and 1s. 24th., 10 s. 6d., 2d., 1s. 6d. 25th, one pound of butter, 2s.,
1s., 1s. There was also sent 14s., and in the paper was written: "The
history of this money is: A lady was going to purchase a dress. The
enclosed sum was the difference between the fashionable one, which took
her fancy, and one less fashionable. So she thought, the orphans should
profit by this sacrifice of her fancy." May 27th, there was left at my
house a sovereign, and in the paper was written: 1 Thess. v. 25." [Pause
with me a few moments, dear reader, before going on with the account. In
preparing the third edition for the press, I have been struck with the
very many cases in which individuals, who are spoken of in this narrative,
are no more in the land of the living. So it is with the two donors of the
last mentioned sums. The dear sister who would not indulge her fancy in
having a more fashionable dress, but who would rather give the fourteen
shillings, which thus could be saved, to the orphans, has been with her
Lord for more than two years. Will she regret not having indulged her
fancy in that instance? Will she now suffer loss on account of it? Surely
not!--The dear brother who gave the sovereign, was a gracious devoted
clergyman of the City of Bristol. He had written in the paper in which the
sovereign was enclosed, "1 Thess. v. 25." ("Brethren, pray for us.") This
dear man of God does now no longer need our prayers. He entered into his
rest several years ago. Yet a little while, dear believing reader, and, if
the coming of the Lord prevent not, we too shall fall asleep in Jesus.
Therefore, let us work, "while it is day: the night cometh, when no man
can work." And, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might:
for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave,
whither thou goest."--But how would it be with you, dear reader, if you
are unprepared, and should be taken out of the world? Let me beseech you
to seek the Lord while He may be found. Jesus died to save sinners. He
shed His blood. He fulfilled the law of God, and died the JUST for the
UNJUST: and whosoever depends for salvation upon His perfect obedience,
and upon His sufferings and death, shall be saved; for God has said it.]
May 28th, A fender and two coal scuttles. 29th, 5l. 30th, 4s. Also 2s.
6d., with two gowns and a tippet. The brother who left a sovereign with "1
Thess. v. 25," gave today 10s. more; 2s. 4d. June 1st, from a few sisters
in Dublin, nine pocket handkerchiefs, 19 1/2 yards of stuff, and forty-two
yards of print. 4th, 5s. 6d., eighteen little books. 5th, 6d., 4d., 4d.,
4d. 6th, 4s. 7th, 5s. 1d., 2l. 2s. 6d. 8th, 4d., 1s., 1s., 3s. 9th, six
pairs of gentlemen's trousers, two coats, one waistcoat, five pairs of
socks, two gowns--all worn. 10th, 1l., also from a friend in Ireland 1l.
12th, S. S. 2s. 6d. 13th, 4s., 5l. 14th, 1s. 1d., 1s., 2s. 6d., 6d., 1s.,
2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 3s. 3d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d. 15th, a brother at Plymouth
sent 25l., 20l. of which had been previously promised. 18th, 1l., 1d., 6
1/4 pounds of bacon, a form, a chopping knife. 19th, 1l. 1s., 10s.; 12s.
by sale of ornaments. 20th, 4s. Also from Teignmouth, 5s., 5s., 2s. 6d.,
2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 3l., 10s., 2s. 6d., 1s. 1d., 5s., together with
a gown, a boy's pinafore, a pair of socks, coloured cotton for three
children's frocks, two babies' bed gowns, and five babies' night caps.
21st, 5l. 10s., 6d., 4d., 2d., 4d., 2d., 6d., 6d., twenty pounds of bacon
and ten pounds of cheese. 22d, box in the Orphan-House, 2s. 4d. 24th, 2s.
6d., 3s. 8 1/2d. 27th, 4s. 28th, 2s. 6d., 4s., 4d., 6d., 10s., 6s. 6d.
29th, six straw bonnets. 30th, 5s., 2l. July 4th, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 4s.
There was also sent from "two orphans" 48l., 1s. 1d., 10s., 8s. 6d., 2s.
6d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 4d. 5th, 1s., 1s. 2d., 3d., 4s., 4d.,
1s. 6th, six new cane chairs. 7th, 2l., 12s., 10s., 2s. 8th, 1s., 2s. 6d.,
3s. 10th, 10s., 10s., 1l., 1l. 11th, 8s., 13s. 12th, 13s. 2d. 13th, 12s.
