A morning visit should be paid between the hours of two and four p.m.,
in winter, and two and five in summer. By observing this rule
you avoid intruding before the luncheon is removed, and leave in
sufficient time to allow the lady of the house an hour or two of
leisure for her dinner toilette.
Be careful always to avoid luncheon hours when you pay morning
visits. Some ladies dine with their children at half-past one, and are
consequently unprepared for the early reception of visitors. When you
have once ascertained this to be the case, be careful never again to
intrude at the same hour.
A good memory for these trifles is one of the hall-marks of good
breeding.
Visits of ceremony should be short. If even the conversation
should have become animated, beware of letting your call exceed
half-an-hour's length. It is always better to let your friends regret
than desire your withdrawal.
On returning visits of ceremony you may, without impoliteness, leave
your card at the door without going in. Do not fail, however, to
inquire if the family be well.
Should there be daughters or sisters residing with the lady upon whom
you call, you may turn down a corner of your card, to signify that the
visit is paid to all. It is in better taste, however, to leave cards
for each.
Unless when returning thanks for "kind inquiries," or announcing your
arrival in, or departure from, town, it is not considered respectful
to send round cards by a servant.
Leave-taking cards have P.P.C. _(pour prendre congé)_ written in the
corner. Some use P.D.A. _(pour dire adieu)_.
It is not the fashion on the Continent for gentlemen to affix
_Monsieur_ to their cards, _Jules Achard_, or _Paolo Beni_, looks more
simple and elegant than if preceded by _Monsieur_, or _Monsieur le
Comte_. Some English gentlemen have adopted this good custom, and it
would be well if it became general.
Autographic facsimiles for visiting cards are affectations in any
persons but those who are personally remarkable for talent and whose
autographs, or facsimiles of them, would be prized as curiosities. A
card bearing the autographic signature of Charles Dickens or George
Cruikshank, though only a lithographic facsimile, would have a certain
interest; whereas the signature of John Smith would be not only
valueless, but would make the owner ridiculous.
The visiting cards of gentlemen are half the size of those used by
ladies.
Visits of condolence are paid within the week after the event which
occasions them. Personal visits of this kind are made by relations
and very intimate friends only. Acquaintances should leave cards with
narrow mourning borders.
On the first occasion when you are received by the family after the
death of one of its members, it is etiquette to wear slight mourning.
When a gentleman makes a morning call, he should never leave his hat
or riding-whip in the hall, but should take both into the room. To do
otherwise would be to make himself too much at home. The hat, however,
must never be laid on a table, piano, or any article of furniture; it
should be held gracefully in the hand. If you are compelled to lay it
aside, put it on the floor.
Umbrellas should invariably be left in the hall.
Never take favourite dogs into a drawing-room when you make a morning
call. Their feet may be dusty, or they may bark at the sight of
strangers, or, being of too friendly a disposition, may take the
liberty of lying on a lady's gown, or jumping on the sofas and easy
chairs. Where your friend has a favourite cat already established
before the fire, a battle may ensue, and one or other of the pets be
seriously hurt. Besides, many persons have a constitutional
antipathy to dogs, and others never allow their own to be seen in the
sitting-rooms. For all or any of these reasons, a visitor has no
right to inflict upon his friend the society of his dog as well as of
himself.
If, when you call upon a lady, you meet a lady visitor in her
drawing-room, you should rise when that lady takes her leave, and
escort her to her carriage, taking care, however, to return again to
the drawing-room, though it be only for a few minutes, before taking
your own leave. Not to do this would give you the appearance of
accompanying the lady visitor; or might, at all events, look as if the
society of your hostess were insufficient to entertain you when her
friend had departed.
If other visitors are announced, and you have already remained as long
as courtesy requires, wait till they are seated, and then rise from
your chair, take leave of your hostess, and bow politely to the newly
arrived guests. You will, perhaps, be urged to remain, but, having
once risen, it is always best to go. There is always a certain air
of _gaucherie_ in resuming your seat and repeating the ceremony of
leave-taking.
If you have occasion to look at your watch during a call, ask
permission to do so, and apologise for it on the plea of other
appointments.
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