"Having ascertained my purpose, it was requisite to search out the means
by which I might effect it. These were not clearly or readily suggested.
The more I contemplated my project, the more numerous and arduous its
difficulties appeared. I had no associates in my undertaking. A due
regard to my safety, and the unextinguished sense of honour, deterred me
from seeking auxiliaries and co-agents. The esteem of mankind was the
spring of all my activity, the parent of all my virtue and all my vice.
To preserve this, it was necessary that my guilty projects should have
neither witness nor partaker.
"I quickly discovered that to execute this scheme demanded time,
application, and money, none of which my present situation would permit
me to devote to it. At first it appeared that an attainable degree of
skill and circumspection would enable me to arrive, by means of
counterfeit bills, to the pinnacle of affluence and honour. My error was
detected by a closer scrutiny, and I finally saw nothing in this path
but enormous perils and insurmountable impediments.
"Yet what alternative was offered me? To maintain myself by the labour
of my hands, to perform any toilsome or prescribed task, was
incompatible with my nature. My habits debarred me from country
occupations. My pride regarded as vile and ignominious drudgery any
employment which the town could afford. Meanwhile, my wants were as
urgent as ever, and my funds were exhausted.
"There are few, perhaps, whose external situation resembled mine, who
would have found in it any thing but incitements to industry and
invention. A thousand methods of subsistence, honest but laborious,
were at my command, but to these I entertained an irreconcilable
aversion. Ease and the respect attendant upon opulence I was willing to
purchase at the price of ever-wakeful suspicion and eternal remorse;
but, even at this price, the purchase was impossible.
"The desperateness of my condition became hourly more apparent. The
further I extended my view, the darker grew the clouds which hung over
futurity. Anguish and infamy appeared to be the inseparable conditions
of my existence. There was one mode of evading the evils that impended.
To free myself from self-upbraiding and to shun the persecutions of my
fortune was possible only by shaking off life itself.
"One evening, as I traversed the bank of the creek, these dismal
meditations were uncommonly intense. They at length terminated in a
resolution to throw myself into the stream. The first impulse was to
rush instantly to my death; but the remembrance of papers, lying at my
lodgings, which might unfold more than I desired to the curiosity of
survivors, induced me to postpone this catastrophe till the next
morning.
"My purpose being formed, I found my heart lightened of its usual
weight. By you it will be thought strange, but it is nevertheless true,
that I derived from this new prospect not only tranquillity but
cheerfulness. I hastened home. As soon as I entered, my landlord
informed me that a person had been searching for me in my absence. This
was an unexampled incident, and foreboded me no good. I was strongly
persuaded that my visitant had been led hither not by friendly but
hostile purposes. This persuasion was confirmed by the description of
the stranger's guise and demeanour given by my landlord. My fears
instantly recognised the image of Watson, the man by whom I had been so
eminently benefited, and whose kindness I had compensated by the ruin of
his sister and the confusion of his family.
"An interview with this man was less to be endured than to look upon the
face of an avenging deity. I was determined to avoid this interview,
and, for this end, to execute my fatal purpose within the hour. My
papers were collected with a tremulous hand, and consigned to the
flames. I then bade my landlord inform all visitants that I should not
return till the next day, and once more hastened towards the river.
"My way led past the inn where one of the stages from Baltimore was
accustomed to stop. I was not unaware that Watson had possibly been
brought in the coach which had recently arrived, and which now stood
before the door of the inn. The danger of my being descried or
encountered by him as I passed did not fail to occur. This was to be
eluded by deviating from the main street.
"Scarcely had I turned a corner for this purpose when I was accosted by
a young man whom I knew to be an inhabitant of the town, but with whom I
had hitherto had no intercourse but what consisted in a transient
salutation. He apologized for the liberty of addressing me, and, at the
same time, inquired if I understood the French language.
"Being answered in the affirmative, he proceeded to tell me that in the
stage, just arrived, had come a passenger, a youth who appeared to be
French, who was wholly unacquainted with our language, and who had been
seized with a violent disease.
