RELIEF EXPEDITION FROM PLANET MARS
It had been decided by the members of the Pleiades Club to send out a
special train with attendants to gather in any and all stray members
found loitering, so to speak, at the different wayside stopping places
between the Earth and Mars and bring them all into the fold under the
shadow of the Telegraphers’ Tabernacle. There were a number who did not
respond to the roll call, and while not believing that anything could
be lost in God’s great economic universe, still it was thought only
right to gather everybody in and have all in their respective places.
Commodore R. R. Haines, who was a leader during his sojourn on Earth,
was appointed Captain of the expedition and a delegation selected
from every section of the country and Canada were invited to accompany
the craft to identify all telegraph people eligible for membership who
were idling their time away among the many stopping places on this long
journey.
It had been resolved to begin at the moon and work the way back, so
Luna was the first satellite to be visited and, lo and behold, Edward
C. Cockey came to greet the searching party.
Mr. Cockey was astonished to see his visitors and was not at all
loath to join them, the only regret he expressed being that now the
sentimental young ladies would have no one to watch over them from the
moon. He asked if the “Man in the Moon” was still talked about on Earth
and was assured that he was. Aaron Hilliker sang:
“I’m in love with the man in the moon,
And I’m going to marry him soon,
And behind some dark cloud, where there’s no one allowed,
I’ll make love to the man in the moon.”
“That settles it and I’m with you even if I must desert my kingdom
forever,” cried “Happy” Cockey, as he took passage in Electric No. 1,
bound for the outer regions.
The next stopping place will be “500,000-mile station,” said Captain
Haines, “and I believe we will find some notable personage there.”
It took but one hour for Electric No. 1 to make the journey to
Skippityvous, as the retreat was named by Tom Dushane, the only
Frenchman aboard.
“What do you know about that?” cried Ed. C. Keeler, “I’ll be jiggered
if there isn’t Col. L. D. Parker, Charles Thomas, Frank Kingsbury and
Arthur W. Copp sitting out there under a big oak tree playing a series
of delightful games.”
_Colonel L. D. Parker Remembers Friends_
Col. Parker expressed his satisfaction with his present surroundings,
but did not object to joining the merry party, as he remembered the
many happy days spent with his comrades on Earth. Charlie Thomas,
Arthur Copp and Frank Kingsbury were ready to say goodbye to
500,000-mile station when told of the doings on the planet Mars.
“We will stop off at Angel’s Camp and pick up Samuel J. Kelley, who was
with me in Los Angeles once upon a time,” remarked Captain Haines, as
they started out into space.
It did not take many hours to reach Angel’s Camp, where the whistles of
their aeroplane tooted “73” to Sam Kelley, which brought that brother
to the front, accompanied by Charles Stone.
The loiterers were taken aboard the car without much ceremony, neither
having to undergo that irksome task of shaving and changing his clothes
and both were delighted to be in such excellent company, with the
prospect of meeting still more friends.
At Salt Creek, a surprise met the voyagers when it was ascertained that
Frank P. Medina would be on hand to join the party. Medina had stopped
off at Salt Creek with his friend, Jack O’Brien, of San Francisco, and
had been having an enjoyable time, but was now ready to climb higher
toward the goal.
And so it kept up all day, the passengers regaling themselves by merry
songs and stories, in which Col. L. D. Parker took a leading part.
The Colonel was anxious to hear the latest news from Mother Earth
and affectionately inquired after Edward J. Nally, Edgar W. Collins,
A. B. Richards, A. A. Briggs, Thomas P. Wheeler, Harry A. Tuttle and
many others, all old co-workers, and he listened with much interest to
Arthur Copp’s history of each of these individuals.
Many more stops were made en route back to the planet Mars and many
noted telegraph men were gathered into the van, notably James Bell, of
Nevada; John Henderson, of Chicago; Ed. Sholes, Fred Benson, George and
Joe Harris, of St. Paul; Ruby Sheldon, of Cleveland; Charles Catlin,
Robert W. Chapman, George B. Simpson and Charles D. Burke, of Chicago.
Many songs were sung, everyone joining in singing “Where Is My
Wandering Boy Tonight?” and “Hail! the Conquering Hero Comes,” until
the long journey was at an end and they landed safely upon the planet
Mars.
A big program of entertainment had been prepared to welcome the
loiterers to their new resting place and a special bulletin of the
two days’ proceedings was prepared by Secretary Fred B. Moxon to be
transmitted to his terrestrial partner, who would then disseminate the
same through the columns of Telegraph and Telephone Age to all parts of
the earthly globe.
_Exodus to Jupiter Contemplated_
A movement was now on foot to have an exodus from Mars to Jupiter, and
this proposition was being much canvassed, particularly by the real old
timers on Mars.
General George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte, Lord Wellington, William
Shakespeare, Christopher Columbus, Americus Vespucius, Abraham Lincoln
and many other leaders while on Earth had manifested their disposition
in favor of making the trip, all realizing, however, that there was no
comeback.
“We understand,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson, “that we are in God’s
kingdom, and that we will be as safe up there in Jupiter as we are
right here on Mars, and the thought of God’s omnipresence should remove
doubt and fear from every heart.”
Much interest but no anxiety was felt for the members who were
determined to proceed, yet there were many who desired to await the
arrival of some particular dear one from Earth and those decided they
had “better bide-a-wee.”
Preparations for this hegira are now going on.