of the
problem before them; and second, to offer some specific aids to the
better achievement of the task of bringing up a girl to the rural home.
It is a well-established principle in plant propagation that certain
nutrient elements must be present in the soil before growth will go on
properly. It does not satisfy the needs of the plant for some of the
chemical substances to be present in large amount if the others be
absent. There must be a sort of balanced ration for the vegetable life.
Similarly in case of that tender plant of the household, the young girl;
she can be kept alive on work and study alone, but for beautiful and
symmetrical growth other elements of character-nourishment are
necessary. What are they? The reader is referred to Chapter I for a
general list.
The hurry of work and the isolation of the ordinary country home tend to
foster an over-serious disposition in girls. There is too little to
provoke a smile and not half enough practice in smiling. Laughter is
also too infrequent. A boy may grow up habitually stern and sedate and
yet be able to fight his way through a successful manhood. But with the
girl it is different. Her habit of smiling and of being pleasant and
agreeable may prove to be one of her most valuable charms. So, the early
and continuous training of the girl in sociability must be considered
among the parental duties to her; and that by encouraging her to be
sociable at home and by providing that she have frequent companionship
with others of her age.
WORK BEGINS WITH OBEDIENCE
One of the initial steps in the training of a child is that of securing
a willing obedience, a habitual performance of required tasks and
duties. It may prove an easy matter to drive the girl to the work. But
how about the problem of teaching her to take up her daily tasks
willingly and with a joyous heart? Girls are little different from boys
at this stage of their education. They do not take naturally and fondly
to work. They will slight and neglect it. Worse than that, if untrained
in faithfulness to household duties, they will lounge about the place or
run much in society and allow their mothers to work themselves slowly to
death--and scarcely seem to realize what is taking place.
Similarly as in case of the boy, some forcing, some rebuke, and
occasional punishment will be necessary to initiate the girl into the
work habit. But shortly obedience and willingness will come, and with
them a deeper consciousness than is manifested in her young brother.
After that, the danger of over-work will soon begin to be apparent to
the watchful mother, and be guarded against.
Habit formation is a prominent factor in the first lessons of obedience
in work. It will be highly advisable to start everything right. After a
few instances of slighting one kind of work or expending too much energy
upon another kind the young character begins to take on these faults
permanently. Many women scrub floors and wash dishes unto their death.
Others perform these endless tasks quite as well "in a jiffy" and go on
their way singing. Why is this? Is it not a matter which the mother
should think about most seriously in relation to the training of her
daughter?
WORKING THE GIRLS IN THE FIELD
Is there any justification for requiring a girl to work in the field
with the men and boys? Many girls are doing so, whether required or not.
Careful consideration of the matter seems to bring out a few
suggestions. The farm girl while a child under ten years may accompany
the father or the brothers into the field and there be permitted to do
some light work occasionally, provided she regard it in a semi-playful
way. On very rare occasions, when older, she may be rightfully called on
to drive a rake for a day or take some similar part of the work in order
to help prevent the loss of a valuable crop.
But the practice followed by some farmers, of often requiring their
daughters to do a man's work in the field, and excusing the fault with
the thought that it is for the sake of laying up wealth for her future
enjoyment--that is abominable and should be prohibited by law. Among
other objections, it is probably most hurtful to the young woman's pride
and self-respect to be forced to perform farm labor. And then, during
such time as she works in the field her much needed opportunities for
the practice of the womanly arts and refinements are slipping away.
Of course we should not take away from the country-reared woman the
poetic sentiment about the days of her childhood when she helped rake
the hay and drive the cattle home, "just for fun."
SOME SPECIFIC SUGGESTIONS
It is difficult, of course, to lay down specific rules here, because
every case is a special one. But nearly all intelligent parents can
easily determine whether or not they are fair to their girls. It would
seem reasonable that in addition to the affection and interest properly
bestowed upon her in the home, the daughter should have at least the
same measure of value--money value--put upon her work as is the rule
with the hired helper. Certainly no worthy parent would ask her to work
for a smaller sum.
