At a very early period, families who lived in a friendly manner, fell
upon a method of securing their children to each other by what is called
in the sacred writings Betrothing. This was agreeing on a price to be
paid for the bride, the time when it should be paid, and when she should
be delivered into the hands of her husband.
There were, according to the Talmudists, three ways of betrothing. The
first by a written contract. The second, by a verbal agreement,
accompanied with a piece of money. And the third, by the parties coming
together, and living as husband and wife; which might as properly be
called marriage as betrothing.
The written contract was in the following manner--"On such a day, month,
year, A the son of B, has said to D the daughter of E, be thou my spouse
according to the law of Moses and of the Israelites; and I give thee as
a dowry the sum of two hundred suzims, as it is ordered by our law. And
the said D hath promised to be his spouse upon the conditions aforesaid,
which the said A doth promise to perform on the day of marriage. And to
this the said A doth hereby bind himself and all that he hath, to the
very cloak upon his back; engages himself to love, honor, feed, clothe,
and protect her, and to perform all that is generally implied in
contracts of marriage in favor of the Israelitish wives."
The verbal agreement was made in the presence of a sufficient number of
witnesses, by the man saying to the women, "Take this money as a pledge
that at such a time I will take thee to be my wife." A woman who was
thus betrothed or bargained for, was almost in every respect by the law
considered as already married.
Before the legislation of Moses, "marriages among the Jews," say the
Rabbies, "were agreed on by the parents and relations of both sides.
When this was done, the bridegroom was introduced to his bride. Presents
were mutually exchanged, the contract signed before witnesses, and the
bride, having remained sometime with her relations, was sent away to the
habitation of her husband, in the night, with singing, dancing, and the
sound of musical instruments."
By the institution of Moses, the Rabbies tell us the contract of
marriage was read in the presence of, and signed by, at least ten
witnesses, who were free, and of age. The bride, who had taken care to
bathe herself the night before, appeared in all her splendor, but
veiled, in imitation of Rebecca, who veiled herself when she came in
sight of Isaac. She was then given to the bridegroom by her parents, in
words to this purpose: "Take her according to the law of Moses." And he
received her, by saying, "I take her according to that law." Some
blessings were then pronounced on the young couple, both by the parents
and the rest of the company.
The blessings or prayers generally run in this style: "Blessed art thou,
O Lord of heaven, and earth, who has created man in thine own likeness,
and hast appointed woman to be his partner and companion! Blessed art
thou, who fillest Zion with joy for the multitude of her children!
Blessed art thou who sendest gladness to the bridegroom and his bride;
who hast ordained for them, love, joy, tenderness, peace and mutual
affection. Be pleased to bless not only this couple, but Judah and
Jerusalem, with songs of joy, and praise for the joy that thou givest
them, by the multitudes of their sons and of their daughters."
After the virgins had sung a marriage song, the company partook of a
repast, the most magnificent the parties could afford; after which they
began a dance, the men round the bridegroom, the women round the bride.
They pretended that this dance was of divine institution and an
essential part of the ceremony. The bride was then carried to the
nuptial bed, and the bridegroom left with her. The company again
returned to their feasting and rejoicing; and the Rabbies inform us,
that this feasting, when the bride, was a widow, lasted only three days,
but seven if she was a virgin.
At the birth of a son, the father planted a cedar; and at that of a
daughter, he planted a pine. Of these trees the nuptial bed was
constructed, when the parties, at whose birth they were planted, entered
into the married state.
The Assyrians had a court, or tribunal whose only business was to
dispose of young women in marriage, and see the laws of that union
properly executed. What these laws were, or how the execution of them
was enforced, are circumstances that have not been handed down to us.
But the erecting a court solely for the purpose of taking cognizance of
them, suggests an idea that they were many and various.
Among the Greeks, the multiplicity of male and female deities who were
concerned in the affairs of love, made the invocations and sacrifices on
a matrimonial occasion a very tedious affair. Fortunate omens gave great
joy, and the most fortunate of all others was a pair of turtles seen in
the air, as those birds were reckoned the truest emblems of conjugal
love and fidelity. If, however, one of them was seen alone it infallibly
denoted separation, and all the ills attending an unhappy marriage.
On the wedding day, the bride and bridegroom were richly dressed, and
adorned with garlands of herbs and flowers. The bride was conducted in
the evening to the house of her husband in a chariot, seated between her
husband and one of his relations. When she alighted from the chariot the
axle-tree of it was burnt to show that there was no method for her to
return back. As soon as the young couple entered the house, figs and
other fruits were thrown upon their heads to denote plenty; and a
sumptuous entertainment was ready for them to partake of, to which all
the relations on both sides were invited.
The bride was lighted to bed by a number of torches, according to her
quality; and the company returned in the morning to salute the new
married couple, and to sing _epithalamia_ at the door of their
bed-chamber.
Epithalamia were marriage songs, anciently sung in praise of the bride
or bridegroom, wishing them happiness, prosperity and a numerous issue.
Among the Romans there were three different kinds of marriage. The
ceremony of the first consisted in the young couple eating a cake
together made only of wheat, salt and water. The second kind was
celebrated by the parties solemnly pledging their faith to each other,
by giving and receiving a piece of money. This was the most common way
of marrying among the Romans. It continued in use, even after they
became Christians. When writings were introduced to testify that a man
and a woman had become husband and wife, and also, that the husband had
settled a dower upon his bride, these writings were called _Tabulae
Dotales_ (dowry tables;) and hence, perhaps the words in our marriage
ceremony, "I thee endow."
The third kind of marriage was, when a man and woman, having cohabited
for some time and had children, found it expedient to continue together.
In this case, if they made up the matter between themselves, it became
a valid marriage, and the children were considered as legitimate.
Something similar to this is the present custom in Scotland. There, if a
man live with, and have children by a woman, though he do not marry her
till he be upon his death-bed, all the children are thereby legitimated
and become entitled to the honors and estates of their father. The case
is the same in Holland and some parts of Germany; with this difference
only, that all the children to be legitimated must appear with the
father and mother in church at the ceremony of their marriage.