repeated prayer and reading of the Word. This morning I awoke with these
words:--"My grace is sufficient for thee." As soon as I had dressed
myself, I turned to 2 Cor. xii. to consider this passage; but in doing so,
after prayer, I was led to think that I had not been directed to this
portion for the sake of speaking on it as I at first thought, and I
therefore followed my usual practice in such cases, i. e., to read on in
the Scriptures where I left off last evening. In doing so, when I came to
Heb. xi. 13-16, I felt that this was the text. Having prayed, I was
confirmed in it, and in a few minutes the Lord was pleased to open this
passage to me. I preached on it with great enjoyment, both at Gideon and
at Bethesda, particularly in the evening at Bethesda. This help was
evidently from God. May He fill my heart with gratitude, and encourage me
by this, to trust in Him for the future! I now understand why those
words, "My grace is sufficient for thee," were brought to my mind when I
awoke this morning.--[It pleased God, as I have heard since, greatly to
bless what I said on that passage, and at least one soul was brought
through it to the Lord.]
June 25. These last three days I have had very little real communion with
God, and have therefore been very weak spiritually, and have several times
felt irritability of temper. May God in mercy help me to have more secret
prayer!--Let none expect to have the mastery over his inward corruption in
any degree, without going in his weakness again and again to the Lord for
strength. Nor will prayer with others, or conversing with the brethren,
make up for secret prayer; for I had been engaged in both repeatedly,
during the three previous days, as my journal shows.
June 26. I was enabled, by the grace of God, to rise early, and I had
nearly two hours in prayer before breakfast. I feel now this morning more
comfortable. May God in mercy help me to walk before Him this day, and to
do His work; and may He keep me from all evil!
July 5. The Lord very mercifully kept us today from a great calamity, the
apron of our Christian servant having caught fire; but the fire was
extinguished, and she was kept from being burned!
July 11. I have prayed much about a master for a boys' school, to be
established in connexion with our little Institution. Eight have applied
for the situation, but none seemed to be suitable. Now at last the Lord
has given us a brother, who will commence the work. The Lord allowed us to
call upon Him many times before He answered, but at last He granted our
request.
July 13. Today we finished reading through the Scriptures, at family
prayer, the second time since we came to Bristol, which is little more
than two years. I mention this circumstance to show how often we may read
through the whole of the Scriptures, though we should read but little
every day, if we go regularly onward.
August 18. Today brother Craik and I engaged a sister to be governess of
another girls' school, which we intend to establish, in dependence upon
the Lord for supplies. August 27. I had prayed repeatedly, and had read
ten chapters of the Word to get a text, but obtained none, and had to go
this evening to the chapel without knowing on what portion of His Holy
Word the Lord would have me to speak. At the commencement of the meeting I
was directed to Lament. iii. 22-26, on which I spoke with much assistance
and enjoyment.
September 18. A brother, a tailor, was sent to measure me for new
clothes. My clothes are again getting old, and it is therefore very kind
of the Lord to provide thus. September 25. A brother sent me a new hat
today.
October 9. Our little institution, established in dependence upon the
Lord, and supplied by Him with means, has now been seven months in
operation, and through it have been benefited with instruction,--1. In the
Sunday-School, about 120 children. 2. In the Adult-School, about 40
Adults. 3. In the two Day-Schools for boys and, the two Day-Schools for
girls, 209 children, of whom 54 have been entirely free; the others pay
about one-third of the expense. There have been also circulated 482
Bibles, and 520 New Testaments. Lastly, 57l. has been spent to aid
missionary exertions. The means which the Lord has sent us, as the fruit
of many prayers, during these seven months, amount to 167l. 10s. 0 1/2d.
