instrumentality, many souls at Teignmouth, Exmouth, Bishopsteignton,
Exeter, Chudleigh, in the neighbourhood of Barnstaple, at Chard, and
elsewhere. The church at Teignmouth increased from eighteen to fifty-one.
IV. The Lord most graciously supplied all my temporal wants during this
period, so that I lacked no good thing.
V. We had unexpectedly received, just before we left Teignmouth, about
£15., else we should not have been able to defray all the expenses
connected with leaving, traveling, &c. By this also the Lord showed His
mind concerning our going to Bristol.
VI. During these two years and five months, since I left London, I have
sinned in many respects, though walking, it may be, in the eyes of the
brethren, very near to God. Indeed, my confession concerning this time
also is, that I have been an unprofitable servant.
The following record will now show to the believing reader how far, what
I have said concerning my persuasion, that it was the will of God that we
should go to Bristol, has been proved by facts.
May 25th, 1832. This evening we arrived in Bristol. May 27. This morning
we received a sovereign, sent to us by a sister residing in Devonshire,
which we take as an earnest that the Lord will provide for us here also.
May 28. When we were going to speak to the brethren, who manage the
temporal affairs of Gideon chapel, about giving up the pew-rents, having
all the seats free, and receiving the free-will offerings through a box, a
matter which was not quite settled on their part, as brother Craik and I
had thought; we found that the Lord had so graciously ordered this matter
for us, that there was not the least objection on the part of these
brethren.
June 4. For several days we have been looking about for lodgings, but
finding none plain and cheap enough, we were led to make this also a
subject of earnest prayer; and now, immediately afterwards, the Lord has
given us such as are suitable. They are the plainest and cheapest we can
find, but still too good for servants of Jesus, as our Master had not
where to lay His head. We pay only 18s. a week for two sitting-rooms and
three bedrooms, coals and attendance. It was particularly difficult to
find cheap furnished lodgings, having five rooms in the same house, which
we need, as brother Craik and we live together. How good is the Lord to
have thus appeared for us, in answer to prayer, and what an encouragement
to commit every thing to Him in prayer!
June 5. Today we had already a testimony of a sinner having been
converted by brother Craik's instrumentality, on the first Lord's day in
April, simply through hearing the text read. [This aged sister lived
eleven years afterwards, during which time her walk was according to the
profession she made. She fell asleep in 1843.] June 7. We have daily fresh
encouragements, and fresh proofs that our being here is of God. June 16.
We saw another instance of conversion through brother Craik's
instrumentality.
June 25. Today it was finally settled to take Bethesda chapel for a
twelvemonth, on condition that a brother at once paid the rent, with the
understanding, that, if the Lord shall bless our labours in that place, so
that believers are gathered together in fellowship, he expects them to
help him; but, if not, that he will pay all. This was the only way in
which we could take the chapel; for we could not think it to be of God to
have had this chapel, though there should have been every prospect of
usefulness, if it had made us in any way debtors. We had tried to obtain a
cheaper meeting-place, but could find none large enough to accommodate the
hearers.
July 6. Today we commenced preaching at Bethesda Chapel. It was a good
day. July 13. Today we heard of the first cases of cholera in Bristol.
July 16. This evening, from six to nine o'clock, we had appointed for
conversing at the vestry, one by one, with individuals, who wished to
speak to us about their souls. There were so many, that we were engaged
from six till twenty minutes past ten.
These meetings we have continued ever since twice a week, or once a week,
or once a fortnight, or once a month, as our strength and time allowed it,
or as they seemed needed. We have found them beneficial in the following
respects:
1. Many persons, on account of timidity, would prefer coming at an
appointed time to the vestry to converse with us, to calling on us in our
own house. 2. The very fact of appointing a time for seeing people, to
converse with them in private concerning the things of eternity, has
brought some, who, humanly speaking, never would have called on us under
other circumstances; yea, it has brought even those who, though they
thought they were concerned about the things of God, yet were completely
ignorant; and thus we have had an opportunity of speaking to them. 3.
