HIS MAJESTY IS DEPOSED.
“STOP a minute!” cried Madame, as I was being led away. “We may as well
settle the Wallypug’s affair at the same time and get rid of them both
at once. Put the creature into the dock.”
His Majesty was hustled forward, looking very nervous and white, as he
stood trembling at the bar, while Madame regarded him fiercely.
“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” she demanded.
“Ye-e-s!” stammered his Majesty, though what the poor little fellow had
to be ashamed of was more than I could tell.
“I should think so, indeed,” commented the lady. “Now then, call the
first witness.”
The first witness was A. Fish, Esq., who coughed importantly as he
stepped up into the box with a jaunty air. “Let’s see, what’s your
name?” asked the Doctor-in-Law, with a supercilious stare. Now, this
was absurd, for, of course, he knew as well as I did what the Fish’s
name was; but as I heard him whisper to Madame, the judges in England
always pretend not to know _anything_, and he was doing the same.
“By dabe is A. Fish, you doe thadt well edough,” was the answer.
“Don’t be impertinent, or I shall commit you for contempt,” said the
Doctor-in-Law, severely. “Now then—ah—you are a reptile of some sort,
I believe, are you not?”
“Certainly dot!” was indignant reply.
“Oh! I thought you were. Er—what do you do for a living?”
“I’b a teacher of elocutiod add a lecturer,” said A. Fish, Esq.,
importantly.
“Oh! indeed. Teacher of elocution, are you? And how many pupils have
you, pray?”
“Well, ad presend I’ve odly wud,” replied A. Fish, Esq., “and that the
Wallypug.”
“Oh! the Wallypug’s a pupil of yours, is he? I suppose you find him
very stupid, don’t you?”
“Doe, I don’t!” said A. Fish, Esq., loyally. “He’s a very clever pupil,
ad he’s gettig od splendidly with his recitig.”
“Oh! is he, indeed; and what do you teach him, may I ask?”
“I’ve taught hib ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star,’ ad ‘Billy’s dead ad
gone to glory,’ ad several other things frob Shakespeare.”
“Shakespeare? hum—ha—Shakespeare? I seem to have heard the name
before. Who is he?”
“A great poet, born in England in 1564, m’lud,” explained one of the
Crocodiles.
“Really! He must be getting quite an old man by now,” said the
Doctor-in-Law, vaguely.
“He’s dead,” said A. Fish, Esq., solemnly.
“Dear me! poor fellow! what did he die of?”
“Don’t ask such a lot of silly questions,” interrupted the
Sister-in-Law, impatiently; “get on with the business. What has A. Fish
to say on behalf of the Wallypug? that is the question.”
“He’s gettig od very dicely with his recitig,” insisted A. Fish, Esq.
“He was repeatig a speech from Richard III. to us this bordig whed the
breakfast bell rang, ad that’s why we were late at table.”
“Oh! that’s the reason, is it?” said the Sister-in-Law. “Bah! I’ve no
patience with a man at his time of life repeating poetry. Positively
childish, I call it. What was the rubbish?” she demanded, turning to
the Wallypug.
“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,” began his Majesty, feebly.
“What!” shrieked the Sister-in-Law, starting up from her seat. “Say
that again!”
“‘A-a horse, a horse, my-my kingdom for a horse,’” stammered the
Wallypug, nervously.
“Traitor! Monster!” cried the Sister-in-Law furiously. “Hear him!”
she screamed. “He actually has the effrontery to tell us to our faces
that he is willing to sell the whole of this kingdom for a horse. Oh!
it is too much! the heartless creature! Oh-h!” and the lady sank back
and gasped hysterically. At this there was a terrible uproar in the
court—the animals stood up on the seats, frantically gesticulating
and crying: “Traitor!” “Down with the Wallypug!” “Off with his head!”
“Banish him!” “Send him to jail!” while above all could be heard the
Cockatoo screaming:
“I told you so. I told you so! Down with the Wallypug! Off with his
crown! Dance on his sceptre, and kick his orb round the town.”
The poor Wallypug threw himself on his knees and called out
imploringly, “It’s all a mistake,” and I tried in vain to make myself
heard above the uproar.
[Illustration: “TRAITOR! MONSTER!” “OFF WITH HIS HEAD!”]
The whole assembly seemed to have taken leave of their senses, and for
a few moments the utmost confusion prevailed. The creatures nearest to
the Wallypug seemed as though they would tear him to pieces in their
fury, and if it had not been for his jailers, the Crocodiles, I am
convinced they would have done him some injury. “This is outrageous,”
I managed to shout at last. “You are making all this disturbance for
nothing. What the Wallypug said was merely a quotation from one of
Shakespeare’s plays.”
“Oh, it’s all very well to try and blame it on to poor Shakespeare,
when you know very well he’s dead and can’t defend himself,” was
Madame’s reply. “That’s your artfulness. I’ve no doubt you are quite as
bad as the Wallypug himself, and probably put him up to it.”
“Yes. Down with him! Down with the hatless traitor!” screamed the
Cockatoo.
And despite our protests the Wallypug and myself were loaded with
chains and marched off by the Crocodiles, his Majesty having first
been robbed of his crown, sceptre, and orb, and other insignia of
Royalty by the Doctor-in-Law, who hadn’t a kind word to say for his
old sovereign, and who seemed positively to rejoice at his Majesty’s
downfall. I was highly indignant with his heartless ingratitude, but
could do positively nothing, while all of my protests were drowned in
the babel of sounds made by the furious creatures in the body of the
court.
[Illustration: THE WALLYPUG WAS LOADED WITH CHAINS AND MARCHED OFF BY
THE CROCODILES.]
After being taken from the dock I was marched off in one direction
and his Majesty in another, and the last view I had of the Wallypug
was that of the poor little fellow being limply dragged along by two
Crocodiles in the direction of the dungeons. I was conducted to the top
room of a tower, in an unfrequented part of the palace, and there left
to my reflections, without any one to speak to for the remainder of the
day.
Towards the evening I heard some shouting at the bottom of the tower,
and looking out as well as I could through the barred window, I saw
the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet of newspapers under one
arm—and heard him calling out, in a loud voice, “Special edition!
Arrest of the Wallypug! Shocking discovery! The Wallypug a traitor!
Sister-in-Law prostrate with excitement! The Hatless Man implicated!”
He was doing a roaring trade, as nearly everybody was buying papers
of him, and excited groups of animals were standing about eagerly
discussing what was evidently the cause of a tremendous sensation in
the kingdom of Why.
[Illustration: “I saw the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet
of newspapers under one arm, calling out in a loud voice, ‘Special
edition! Arrest of the Wallypug!’”—Page 82.
_Wallypugland._]