ST HELENA--ASCENSION--MONKEYISH PRANKS IN THE “HORSE”
LATITUDES--YOUNG BEN’S FATE--AN IRISH WAKE ON THE LINE--NARROW
ESCAPE--THE MAURITIUS STEAMSHIP--OCEAN VISITORS--A WESTERLY
GALE--SIGHT THE WHITE CLIFFS OF BRIGHTON--SALUTE THE NATIVE
SOIL--A GREEDY MOUTHFUL--A DARK IMPRESSION--DIRECT ATTENTION
OF GOVERNMENT TO NEGLECTED STATE OF NAPOLEON’S LATE RESIDENCE
IN ST HELENA--OBTAIN REPLY IN 1855--DESIRE TO OBTAIN ACTIVE
MILITARY EMPLOYMENT--DELAYS OF THE HORSE GUARDS AUTHORITIES--MY
RECEPTION THERE.
We had a fine passage as far as St Helena. The Arethusa was a fast
sailer and a good sea boat, although rather crank at times under the
press of canvas we sometimes induced our good-natured Captain B---- to
clap on her lofty spars; in fact she was overmasted, and required all
that nice attention as to trimming that a top-heavy belle of the seas
must have not to show too much of her keel.
From St Helena we sailed towards Ascension, noted for its turtle.
The island itself is a dull, brown spot lying in the sea, its cracked
surface looking like a burnt egg-shell. This place was discovered by
Jan de Noves, a Portuguese navigator, on Ascension Day, 1501--hence its
name--at least so I was told by a whitey-brown native who boarded us.
We had now arrived somewhat near the “horse” latitudes, and in calm
weather, and with no work to kill the time, we began some horseplay
with the monkeys on board. The name given to these latitudes arose
from the number of horses the Spaniards used to throw overboard when
becalmed--sometimes for weeks--in these regions, passing to and fro
between their South American possessions and Europe. The chief object
of our fun on board was a large, greenish, long-tailed monkey, who,
with Darwinian forethought, had pitched upon young C---- as the fittest
selection Providence had placed within his reach on the high seas. The
competition as to natural fitness was so close between the two, that it
was often a cause of serious dispute as to which should have his way.
One day, after a sharp bout of this kind, a real quarrel ensued, as
will occur sometimes in the best-regulated families; and young C----,
who prided himself much on ancestral descent, as, no doubt, did also
his still more anciently descended rival, came to a regular stand-up
fight with the monkey. Strength was on the side of C----, whilst
cunning and skill were on the side of the old un; but at last the
upstart gave his ancient _confrère_ such a tremendous upper cut, as he
was holding on to the ratlines, near the bulwark, that he was knocked
out of time into the bosom of the impenetrable deep, and poor young Ben
(that was the name of our monkey) had to swim for it.
As this typical representative of lost nationality and universal
brotherhood breasted the waves like a corker, we tried to lower a
boat; but although the apparatus always acts at home, it never does
at sea, so the boat stuck up in the air on its davits. We then threw
a life-belt towards the now nearly exhausted Ben; but although he had
enough instinct to grasp it, he had not enough sense to pass it over
his head and under his arms. So we saw his efforts getting slowly
weaker and weaker as he clasped and clutched at the slippery buoy,
and at length he sank beneath the waves, down, down among the dead
men, to be found again, no doubt, one day by some yet undreamt-of
ethno-geologist, who will perhaps deduce from his bones that the
aborigines of the Atlantic were very little men, with long caudal
appendages, and descant learnedly upon every link in that long tail,
until he comes to the end of his own, and finds out his mistake.
In commemoration of this sad event we proposed a sort of Irish wake, to
be held as we passed the line.
From Ascension we reached away so far to the west that nothing but the
most abstract calculation could give our captain any idea as to the
latitude and longitude in which we really were, and our little bark
seemed to be dancing about on the line like an amateur rope-dancer.
This is a rather metaphysical metaphor; but I am talking learnedly now,
influenced, no doubt, by our skipper’s tuition. Time hanging heavily
on my hands in this dead calm, when even the green waves assumed the
lifeless heaviness of molten lead, I had taught myself navigation,
and held such lengthy discussions with our captain as to the position
and value of stars, planets, and constellations, as to appear to the
somewhat astonished listeners around as though I were a Newton and a
Pascal rolled into one.
The captain and I, over our glasses (telescopes I mean, of course), had
become so awfully knowing, that my only doubts were as to which knew
the least of the two; and it was only for the sake of the respect due
to seniority in this happy ignorance that I allowed him to navigate the
ship. One day, however, nettled by some critical observations of mine,
in a sudden fit of displeasure he threw up his commission as skipper,
and I took his place; but as it happened to be a dead calm at the time,
I had no means of showing my superior seamanship. Thus time passed on,
while I still retained a certain happy-go-lucky faith in my own _star_
quite as strong as the captain’s in his. In this I was fully justified,
as the sequel will show.