These meetings have also been a great encouragement to ourselves in the
work, for often, when we thought that such and such expositions of the
Word had done no good at all, it was, through these meetings, found to be
the reverse; and likewise, when our hands were hanging down, we have been
afresh encouraged to go forward in the work of the Lord, and to continue
sowing the seed in hope, by seeing at these meetings fresh cases, in which
the Lord had condescended to use us as instruments, particularly as in
this way instances have sometimes occurred in which individuals have
spoken to us about the benefit which they derived from our ministry, not
only a few months before, but even as long as two, three, and four years
before.
For the above reasons I would particularly recommend to other servants of
Christ, especially to those who live in large towns, if they have not
already introduced a similar plan, to consider whether it may not be well
for them also to set apart such times for seeing inquirers. Those
meetings, however, require much prayer, to be enabled to speak aright, to
all those who come, according to their different need; and one is led
continually to feel that one is not sufficient of one's self for these
things, but that our sufficiency can be alone of God. These meetings also
have been by far the most wearing out part of all our work, though at the
same time the most refreshing.
July 18. Today I spent the whole morning in the vestry, to procure a
quiet season. This has now for some time been the only way, on account of
the multiplicity of engagements, to make sure of time for prayer, reading
the Word and meditation. July 19. I spent from half-past nine till one in
the vestry, and had real communion with the Lord. The Lord be praised, who
has put it into my mind to use the vestry for a place of retirement!
August 5. When all our money was gone today, the Lord again graciously
supplied our wants. August 6. This afternoon, from two till after six,
brother Craik and I spent in the vestry, to see the inquirers. We have had
again, in seeing several instances of blessing upon our labours, abundant
reason brought before us to praise the Lord for having sent us to Bristol.
August 13, 1832. This evening one brother and four sisters united with
brother Craik and me in church fellowship at Bethesda, without any rules,
desiring only to act as the Lord shall be pleased to give us light through
His word.
August 14. This day we set apart for prayer concerning the cholera, and
had three meetings.
August 17. This morning, from six to eight, we had a prayer meeting at
Gideon, on account of the cholera. Between two and three hundred people
were present. [We continued these meetings every morning, as long as the
cholera raged in Bristol, and afterwards changed them into prayer meetings
for the church at large, so that we had them for about four months.]
August 24. This morning a sister in the Lord, within fifty yards of our
lodging, was taken ill in the cholera, and died this afternoon. Her
husband, also a believer, has been attacked, and may be near death. The
ravages of this disease are becoming daily more and more fearful. We have
reason to believe that great numbers die daily in this city. Who may be
the next, God alone knows. I have never realised so much the nearness of
death. Except the Lord keep us this night, we shall be no more in the land
of the living tomorrow. Just now, ten in the evening, the funeral bell is
ringing, and has been ringing the greater part of this evening. It rings
almost all the day. Into Thine hands, O Lord, I commend myself! Here is
Thy poor worthless child! If this night I should be taken in the cholera,
my only hope and trust is in the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for the
remission of all my many sins. I have been thoroughly washed in it, and
the righteousness of God covers me.--As yet there have not been any of the
saints, among whom brother Craik and I labour, taken in the cholera. [Only
one of them fell asleep afterwards in consequence of this disease. I would
observe, that though brother Craik and I visited many cholera cases, by
day and by night, yet the Lord most graciously preserved us and our
families from it.]
September 17. This morning the Lord, in addition to all His other
mercies, has given us a little girl, who, with her mother, are doing well.
September 21. On account of the birth of our little one, and brother
Craik's intended marriage, it is needful that we change our lodgings, as
they will now be too small for us, because we shall want one room more.
