so that not once have I lacked the necessaries of life, and generally I
have abounded; and all this without having one shilling of regular income.
I am not tired of this way of living, nor have I even for once been
allowed to regret having begun to live in this way.
II. The work of the Lord in our hands.
1. It has pleased the Lord to continue to bless the word preached by us
to the conversion of many sinners, and there seems to have been no period
during these five years, in which this work has been stopped by Him. There
have come again several cases before us lately, in which individuals have
been recently brought to apprehend their lost state by nature, and to see
that Jesus of Nazareth alone can save them. The whole number of those who
have been converted through our instrumentality in Bristol, and who have
been received into fellowship with us is 178; besides this, the Lord has
given us many seals to our ministry in this city, but the individuals are
now either only standing on the list of candidates for fellowship, or are
united to other churches in and out of Bristol, or have fallen asleep
before they were united to us.
2. The whole number of the brethren and sisters, now in fellowship with
us, is 370: 189 at Gideon, 181 at Bethesda.
3. It is now three years and four months since brother Craik and I began,
in dependence upon the Lord for funds, to seek to help the spread of the
Gospel through the instrumentality of schools, the circulation of the Holy
Scriptures, and by aiding Missionary exertions. Since then there have been
circulated through our instrumentality 4030 copies of the Scriptures; four
Day-Schools for poor children have been established by us; 1119 children
have been instructed in the six Day-Schools, and 353 children are now in
those six Day-Schools. Besides this, a Sunday-School, and an Adult-School
have been supplied with all they needed, and Missionary exertions in the
East Indies, in Upper Canada, and on the Continent of Europe, have been
aided. In addition to this the word of God has been preached from house to
house among the poor, in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution, by brother C-r, within the last two years.
4. There have been received into the Orphan-Houses 74 orphans, and there
are now 64 in them.
And now, in conclusion, I would say that the reason, why I have spoken so
plainly about the sins of my unconverted days, is, that I may magnify the
riches of the grace of God, which has been bestowed on me, a guilty
wretch. I have weighed much whether I should do so or not, knowing well
what contempt it may bring on me; but it appeared to me, after much
prayer, that as the object of this little work is to speak well of the
Lord, I should say in a few words what I once was, in order that it might
be seen so much the more clearly, what He has done for me. I also judged
that, in doing so, some, who live at present in sin, might see through my
example the misery into which sin leads, even as it regards the present
life, and the happiness which is connected with the ways of God; and that
they also might be encouraged through what God has done for me, to turn to
Him. I have made myself therefore a fool, and degraded myself in the eyes
of the inhabitants of Bristol, that you, my dear unconverted fellow
sinners, who may read this, may, with God's blessing, be made wise. The
love of Christ has constrained me to speak about my former lies, thefts,
fraud, &c., that you might be benefited. Do not think that I am a fool,
and therefore I have told out my heart in my folly; but I have made myself
a fool for the benefit of your souls. May God in mercy, for His dear Son's
sake, grant that these pages may be a savour of life unto life to you!
The reason why I have spoken so plainly about some of the sins and errors
into which I have fallen since my conversion, and about my answers to
prayer, and the supplies of my temporal wants, and some of my family
concerns, and the success which God has given to our labours,--is not,
because I do not know that it is contrary to worldly custom, and against
the interests of my worldly reputation; nor is it, as if I made light of
my falls; nor as if I would boast in having had my prayers so often
answered, and having been in such a variety of ways used as an instrument
in doing the Lord's work; but, I have written what I have written for the
benefit of my brethren. I have mentioned some of my sins and errors, that
through my loss the brethren who may read this may gain. I have mentioned
the answers of prayer, that through them they may be encouraged to make
known their requests unto God. I have spoken about my temporal supplies,
that through seeing how richly God has supplied my temporal wants, since
the commencement of 1830, when I left London, they may be stirred up "to
seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness," resting assured,
that, in doing so, He will give them what is needful for the life that now
is. I have alluded to some family circumstances, that children of God may
be encouraged to cast their family burdens upon the Lord, in order that,
in doing so, they may find Him carrying the burdens for them. And lastly,
I have written about the success which God has been pleased to grant us in
His work, that it may be seen, that, in acting on scriptural principles,
we have the Lord on our side, and that our mode of preaching is honoured
by Him. If in anything which I have written I have been mistaken (and what
human work is there which is free from error), I have been mistaken after
much prayer. Whilst writing I have often asked help of God. Whilst
revising the work, I have still again and again bowed my knees. I have
also frequently entreated the Lord to bless this feeble effort of mine to
speak to His praise, and I have not the slightest hesitation in saying,
that, from the earnestness and comfort which I have enjoyed in prayer, and
from the sincere self-examination of my heart, I know that God will bless
this little work. May I ask you then, my brethren and sisters, who have
been benefited in reading this book, to help me with your prayers, that it
may be blessed to others. May I also ask you, my brethren and sisters, who
think I ought not to have published it, to ask God to bless that which you
yourselves consider good and scriptural in it.
And, now last of all, brethren beloved in the Lord, remember me in your
prayers.
END OF THE FIRST PART