PENNSYLVANIA DAY ON PLANET MARS
In most every western city in the United States there exists a
Pennsylvanian Society to which any genteel person is eligible provided
he or she hails from the classic precincts of the Keystone State, the
members of the society evidently being of the opinion that “Once a
Pennsylvanian, always a gentleman.”
The love of state is strong and it is beautiful to observe the
consideration shown to the denizens of the Smoky City by the dwellers
of the City of Brotherly Love, and also to see how freely the former
citizens of the oil region will hob-nob with the residents of the more
favored Harrisburg, Stroudsburg and Erie.
Such is the condition of affairs on the terrestrial planet during life
and it is not to be wondered at that the feeling would exist after the
inhabitants of Pennsylvania had taken a long flight to the planet Mars.
It was the latter part of the month of June, 1917, that Jim McKinstry,
Dan Francis and George W. Baxter, all formerly of Erie; Mark Luce,
Ed. M. Boynton, recently from the oil section; Peter McKeever, from
Pittsburgh, and some of the former Philadelphia boys met and talked
over the proposition of having a good old-fashioned Fourth of July
celebration on the occasion of the next Independence Day.
A number of gentlemen dropped in on the meeting from Pennsylvania, many
of whom had acquired national fame and whose names are household words
still on earth.
Telegraphers’ Tabernacle, on the planet Mars, was to be the place where
the happy event was to take place and the usual bulletin written by a
wireless wand on heaven’s bright empyrean gave notice to all of the
coming event.
“I wonder how these Pennsylvanians would like to have a visit from
the Chicago delegation,” ejaculated Ed. Whitford, “we have quite a
formidable crowd to introduce.”
A cordial invitation was extended the Chicago delegation and any other
members of the craft who wanted to come, and preparations for the
entertainment were immediately begun.
Wednesday, July 4, 1917, arrived and the grounds around Telegraphers’
Tabernacle, on the planet Mars, were the scene of much merriment, the
badges of the Keystone State being in evidence everywhere.
It was not what the people on Mother Earth would term a “sane”
Fourth, as there was a big display of firecrackers and the like,
the wish having been expressed that the occasion would be one of
the “old-fashioned” kind. Conditions were changed from those on
the terrestrial planet, there being nothing of a combustible or
inflammatory character on Mars which might invite a conflagration.
A brass band was heard in the distance playing that old song, “We are
Coming, Father Abraham, Six Hundred Thousand More,” and immediately
automobiles containing the Chicago delegation began to arrive.
Among them were the following: Frank M. and Newt Crittendon, Wm. Foley,
N. L. Boydston, C. H. Kelly, J. E. Zeublin, A. C. Thomas, John Boughan,
P. A. Rowe, Fred Swain, W. W. Wells, J. C. Delong, A. J. Long, John D.
Walker, T. P. Dudley, F. S. Kent, S. O. Bracken, Wm. Wallace, Jr., Al
Baker, W. C. Ramsdell, Col. J. J. S. Wilson, W. Chapman, S. C. Mason,
J. C. Springer, M. C. Bristol, C. H. Summers, G. W. Fulton, Francis W.
Jones, H. C. Maynard, E. S. Patton, W. A. Leary, John A. Strong, Luke
Fisher, H. G. McGill, Billy McMillen, C. M. Roebuck, Henry Tatge, J.
DeWitt Congdon, Harry S. Converse, Frank W. Farley, Jeff Prentice, Earl
Rudd, C. H. Haskins, C. W. Gearhart and many others, including a large
sprinkling of ladies.
Good natured chaffing was carried on, Charlie Roebuck being asked what
was done with that undistributed $300,000,000 his firm had in reserve.
“Oh, we bought Liberty Bonds with that money,” came the immediate and
patriotic reply.
Among other pieces played by the bands were, “We’ll Rally Round the
Flag, Boys, We’ll Rally Once Again”; “Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are
Marching”; “Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean”; “America”; “Dixie Land,”
and such darky songs as “Darkies, Have You Seen the Massa, with the
Moustache on His Face, Walking Down the Road this Morning, Like He’s
Gwine to Leeb the Place?”
The Tabernacle was visited during the day by Generals Grant, Sherman,
McClellan, Sheridan, Franz Siegel, G. H. Thomas, Robert E. Lee,
Stonewall Jackson and many others, including all the Presidents back to
George Washington’s time.
Songs were sung, speeches made, music indulged in and a most enjoyable
and entertaining program was given.
The Philadelphia and Pittsburgh committees were unremitting in their
efforts and the Fourth of July, 1917, passed into history on the planet
Mars with pleasant memories and a strong feeling of meeting again and
often.