Just when we were thinking about this, the house belonging to Gideon
chapel, which had been let for three years, was unexpectedly given up by
the tenant, and it was now offered to us by the church. We said we could
not think of going into it, as we had no furniture, and no money to buy
any. The brother who proposed our going into that house, however, replied
that the brethren would gladly furnish it for us, to which we objected,
fearing it would burthen them. When, however, the matter was repeatedly
mentioned, and when it was particularly expressed that it would be a
pleasure to the brethren to furnish the house, we began to consider the
subject in prayer, and we saw no scriptural objection to accept this
kindness, provided the furniture was very plain. This was promised. The
house was furnished, yet the love of the brethren had done it more
expensively than we wished it.
September 23. Today an individual desired publicly to return thanks to
the Lord, for having been supported under the loss of a child, mother,
brother, and wife, in the cholera, within one month.
September 25. Last night brother Craik and I were called out of bed to a
poor woman ill in the cholera. She was suffering intensely. We never saw a
case so distressing. We could hardly say any thing to her on account of
her loud cries. I felt as if the cholera was coming upon me. We commended
ourselves into the hands of the Lord when we came home, and He mercifully
preserved us. The poor woman died today.
Oct. 1. A meeting for inquirers this afternoon from two to five. Many
more are convinced of sin through brother Craik's preaching than my own.
This circumstance led me to inquire into the reasons, which are probably
these:--1. That brother Craik is more spiritually minded than I am. 2.
That he prays more earnestly for the conversion of sinners than I do. 3.
That he more frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his public
ministrations, than I do.--This led me to more frequent and earnest prayer
for the conversion of sinners, and to address them more frequently as
such. The latter had never been intentionally left undone, but it had not
been so frequently brought to my mind as to that of brother Craik. Since
then, the cases in which it has pleased the Lord to use me as an
instrument of conversion have been quite as many as those in which brother
Craik has been used. May the Lord be pleased to use this as a means to
lead any of His servants, who may not have acted according to these two
last points, to seek to do so, and may He graciously enable me to do so
more abundantly!
October 3. This day we set apart as a day of thanksgiving, the cholera
having decreased. Oct. 5. Prayer meeting this morning as usual. The
cholera is very much decreasing, and the number at our morning prayer
meetings likewise.--Hundreds of people were stirred up at that time, but
many of them, when the judgment of God had passed away, cared no longer
about their souls. Yet a goodly number, who were first led through the
instrumentality of the cholera to seek the Lord, are now breaking bread
with us, and are walking in the fear of the Lord. How merciful in its
results has this heavy judgment been to many!
January 4, 1833. This morning we received letters from Bagdad. The
missionary brethren there invite brother Craik and me to come and join
them in their labours. The invitation was accompanied by drafts to the
amount of £200., for our traveling expenses. What wilt Thou have me to do,
gracious Lord? I do not know what may be the Lord's mind. There are
points which ought to be much considered and prayed over: There are German
villages not very far from Bagdad, where I might labour; upon our going,
that of certain other individuals may depend; the brethren at Bagdad are
of one mind respecting our going out; good may be done on the way; the
going out without any visible support from a society, simply trusting in
the Lord for the supply of our temporal wants, would be a testimony for
Him; I have had for years a feeling as if one day I should go out as a
missionary to the heathen or Mahomedans; and lastly, the hands of the
brethren at Bagdad may be strengthened; these are the points, which must
appear of no sufficient weight in comparison with the importance of our
work here, before I can determine not to go.
January 5. I considered with brother Craik about going to Bagdad. We see
nothing clearly. If the Lord will have me to go, here I am. January 7. I
spent again some time in prayer, respecting our going to Bagdad, and
examined more fully into it. January 8. I had from half-past five till
eight this morning to myself in prayer and reading the Word. I prayed
then, and repeatedly besides this day, respecting our going to Bagdad. I
wrote also a letter to some believers at and near Barnstaple, to ask their
prayers concerning this matter. I do not see more clearly than I did
before. January 9. I again asked the Lord concerning Bagdad, but see
nothing clearly respecting it. I told the Lord I should stay at my post,
unless He Himself should most evidently take me away, and I did not feel
afterwards my remaining here to be against His will. January 14. I feel
more and more satisfied that it is not of the Lord that I should go to
Bagdad. January 19. For some days past I have been reading brother Groves'
journal of his residence at Bagdad, both for the sake of information
respecting his position there, and also, if it please the Lord, that He
may use this as a means to show me clearly wether I should go or stay.