October 28. This afternoon brother Craik and I took tea with seven
brethren and sisters, whom the Lord has brought to a knowledge of Himself
through our instrumentality, within the last two years; all but one
belonging to the same family. We heard there a most affecting account of a
poor little orphan boy, who for some time attended one of our schools, and
who seems there, as far as we can judge, to have been brought to a real
concern about his soul, through what I said concerning the torments of
hell, and who some time ago was taken to the poor-house some miles out of
Bristol. He has expressed great sorrow that he can no longer attend our
school and ministry. May this, if it be the Lord's will, lead me to do
something also for the supply of the temporal wants of poor children, the
pressure of which has occasioned this poor boy to be taken away from our
school!
November 1. Today, our means being completely gone, we had them supplied
in the following manner:--some time since some silver spoons were given
to us, which we never used, from the consideration, that for servants of
Christ it was better, for the sake of example, to use cheaper ones, and
for that reason we had sold our plate at Teignmouth. Yet up to this day
those spoons remained unsold. But now, as we wanted money, we disposed of
them, considering that the kind giver would not be displeased at our doing
so to supply our need.
November 4. I spent the greater part of the morning in reading the Word
and in prayer, and asked also for our daily bread, for we have scarcely
any money left.--We obtained today two large school-rooms, which we much
needed. Thus the Lord graciously helps us concerning the Institution, and
gives us faith to go forward in the work, enlarging the field more and
more (though we have but little money), yet so that we do not contract
debts.
November 5. I spent almost the whole of the day in prayer and reading the
Word. I prayed also again for the supply of our own temporal wants, but
the Lord has not as yet appeared. Still my eyes are up to Him. November 8.
Saturday. The Lord has graciously again supplied our temporal wants during
this week, though at the commencement of it we had but little left. I have
prayed much this week for money, more than any other week, as far as I
remember, since we have been in Bristol. The Lord has not answered our
prayers by causing means to be sent in the way of a gift, but has supplied
us through our selling what we did not need, or by our being paid what was
awed to us.
December 10. Today we found that a departed brother had left both to
brother Craik and me 12l. December 31, 1834.--I. Since brother Craik and I
have been labouring in Bristol, 227 brethren and sisters have been added
to us in fellowship. We found 68 believers in the church at Gideon, so
that now the whole number would be 295, had there been no changes, but it
is only 257; for twelve have fallen asleep; six have left Bristol; twelve
have left the churches during the two years and six months, but are still
in Bristol; eight are under church discipline, respecting some of whom,
however, we hope that they maybe soon restored to communion. Of those 257,
there belong 125 to Bethesda church, and 132 to Gideon church. Out of the
227 who have been added to us, 103 have been converted through our
instrumentality, and many have been brought into the liberty of the
Gospel, or reclaimed from backsliding. Forty-seven young converts are at
Gideon, and fifty-six at Bethesda. Considering that some have fallen
asleep who never were in communion with us, and yet converted through our
instrumentality; and that some are united to other churches in and out of
Bristol; and that many are now standing as candidates for fellowship, of
those who have been given to us in this city, as seals to our ministry;
the number added may be only one-half, or two-thirds of the real number.
May the Lord fill our hearts with gratitude, for having thus condescended
to use us! II. The income which the Lord has given me during
this year is:--
1. My part of the freewill offerings through the boxes £135 13s. 2 1/4d.
2. Money given to me by saints in and out of Bristol £92 7s. 6d.
Altogether. . . £228 0s. 8 1/4d.
3. Besides this, many articles in provisions, clothing, and furniture,
worth to us about £60 0s. 0d.
