A morning visit should be paid between the hours of two and four p.m.,
in winter, and two and five in summer. By observing this rule
you avoid intruding before the luncheon is removed, and leave in
sufficient time to allow the lady of the house an hour or two of
leisure for her dinner toilette.
Be careful always to avoid luncheon hours when you pay morning
visits. Some ladies dine with their children at half-past one, and are
consequently unprepared for the early reception of visitors. When you
have once ascertained this to be the case, be careful never again to
intrude at the same hour.
A good memory for these trifles is one of the hall-marks of good
breeding.
Visits of ceremony should be short. If even the conversation
should have become animated, beware of letting your call exceed
half-an-hour's length. It is always better to let your friends regret
than desire your withdrawal.
On returning visits of ceremony you may, without impoliteness, leave
your card at the door without going in. Do not fail, however, to
inquire if the family be well.
Should there be daughters or sisters residing with the lady upon whom
you call, you may turn down a corner of your card, to signify that the
visit is paid to all. It is in better taste, however, to leave cards
for each.
Unless when returning thanks for "kind inquiries," or announcing your
arrival in, or departure from, town, it is not considered respectful
to send round cards by a servant.
Leave-taking cards have P.P.C. (_pour prendre congé_) written in the
corner. Some use P.D.A. (_pour dire adieu_).
It is not the fashion on the Continent for unmarried ladies to affix
any equivalent to the English "Miss" to their visiting cards. _Emilie
Dubois_, or _Kätchen Clauss_, is thought more simple and elegant than
if preceded by _Mademoiselle_ or _Fraülein_. Some English girls have
of late adopted this good custom, and it would be well if it became
general.
Autographic facsimiles for visiting cards are affectations in any
persons but those who are personally remarkable for talent, and whose
autographs, or facsimiles of them, would be prized as curiosities.
A card bearing the autographic signature of Agnes Strickland or Mary
Somerville, though only a lithographic facsimile, would have a certain
interest; whereas the signature of Jane Smith would be not only
valueless; but would make the owner ridiculous.
Visits of condolence are paid within the week after the event which
occasions them. Personal visits of this kind are made by relations
and very intimate friends only. Acquaintances should leave cards with
narrow mourning borders.
On the first occasion when you are received by the family after the
death of one of its members, it is etiquette to wear slight mourning.
Umbrellas should invariably be left in the hall.
Never take favourite dogs into a drawing-room when you make a morning
call. Their feet may be dusty, or they may bark at the sight of
strangers, or, being of too friendly a disposition, may take the
liberty of lying on a lady's gown, or jumping on the sofas and easy
chairs. Where your friend has a favourite cat already established
before the fire, a battle may ensue, and one or other of the pets be
seriously hurt. Besides, many persons have a constitutional
antipathy to dogs, and others never allow their own to be seen in the
sitting-rooms. For all or any of these reasons, a visitor has no
right to inflict upon her friend the society of her dog as well as of
herself. Neither is it well for a mother to take young children with
her when she pays morning visits; their presence, unless they are
unusually well trained, can only be productive of anxiety to both
yourself and your hostess. She, while striving to amuse them, or to
appear interested in them, is secretly anxious for the fate of
her album, or the ornaments on her _étagére_; while the mother is
trembling lest her children should say or do something objectionable.
If other visitors are announced, and you have already remained as long
as courtesy requires, wait till they are seated, and then rise from
your chair, take leave of your hostess, and bow politely to the newly
arrived guests. You will, perhaps, be urged to remain, but, having
once risen, it is best to go. There is always a certain air of
_gaucherie_ in resuming your seat and repeating the ceremony of
leave-taking.
If you have occasion to look at your watch during a call, ask
permission to do so, and apologise for it on the plea of other
appointments.
In receiving morning visitors, it is not necessary that the lady
should lay aside the employment in which she may be engaged,
particularly if it consists of light or ornamental needle-work.
Politeness, however, requires that music, drawing, or any occupation
which would completely engross the attention, be at once abandoned.
You need not advance to receive visitors when announced, unless
they are persons to whom you are desirous of testifying particular
attention. It is sufficient if a lady rises to receive her visitors,
moves forward a single step to shake hands with them, and remains
standing till they are seated.
When your visitors rise to take leave you should rise also, and remain
standing till they have quite left the room. Do not accompany them to
the door, but be careful to ring in good time, that the servant may be
ready in the hall to let them out.
A lady should dress well, but not too richly, when she pays a morning
visit. If she has a carriage at command, she may dress more elegantly
than if she were on foot. The question of morning and afternoon dress
will be found fully treated in Section VII.
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