for the supply of my temporal wants. My little all I then had, at most
worth 100l. a year, I gave up to the Lord, having then nothing left but
about 5l. The Lord greatly honoured this little sacrifice, and He gave me,
in return, not only as much as I had given up, but considerably more. For
during the first year, He sent me already, in one way or other, (including
what came to me through family connexion) about 130l. During the second
year, 151l. 18s. 8d. During the third year, 195l. 3s. During this year,
267l. 15s. 8 1/4d. The following points require particular notice:--1.
During the last three years and three months I never have asked any one
for any thing; but, by the help of the Lord, I have been enabled at all
times to bring my wants to Him, and He graciously has supplied them all.
And thus, the Lord helping me, I hope to be enabled to go on to the last
moment of my life. 2. At the close of each of these four years, though my
income has been comparatively great, I have had only a few shillings, or
nothing at all left; and thus it is also today, by the help of God. 3.
During the last year a considerable part of my income has come from a
distance of several thousand miles, from a brother whom I never saw. 4.
Since we have been obliged to discontinue the giving away bread to about
50 poor people every day, on account of our neighbours, our income has not
been, during the second part of this year, nearly so great, scarcely
one-half as much, as during the first part of it; as if the Lord
would thereby show us that when the calls upon us are many, He is able
to send in accordingly. Observe this!
January 1, 1834. It seemed well to brother Craik and me, to have an
especial public meeting for thanksgiving to the Lord, for His many mercies
towards us since we have been in Bristol, and for the great success which
it has pleased Him to grant to our labours; and also for confession of our
sinfulness and unworthiness, and to entreat Him to continue His goodness
towards us. Accordingly we met last evening, and continued together from
seven o'clock till half-past twelve. About four hundred individuals, or
more, met with us on the occasion.
January 3. This evening, from six to a quarter past ten, we conversed
with inquirers. After we had seen twelve, we had to send away six. There
were several fresh cases of conversion among them. The work of the Lord is
still going on among us. One of the individuals, who has lately been
brought to the knowledge of the truth, used to say in his unconverted
state, when he was tempted not to go to the chapel,--"I will go; the Lord
may bless me one day, and soften my hard heart. "--His expectation has not
come to nothing.
January 9. Brother Craik and I have preached during these eighteen
months, once a month, at Brislington, a village near Bristol, but have not
seen any fruit of our labours there. This led me, today, very earnestly to
pray to the Lord for the conversion of sinners in that place. I was also,
in the chapel, especially led to pray again about this, and asked the Lord
in particular that He would be pleased to convert, at least, one soul this
evening, that we might have a little encouragement. I preached with much
help, and I hope there has been good done this evening. [The Lord did
according to my request. There was, that evening, a young man brought to
the knowledge of the truth.]
January 13. The Lord verified in our experience the truths which I had
preached last evening in speaking on "Hast thou not made an hedge about
him, and about his house, and about all that he hath, on every side?" Job
i. 10. Thieves attempted to break into Gideon Chapel. They had broken it
open, but were either smitten with blindness, so as not to see a certain
door which had been left unlocked, or were disturbed before accomplishing
their design; for there was nothing missing.
January 14. I was greatly tried by the difficulty of fixing upon a text,
from which to preach, on the morning of October 20, and at last preached
without enjoyment. Today I heard of a NINTH instance in which this very
sermon has been blessed. May my brethren in the ministry of the Word be
encouraged by this to go quietly, yet prayerfully, forward in the work of
the Lord!
January 31. This evening a Dorcas Society was formed among the sisters in
communion with us, but not according to the manner in which we found one
when we came to Bristol; for as we have dismissed all teachers from the
Sunday School who were not believers, so now believing females only will
meet together to make clothes for the poor. The being mixed up with
unbelievers had not only proved a barrier to spiritual conversation among
the sisters, but must have been also injurious to both parties in several
respects. One sister, now united to us in fellowship, acknowledged that
the being connected with the Dorcas Society, previous to her conversion,
had been, in a measure, the means of keeping her in security; as she
thought, that, by helping on such like things, she might gain heaven at
last. Oh that the saints in faithful love, according to the word of God,
(2 Cor. vi. 14-18) might be more separated, in all spiritual matters, from
unbelievers, and not be unequally yoked together with them!