14th, there were sent six chemises, which had been promised on April 14th.
Also fourteen pin cushions. 15th, six night caps and 2 petticoats. 20th,
10s., 5s., 1l., 6d., 2d., 6d., 6d., 4d., 6d., 4d., 2d., 4d. 24th, 1l.
25th, 8s., S. S. 5s. Also 25 3/4 yards of print, 12 little shawls and 16
yards of flannel. 26th, box in the Orphan-House 5s. 9d., 4d. 27th, two
pairs of shoes. 28th, 3s. 8 1/2d. 29th, 2s. 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. August
1st, 4s., 1l. 10., two chemises, three night caps, and ten pocket
handkerchiefs; two chemises, three night caps, and six pocket
handkerchiefs. 2nd, 8d., 1s., 1s. 3d., 1s. 3d., 1s., 1s., 6d.., 5s., 2s.
6d., 1s., 1d., 1d., one patch work quilt. 5th, 6s. 8th, 4s. 10th, a box,
six canisters, and an inkstand, 13th, 5s. 15th, 1l., S. S. 2s. 6d., 4s.
16th, 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 6d., 1s., 1s. 6d. 19th, 1s. 2 1/2d. 23rd,
1s., 10s., 1l., 2s. 6d. September 1st, 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s., 1s., 4d.,
6d., 4d., 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 1s. 6d., 6d., 6d., 2d., 1l., 1l., twelve
chemises, one worn stuff frock, 4d., 4d., a basket of apples, and three
pounds of sugar. 3rd, 1l., 5l. 5th, 12s. 7th, 5s., 2s. 6d. 8th, 5s. 13th,
1s., 1s., 1s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 3d., 1s., 1s. 1d.,
1s. 1d., 2d., 6d., 6d., 2s. 6d., 6d. 14th, 1l., 10s., 10s., 14 pinafores,
a basket of apples. 19th, 8s., 2s. 6d. Box in the Orphan-House 1l. 6s. 1
1/4d., 10s. 20th, 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 1d, 4d. 27th, several numbers of the
"Record" were sent to be sold for the benefit of the Orphan-House, 4d.,
4d., 2s., 2s. 6d. 30th, 1l. was given as "A Thank-offering for spiritual
mercies vouchsafed to a child." Also Mr. B-sen., Surgeon, kindly
offered, today, to give his attendance and medicine gratuitously to the
orphans. October 1st, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. A worn cloak. 3rd, 5s., 3s. 3d.,
1s. A gallon of dried peas. 4th, 1l. 3s. 6d. 10th, 4s., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d.,
1s. 1d., 1s. 11th, 10s., 2d., 6d., 3s. 3d. 14th, 4 1/2 gallons of beer.
16th, three tippets, 8d., 4d., 5s., 5s., 5s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 10s.,
10s., 2s., 1s., 1s., 2s. 6d., 5s. 17th, 4s. 18th, 10s., 6d., 6d., 4d.,
4d., 6d., 1d., 4d., 1s. 19th, 1l. 24th, 4s. 25th, three frocks, two
pinafores, two tippets, three pairs of sleeves, 10s., 10s., 4d., 1s. 27th,
three tippets. Anonymously was sent by post, 10s., with the request that
prayer should be made for the donor, for divine guidance under
circumstances of much doubt and anxiety. 29th, 12 cloth tippets. 31st, 4s.