"My informant had felt compassion for the forlorn condition of the
stranger, and had just been seeking me at my lodgings, in hope that my
knowledge of French would enable me to converse with the sick man, and
obtain from him a knowledge of his situation and views.
"The apprehensions I had precipitately formed were thus removed, and I
readily consented to perform this service. The youth was, indeed, in a
deplorable condition. Besides the pains of his disease, he was
overpowered by dejection. The innkeeper was extremely anxious for the
removal of his guest. He was by no means willing to sustain the trouble
and expense of a sick or a dying man, for which it was scarcely probable
that he should ever be reimbursed. The traveller had no baggage, and his
dress betokened the pressure of many wants.
"My compassion for this stranger was powerfully awakened. I was in
possession of a suitable apartment, for which I had no power to pay the
rent that was accruing; but my inability in this respect was unknown,
and I might enjoy my lodgings unmolested for some weeks. The fate of
this youth would be speedily decided, and I should be left at liberty to
execute my first intentions before my embarrassments should be visibly
increased.
"After a moment's pause, I conducted the stranger to my home, placed him
in my own bed, and became his nurse. His malady was such as is known in
the tropical islands by the name of the yellow or malignant fever, and
the physician who was called speedily pronounced his case desperate.
"It was my duty to warn him of the death that was hastening, and to
promise the fulfilment of any of his wishes not inconsistent with my
present situation. He received my intelligence with fortitude, and
appeared anxious to communicate some information respecting his own
state. His pangs and his weakness scarcely allowed him to be
intelligible. From his feeble efforts and broken narrative I collected
thus much concerning his family and fortune.
"His father's name was Vincentio Lodi. From a merchant at Leghorn, he
had changed himself into a planter in the island of Guadaloupe. His son
had been sent, at an early age, for the benefits of education, to
Europe. The young Vincentio was, at length, informed by his father,
that, being weary of his present mode of existence, he had determined to
sell his property and transport himself to the United States. The son
was directed to hasten home, that he might embark, with his father, on
this voyage.
"The summons was cheerfully obeyed. The youth, on his arrival at the
island, found preparation making for the funeral of his father. It
appeared that the elder Lodi had flattered one of his slaves with the
prospect of his freedom, but had, nevertheless, included this slave in
the sale that he had made of his estate. Actuated by revenge, the slave
assassinated Lodi in the open street, and resigned himself, without a
struggle, to the punishment which the law had provided for such a deed.
"The property had been recently transferred, and the price was now
presented to young Vincentio by the purchaser. He was by no means
inclined to adopt his father's project, and was impatient to return with
his inheritance to France. Before this could be done, the conduct of his
father had rendered a voyage to the Continent indispensable.
"Lodi had a daughter, whom, a few weeks previous to his death, he had
intrusted to an American captain for whom he had contracted a
friendship. The vessel was bound to Philadelphia; but the conduct she
was to pursue, and the abode she was to select, on her arrival, were
known only to the father, whose untimely death involved the son in
considerable uncertainty with regard to his sister's fate. His anxiety
on this account induced him to seize the first conveyance that offered.
In a short time he landed at Baltimore.
"As soon as he recovered from the fatigues of his voyage, he prepared to
go to Philadelphia. Thither his baggage was immediately sent under the
protection of a passenger and countryman. His money consisted in
Portuguese gold, which, in pursuance of advice, he had changed into
bank-notes. He besought me, in pathetic terms, to search out his sister,
whose youth and poverty, and ignorance of the language and manners of
the country, might expose her to innumerable hardships. At the same
time, he put a pocket-book and small volume into my hand, indicating, by
his countenance and gestures, his desire that I would deliver them to
his sister.
"His obsequies being decently performed, I had leisure to reflect upon
the change in my condition which this incident had produced. In the
pocket-book were found bills to the amount of twenty thousand dollars.
The volume proved to be a manuscript, written by the elder Lodi in
Italian, and contained memoirs of the ducal house of Visconti, from whom
the writer believed himself to have lineally descended.