On passing over the supposed line, which our captain, after dinner,
had kindly chalked out before us in a very zigzag manner on the
mahogany, in the prelude to the _in memoriam_ wake for poor Ben, whom,
as I previously stated, we had left deep down in the phosphorescent
waters of the southern hemisphere. While others were singing song after
song in happy oblivion of past warfare at the Cape, _I_ was thinking
that we had entered into British waters. This was somewhat a stretch
of imagination, but nothing is too big for me when I dream of Old
England--like Ben, I dive into futurity. Thus human nature seeks for
pleasure and enjoyment in many and varied channels, according to its
own appreciation of wherein these consist.
The bottle was circling freely, and the hot, stifling atmosphere of the
mess-cabin below made us feel delightfully dry every time it neared us,
as one after another we passed the Rubicon between self-possession and
being possessed. Notwithstanding all this joviality, an uncomfortable
feeling was slowly creeping over me, and at last became so unbearable
that I ran upon deck to breathe the fresh air. How grand all appeared
under that mighty dome, compared to the rafters of the cabin below!
The night was glorious in its starry splendour; the sea slept gently
heaving, as though with loving dreams surging, while soft breezes
rippled its face with smiles.
The boisterous mirth arising from the cabin below seemed strangely out
of place. I turned to the man at the helm; the idiot seemed as screwed
as the wheel that rolled in his slackened grasp. “Holloa, mate!” I
said, “what is that light on the water you are steering for?” pointing
to a flame I saw gleaming there. “A tar-barrel,” he said, “some chaps
passing the line have chucked overboard.” “But it is nearing us too
fast for that--look out, man! Good God! its a ship!--luff, luff!” and
suiting the action to the word, I jumped to the wheel and jammed the
helm down; then swiftly glided by a huge black hull, its deck crowded
with dusky figures, shouting and gesticulating to us like demons, its
stern grazing our quarter, as the good ship Arethusa, like a form
endowed with life, sprang up into the wind, and saved herself from
destruction. One second more and we had been down, down amongst the
dead men, not far from poor Ben.
Up rushed the startled convivialists from below, some with their
glasses still in hand, and I crept ’neath the bulwarks, and kneeling,
felt a mother’s prayer had been heard that night on my behalf. This
vessel proved to be the Mauritius, a large iron screw, then bound on
her first voyage to India round the Cape. She was afterwards one of the
fleet of transports placed under my orders for the conveyance of troops
to the Crimea, an account of which will shortly appear in my military
correspondence concerning that war. This narrow squeak sobered us for
a few days, but our spirits revived as the western winds now began to
blow.
The frigate-hawk--a truly wonderful bird for its powers of flight--came
often to pay us a visit, and changed the monotony of continually
looking into the sea for beings endowed with life. I might have shot
one or two, and had the head of my rifle more than once on their
bodies, as they floated overhead without a quiver in their outspread
wings; but such aerial life I did not like to see streaked with blood,
so I left them alone in their boundless home, instead of sending them
to a glass cage in the British Museum.
Of shark, bonito, and other scaly-looking denizens of the sea, there
had been often exciting scenes of what some called sport, but I must
say I never could see much fun in it. I certainly should have liked to
have had a go-in with a vicious-looking shark on fair terms, but then
I was most undeniably afraid of him in the water, and on the deck of
our ship he was no match for me; so, before I had seen two such hooked
monsters hauled on board and butchered with spears and knives, I used
to feel rather disgusted than otherwise with such displays.
As for the huge, gaunt-looking albatross as they flapped their
leather-looking wings like vampires around us, no one seemed
particularly anxious to settle accounts with them: a superstitious awe
influenced even the most reckless amongst us as they circled above our
heads. Curiously enough, the only one who had the courage to pull a
trigger at them was young K---- of the 74th, and he died soon after he
landed.
We were now in latitudes where westerly gales are of frequent
occurrence, and a rattling one caught us one night as we were running
with studding-sails set. So sudden was its approach that there could be
no question of our taking in sail; so, in a storm of wind and rain, we
flew along as though Neptune on his foaming sea-horses was trying to
catch us. The poor little Arethusa fairly staggered under the force of
the gale, like a startled hare now swerving to the right, now to the
left, twisting, cracking, and burying herself in the sea as deep as she
could without absolutely giving up the struggle and going once for all
to the bottom, until old blustering Boreas at last, in kind compassion,
relieved us of some spars. Then, with the rags of our late flaunting
sails, and with just as much more as was necessary to steady us on our
course, we proceeded more safely if more humbly than before. The little
ship rose buoyant to the seas as though no longer afraid of them,
starting afresh from the top and sliding down the ribbed backs of the
long-rolling billows, defying them as they crested their foaming heads
in anger behind us.