Too many of these good, promising girls are cramped and limited in their
lives until the self-pride is crushed well-nigh out of them. Often such
young women will be seen moping about in a stooped attitude of body,
stiff and awkward in their manners, lacking in self-confidence and in
that beautiful grace and ease of movement which mark the well-developed
young woman of twenty years. All of this is more or less indicative of
parental disregard and mistreatment--indicative that some one has
cheated her out of the time that should have been allowed for rest and
recreation and social improvement and given her in exchange an
over-amount of grinding toil and enforced seclusion--_all for the sake
of the work and the profits_.
It is a singular fact that so many country mothers make no provision for
throwing extra safeguards around their young daughter during the monthly
period of physical drain and weakness. It could probably be shown that
her lowered vitality and the increased susceptibility to fatigue at this
time make almost complete rest and relaxation highly advisable. It is
also most probable that the strain of work and the exposure to inclement
weather, so often allowed during the monthly period, are the incipient
causes of life-long weakness and disease.
DO YOU OWN YOUR DAUGHTER?
There are still not a few parents who are possessed of the old-fashioned
idea that their children belong to them, that they have a proprietary
right in their own sons and daughters. Just now there is thought of a
father who is intelligent, in many ways above the average man, but who
seems to regard his twenty-three-year-old daughter as a sort of chattel.
Being a widower, he needs her services, so he would employ her at the
least possible wages, or none, to take charge of the home, rear the two
or three smaller children, and cook and keep house for himself and three
or four hired men. The best excuse that may be offered for this man's
attitude toward his daughter is sheer ignorance of the true meaning of
the situation. But such treatment of a mature daughter is little short
of cruelty. This young woman should have every possible opportunity just
now to prepare herself for the future. Her conduct for the present may
even have the appearance of being somewhat selfish in order that her
future well-being and that of those dependent upon her may be
safe-guarded.
Further details of the foregoing case need not be given. The issue to be
made out of it is this: The parent who is doing the fair and square
thing by his daughter not only trains her to work and then safeguards
her life against an over-amount of work, but he also sees to it that the
labor she performs is contributive to her enjoyment, to the
strengthening of her character, and to the perfection of her life for
the future. Parents are justified in using every possible means as
contributory to the future well-being of their growing daughters, and
all this for the sake of the generations yet unborn. Thus, perhaps
without realizing the fact at all, the former may return to the race
life that measure of assistance which they themselves received.
DIFFICULT TO MAKE A SCHEDULE
It is difficult to make out a schedule of hours for the growing girl as
we did for the boy, but the former chapter may be taken as a general
guide. As with the boy, so with the girl, the first step in discipline
is that of securing a willing obedience. Then the tasks may be assigned
in accordance with the girl's age and strength. There is no good reason
for attempting to get work out of the child through a make-believe
policy of play. Children had better be made to understand from the first
that the world we live in is constructed largely through work; and that
labor is honorable and may even be made pleasurable.
"I should rather do the work myself than be bothered with trying to get
the children to do it," is a very common expression, and one which
indicates an erroneous idea of the problem we are considering. So long
as parents put their children at the tasks merely for the sake of
getting the tasks done, the children will suffer as a consequence. But
if the thought of the child's need of the discipline coming from work be
uppermost, then, the results are likely to be wholesome.
TEACH THE GIRL SELF-SUPREMACY
One of the greatest problems of the future of the race is involved in
the fact that many thousands of the best young women in the land--young
women who are well fitted to be the mothers of a better race of human
beings than we now have--are choosing an independent calling for
themselves. It is the author's belief that one of the most tragic
experiences known to any considerable portion of the American people
is this gradual starvation of the maternal instinct usually necessary in
the case of the well-sexed young woman of the class just mentioned.
[Illustration: PLATE XXII.
FIG. 29.--An industrial exhibit in a country school. If the boys and
girls could enjoy frequently the refining experience of having their
work observed by approving eyes, their appointed tasks would seem
lighter.]