"Thus had I arrived, by an avenue so much beyond my foresight, at the
possession of wealth. The evil which impelled me to the brink of
suicide, and which was the source, though not of all, yet of the larger
portion, of my anguish, was now removed. What claims to honour or to
ease were consequent on riches were, by an extraordinary fortune, now
conferred upon me.
"Such, for a time, were my new-born but transitory raptures. I forgot
that this money was not mine. That it had been received, under every
sanction of fidelity, for another's use. To retain it was equivalent to
robbery. The sister of the deceased was the rightful claimant; it was my
duty to search her out, and perform my tacit but sacred obligations, by
putting the whole into her possession.
"This conclusion was too adverse to my wishes not to be strenuously
combated. I asked what it was that gave man the power of ascertaining
the successor to his property. During his life, he might transfer the
actual possession; but, if vacant at his death, he into whose hands
accident should cast it was the genuine proprietor. It is true, that the
law had sometimes otherwise decreed, but in law there was no validity
further than it was able, by investigation and punishment, to enforce
its decrees: but would the law extort this money from me?
"It was rather by gesture than by words that the will of Lodi was
imparted. It was the topic of remote inferences and vague conjecture
rather than of explicit and unerring declarations. Besides, if the lady
were found, would not prudence dictate the reservation of her fortune to
be administered by me, for her benefit? Of this her age and education
had disqualified herself. It was sufficient for the maintenance of both.
She would regard me as her benefactor and protector. By supplying all
her wants and watching over her safety without apprizing her of the
means by which I shall be enabled to do this, I shall lay irresistible
claims to her love and her gratitude.
"Such were the sophistries by which reason was seduced and my integrity
annihilated. I hastened away from my present abode. I easily traced the
baggage of the deceased to an inn, and gained possession of it. It
contained nothing but clothes and books. I then instituted the most
diligent search after the young lady. For a time, my exertions were
fruitless.
"Meanwhile, the possessor of this house thought proper to embark with
his family for Europe. The sum which he demanded for his furniture,
though enormous, was precipitately paid by me. His servants were
continued in their former stations, and in the day at which he
relinquished the mansion, I entered on possession.
"There was no difficulty in persuading the world that Welbeck was a
personage of opulence and rank. My birth and previous adventures it was
proper to conceal. The facility with which mankind are misled in their
estimate of characters, their proneness to multiply inferences and
conjectures, will not be readily conceived by one destitute of my
experience. My sudden appearance on the stage, my stately reserve, my
splendid habitation, and my circumspect deportment, were sufficient to
entitle me to homage. The artifices that were used to unveil the truth,
and the guesses that were current respecting me, were adapted to gratify
my ruling passion.
"I did not remit my diligence to discover the retreat of Mademoiselle
Lodi. I found her, at length, in the family of a kinsman of the captain
under whose care she had come to America. Her situation was irksome and
perilous. She had already experienced the evils of being protectorless
and indigent, and my seasonable interference snatched her from impending
and less supportable ills.
"I could safely unfold all that I knew of her brother's history, except
the legacy which he had left. I ascribed the diligence with which I had
sought her to his death-bed injunctions, and prevailed upon her to
accept from me the treatment which she would have received from her
brother if he had continued to live, and if his power to benefit had
been equal to my own.
"Though less can be said in praise of the understanding than of the
sensibilities of this woman, she is one whom no one could refrain from
loving, though placed in situations far less favourable to the
generation of that sentiment than mine. In habits of domestic and
incessant intercourse, in the perpetual contemplation of features
animated by boundless gratitude and ineffable sympathies, it could not
be expected that either she or I should escape enchantment.
"The poison was too sweet not to be swallowed with avidity by me. Too
late I remembered that I was already enslaved by inextricable
obligations. It was easy to have hidden this impediment from the eyes of
my companion, but here my integrity refused to yield. I can, indeed, lay
claim to little merit on account of this forbearance. If there had been
no alternative between deceit and the frustration of my hopes, I should
doubtless have dissembled the truth with as little scruple on this as on
a different occasion; but I could not be blind to the weakness of her
with whom I had to contend.