It was very exciting. I thought of Sam Rowe and his little smack
battling with such weather, and though I had more confidence in his
skill than in that of our skipper, yet, like Tom Bowling, I preferred
the Arethusa in the Bay of Biscay to the Mary Jane.
Good old Sam! I hope he won’t think me foolish as he reads these
lines--for the old boy is hale and hearty yet, and, with spectacles on
nose, and ‘Western Times’ in hand, can still discuss matters shrewdly.
On the 30th July the white cliffs of Brighton gladdened our eyes, and
running up the coast, we hove to off Eastbourne and took a pilot on
board. Some of us were so anxious to get ashore that we took passage in
the boat that had brought out the pilot, and with a cheer from some of
the more patient who had remained on deck, pulled away to the beach;
but on our arrival there, we found that the boat was too deep in the
water to get close in to the shore. This did not stop us. Young L----
and I jumped into the surf up to our waists and waded ashore. This
ducking had in no wise cooled my excitement, for, in placing my foot
once more on English soil, I threw myself on the ground and gave it a
hearty kiss.
After this exhibition I felt rather taken aback by the astonished looks
of some sight-seers who had come down to view our disembarkation. On
rising to explain matters to the astonished natives I could not get a
word out. They no doubt thought me to be choking with emotion, but it
was otherwise. In the fervour of my embrace the sand had got into my
mouth, and, as I had no tooth-brush at hand, I was obliged to make use
of my finger to remove a lump of my fatherland from my mouth, as though
it had been a quid.
Young L----, who jumped with me from the boat, had also gone through
the same kissing ceremony; he, however, had not taken such a greedy
mouthful, and after carefully wiping the salt water from his boots and
trousers with his handkerchief, kindly offered to perform the same
operation for me. To this I consented; but I thought he was paying
rather too much solicitude to my appearance as he scrubbed away at my
face; however, the task once over, we started for the Parade, to the
laughing astonishment of all the bystanders. After proceeding a little
distance L---- left me on some frivolous pretext, and I went on alone.
On reaching the Parade, among the first persons I met were Lady
P---- and her daughters--intimate friends of my family. Without much
hesitation I gave the old lady a kiss, and would have continued
the salute all round if allowed, had not the expression, or rather
impression, on her ladyship’s face made me hesitate. She had a marbled
forehead, a black-spotted nose, and a comically shaped O round her
lips. I saw that I must have blackened her face; and as I knew that
it could not have been done by any African black imported from the
Kaffirs, I recollected that it must have been by some of Day & Martin’s
received from L----’s pocket-handkerchief as we made our hurried
toilet on the beach. Lady P---- kindly accepted my excuses for this
uncalled-for display of polished attention, and after a few words of
explanation, left me spotless of any design to darken either her face
or her fame.
On arriving in London I continued busy for some days in forwarding my
importations, bulbs, and plants to my home, at that time at Grangewood,
Leicester; and the springbok, monkeys, &c., to the “Zoo” in Regent’s
Park.
My first serious business after my arrival was to bring the disgraceful
condition of the great Napoleon’s last residence to the attention
of her Majesty’s Government. Every time my thoughts travelled back
to my late undertakings in South Africa they passed over St Helena,
and recoiled with shame at the desolate state into which England had
allowed this place to fall. I, however, had not a voice loud enough
to be heard at the time, and notwithstanding my repeated efforts in
that direction, I could not get a member of the Government during the
Gladstonian era to take the matter up. It was only in 1855 that I at
last obtained a hearing. Lord Clarendon, to whom I sent a copy of my
suggestions as to what England ought to do, wrote me to say that I
should no doubt be glad to hear that her Majesty’s Government had taken
the necessary measures to place the tomb, residence, &c., under the
safeguard of the French Government. He did not, however, mention a word
of recognition as to its having been done at my suggestion; in fact,
on re-reading his letter to-day, it seems to imply that _he_ was the
author of the whole affair, and _I_ merely a busy-body in the matter.
My correspondence during the conferences held for the signing of the
Treaty of Paris will explain many curious, and I may say interesting,
details as to this Treaty still undreamt of by the public.
I now turned my attention to the attainment of my long-hoped-for
position in the British army; and in this the Duke of Newcastle, then
Colonial Minister--who had always taken a warm interest in my welfare,
as he did in that of many others--promised to support me to the utmost
of his power, in accordance with the deserts of my actual services, and
the loud recognition the colonists themselves in their addresses to me
had vouchsafed to give. Days and weeks went by without any progress
being made in the matter, and I passed my time in travelling between
London and Tamworth. Now and then, indeed, I attended a public dinner,
at which I made short, confused speeches--for I really never could
understand what I had done worth being thanked for; and I only hoped to
be enabled, from my past efforts and position acquired, to do something
more.