Blessed be His name that I have no desire of my own in this matter!
[Forty-seven years have since passed away, and I think I may say this
day still, according to the best of my knowledge, I had no desire of my
own in this matter; but I never saw it to be the Lord's will to leave the
work which He Himself had so evidently given me.]
February 9. I read a part of Franke's life. The Lord graciously help me
to follow him, as far as he followed Christ. The greater part of the
Lord's people whom we know in Bristol are poor, and if the Lord were to
give us grace to live more as this dear man of God did, we might draw much
more than we have as yet done out of our Heavenly Father's bank, for our
poor brethren and sisters.
May 27. Today the two churches, assembling at Gideon and Bethesda, met
together at tea.--These meetings we have often repeated, and found them
profitable on several accounts. 1. They give a testimony to the world of
the love of the brethren, by rich and poor meeting thus together to
partake of a meal. 2. Such meetings may be instrumental in uniting the
saints more and more together. 3. They give us a sweet foretaste of our
meeting together at the marriage supper of the Lamb.--At these meetings we
pray and sing together, and any brother has an opportunity to speak what
may tend to the edification of the rest.
May 28. This morning, whilst sitting in my room, the distress of several
brethren and sisters was brought to my mind, and I said to myself, "Oh
that it might please the Lord to give me means to help them!" About an
hour afterwards I received £60. from a brother, whom up to this day I
never saw, and who then lived, as he does still, at a distance of several
thousand miles. This shows how the Lord can provide in any way for His
people, and that He is not confined to places. Oh that my heart might
overflow with gratitude to the Lord! [Since the first edition was printed,
I have become personally acquainted with the donor.]
May 29. Review of the last twelve months, since we have been in Bristol,
as it regards the fruits of our labours. 1. It has pleased the Lord to
gather a church, through our instrumentality, at Bethesda, which is
increased to 60 in number, and there have been added to Gideon church 49;
therefore the total number of those added to us within the year, has been
109. 2. There have been converted through our instrumentality, so far as
we have heard and can judge respecting the individuals, 65. 3. Many
backsliders have been reclaimed, and many of the children of God have been
encouraged and strengthened in the way of truth. What clear proofs that we
were not suffered to be mistaken, as it regards our coming to Bristol.
June 12. I felt, this morning, that we might do something for the souls
of those poor boys and girls, and grown-up or aged people, to whom we have
daily given bread for some time past, in establishing a school for them,
reading the Scriptures to them, and speaking to them about the Lord. As
far as I see at present, it appears well to me to take a place in the
midst of those poor streets near us, to collect the children in the
morning about eight, giving them each a piece of bread for breakfast, and
then to teach them to read, or to read the Scriptures to them, for about
an hour and a half. Afterwards the aged, or grown-up people, may have
their appointed time, when bread may be given to them, and the Scriptures
read and expounded to them, for, perhaps, half an hour. About similar
things I have now and then thought these two years.--There was bread given
to about 30 or 40 persons today; and though the number should increase, in
the above way, to 200 or more, surely our gracious and rich Lord can give
us bread for them also. No sooner had these thoughts arisen, and I
communicated them to my dear brother Craik, than I was also directed to a
place where the people may be assembled, holding comfortably 150 children.