November 2nd, 1s. 3d., 1s. 3d., 1s. 4th, two little cloaks, four quarterns
of bread. 5th, two turkeys, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. There was also given by a
brother £100.--£50. of which was previously promised, to ensure the rent
for premises. It is a remarkable fact concerning this donation, that I
had, in December of last year, repeatedly asked the Lord to incline the
heart of this brother to give one hundred pounds, and I made a memorandum
of this prayer in my journal of December 12, 1835. On January 25th, 1836,
fifty pounds was promised by him, and on November 5, fifty pounds besides
that sum was given; but it was not till some days after, that I
remembered, that the very sum, for which I had asked the Lord, had been
given. Thus we often may receive an answer to prayer, and scarcely
remember that it is an answer. When it came to my mind that this prayer
had been noted down in my journal, and I showed it to the donor, we
rejoiced together; he, to have been the instrument in giving, and I to
have had, the request granted. November 6th, S. S. 7s. 6d. 7th,
anonymously was sent a ton of coals, 4s., one petticoat, two pairs of
gloves, two ruffs. 8th, 5l., 2s. 2d., 3s., 2s. 2d., 2s. 2d., 1s. 6d., 2d.,
6d., 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d. 14th, there was given 20l. for the
Orphan-house, and 20l. for the Infant-Orphan-House. Both papers,
in which the money was enclosed, contained these words: "If the
Lord prolongs the life of the unworthy giver of the enclosed, the
same sum will be given at Christmas."--It has been more than once
observed to me that I could not expect to continue to receive large
sums; for that persons, when first such an institution is established,
might be stirred up to give liberally, but that afterwards one had to look
to a number of regular subscribers, and that, if
those were lacking, it was not likely that such a
work could go on. On such occasions, I have said but little;
but I have had the fullest assurance, that it is a small matter
for the Lord to incline donors to give liberally, a second or
third time, if it were for our real welfare. And accordingly the donor,
above referred to, added to the first 50l. another 50l., and the last
mentioned benefactor, to the 50l., given on a former occasion, added
the just mentioned 40l., with the promise to give another 40l.
at Christmas. I would only add on this subject, that there are
some subscribers, and even some who give considerably; yet
I would state, for the Lord's glory, that if they were
twenty times as many, I should desire that my eyes might not be directed
to them, but to the Lord alone, and that I might be enabled to take the
payment of every subscription as a donation from HIM. On the
other hand, if there were no subscribers at all, yet the Lord, who
heareth prayer, is rich to give according to our need.--There
was given also today, "A widow's mite," 10s.--also 4d. November
14th, 4s., also four ducks. For the Infant-Orphan-House, five
frocks, four shirts, four chemises, a bed gown, two petticoats; three
quarterns bread. 15th 6d., 6d., 4d., 6d., 4d. 16th, by sale of trinkets,
1l. 5s., 4s. 18th, anonymously were sent a boy's cap, a bonnet, a small
piece of print. 19th, four quarterns of bread. 21st, 4s., 2s. 6d. 22nd,
4d., 6d., 6d. 23rd, three frocks, a tippet, six pairs of sheets, three
pairs of blankets. 25th, 12 hymn books, a worn cloak, a new tent bedstead.
27th, anonymously put into Bethesda boxes 5s. 28th, 4s. 29th, two turkeys.
30th, 10s., five yards of blanketing, a worn shawl. December 1st, a
patch-work quilt and five yards of print, 3d., 10s. 4th, 5l. 5s.
5th, 4s., 1l. 5s. 6th, 6d., 2d., a worn cloak, a petticoat, a piece
of linen for window curtains. 8th, box in the Orphan-House
2l. 4s. 1 1/2d. 9th, 1l. Also 1l. with "Mark ix. 36, 37," written on
the paper. A most encouraging passage for this work, the force of which I
had never felt before.--About a hundred weight of treacle.
I. From this statement it appears, that 770l. 0s. 9 1/2d. has been
actually given, and that 40l. is promised. All the money, and all the
articles of furniture, clothing, provision, &c., have been given, without
one individual having been asked by me for anything, from which I have
still refrained, that the Lord's own hand might be clearly seen in the
matter, and that the whole might clearly appear as an answer to prayer.
II. After frequent prayer, that, if it were the will of God, He would be
pleased to send us a Matron and Governess for the Infant-Orphan-House,
this petition also has been answered. In addition to this we obtained a
convenient house for the purpose, No. 1, Wilson Street, together with a
piece of ground for a play-ground; and we therefore began to furnish it on
November 21st, and on November 28th we took in the first children.
III. Of late it has appeared well to us to employ some of the strongest
and eldest girls of the Orphan-House in the work of the
Infant-Orphan-House, under the direction of the Matron and
Governess. From this plan it appeared the following advantages would
result. 1st. Thus the wages which we should have to pay to assistants
would be saved. 2nd. Without any further expense to the Institution,
we should in this way be able to support five or six orphans more.