February 12. I prayed little, read little of the Word, and laboured
little to day. On the whole an unprofitable day. May the Lord in mercy
give me fervency of spirit!
February 19. Brother Craik preached this evening on Mark iv. 30-41, and
was enabled to give out precious truths. Oh that I did feed more upon
them! For several weeks I have had very little real communion with the
Lord. I long for it. I am cold. I have little love to the Lord. But I am
not, yea, I cannot be satisfied with such a state of heart. Oh that once
more I might be brought to fervency of spirit, and that thus it might
continue with me forever! I long to go home that I maybe with the Lord,
and that I may love Him with all my heart. I fear that the Lord will
chastise me at the time of my dear wife's confinement. Lord Jesus, take
Thy miserable sinful servant soon to Thyself, that I may serve Thee
better! Within the last week I have repeatedly set out, as it were,
afresh; but soon, very soon, all has come again to nothing. The Lord alone
can help me. Oh that it might please Him to bring me into a more spiritual
state!
February 20. By the mercy of God I was today melted into tears on account
of my state of heart. Oh that it might please the Lord to bring me into a
more spiritual state! February 21. Through the help of the Lord I am
rather in a better state of heart than for some time past.--I was led this
morning to form a plan for establishing, upon scriptural principles, an
Institution for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad. I trust this
matter is of God.--This evening we had again, from six to half-past ten, a
meeting with inquirers. The work of the Lord is going on among us as much
as ever. Oh that our hearts might overflow with gratitude! Even after we
were worn out to the utmost, we could not see all, but had to send away
several individuals.
February 25. The inquiries were so many yesterday, that though we
conversed more than four hours with them, we had to appoint another
meeting for today, and saw again several from two till five. I was led
again this day to pray about the forming of a new Missionary Institution,
and felt still more confirmed that we should do so.
[Some readers may ask why we formed a new Institution for the spread of
the Gospel, and why we did not unite with some of the religious societies,
already in existence, seeing that there are several Missionary-, Bible-,
Tract-, and School Societies. I give, therefore, our reasons, in order to
show, that nothing but the desire to maintain a good conscience led us to
act as we did. For as, by the grace of God, we acknowledged the word of
God as the only rule of action for the disciples of the Lord Jesus, we
found, in comparing the then existing religious Societies with the word of
God, that they departed so far from it, that we could not be united with
them, and yet maintain a good conscience. I only mention here the
following points.
1. The end which these religious societies propose to themselves, and
which is constantly put before their members, is, that the world will
gradually become better and better, and that at last the whole world will
be converted. To this end there is constantly reference made to the
passage in Habakkuk ii. 14. "For the earth shall be filled with the
knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea," or the
one in Isaiah xi. 9, "For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the
Lord, as the waters cover the sea." But that these passages can have no
reference to the present dispensation, but to the one which will commence
with the return of the Lord, that in the present dispensation things will
not become spiritually better, but rather worse, and that in the present
dispensation it is not the whole world that will be converted, but only a
people gathered out from among the Gentiles for the Lord, is clear from
many passages of the divine testimony, of which I only refer to the
following: Matt. xiii. 24-30, and verse 36-43, 2 Tim. iii. 1-13, Acts. xv.
14.
A hearty desire for the conversion of sinners, and earnest prayer for it
to the Lord, is quite scriptural; but it is unscriptural to expect the
conversion of the whole world. Such an end we could not propose to
ourselves in the service of the Lord.
2. But that which is worse, is the connexion of those religious societies
with the world, which is completely contrary to the word of God (2 Cor.
vi. 14-18). In temporal things the children of God need, whilst they
remain here on earth, to make use of the world; but when the work to be
done requires, that those who attend to it should be possessed of
spiritual life (of which unbelievers are utterly destitute), the children
of God are bound, by their loyalty to their Lord, entirely to refrain from
association with the unregenerate. But alas! The connexion with the world
is but too marked in these religious societies; for every one who pays a
guinea, or, in some societies, half-a-guinea, is considered as a member.