January 1, 1835. We had last evening an especial prayer-meeting of the
two churches, and any other persons hat chose to attend, for the sake of
praising the Lord for all His many mercies which we have received during
the past year, and to ask Him to continue to us His favour during this
year also. It was open to any of the brethren to pray, as they felt
disposed, and eighteen did so, as I afterwards reckoned. We continued in
prayer and praise, mixed with singing, reading the Word, and exhortation,
from seven in the evening till one in the morning. January 13. From ten
till one in the first part of the day, and from six to half-past eight
this evening, I visited, from house to house, the people living in Orange
Street, and saw in this way the families living in nine houses, to
ascertain whether any individuals wanted Bibles, whether they could read,
whether they wished their children to be put to our Day-Schools or
Sunday-School, with the view of helping them accordingly. This afforded
opportunities to converse with them about their souls. In this way I sold
eight Bibles and two Testaments at reduced prices, and gave away one
Testament; engaged one woman as an adult scholar, one boy as a day
scholar; and spoke besides this to about thirty people about their
souls.--January 15. This morning, from ten till one, I went again from
house to house in Orange Street. I visited nine houses, sold a Bible and
Testament at reduced prices, and engaged, a few children for the
schools, and conversed with fifteen persons about their souls. I
should greatly delight in being frequently engaged in such work, for it
is a most important one; but our hands are so full with other work, that
we can do but little in this way.--January 17. Today brother
Groves arrived from the East Indies. One reason of his coming to
England is, to go to Germany to obtain missionary brethren for the
East Indies, having reason to believe that he will find them there; and
he asked me, on account of my acquaintance with the language, to
accompany him, that thus, through me, he may be enabled to judge about
the state of the brethren, and to communicate to them what
he thinks needful for them to know. This is a most
important work. May the Lord direct me in this matter, and make me
to act according to His will!--I received again today, after prayer
respecting the funds, 10l. for the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution.--January 21. Received, in answer to prayer, from an
unexpected quarter, 5l. for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
The Lord pours in, whilst we seek to pour out. For during the past
week, merely among the poor, in going from house to house, fifty-eight
copies of the Scriptures were sold at reduced prices, the going on
with which is most important, but it will require much means.
January 28. I have, for these several days, again prayed much to
ascertain whether the Lord will have me to go as a missionary to the East
Indies, and I am most willing to go, if He will condescend to use me in
this way. January 29. I have been greatly stirred up to pray about going
to Calcutta as a missionary. May the Lord guide me in this matter! [After
all my repeated and earnest prayer in the commencement of 1835, and
willingness on my part to go, if it were the Lord's will, still He did not
send me.]
February 4. I have been praying repeatedly and earnestly of late
respecting my journey to the Continent. I desire to go, or not to go, just
as the Lord will have it to be. May He graciously direct me! I feel the
same about going to India. As a means to ascertain the Lord's will, I have
been reading about the Hindoos, that I may know more clearly the state in
which they are. May the Lord in mercy stir me up to care more about their
state, whether it be His will that I should labour personally among them,
or not!
February 16. I mentioned this evening, before the church at Bethesda, as
also on the 13th before the church at Gideon, that I see it the Lord's
will to go to the Continent, for the sake of assisting brother Groves by
my knowledge of the German language, in conferring with those who may
desire to go out as missionaries. There is not one believer amongst us who
sees any objection to it, and several have expressed that it seems to be
of the Lord, and that thus we could help, as churches, in the going forth
of missionaries. This is very comforting to me, as the Lord confirms me
still more, through this unanimity, in its being His will that I should go.
February 25. In the name of the Lord, and in dependence upon Him alone
for support, we have established a fifth Day-School for poor children,
which today has been opened. We have now two boys' schools, and three
girls' schools. February 26. This afternoon I left Bristol for the
Continent.
February 27. London. This morning I went to the Alien Office for my
passport. On entering the office I saw a printed paper, in which it is
stated that every alien neglecting to renew, every six months, his
certificate of residence which he receives on depositing his passport,
subjects himself to a penalty of £50, or imprisonment. This law I have
ignorantly broken ever since I left London in 1829. It appeared to me much
better to confess at once that I had ignorantly done so, than now
willfully break it; trusting in the Lord as it regarded the consequences
of the step. I did so, and the Lord inclined the heart of the officer with
whom I had to do, to pass over my noncompliance with the law, on account
of my having broken it ignorantly. Having obtained my passport, I found an
unexpected difficulty in the Prussian ambassador refusing to sign it, as
it did not contain a description of my person, and therefore I needed to
prove that I was the individual spoken of in the passport. This difficulty
was not removed for three days, when, after earnest prayer, through a
paper signed by same citizens of London, to whom I am known, the
ambassador was satisfied. This very difficulty, when once the Lord had
removed it, afforded me cause for thanksgiving; for I now obtained a new
passport, worded in such a way, that, should I ever need it again, will
prevent similar difficulties.