3rd. If thus the bigger girls of the Orphan-House pass through the
Infant-Orphan-House, before they are sent into service, they will be
accustomed to nursery work, which is so important for young servants.
4th. This plan would allow us to have the bigger girls longer under
our care, as we should have full employment for them.
[In the original paper follow eight other paragraphs, containing the
audited account and various other points of information respecting the two
Orphan-Houses, which, at the time when this Report was issued, were of
importance to the donors, but are left out now, as it seems desirable to
make this edition of the Narrative as concise as may be. This plan has
also been adopted concerning the three previous papers, and will be
further adhered to.]
GEORGE MÜLLER.
Bristol, Dec. 20, 1836.
December 31. We had this evening a prayer-meeting to praise the Lord for
His goodness during the past year, and to ask Him for a continuance of His
favours during the coming year. We continued together till half-past
eleven. During the past year there have been received into the church of
Gideon, 23 brethren and sisters, and into that of Bethesda, 29--altogether
52. Of these 52, 31 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through
the instrumentality of brother Craik and me. There have now been admitted
into Gideon Church, 79 brethren and sisters who have been converted
through our instrumentality, and 86 into the Church of Bethesda: 165 seals
to our ministry in Bristol. Besides this, several have fallen asleep in
the faith who never were in communion with us; several of our spiritual
children are connected with other churches in and out of Bristol; and many
are now standing as hopeful characters on the list of candidates for
fellowship. There have been added to the church of Gideon, since we came
to Bristol, 154; to the church at Bethesda, 193--altogether 347; so that
the number of both churches would be 415 (68 believers we found at
Gideon), had there been no changes; but:
Of Gideon church are under
church discipline 5; of Bethesda 8; altogether 13
Do. have fallen asleep 15 do. 7 do. 22
Do. have left Bristol 12 do. 6 do. 18
Do. have left us, but are
still in Bristol . . 9 do. 4 do. 13
41 25 66
There are, therefore, at present, in fellowship with us at Gideon 181,
and at Bethesda 168--altogether 349.
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year, as it regards
my temporal supplies:--
1. In offerings through the boxes £133 8s. 9d.
2. In presents of money, from brethren in and out of Bristol £56 13s. 0d.
3. Through family connexion £5 0s. 0d.
4. Besides this have been sent to us clothes, provisions, &c., which were
worth to us at least £30 0s. 0d.
5. We have been living half free of rent during the last nine months,
whereby we have saved at least £7 10s. 0d.
Altogether £232 11s. 9d.
January 2, 1837. This evening the two churches had again an especial
prayer-meeting, which was continued till half-past ten.
January 5. Today a sister called and told me about the conversion of her
father, who, in his eightieth year, after having for many years lived
openly in sin, is at last brought to the knowledge of the Lord. May this
encourage the children of God to continue to pray for their aged parents
and other persons; for this sister had long prayed for the conversion of
her father, and at last, though only after twenty years, the Lord gave her
the desire of her heart. It was an especial refreshment to my spirit to
hear the particulars of this case, as I had known so much of the sinful
life of this aged sinner.
January 31, and February 2. These two days we have had especial meetings
for prayer and humiliation, on account of the influenza, to acknowledge
the hand of God in this chastisement, as the disease is so prevalent in
Bristol.
April 8. There are now 60 Children in the two Orphan-Houses, 30 in each.
April 22. The Lord has mercifully stayed the typhus fever in the
Orphan-House, in answer to prayer. There were only two cases, and
the children are recovering.
April 24. This evening we had a comfortable meeting with 30 brethren and
sisters over the Word. (Of late brother Craik and I have frequently set
apart an evening, generally once a week, to meet with ten, twenty or
thirty brethren and sisters, to take tea with them, and to spend the rest
of the evening in prayer and meditation over the Scriptures. We began
these meetings chiefly on account of having thus an opportunity of seeing
more of the saints, as the greatness of the number of those in communion
with us makes it impossible to see them as often in their houses, as it
might be profitable, or as often as we desire. We commenced these meetings
in our own houses, choosing those in particular, of whom we had seen
little. After we had had several meetings in our own houses, we were
invited by the brethren and sisters, and they have asked others to meet
us. Sometimes also we have proposed those for invitation whom we see but
seldom. These meetings we have found both for ourselves and others very
useful, and they will, no doubt, continue to be a blessing, as long as the
Lord shall enable us to precede and follow them with prayer. They are also
particularly important as a means of the brethren becoming acquainted with
each other, and of uniting their hearts.)
