Encouraged and animated by this success, I soon formed the design of
engaging in another publication, and set myself to choose a subject.
It was poverty, not ambition, or vanity, that first induced me to
become an author, or rather a compiler. But I now formed the flattering
idea, that I might not only help myself, but benefit the public. With
this view, I engaged in writing a Summary History of New England. I
selected this subject, rather for public utility, than for my own
gratification. My object was to render my compilation useful to those
in early life, who had not time or opportunity to peruse the large
mass of materials, which, previously to my compilation, lay scattered
in many publications. I knew the work would require much reading upon
dry subjects, such as ancient news prints, state papers, &c. But I
wrote for a bare subsistence, and never wished to gain anything from
the public which I had not at least earned by laborious investigation.
I also considered, that attention to such an antipoetical subject
would have a tendency to keep my mind in a more healthy state, than
the perusal of works which are calculated to excite the feelings. I
therefore resolved to fix my attention by investigating simple facts,
and by relinquishing to a great extent the reading works of taste and
imagination.
When I compiled this work, there was not any history of New England
extant, except Mather’s Magnalia, and Neale’s History; and these
extended only to an early period in the annals of our country. If
there had been only one work, which reached to the acceptance of the
Federal constitution, my task had been far less laborious. There was
no authentic account of Rhode Island, except that of Callender’s. This
induced me to spend some time in Providence, in order to examine the
Records in the Secretary’s office. The perusal of old manuscripts,
which were damaged by time, was painful to my eyes; but as they
were naturally strong, I did not for some time perceive the injury I
suffered from the task.
After I returned from Providence, I attended to my compilation with
unremitting diligence, and hoped not only to obtain a temporary
support, but to make a small provision for future subsistence.
Stimulated by these sanguine views, I wrote early and late during one
winter, and expected to put my work to the press the ensuing spring.
But how vain were all these pleasing anticipations! A new misfortune
arrested my progress, and made me feel my entire dependence upon divine
Providence. I found my sight suddenly fail to that degree, that I was
obliged to lay aside reading, writing, and every employment which
required the use of my eyes. In this distressed situation, I consulted
a number of physicians; and their prescriptions rather increased, than
diminished my complaints. The gloomy apprehension of being totally
deprived of my sight was distressing beyond description. I not only
anticipated the misfortune of being obliged forever to relinquish
those literary pursuits which had constituted so much of my enjoyment
during life, and was at this time my only resource for a subsistence,
but as I had from my earliest years been an enthusiastic admirer of the
beauties of nature, I felt the most painful sensation in reflecting
that the time might arrive, when
‘With the year
Seasons return, but not to me return
Day, or the sweet approach of eve or morn,
Or sight of vernal bloom, or summer rose.’
At length, by the advice of a respectable friend, I applied to Dr
Jeffries; and by assiduously following his prescriptions for about
two years, I partially recovered my sight. For the encouragement of
those who are troubled with similar complaints, I would mention, that
when I first consulted the doctor, he had not any expectation my eyes
would recover so as to enable me to make the use of them I have since
done. But by applying laudanum and sea water several times in the
course of the day, for two years, I recovered so far as to resume my
studies; and by employing an amanuensis to assist me in transcribing
my manuscript, I was enabled to print the work in 1799. Previously to
putting the copy to the press, I consulted all the living authors,
and showed them the use I had made of their works in my compilation,
and they did not make any objection. As my eyes were still weak, I
could not bestow the same attention in condensing the last part of my
History, as the first; and consequently the History of the American
Revolution was much more prolix than I originally intended. In giving
an account of the war, my ignorance of military terms rendered it
necessary to transcribe more from Dr Ramsay’s History, than I had
done in any other part of the work. I therefore wrote an apology to
the doctor, and had the satisfaction of receiving in return a very
interesting letter from Mrs Ramsay, expressing her approbation of my
work, and inclosing a bill of ten dollars. Before my eyes failed, I had
sent out a subscription paper; but afterward, the idea that I never
should be able to complete the compilation, induced me to drop it; and
I was obliged to publish the work almost entirely at my own expense.
The printers were in low circumstances, and required payment before I
could dispose of the books. I was therefore obliged to borrow a sum of
money to defray the expenses of the work, which, as it was printed on
very good paper, were large, and I derived but little profit from my
labor.
My next publication was the third edition of my View of Religions, to
which I made the addition of a hundred pages. The Rev. Mr Freeman,
who continued his kind attentions, made the bargain for me with the
printer, by which I was entitled to receive five hundred dollars in
yearly payments, for an edition of two thousand copies. This relieved
me from the embarrassments in which I was involved by printing my
History of New England at my own expense. As my eyes still continued
too weak to engage in any new laborious work, I determined to wait till
a large part of my History of New England was sold; and then, if my
life continued, to abridge it for the use of schools.
In the meantime, however, I set about writing a concise View of the
Christian Religion, selected from the writings of eminent laymen. I
wrote with difficulty, as my eyes were still very weak; but I wished
to exert myself as much as possible to be useful, and to gain a
subsistence. Though attention to religious controversy had led me to
feel undecided on some disputed points, of which perhaps Christians
of equal piety form different opinions, my conviction of the truth of
divine revelation, instead of being weakened by all my researches, was
strengthened and confirmed; and I wished to make a public declaration
of my sentiments on this important subject. I found it difficult to
procure proper materials for the work, as I was utterly unable to
purchase books. A considerable part of this compilation, as well as the
additions to the third edition of my View of Religions, was written
in booksellers’ shops. I went to make visits in Boston, in order to
consult books in this way, which it was impossible for me to buy, or
borrow. I desire, however, to recognise with gratitude the attention
of my kind father, who took pains that I should have the benefit of
all books which he could procure, and assisted me greatly in disposing
of my works. When I had completed my compilation, I found the printers
and booksellers unwilling to purchase the copy, because much had been
written on the subject, and these publications were unsaleable. At
length, in 1804, I agreed with a printer to execute the work, upon the
small consideration of receiving only one hundred dollars in books.
The tenor of my life at this time was very monotonous. It was
enlivened, however, by gleams of happiness, from the society of a few
friends, and the pleasure I derived from literary pursuits; and, by
my convictions of the truth of that religion, to the examination of
which I had devoted so much of my time. My eyes still continued very
weak, and I wrote under the apprehension of being reduced to a state
that would preclude all application to study. A considerable part of
my History of New England being now disposed of, my only resource
appeared to be to abridge that work for the use of schools. The profit
I hoped to derive from this compilation seemed to me to constitute all
I had to depend upon in future, if my life should be spared. While I
entertained these hopes, in which I was made sanguine by my knowledge
of the success with which books for schools had been printed, can it
be a subject of blame, or reproach, to a person in my situation, that
I felt extremely grieved, and hurt, when I found my design anticipated
by a reverend gentleman, whose calling, and indefatigable industry, are
highly respectable? The difference between us was left to referees, who
sustained a high reputation for ability, and sound judgment, extensive
information, and moral excellence. I was satisfied with their decision.
But I was reduced to the painful task of writing on the subject; for,
though I took this measure with extreme reluctance, my opponent left me
no other alternative. I sincerely hope the painful affair may never be
recalled to his prejudice.