We went about it, and may have it at the rent of 10l., yearly. The Lord
directed us, also, to an aged brother as a teacher, and he gladly accepted
of our offer. Surely, this matter seems to be of God. Moreover, as I have
just now a good deal of money left of the 60l., we have wherewith to
begin; and if it be the Lord's will, and if He will accept it, I am
willing to lay out at once 20l. of it in this way, yea, all that is left,
if He will but speak; and, by the time that this is gone, He can send
more. O Lord, if this matter be of Thee, then prosper it! [This desire was
not carried out. As far as I remember, the chief obstacle in the way was a
pressure of work coming upon brother Craik and me just about that time.
Shortly after, the number of the poor who came for bread increased to
between 60 and 80 a day, whereby our neighbours were molested, as the
beggars were lying about in troops in the streets, on account of which we
were obliged to tell them no longer to come for bread. But though, at this
time, this matter was not carried out, the thought was, from time to time,
revived and strengthened in my mind, and it ultimately issued in the
formation of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, and in the
establishment of the Orphan-Houses.]
June 22. A brother sent a hat to brother Craik, and one to me, as a token
of his love and gratitude, like a thank-offering, as he says. This is now
the fourth hat which the Lord has kindly sent me successively, whenever,
or even before, I needed one. Between August 19th and 27th was sent to us,
by several individuals, a considerable quantity of fruit. How very kind of
the Lord, not merely to send us the necessaries of life, but even such
things as, on account of the weakness of our bodies, or the want of
appetite, we might have desired! Thus the Lord has sent wine or porter
when we required it; or, when there was want of appetite, and, on account
of the poverty of our brethren, we should not have considered it right to
spend money upon such things, He has kindly sent fowls, game, &c., to suit
our appetite. We have, indeed, not served a hard Master. I am quite
ashamed when I still, sometimes, find my heart dissatisfied, or, at least,
not grateful as it ought to be.
December 17. This evening brother Craik and I took tea with a family, of
whom five have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through our
instrumentality. [When we took tea with them again, about a twelvemonth
afterwards, the number had increased to seven.] As an encouragement to
brethren who may desire to preach the Gospel in a language not their own,
I would mention, that the first member of this family who was converted,
came merely out of curiosity to hear my foreign accent, some words having
been mentioned to her which I did not pronounce properly. Scarcely had she
entered the chapel, when she was led to see herself a sinner. Her
intention had been, to stay only a few minutes. But she felt herself as if
bound to the seat whilst I was speaking, and remained to the close of the
meeting. She then went hastily home, instead of pursuing her pleasures,
washed the paint off her face, stayed at home that Lord's day, till the
meeting began again, and from that day was truly converted. Having found
the Lord, she entreated her brothers and sisters to go and hear the Gospel
preached, who, in doing so, were likewise converted. May my dear
missionary brethren always be mindful that the Lord can bless a few broken
sentences, however badly the words are pronounced, as a means in the
conversion of sinners!
December 31, 1833. In looking over my journal, I find:--I. That at least
260 persons (according to the number of names we have marked down, but
there have been many more,) have come to converse with us about the
concerns of their souls. Out of these, 153 have been added to us in
fellowship these last eighteen months, 60 of whom have been brought to the
knowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality. Besides these 60, five
have fallen asleep before they were received into communion. In addition
to these, there are many among the inquirers and candidates for
fellowship, whom we have reason to believe God has given to us as seals to
our ministry in this city. Some also were converted through our
instrumentality who are in fellowship with other churches in this city.
II. In looking over the Lord's dealings with me as to temporal things, I
find that He has sent me, during the past year,--
1. In freewill offerings through the boxes, as my part £152 14s. 5 1/4d.
2. Presents in money given to me £25 1s. 3d.
3. Presents in clothes and provisions worth at least £20 0s. 0d.
Altogether from the brethren in Bristol £197 15s. 8 1/4d.
4. A brother sent me, from a distance of several thousand miles £60 0s. 0d.
5. We live free of rent, which is worth for our part £10 0s. 0d.
Totaling £267 15s 8 1/4d.