THE HOME WEDDING
TO a home wedding, invitations may be issued two weeks in advance.
Their style depends upon how formal the function is to be. If a quiet
family affair, the notes of invitation may be written in the first
person by the bride’s mother, as:
“My Dear Mary:
“Helen and Mr. Jones are to be married on Wednesday,
October the thirteenth, at four o’clock. The marriage
will be very quiet, with none but the family and most
intimate friends present. We hope that you will be of
that number. Helen sends her love and begs that you
will come to see her married.
“Faithfully yours,
”Joanna Smith.”
This kind of note is, of course, only permissible for the most informal
affairs. For the usual home marriage, cards, which read as follows, may
be issued:
“Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Brown request the pleasure of
Mr. and Mrs. Blank’s company at the marriage of their
daughter on the afternoon of Wednesday, the thirteenth
of October, at four o’clock, at One hundred and
forty-four Madison Square, Boston.”
Or the invitations may read:
“Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Brown request the pleasure of your
company at the marriage of their daughter, Helen Adams,
to Mr. Charles Sprague, on Tuesday afternoon, October
the thirteenth, at four o’clock.”
“R. s. v. p.” may be added if desired. Some people prefer to “request
the honor of,” etc., as more elegant.
[Sidenote: WEDDING CARDS]
Wedding-cards are enclosed in two envelopes, with the inner one bearing
the name only and left unsealed.
Sunday weddings are not good form, and Friday is, owing to the old
superstition, not popular. Probably more weddings take place on
Wednesday than on any other day.
* * * * *
At a home wedding, the bride often has but one girl attendant, and that
one is the maid of honor. The bride tells her what kind of dress she
wishes her to wear, and the bridegroom provides her bouquet for her. He
also sends the bride her bouquet.
[Sidenote: THE MATTER OF EXPENSES]
The wedding expenses of the bridegroom are the flowers for the bride
and her maid of honor or bridesmaids, the carriage in which he takes
his bride to the train, the carriages for best man and ushers, and
the clergyman’s fee. Besides this, he usually provides his ushers and
best man with a scarf-pin. In some cases he gives these attendants
also their gloves and ties; sometimes he does not. The bride’s family
pays all other expenses, including the decorating of the house, the
invitations and announcement cards and the caterer. If guests from a
distance are to be met at the train by carriages, the bride’s father
pays for these.
* * * * *
We will suppose that at the house wedding with which we have to do the
only attendants are the best man, two ushers and the maid of honor, and
that the ceremony is at high noon, or twelve o’clock.
The matter of lights at this function is largely a question of taste.
If the day be brilliantly clear, it seems a pity to shut the glorious
sunshine from the house. Therefore many brides decline to have the
curtains drawn at the noon hour. Many persons prefer the light from the
shaded lamps and candles, as being more becoming than the glare of day.
The wedding-breakfast is provided by a caterer always when such a thing
is possible. It may consist of iced or jellied bouillon, lobster
cutlets, chicken pâtés, a salad, with cakes, ices and coffee. This menu
can be added to or elaborated, as inclination may dictate. Sweetbread
pâtés may take the place of chicken pâtés. A frozen punch may take
the place of the ordinary ices, and, if one wish, a game course be
introduced. A heavy breakfast is, however, a tedious and unnecessary
affair.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE BRIDE’S DRESS]
The bride’s dress, if she be a young girl, must be white with a veil. A
train is advisable, as it adds elegance and dignity to the costume. The
waist is made with a high neck and long sleeves and white gloves are
worn. The veil is turned back from the face and reaches to the bottom
of the train where it is held in place by several pearl-headed pins. A
single fold of tulle hangs over the face, being separated from the main
veil. This is thrown back after the ceremony.
The bridegroom wears a black frock coat, gray trousers, white
waistcoat, white tie, light gray or pearl gloves and patent leather
shoes. His ushers dress in much the same fashion.
The maid of honor wears a gown of white or very light color, with a
slight train, and a picture hat, or not, as she wishes. When becoming,
an entire costume of pale pink, with a large hat trimmed with long
plumes of the same shade, is very striking. The bouquet carried by the
bridesmaid will harmonize with the color of her gown. Of course, the
bride’s bouquet will be white, and is usually composed of her favorite
blossoms.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE WEDDING RING]
The old fashion of ripping the third finger of the bride’s left-hand
glove, so that this finger might be slipped off for the adjusting of
the ring, is no longer in vogue. Instead of this the left-hand glove is
removed entirely at that part of the ceremony when the ring is placed
on the bride’s finger by the bridegroom.