And yet much of this fatal choice of an independent vocation on the part
of many young women doubtless results from bad management of the growing
girl. In too many country homes especially, the work is complete master
of the housekeeper and not the converse, as the case should be. As a
result, thousands of good women who ought to be in the pink and prime of
life are going pathetically to the only rest which the conditions seem
to allow--the grave. It is an awful thing, this wreck of so many good
lives through over-work. Under such conditions, may we reasonably
censure the many young women who foresee such a fate as a possibility
for themselves and avoid it through choice of an unmarried life and
independent support?
Girls are more readily enslaved to work than boys. It is comparatively
easy to teach a young woman to work, but it is an extremely difficult
matter to teach her when and how to quit work. Here, then, is the point
whereat we would center the attention of the parents of the country
girl. Make her mistress of her work. Develop in her by actual concrete
lessons the ability to stop and rest or take recreation at the necessary
time, even though the work be not half done.
SUMMARY
1. Give the girl a trifling daily task at four or five years of age,
merely for the sake of discipline. See to it, however, that her young
life be occupied chiefly in play and enjoyment and outdoor recreation.
2. Gradually increase the amount of work required, but always with an
eye single to the girl's physical growth and character-development. Some
definite thing to do as a regular daily requirement will prove most
helpful.
3. Continue throughout the daughter's growing years to provide for her
pleasure. Her schooling, her personal belongings, her social advantages,
and the like, must all be made to serve the purpose of making her life
in the home a happy one. As she grows in strength and years, she will
assume the increased amount of work with willingness and even with
pleasure, provided the assigned duties be vitally related to her present
purposes and her life interests.
4. Moreover, country parents must learn to think of themselves as first
of all engaged in bringing up their children for a better human society;
and secondly, as engaged in farming and housekeeping. If this point of
view be held to persistently, the crops may often suffer and the
housework frequently remain unfinished, but the vital interests of the
boys and girls will continue ever to be served.
5. Finally, let us continue to appreciate the value of outings and
vacations as potent factors in relieving the drudgery of work about the
country household. Women's work in the country home naturally calls for
much isolation and seclusion. The pre-adolescent girl should be taken
out of the farm home once or twice per week during the summer vacation.
It is good for her to go with her mother to the town market and to the
women's club meetings. As soon as she enters young womanhood, a square
deal for the girl who helps in the home will call for a weekly outing of
some kind and a careful provision for her social needs. All of this
outside intercourse will serve to quicken the body and the intellect of
the girl as she goes daily about the household duties, and to give her
"Thoughts that on easy pinions rise
And hopes that soar aloft to the skies."
REFERENCES
The author has been able to find little printed matter of
worth on the important problems outlined in this chapter. The
industrial training of the country girl is a neglected
subject. It seems to have been taken for granted that she
needed none.
Sex and Society. W. I. Thomas, pp. 149-175, "Sex and
Primitive Industry." University of Chicago Press. Shows in
outline the emancipation of women from the bondage of work.
Growth and Education. John M. Tyler. Chapter XII, "Manual
Training Needed for Girls." Houghton Mifflin Company.
Mind and Work. Dr. L. H. Gulick. Chapter II, "The Habit of
Success"; also Chapter XIII, "The Need of Adequate Work."
Doubleday, Page Company.
Motive for Work. Margaret E. Schallenbeyer. Annual Report
N.E.A. 1907.
_Wallaces' Farmer._ Des Moines, Iowa. Weekly. This periodical
prints many articles, editorial and contributed, which
discuss the subjects treated in the foregoing chapter.
The Mother of the Living. Mrs. Catherine Barton. Published by
the Author. Kansas City, Mo.
The Girl Wanted. Nixon Waterman. Chapter VIII, "The Purpose
of Life." Forbes & Co., Chicago.
Life's Day. William L. Bainbridge, M.D. Chapter VIII, "The
Irresponsible Age." Frederic A. Stokes Company. N.Y.