AN OPENING FOR WORK
'Whoever fears God, fears to sit at ease.'--_E. B. Browning._
'Hilda, mother wants to speak to you in her boudoir. We have just been
having a grand discussion about our dresses for the Walkers' affair,
and she wants to find out from you whether you are really going or not.'
I sighed as Nelly finished speaking.
I was picking some roses on the lawn, and Captain Gates had just
sauntered out of the smoking-room, cigar in mouth.
It was such a lovely morning that I was meditating spending it in my
favourite nook in the plantation, and for the time I had forgotten
everything unpleasant.
'You poor little creature!' said Nelly sympathetically, 'aren't you
tired of it? You have discussed the subject with father, given us a
long preach last night, and now there still remains mother! Let me
advise you, don't be too outspoken with her. Constance told her about
our dance last night, and mother seems to think that it must be pure
wilfulness on your part if you still refuse to go with us.'
'I wish I could be left alone,' I said a little wistfully; 'I shall
only make your mother angry.'
'Are you tired of showing your colours?' questioned Captain Gates.
'I hope not,' I said in a brighter tone, and then I went into the house.
Mrs. Forsyth was kind at first, but when she saw that I was really
determined she became vexed.
'It is placing me in a very awkward position, Hilda. What excuse can I
make for you? You have not even delicacy of health to account for your
absence. I am anxious to take you about with my own daughters, and
people will think I am purposely keeping you in the background. I do
wish you had given us some intimation of these strange views before you
came to live with us. It will be a continual annoyance to us.'
'Do you think I had better go back to my cousin's in London?' I asked.
'I really do not want to be such a trouble. If you would only let me
be happy in my own way, and stay quietly at home, I should be so
grateful, because you have all been so kind to me that I love to be
here.'
'I really don't know what we shall do with you,' Mrs. Forsyth replied,
in a milder tone. 'I believe General Forsyth has his own plans for
you, and if you will not fall in with them, it would be better for us
all that you should be away from us. However, of course, we cannot
force you to go with us next Wednesday, so I must try and explain it as
best I can to Lady Walker. I need hardly say that General Forsyth will
not be at all pleased about it.'
I left her feeling rather downhearted. Looking at it from their point
of view, I must be somewhat of a trial to them, and yet I knew I could
not act otherwise.
As I was stepping out into the garden again, deep in thought, I was
startled by the sudden appearance of little Roddy Walters from behind a
large tree close to the house. His hands were full of yellow marsh
marigolds and blue forget-me-nots.
'Roddy has brought them for you,' were his first words, as he caught
sight of me.
I had seen the little fellow several times since our first meeting, but
this was the first time that he had ventured to come up to the house to
see me, though whenever I passed through the village he would run after
me, and I had great difficulty in getting away from him.
'How lovely!' I exclaimed, as I took the bunch from his hot little
hands; 'but, Roddy, you ought to be at school. Have you run away?'
He laughed and nodded: 'Bess Brown did take me to school, but she
slapped me, and I runned away, and Jim tooked me down to the water, and
we picked these booful flowers, and I loves you, and Jim said I might
give 'em to you.'
'And who is Jim?'
'Jim is waiting for me, Jim is, he's sittin' on the gate; you come and
I'll show you him.'
He led me down the avenue as fast as his little legs could carry him,
and there on a side gate that led into some fields was a lad about
fifteen. He got down directly he saw me, and I noticed that he was a
cripple and had a crutch by his side.
'Are you Jim?' I asked.
'Yes, mum!'
'Don't you know that Roddy ought to be at school? It isn't right of
you to encourage him to play truant.'
Jim laughed. 'He's such a little 'un, he is.'
And then we drifted into talk. Jim told me he lived with his uncle,
who was a cobbler, but he himself had no occupation except that of
gathering wild flowers, and taking them into the market town near,
twice a week. I found to my surprise that he could not read.
'I was on my back for years when I might 'a had my schoolin', and when
I was able to get about with my crutch I was that 'shamed to go, being
such a big 'un, and such a dunce. Uncle Sam, he has a tried to teach
me, but he has a awful temper, and says I'm that slow I aggrewate him
into fits.'
'How I wish I could teach you!' I exclaimed; 'wouldn't you like to
learn?'
'Ay, shouldn't I! but I'm an awful dullard.'
We talked a little longer. I took a great fancy to this thin lanky
lad, with his great dark questioning eyes--he seemed lonely--and his
affection for little Roddy was very touching. That afternoon the old
rector happened to call while we were at tea, and I took the
opportunity of asking him about the boy; he seemed quite pleased at my
interest in him, and then of his own accord he broached the subject of
Sunday School.
'I should like to get one of you young ladies to have a class of the
little ones on Sunday. I am an old man myself, and don't feel up to
it. I sometimes wish I had a wife or daughter to help me about these
things. Mrs. Forsyth, what do you think about it?'
'I have no doubt Miss Thorn would be delighted to do what you wish.
She has already expressed a desire, I believe, to do something of the
sort.'
Mrs. Forsyth's tone was a little stiff, but I was so glad that she made
no objection to the suggestion that I felt quite grateful to her. And
before the rector left us he had settled that I should start a class
the following Sunday afternoon from three to four in the vestry of the
little church.
'I will go round to my parishioners and let them know. Of course you
will be prepared for very little ones, as the bigger ones attend a
school a little distance off. And as for Jim Carter, if you can give
him a reading lesson now and then in the week, I shall be delighted.'