March 3. This evening I preached comfortably in Johnstreet Chapel, for
Brother Evans. I never preached in any place where I so much felt that he
who statedly ministers was more worthy than myself. This feeling led me to
earnest prayer, and the Lord heard and assisted me.
March 7. Dover. Last evening I left London, and arrived here this
morning. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before my fellow-passengers. I
have had a good deal of prayer and reading the Word in quietness, though
staying in an hotel.--March 8. I preached this morning and evening
comfortably in one of the chapels at Dover. March 9. All this day too we
have been obliged to remain at Dover, the sea being so rough that no
packet sails. I spent the day in writing letters, in reading the Word, and
in prayer. We depend entirely upon the Lord as it regards our movements.
This evening we asked the Lord twice, unitedly, that He would be pleased
to calm the wind and the waves, and I now feel quite comfortable in
leaving the matter with Him!
March 10. The Lord heard our prayer. We awake early in the morning, and
found the wind comparatively calm. We left the hotel before break of day,
to go to the packet. All being in great hurry, on our way towards the sea,
I was separated from brothers G. and Y. I now lifted up my heart to the
Lord, as He generally helps me to do on such occasions, to direct my steps
towards the boat which went out to meet the packet, and I found it almost
immediately. We had, in answer to prayer, a good passage. At Calais we
obtained our passports, luggage out of the custom house, and places in the
diligence without difficulty, and left a little after ten in the morning
for Paris. What a blessed thing it is, in all such matters, to have a
Father to go to for help! What a different thing, also, to travel in the
service of the Lord Jesus, from what it is to travel in the service of the
flesh!
March 11. Paris. We arrived here about ten this evening. March 12. Today
we went about our passports, and I saw thus a good deal of the best part
of Paris. Blessed be God, my heart is above these things! If ten years
ago, when my poor foolish heart was full of Paris, I had come here, how
should I have been taken up with these palaces, &c.; but now I look at
these things, and my heart does not care about them, What a difference
grace makes! There were few people, perhaps, more passionately fond of
traveling, and seeing fresh places, and new scenes, than myself; but now,
since, by the grace of God, I have seen beauty in the Lord Jesus, I have
lost my taste for these things.
March 13. We again found difficulty in obtaining our passports, arising,
probably, from a mistake of the police officers. May the Lord order this
matter so, that it shall be for our real welfare!--March 14. By the help
of the Lord we obtained our passports, and brother Groves and I took our
places in the Malle Poste for Strasburg, to leave tomorrow evening.
Brother Y. intends to remain here a few days, on account of his health.
March 15. This morning I preached in a little chapel in Palais Royal. We
left Paris this evening at six.--March 17. From six o'clock in the evening
of the 15th, till this afternoon at half-past one, when we arrived at
Strasburg, We were continually shut up in the Malle Poste, with the
exception of yesterday morning about seven, and last night about eleven,
when we were allowed half an hour for our meals. I had refreshing
communion with my beloved brother. This quickest of all conveyances in
France carries only two passengers, and we were thus able freely to
converse and to pray together, which was refreshing indeed. Though we had
traveled forty-four hours, yet as we had soon finished our business at
Strasburg, we left this evening for Basle, trusting in the Lord for
strength for the third night's traveling. A little after we had started,
we stuck fast in a new road. I lifted up my heart to the Lord, and we were
soon delivered, otherwise the circumstance, in a cold night, and during a
fall of snow, would have been trying, as we had to get out of the mail. I
now found myself again, after six years, amidst fellow-passengers who
spoke my native language; but alas! they spoke not for Christ.