Although such an individual may live in sin; although he may manifest to
every one that he does not know the Lord Jesus; if only the guinea or the
half-guinea be paid, he is considered a member, and has a right as such to
vote. Moreover, whoever pays a larger sum, for instance, £10. or £20. can
be, in many societies, a member for life, however openly sinful his life
should be for the time, or should became afterwards. Surely, such things
aught not to be!
3. The means which are made use of in these religious societies, to
obtain money for the work of the Lord, are also, in other respects,
unscriptural; for it is a most common case to ask the unconverted for
money, which even Abraham would not have done (Genesis xiv. 21-24): and
how much less should we do it, who are not only forbidden to have
fellowship with unbelievers in all such matters (2 Cor. vi. 14-18), but
who are also in fellowship with the Father and the Son, and can therefore
obtain everything from the Lord which we possibly can need in His service,
without being obliged to go to the unconverted world! How altogether
differently the first disciples acted in this respect, we learn from 3
John 7.
4. Not merely, however, in these particulars is there a connexion with
the world in these religious societies; but it is not a rare thing for
even Committee Members (the individuals who manage the affairs of the
societies) to be manifestly unconverted persons, if not open enemies to
the truth; and this is suffered because they are rich, or of influence, as
it is called.
5. It is a most common thing to endeavour to obtain for patrons and
presidents of these societies, and for chairmen at the public meetings,
persons of rank or wealth to attract the public. Never once have I known a
case of a POOR, but very devoted, wise, and experienced servant of Christ
being invited to fill the chair at such public meetings. Surely, the
Galilean fishermen, who were apostles, or our Lord Himself, who was called
the carpenter, would not have been called to this office, according to
these principles. These things ought not so to be among the disciples of
the Lord Jesus, who should not judge with reference to a person's fitness
for service in the Church of Christ by the position he fills in the world,
or by the wealth he possesses!
6. Almost all these societies contract debts, so that it is a
comparatively rare case to read a Report of any of them, without finding
that they have expended more than they have received, which, however, is
contrary both to the spirit and to the letter of the New Testament. (Rom.
xiii. 8).
Now, although brother Craik and I were ready, by the grace of God,
heartily to acknowledge that there are not only many true children of God
connected with these religious societies, but that the Lord has also
blessed their efforts in many respects, notwithstanding the existence of
these and other principles and practices which we judged to be
unscriptural, yet it appeared to us to be His will, that we should be
entirely separate from these societies, (though we should be considered as
singular persons, or though it should even appear that we despised other
persons, or would elevate ourselves above them), in order that, by the
blessing of God, we might direct the attention of the children of God in
these societies to their unscriptural practices; and we would rather be
entirely unconnected with these societies than act contrary to the Holy
Scriptures. We therefore separated entirely from them, although we
remained united in brotherly love with individual believers belonging to
them; and would by no means judge them for remaining in connexion with
them, if they do not see that such things are contrary to Scripture. But
seeing them to be so ourselves, we could not with a clear conscience
remain. After we had thus gone on for some time, we considered that it
would have an injurious tendency upon the brethren among whom we laboured,
and also be at variance with the spirit of the Gospel of Christ, if we did
nothing at all for Missionary objects, the circulation of the Holy
Scriptures, Tracts, etc.; and we were therefore led for these and other
reasons to do something for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad,
however small the beginning might be. This was the origin of the
Institution, of which the following part of my Narrative speaks.]
March 5. This evening, at a public meeting, brother Craik and I stated
the principles on which we intend to carry on the institution which we
propose to establish for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad.
There was nothing outwardly influential, either in the number of people
present, or in our speeches. May the Lord graciously be pleased to grant
His blessing upon the institution, which will be called "The Scriptural
Knowledge Institutions for Home and Abroad."
I. THE PRINCIPLES OF THE INSTITUTION.
1. We consider every believer bound, in one way or other, to help the
cause of Christ, and we have Scriptural warrant for expecting the Lord's
blessing upon our work of faith and labour of love: and although,
according to Matt. xiii. 24-43, 2 Tim. iii. 1-13, and many other passages,
the world will not be converted before the coming of our Lord Jesus,
still, while He tarries; all Scriptural means ought to be employed for the
ingathering of the elect of God.