This opportunity, however, the Horse Guards authorities seemed
determined not to give me. One day I received a letter from the
Colonial Secretary, saying I had better come up to town and place the
matter myself before the proper authorities. This was an intense bore
to me. If I had rendered any real service it was patent enough to
explain itself, but I had an excessive dislike to perform the part of
oculist to those who were wilfully blind. However, I submitted so far
as to write the usual letter asking for an audience of the Military
Secretary. The reply came in due time, and I presented myself at the
Horse Guards on the day stated for reception.
My number was twelve; and when it was called out I went to the door
leading to the audience-room, and was in the act of entering, when a
tall, lanky fellow, coming up quickly from behind, pushed me aside, and
thrust himself before me into the room. I was in no good humour at the
time, and I have no doubt looked bent on resenting this impertinent
act; but before I could reach out my hand to turn this young fellow
round and ask for an explanation, Colonel Airey stepped up between us,
and said, “Captain Lakeman, let me beg of you to wait for a few minutes
outside, for I have some words of importance to communicate to this
gentleman.”
I felt but little inclined to accede to this wish, and explained that I
had as yet no apology for what had taken place. He said he would give
me that himself, and again begged me kindly to wait outside.
To this, after some demur, I consented, for I could not readily
conceive what prevented the young man in question from giving an excuse
for his rudeness, assuming that he had one to offer; so I said, as
he was looking from the Colonel to me, open-mouthed, without saying
a word, “If this gentleman is a foreigner, and cannot speak English,
let the matter rest for the moment,” and thereupon I left the room. I
stayed, kicking my heels for some time outside, strongly tempted to
leave, for I felt instinctively nothing good was likely to result from
the proposed interview; but I thought of the kind-hearted Duke, and to
oblige him I remained.
At length my number was called again, and upon entering, the Colonel
was most off-handed in his communications. “You see, Captain Lakeman,”
he said, “the times are looking dark in the East, as you no doubt are
aware, and coming events cast their shadows before: much anxiety is
felt at the Horse Guards. I have some doubts myself as to whether I
shall not throw down the pen and take up the sword. You see blood will
tell, and that young gentleman, who I must say behaved rather abruptly
towards you, came also to offer his services at this critical time.” I
said, “May I ask you, Colonel, the name of that young man?” “Oh dear
me, yes!” he said; “it was Viscount Forth. You see, Captain Lakeman,”
he added, “that in times such as these we want the back-bone of the
nation, the English aristocracy, to come to the front.” (By a curious
coincidence this _back-bone_ of the nation did come to the front in
the Crimea, in the very first engagement he was in, for he showed it
instead of his chest to the Russians as he bolted to Balaklava.) “And
I have just presented to him a commission. Now please let me know,
Captain Lakeman, what I can do for you.”
I was turning over in my mind what answer to give to this polite
inquiry, when this usually taciturn military secretary, in seemingly
overflowing spirits, burst out again, with a wave of the hand--
“Oh, it is needless to ask; his Grace has kindly spoken in your behalf,
but really I am sorry to say that we have bestowed so many commissions
of late, that I think, after all, as you are rich, you had better
purchase, and I will do all I can to remove any impediments in the way
as to age, &c.”
I was then twenty-four. This very kind proposal had such a supremely
ridiculous effect on me, that notwithstanding all my efforts to contain
myself before so dignified a person as the Military Secretary, I could
not help laughing audibly. It did not even occur to me that I ought to
make any attempt to conceal my amusement at this ridiculous proposal,
so, bowing lowly, I rose and left the room, leaving the somewhat
astonished Colonel alone in his doubts as to whether, after all,
Viscount Forth or myself had the best claims to a commission in her
Majesty’s service.
This was the discouraging result of a military education, finished at
the best Continental schools, with the further advantage of having
accompanied European armies in the field for the sake of instruction;
of having placed the modern rifle, at my own expense, in the hands
of the British soldier; of showing the use of better accoutrements
(my men wore the helmet in 1851); of having been mentioned many times
in general orders for gallant conduct in the field, &c., &c. Well, I
thought, the sooner this state of affairs is changed the sooner Old
England will find better servants.
In this mood I went to report progress in Downing Street. His Grace
of Newcastle was kind and considerate as usual, and abused the Horse
Guards as heartily as the British Radical, and finally left me to
consult with Mr R----, his private secretary, as to what now remained
to be done to meet the views of the colonists concerning a recognition
of my services to them.
In the present state of affairs nothing suitable seemed to present
itself; a civil employment abroad--the only gift at the disposal of the
Colonial Office--did not meet my views; so, after a lengthened confab,
I returned to my _lares_ and _penates_, and awaited events.