May 13. Today I have had again much reason to mourn over my corrupt
nature, particularly on account of want of gratitude for the many temporal
mercies by which I am surrounded. I was so sinful as to be dissatisfied on
account of the dinner, because I thought it would not agree with me,
instead of thanking God for the rich provision, and asking heartily the
Lord's blessing upon it, and remembering the many dear children of God who
would have been glad of such a meal. I rejoice in the prospect of that day
when, in seeing Jesus as He is, I shall be like Him. May 14. Lord's-day.
The Lord, instead of chastising me today for the ingratitude and
discontent, of yesterday, by leaving me to my own strength in preaching,
and bringing temporal want upon me, has given me a good day. I have
preached with much assistance and comfort, and the Lord has given me rich
temporal supplies: for besides the freewill offerings of 2l. 8s. 10d., a
5l. note was put into my hand for the supply of any want I may have. Thus
the Lord melted the heart by love, and made me still more see the baseness
of my conduct yesterday. Thanks be to God, the day is coming, when Satan
will triumph no more!
May 18. There are now 64 children in the two Orphan-Houses, and two more
are expected, which will fill the two houses.
May 28. The narrative of some of the Lord's dealings with me is now near
being published, which has led me again most earnestly this day week, and
repeatedly since, to ask the Lord that He would be pleased to give me what
is wanting of the 1000l., for which sum I have asked Him on behalf of the
orphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so much
so, that I have repeatedly been able to thank God, that He will surely
give me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not be
enough. As the whole matter, then, about the Orphan-House had been
commenced for the glory of God, that in this way before the world and the
church there might be another visible proof, that the Lord delights in
answering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the 1000l. wanting; and,
as I earnestly desired, the book might not leave the press, before every
shilling of that sum had been given, in answer to prayer, without one
single individual having been asked by me for any thing, that thus I might
have the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for God in this
book:--for these reasons, I say, I have given myself earnestly to
prayer about this matter since May 21. On May 22 came in 7l. 10s.,
and on May 23, 3l. On May 24 a lady, whom I never saw before, called on
me and gave me 40l. This circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for the
Lord showed me thereby afresh His willingness to continue to send us
large sums, and that they can even come from individuals whom we have
never seen before. On May 26th 3l. 6s. was sent, from two unexpected
quarters. On May 27 was sent anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes from
London and a sovereign. Today (May 28) I received again 4l. 3s. 6d.; and
also a parcel was sent from a considerable distance, containing
seven pairs of socks, and the following trinkets, to be sold for the
support of the orphans: 1 gold pin with an Irish pearl, 15 Irish
pearls, 2 pine, 2 brooches, 2 lockets, 1 seal, 2 studs, 11 rings,
1 chain, and 1 bracelet, all of gold.
June 15. Today I gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the
remainder of the 1000l. This evening 5l. was given, so that now the whole
sum is made up. To the glory of the Lord, whose I am, and whom I serve, I
would state again, that every shilling of this money, and all the articles
of clothing and furniture, which have been mentioned in the foregoing
pages, have been given to me, without one single individual having been
asked by me for any thing. The reason why I have refrained altogether from
soliciting any one for help is, that the hand of God evidently might be
seen in the matter, that thus my fellow-believers might be encouraged more
and more to trust in Him, and that also those who know not the Lord, may
have a fresh proof that, indeed, it is not a vain thing to pray to God. As
the Lord then has con-descended most fully, and even above my
expectations, to answer my prayers, arid to Fill my mouth (Psalm lxxxi.
10,) will you help me, brethren and sisters beloved in the Lord, to praise
Him for His condescension. It is a wonderful thing that such a worthless,
faithless servant as I am, should have power with God. Take courage from
this for yourselves, brethren. Surely, if such a one as I am, so little
conformed to the mind of Jesus, has his prayers answered, may not you
also, at last, have your requests granted to you. During eighteen months
and ten days this petition has been brought before God almost daily. From
the moment I asked it, till the Lord granted it fully, I had never been
allowed to doubt that He would give every shilling of that sum. Often have
I praised Him beforehand in the assurance, that he would grant my request.
The thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that we
believe that we receive, according to Mark xi. 24. "What things soever ye
desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have
them." But this I often find lacking in my prayers. Whenever, however, I
have been enabled to believe that I receive, the Lord has dealt with me
according to my faith. This moment while I am writing (June 28, 1837), I
am waiting on the Lord for 17l. 10s., the rent for two school-rooms, which
will be due in three days, and I have but 3l. towards that sum. I believe
God can give; I believe God is willing to give it, if it be for our real
welfare; I also have repeatedly asked God for it; but as yet I cannot in
the triumph of faith praise Him beforehand, that He will assuredly give me
this small sum. I am waiting at every delivery of letters, at every ring
at the bell, for help; I am truly waiting on God, and God alone for it;
but as yet I do not feel as sure of being able to pay the rent of those
school rooms, as I should, if I had the money already in my pocket.
As the Lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as I
consider it one of the particular talents which He has intrusted to me, to
exercise faith upon His promises regarding my own temporal wants and those
of others; and as an Orphan-House for boys above seven years of age seems
greatly needed in this city; and as also, without it, we know not how to
provide for the little boys, in the Infant-Orphan-House when they are
above seven years of age; I purpose to establish an Orphan-House for about
forty boys above seven years of age. But there are three difficulties in
the way, which must first be removed, before I could take any further step
in this work. 1. My hands are more than filled already through the work
arising from the ministry of the Word, the attending to the ordering of
church affairs, and the oversight of 370 brethren and sisters. And yet, in
addition to this, I have also the work which comes upon me in connexion
with the six day-schools, a Sunday-school, an adult-school, the two
Orphan-Houses, and the circulation of the Scriptures. (This latter part
of the work is more and more increasing; for merely within the last seven
months 836 copies of the Scriptures have been circulated). For these
reasons, then, I could not in any degree enlarge the field of labour,
except the Lord should be pleased to send us a brother, who, as steward,
could take from me the work which arises from keeping the accounts,
obtaining and circulating the Scriptures, giving advice in
ordinary matters respecting the Orphan-Houses, attending
to the applications for admission of children in the Orphan-Houses, &c.
But whether there is an Orphan-House for boys established
or not, such a brother is greatly needed, even as the extent
of the work is now, and I therefore lay it on the hearts of the believers
who may read this, to help me with their prayers, that such a brother may
be found. 2. In addition to this, it would be needful, before I could take
any further step, to obtain a truly pious master for the boys, add other
suitable individuals who may be needed to take care of the children. 3.
The third thing by which I desire to be assured, that it is the will of
God that I should go forward in the Orphan-House is, that He provide the
means for such an enlargement of the work. Whilst, on the one hand I would
confess to the praise of God, that He has been pleased to give me faith to
trust in Him; yet, on the other hand, I desire to be kept from presumption
and enthusiasm. I do not intend to wait till thousands are raised, or till
the Institution is endowed; but I must have such a sum given to me as is
needed to furnish a house for forty boys, and to clothe that number, and
to have a little to begin with: without such a sum I should not consider
it to be the will of God to enlarge the field. What I ask then from the
brethren who may feel interested in seeing an Orphan-House for boys
established in Bristol is, that they would help me with their prayers,
that if it be the will of God, He Himself would be pleased to remove these
three difficulties out of the way.
[Whilst the preceding pages of the first edition of this Narrative were
in the press, and before the reception of the last proof sheet for
correction, the same friend who gave me on May 24, 1837, Forty Pounds for
the orphans, and whom up to that time I had never seen, gave on July 12,
1837, Four Hundred and Sixty Pounds more, being altogether Five Hundred
Pounds.]
REVIEW OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS, THE TIME THAT I HAVE
LABOURED IN BRISTOL WITH BROTHER CRAIK.
JULY, 1837.
I. Some of the mercies which the Lord has granted to us during this period.
Concerning all this time I have most especially to say, that goodness and
mercy have followed me every day. My blessings have been many and great,
my trials few and small. To the praise of God I will mention a few of the
many mercies which He has bestowed on me.