2. The Lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the patronage of the
world; i.e., we never intend to ask unconverted persons of rank or wealth
to countenance this Institution, because this, we consider, would be
dishonourable to the Lord. In the name of our God we set up our banners,
Ps. xx. 5; He alone shall be our Patron, and if He helps us we shall
prosper, and if He is not on our side, we shall not succeed.
3. We do not mean, to ask unbelievers for money (2 Cor. vi. 14-18);
though we do not feel ourselves warranted to refuse their contributions,
if they, of their own accord should offer them. Acts xxviii. 2-10.
4. We reject altogether the help of unbelievers in managing or carrying
on the affairs of the Institution. 2 Cor, vi. 14-18.
5. We intend never to enlarge the field of labour by contracting debts
(Rom. xiii. 8), and afterwards appealing to the Church of Christ for help,
because this we consider to be opposed both to the letter and the spirit
of the New Testament; but in secret prayer, God helping us, we shall carry
the wants of the Institution to the Lord, and act according to the means
that God shall give.
6. We do not mean to reckon the success of the Institution by the amount
of money given, or the number of Bibles distributed, &c, but by the Lord's
blessing upon the work (Zech. iv. 6); and we expect this, in the
proportion in which He shall help us to wait upon Him in prayer.
7. While we would avoid aiming after needless singularity, we desire to
go on simply according to Scripture, without compromising the truth; at
the same time thankfully receiving any instruction which experienced
Believers, after prayer, upon Scriptural ground, may have to give us
concerning the Institution.
II. THE OBJECTS OF THE INSTITUTION ARE:
1. To assist Day-Schools, Sunday-Schools, and Adult-Schools, in which
instruction is given upon Scriptural principles, and, as far as the Lord
may give the means, and supply us with suitable teachers, and in other
respects make our path plain, to establish Schools of this kind.
a. By Day-Schools upon Scriptural principles, we understand Day Schools
in which the teachers are godly persons,--in which the way of salvation is
scripturally pointed out,--and in which no instruction is given opposed to
the principles of the gospel.
b. Sunday-Schools, in which all the teachers are believers, and in which
the Holy Scriptures alone are the foundation of instruction,--are such
only as the Institution assists with the supply of Bibles, Testaments,
&c.; for we consider it unscriptural, that any persons, who do not profess
to know the Lord themselves, should be allowed to give religious
instruction.
c. The Institution does not assist any Adult-Schools with the supply of
Bibles, Testaments, Spelling Books, &c., except the teachers are believers.
2. To circulate the Holy Scriptures.
We sell Bibles and Testaments to poor persons at a reduced price. But
while we, in general, think it better that the Scriptures should be sold,
and not given altogether gratis, still, in cases of extreme poverty, we
think it right to give, without payment, a cheap edition.
3. The third object of this Institution is, to aid Missionary efforts.
We desire to assist those Missionaries whose proceedings appear to be
most according to the Scriptures. It is proposed to give such a portion of
the amount of the donations to each of the fore-mentioned objects, as the
Lord may direct; but if none of the objects should claim a more particular
assistance, to lay out an equal portion upon each; yet so, that if any
donor desires to give for one of the objects exclusively, the money shall
be appropriated accordingly.
March 7. Today we have only one shilling left. Many times also in Bristol
our purse has been either empty or nearly so, though we have not been
brought quite so low as it regards provisions, as was sometimes the case
at Teignmouth. This evening, when we came home from our work, we found a
brother, our tailor, waiting for us, who brought a new suit of clothes
both for brother Craik and me, which a brother, whose name was not to be
mentioned, had ordered for us. March 8. Our brother brought us this
evening also, from the same friend, a new hat for each of us.