March 18. This afternoon we arrived at Basle, where we were very kindly
received by the brethren.--March 23. Basle. These six days we have received
great kindness from the brethren. The Lord has given me an opportunity of
bringing before several who are already engaged in the ministry of the
Word, and before many who intend to give themselves to this work, many
important truths, so that in these opportunities I have been richly repaid
for the journey. This morning I conversed also with three brethren,
journeymen, who have a desire to give themselves to missionary work; but
nothing could be decided now. I awake very faint, but have been mercifully
helped through the work. Brother Groves intends to go to Geneva, and I to
Tubingen, in order to become acquainted with a brother, a student, who is
likely to go out with Brother Groves as a tutor to his sons, and to
combine with this, missionary service.
During my stay at Basle I attended one day a meeting at which a venerable
pious clergyman expounded the Greek New Testament to several brethren, who
purposed to give themselves to missionary service. The passage to which
this dear aged brother had then come, in the original of the New
Testament, was 1 Peter iii. 1, 2, which, in our English translation, reads
thus: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if
any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the
conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation
coupled with fear." After this aged brother had expounded the passage, he
related a circumstance which had occurred in his own days, and under his
own eyes, at Basle, which has appeared to me so encouraging for those
children of God who have unbelieving relatives, and especially for sisters
in the Lord who have unbelieving husbands; and which, at the same time, is
such a beautiful illustration of 1 Peter iii, 1.; that I judge it
desirable to insert the narrative of this fact here. I will do so as
exactly as I remember it. There lived at Basle an opulent citizen, whose
wife was a believer, but he himself feared not the Lord. His practice was,
to spend his evenings in a wine-house, where he would often tarry till
eleven, twelve, or even one o'clock. On such occasions his wife always
used to send her servants to bed, and sat up herself; to await the return
of her husband. When at last he came, she used to receive him most kindly,
never reproach him in the least, either at the time or afterwards, nor
complain at all on account of his late hours, by which she was kept from
seasonable rest. Moreover, if it should be needful to assist him in
undressing himself, when he had drunk to excess, she would do this also in
a very kind and meek way. Thus it went on for a long time. One evening,
this gentleman was again, as usual, in a wine-house, and having tarried
there with his merry companions till midnight, he said to them: "I bet,
that if we go to my house, we shall find my wife sitting up and waiting
for me, and she herself will come to the door and receive us very kindly;
and if I ask her to prepare us a supper, she will do it at once without
the least murmur, or unkind expression, or look." His companions in sin
did not believe his statement. At last, however, after some more
conversation about this strange statement, (as it appeared to them,) it
was agreed that they would all go, to see this kind wife. Accordingly they
went, and, after they had knocked, found the door immediately opened by
the lady herself, and they were all courteously and kindly received by
her. The party having entered, the master of the house asked his wife to
prepare supper for them, which she, in the meekest way, at once agreed to
do; and, after awhile, supper was served by herself; without the least
sign of dissatisfaction, or murmur, or complaint. Having now prepared all
for the company, she retired from the party to her room. When she had left
the party, one of the gentlemen said: "What a wicked and cruel man you
are, thus to torment so kind a wife." He then took his hat and stick, and,
without touching a morsel of the supper, went away. Another made a similar
remark, and left, without touching the supper. Thus one after another
left, till they were all gone, without tasting the supper. The master of
the house was now left alone, and the Spirit of God brought before him all
his dreadful wickedness, and especially his great sins towards his wife;
and the party had not left the house half an hour, before he went to his
wife's room, requesting her to pray for him, told her that he felt himself
a great sinner, and asked her forgiveness for all his behaviour towards
her. From that time he became a disciple of the Lord Jesus.