1. I consider it one of the especial mercies that, amidst so many
engagements I have been kept in the ways of God, and that this day I have
as much desire as ever, yea more than ever, to live alone for Him, who has
done so much for me. My greatest grief is that I love Him so little. I
desire many things concerning myself; but I desire nothing so much, as to
have a heart filled with love to the Lord. I long for a warm personal
attachment to Him.
2. I consider it likewise a great mercy, for which I can never
sufficiently praise God, that, whilst during these last five years so many
of His children have fallen into great errors, and even those who once ran
well, I, who am so faithless to Him, should have been kept from them.
There is scarcely one point of importance, comparatively speaking,
respecting which I have had scriptural reason to alter my views, since I
have come to Bristol. My views concerning the fundamental truths of the
gospel are the same as they were at the end of the year 1829 though I have
been more and more established in them during these last five years, and
have seen more minutely the mind of God concerning many truths. My relish
for the study of the word of God has not decreased.
3. I consider it further an exceeding great mercy, that I have been kept
in uninterrupted love and union with my brother, friend, and
fellow-labourer, Henry Craik. Very few of the blessings that the Lord has
bestowed on him, on me, and on the two churches, whose servants we are,
are of greater importance. There is not one point of importance, as it
regards the truth, on which we differ. In judgment, as to matters
connected with the welfare of the saints among whom we labour, we have
been almost invariably at once of one mind. (Lord, to Thee is the praise
due for this!!!) We are as much, or more than ever united in spirit; and
if the Lord permit, we desire to labour together till He come. Who that
knows the proneness in man to seek his own, and to get glory to himself;
who that knows that the heart naturally is full of envy; who that is
acquainted with the position which we both hold in the church, and the
occasions thereby occurring for the flesh to feel offended:--who that
considers these things will not ascribe our union, our uninterrupted union
and love, entirely to the Lord? Let the brethren among whom we labour
praise God much for it! Let the brethren everywhere, who may read this,
praise God for it! This union has glorified God! This union has sprung
from God! But, for this union we depend now as much as ever upon God, and
therefore let the brethren pray, that God in mercy would give us grace, to
put aside every thing that might hinder it.
4. We have had much joy on account of the scriptural conduct of many of
the children of God among whom we labour. The two churches have on the
whole shown, in some measure, that even in our day there can be love among
the brethren. I do not mean that we have been without trials on account of
the behaviour of the saints under our care; nor do I mean to say, that
either we or they have followed Christ as we might or ought to have done;
but only, that we have been mercifully kept hitherto from great divisions;
that the cases in which acts of discipline were needed (as the list at the
end of the last two years shows) were so few; that we have had much more
joy than sorrow on account of the brethren and sisters:--these are
matters, worthy to be noticed among the special blessings which God has
bestowed on us during the last five years.
5. Another mercy I mention is, that it has pleased God to keep us from
some most awful characters, who either actually had proposed themselves
for fellowship, or desired to do so, and who, so far as the testimony by
word of mouth went, could fully satisfy us. From several such individuals
who lived in open sin, we have been kept, by the Spirit constraining them
to confess, and that, perhaps, even against their own will, their wicked
deeds, which they were practicing; in other instances we suspected them,
and, on making inquiry, found out their sins.
6. Another mercy which the Lord has kindly bestowed on us is, that though
neither Brother Craik nor I am strong in body, yet we have been helped
through much work; and, at the time when we were laid aside, the Lord made
up our lack of service, either by sending help from without, or by putting
into exercise the gifts of the brethren among us. At those seasons
disunion might so easily have sprung up among the brethren; but the good
shepherd of the sheep watched so graciously over the flock, that they were
kept together in much love and union, whereby also a testimony was given
for God, that their faith stood not in the power of man.
7. Sometimes, when particular trials were laid on us, and things appeared
very dark, the Lord most mercifully not only supported us under those
trials, but also unexpectedly delivered us much sooner out of them, than
we could have at all anticipated. May this especially encourage brethren
who labour in word and doctrine, or who rule in the church, to trust in
the Lord in Seasons of peculiar trial!