March 10. Some time since, a brother who had been brought to the
knowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality, having been previously
guilty of habitual drunkenness and other open sins, requested with tears
our prayers on behalf of his wife, who, like himself formerly, was still
given to drinking, and who grew worse and worse. About ten days, after he
had spoken to us, it pleased God to begin a work of grace in her heart, in
answer to the many prayers of her husband, and this evening she was added
to us in fellowship. There have come many instances before us, since we
have been in Bristol, in which unbelieving partners have been given to
believing ones, in answer to their prayers; yea, even such as had
threatened to murder their wives, or leave them, they would still continue
to go to our chapels.
March 19. This afternoon at five, my wife was in much pain, which she
shortly afterwards considered as the token of her hour being near. I
therefore set off to call in a sister, and then I went for the nurse, and
my wife's sister, and our servant, who were at Clifton. The Lord having
graciously speeded all this, I went to Bethesda Chapel, where I had to
preach shortly after. I thought it better to spend the few minutes, which
I had before preaching, in prayer for my wife, than to return home again,
as I should have had to set off directly afterwards, believing that my
mind would be thus more quiet and calm, and that I also might thus help my
dearest wife much more effectually. The Lord most graciously kept me from
excitement and anxiety, so that I went in peace, preached in peace, and
walked home in peace, looking up to Jesus to prepare me for all that might
await me, as I remembered but too well the two former times of my wife's
confinement. I might have asked brother Craik to preach, and have gone
home; but I thought it more honouring the Lord to do His work. In walking
home, the following words were a particular refreshment to me:--
Make you His service your delight,
Your wants shall be His care.
When I came home, I heard the joyful news, that all was over, and that my
dear Mary had been delivered at twenty minutes past eight of a little boy.
Observe! 1. The Lord graciously sent the medical attendant and the nurse
(the latter nearly three miles off), in the right time. 2. The Lord put it
into my heart to honour Him, by preferring the care of His house to that
of my own, and thus He lovingly spared me three painful hours. May He be
pleased to give me grace more than ever to love and serve Him!
March 31. Today the brethren and sisters in communion at Bethesda dined
together, having been invited by a sister; and in the evening the churches
of Gideon and Bethesda took tea together. Both times were refreshing
seasons. At dinner we were together from one till half past three, at tea
from five to nine. Both times we prayed repeatedly, sang hymns, read a
little of the Word, and several brethren spoke of the Lord's dealings with
them.
April 3. Today I have had again much reason to see how weak I am, and how
prone to give way to every sin if I am not kept by God. May He have mercy
upon me, and keep me from bringing an open disgrace upon His holy name! O
wretched man that I am!!
April 14. Brother and sister Craik and ourselves have been living
together hitherto; but now, as the Lord has given to them one child, and
to us two, and there are but six rooms in our house, so that of late dear
brother Craik and I have had repeatedly to go to another house to be
uninterrupted: we came at last to the conclusion, that it would be better
for our souls and the Lord's work that we should separate. April 15. Today
I received from several sisters 25l. towards furnishing a house.
April 23. Yesterday and today I had asked the Lord to send us 20l., that
we might be able to procure a larger stock of Bibles and Testaments than
our small funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution would allow us to
purchase; and this evening a sister, unasked, promised to give us that
sum, adding that she felt a particular pleasure in circulating the Holy
Scriptures, as the simple reading of them had been the means of bringing
her to the knowledge of the Lord.
April 26. We have repeatedly conversed about the name which we should
give to our babe; but, being unsettled about it, and considering that in
all our ways we ought to acknowledge the Lord, I gave myself today to
prayer concerning this matter, and the name Elijah, about which I never
had thought, was particularly, whilst praying, impressed on my mind, and
therefore we intend to name the child Elijah, i. e., my God is Jah,
Jehovah. May the Lord in mercy grant Elijah's spirit and Elijah's blessing
to our little one!
May 4. Today 15l. more was given to me towards furnishing a house. Thus
the Lord has now graciously supplied our need in this particular also. May
13. Today 2l. more was given to us towards furnishing the house, and also
some carpet. May 15. Today we moved into our house, having lived nearly
two years with brother and sister Craik.
June 4. Today a sister called on me, and I felt irritated at her staying,
after having given her to understand that I had but a few minutes time. I
sinned thus against the Lord. Help Thou me, blessed Jesus, in future!