* * * * *
At a house wedding the guests assemble near the hour named, leave
their wraps in the dressing-rooms, then wait in the drawing-room for
the wedding. The whole parlor-floor is decorated with natural flowers,
garlands of these being twisted about the balustrades, and making
a bower of the room in which the marriage is to take place. If one
can afford to do so, one may prefer to leave the matter of floral
decorations to an experienced florist, but any person with taste
can successfully decorate the rooms. A screen of green, dotted with
flowers, may stand at the end of the room in which the marriage is to
be solemnized, and an arch of flowers is thrown over this. Within this
arch the clergyman, the bridegroom and the best man may await the
arrival of the wedding guests, as the wedding march begins.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE WEDDING PROCESSION]
The portières, shutting off the drawing-room from the hall, are closed
when the time arrives for the bridal party to descend the stairs. As
they reach the hall the strains of the wedding march sound.
One word as to the orchestra. This should be stationed at such a
distance from the clergyman and bridal party that its strains will not
drown the words of the service. Since Fashion decrees that music should
be played during the service, it should be so soft and low that it
accentuates, rather than muffles the voices of the participants in the
ceremony. Loud strains detract from the impressiveness of the occasion,
and cause a feeling of irritation to the persons who would not miss a
single word of the solemn service.
Through the door at the opposite end of the room from that in which
the bridegroom stands, enters the wedding procession. The two ushers
come first, having a moment or two before marked off the aisle, by
stretching two lengths of white satin ribbon from end to end of the
room. Following the ushers walks the bridesmaid alone, and, after her,
on the arm of her father, comes the bride. At the improvised altar, or
at the cushions upon which the bridal couple are to kneel, the ushers
separate, one going to each side. The maid of honor moves to the left
of the bride, and the father lays the bride’s hand in the hand of the
bridegroom, then stands a little in the rear until he gives her away,
after which point in the ceremony he steps back among the guests, or
at one side, apart from the bridal group. The best man stands on the
bridegroom’s right. It is he who gives the ring to the clergyman, who
hands it to the bridegroom, who places it on the finger of the bride.
[Sidenote: RECEIVING CONGRATULATIONS]
When the ring is to be put on, the bride hands her bouquet to the
maid of honor, and draws off her left-hand glove, giving that also to
the maid of honor, who holds both until after the benediction. After
congratulating the newly-wedded pair, the clergyman gives them his
place, and they stand facing the company, to receive congratulations.
The bride’s mother should have been in the parlor to receive the guests
as they arrived, and during the ceremony stands at the end of the room
near the bridal party. She should be the first to congratulate the
happy couple, the bridegroom’s parents following those of the bride.
The maid of honor stands by the bride while she receives.
* * * * *
After congratulations have been extended, the wedding-breakfast is
served at little tables placed about the various rooms. The bride and
her party may, if desired, have a table to themselves, and upon this
may be a wedding-cake, to be cut by the bride. This is not essential
and has, of late years, been largely superseded by the squares of
wedding cake, packed in dainty boxes, one of which is handed to each
guest on leaving.
When the time comes for the bride to change her dress she slips quietly
from the room, accompanied by her maid of honor. The bridegroom goes to
an apartment assigned to him and his best man to put on his traveling
suit. Later, the maid of honor may come down and tell the bride’s
mother in an “aside” that she may now go up and bid her daughter
good-by in the privacy of her own room. Afterward the young husband and
wife descend the stairs together, say good-by in general to the guests
awaiting them in the lower hall, and drive off, generally, one regrets
to say, amid showers of rice.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: AS TO PRACTICAL JOKES]
I would say just here that the playing of practical jokes on a bridal
pair is a form of pleasantry that should be confined to classes whose
intellects have not been cultivated above the appreciation of such
coarse fun. To tie a white satin bow on the trunk of the so-called
happy pair so that all passengers may take note of them, is hardly
kind. But jesting compared to some of the deeds done. A few weeks
ago the papers gave an account of a groomsman who slipped handcuffs
upon the wrists of bride and bridegroom, then lost the key, and the
embarrassed couple had to wait for their train, chained together, until
a file could be procured, by which time their train had left. Such
forms of buffoonery may be diverting to the perpetrator; they certainly
are not amusing to the sufferers.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE QUIET WEDDING]
this is refined A girl who is to be married quietly with only relatives
or intimate friends present often says, in explaining this fact, “I’m
not going to have a _wedding_.” The expression is not well chosen, for
it inevitably suggests that the glitter of the ceremony is in her eyes
more important than the solemn words which _are_ the wedding.