When the rector had gone, I ran up to my room, and just knelt down and
thanked God for the work He had already given me. Only that morning I
had been praying for something to do, and had anticipated great
difficulties in the way.
Yet the opening had come, and everything seemed made easy for me. And
for the rest of the day this fresh interest made me forget my troubles,
until I was reminded of them in the drawing-room that evening.
We were all there, General Forsyth reading the evening paper, Mrs.
Forsyth with her work, and the girls round the piano, when suddenly
Kenneth said, turning to me,--
'What kind of a mood are you in to-night? A musical one? Because if
so, please favour us with a repetition of last night's performance.'
'What? Another dance?' said Nelly laughing. 'She is never going to
dance again, she says!'
'Wait and see,' and Kenneth's tone was a little scornful; 'but it was
the violin I was alluding to.'
Then General Forsyth looked up.
'I hope you have thought better about going to Lady Walker's, Hilda. I
hear you were nothing loth to turn this room into chaos last night in
order to enjoy a dance, so I conclude you have overcome your foolish
scruples about it.'
'I am sorry, General Forsyth,' I said, trying to speak bravely, 'but I
told Mrs. Forsyth this morning that I cannot go.'
'You have your father's obstinacy, I see;' and throwing down his paper
angrily, General Forsyth got up and left the room.
'Never saw the general lose his temper before,' murmured Mr. Stroud to
Constance; and she replied, in tones loud enough for me to hear, 'She
is a provoking little thing; I believe it is nothing but cant with her.
I hate those kind of people.'
Captain Gates was sitting close to me, and his eyes met mine as we
caught the sneering words. He did not say anything, but got up from
his seat and fetched my violin, which he put into my hands saying,--
'Give us another treat, for you make it speak!'
I shook my head, then, as he begged me so hard, I felt I ought not to
refuse, but I could not play as I had done the night before, and when I
had finished he said,--
'Thank you, but that is rather different to last night.'
'It is rather too classical, perhaps. I will try a little lullaby.
It's German, and I think you may like it.'
'Hilda,' said Mrs. Forsyth when I had finished, 'you ought to cultivate
your gift for music, for you have got a good touch. I am anxious for
Violet to play well, but her violin lessons with Miss Graham are a
source of constant trouble to me. I wish you could give her a few
hints about it. Miss Graham is a good musician, but she certainly does
not handle the instrument as you do.'
'I shall be very glad to practise with Violet a little,' I said, 'if
Miss Graham does not object.'
Then Nelly called to me from the balcony outside the windows, and I
joined her with a sense of relief at getting out into the still, cool
evening air.
Captain Gates joined us, and leant against one of the stone pillars
enjoying a cigar.
We talked and laughed for some time, then as Nelly moved off a little
farther to speak to Hugh, who had also come out, Captain Gates turned
to me and said, 'You are having rather a hot time of it just now, Miss
Thorn, I feel afraid. Why are you so determined in your views? I feel
sorry for you, because you have every one against you.'
His tone was sympathetic.
'I shall get accustomed to that, I suppose,' I said; but as I looked
away to the still hills in the distance, my eyes suddenly filled with
tears, and I realized how lonely my position was.
'I can't think why you hold out; you are planning a dreary life for
yourself, don't you think so?'
'No,' I said, hastily brushing away my tears, and smiling at his gloomy
tone; 'I shall not be a bit dreary; how could I be!'
'I wish you would explain a few things to me, and then perhaps I should
understand better. Do you consider us all dreadful sinners here?'
'I judge no one, Captain Gates. It seems to me you must have something
to fill your life and interest and occupy you, and if you haven't got
what I have, you must have worldly amusements.'
'And what have you got that we have not?'
I was silent for a moment, then I said,--
'Do you ever read your Bible, Captain Gates?'
'Not often.'
'You will find a great deal about the Christian's portion there, if you
look; but I suppose the summing up of it all is just Christ Himself.
If we have Him we want nothing more.'
There was another silence.
At length he said meditatively, 'I should like to be enlightened. Will
you come for a row on the river to-morrow, and let us thrash the
subject out?'
'I don't know,' I said hesitatingly; 'I will see what plans the others
have.' And then I stepped back into the drawing-room, leaving him
alone there, and wondering if he was really in earnest, or only drawing
me out for his amusement.
When I went forward to wish General Forsyth 'good-night' that evening,
he refused to take my hand, saying coldly, 'I shall have nothing to say
to you for the present; your conduct is highly displeasing to me.'
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, as he did not lower his voice, and
all in the room heard his words; then I left the room slowly, like a
naughty child being sent off to bed in disgrace. Nelly came rushing
upstairs after me, and linked her arm in mine.
'Never mind, Hilda. You see father is never accustomed to have any one
oppose him, and he cannot understand you. You are a bold little thing,
to say what you do to him. Now tell me what conspiracy was going on
between you and Captain Gates this evening? He is asking mother if we
can have a picnic on the river to-morrow. Constance and Mr. Stroud are
delighted, and mother has given her consent. Mother says she won't
start with us, but may join us later in the day. He said we had better
have three boats; but I wonder how we are going to pair off. I am not
always going to be coupled with Kenneth, he and I are sure to fight.
And I know Captain Gates will have you with him if he can manage it; he
follows you about everywhere. Constance and Mr. Stroud are
inseparable, and no one takes any notice of me!'
'Oh, Nelly, how you run on!' I exclaimed, half laughing, half vexed.
'I dare say I shall not go with you.'
'But you must; it will be great fun. Well, good night; I must be
going.'