Welbeck did not return, though hour succeeded hour till the clock struck
ten. I inquired of the servants, who informed me that their master was
not accustomed to stay out so late. I seated myself at a table, in a
parlour, on which there stood a light, and listened for the signal of
his coming, either by the sound of steps on the pavement without or by a
peal from the bell. The silence was uninterrupted and profound, and each
minute added to my sum of impatience and anxiety.
To relieve myself from the heat of the weather, which was aggravated by
the condition of my thoughts, as well as to beguile this tormenting
interval, it occurred to me to betake myself to the bath. I left the
candle where it stood, and imagined that even in the bath I should hear
the sound of the bell which would be rung upon his arrival at the door.
No such signal occurred, and, after taking this refreshment, I prepared
to return to my post. The parlour was still unoccupied, but this was not
all; the candle I had left upon the table was gone. This was an
inexplicable circumstance. On my promise to wait for their master, the
servants had retired to bed. No signal of any one's entrance had been
given. The street door was locked, and the key hung at its customary
place upon the wall. What was I to think? It was obvious to suppose that
the candle had been removed by a domestic; but their footsteps could not
be traced, and I was not sufficiently acquainted with the house to find
the way, especially immersed in darkness, to their chamber. One measure,
however, it was evidently proper to take, which was to supply myself,
anew, with a light. This was instantly performed; but what was next to
be done?
I was weary of the perplexities in which I was embroiled. I saw no
avenue to escape from them but that which led me to the bosom of nature
and to my ancient occupations. For a moment I was tempted to resume my
rustic garb, and, on that very hour, to desert this habitation. One
thing only detained me; the desire to apprize my patron of the treachery
of Thetford. For this end I was anxious to obtain an interview; but now
I reflected that this information could by other means be imparted. Was
it not sufficient to write him briefly these particulars, and leave him
to profit by the knowledge? Thus I might, likewise, acquaint him with my
motives for thus abruptly and unseasonably deserting his service.
To the execution of this scheme pen and paper were necessary. The
business of writing was performed in the chamber on the third story. I
had been hitherto denied access to this room. In it was a show of papers
and books. Here it was that the task, for which I had been retained, was
to be performed; but I was to enter it and leave it only in company with
Welbeck. For what reasons, I asked, was this procedure to be adopted?
The influence of prohibitions and an appearance of disguise in awakening
curiosity is well known. My mind fastened upon the idea of this room
with an unusual degree of intenseness. I had seen it but for a moment.
Many of Welbeck's hours were spent in it. It was not to be inferred that
they were consumed in idleness: what then was the nature of his
employment over which a veil of such impenetrable secrecy was cast?
Will you wonder that the design of entering this recess was insensibly
formed? Possibly it was locked, but its accessibleness was likewise
possible. I meant not the commission of any crime. My principal purpose
was to procure the implements of writing, which were elsewhere not to be
found. I should neither unseal papers nor open drawers. I would merely
take a survey of the volumes and attend to the objects that
spontaneously presented themselves to my view. In this there surely was
nothing criminal or blameworthy. Meanwhile I was not unmindful of the
sudden disappearance of the candle. This incident filled my bosom with
the inquietudes of fear and the perturbations of wonder.
Once more I paused to catch any sound that might arise from without. All
was still. I seized the candle and prepared to mount the stairs. I had
not reached the first landing when I called to mind my midnight meeting
with Welbeck at the door of his daughter's chamber. The chamber was now
desolate; perhaps it was accessible; if so, no injury was done by
entering it. My curiosity was strong, but it pictured to itself no
precise object. Three steps would bear me to the door. The trial,
whether it was fastened, might be made in a moment; and I readily
imagined that something might be found within to reward the trouble of
examination. The door yielded to my hand, and I entered.
No remarkable object was discoverable. The apartment was supplied with
the usual furniture. I bent my steps towards a table over which a mirror
was suspended. My glances, which roved with swiftness from one object to
another, shortly lighted on a miniature portrait that hung near. I
scrutinized it with eagerness. It was impossible to overlook its
resemblance to my own visage. This was so great that for a moment I
imagined myself to have been the original from which it had been drawn.
This flattering conception yielded place to a belief merely of
similitude between me and the genuine original.
The thoughts which this opinion was fitted to produce were suspended by
a new object. A small volume, that had, apparently, been much used, lay
upon the toilet. I opened it, and found it to contain some of the Dramas
of Apostolo Zeno. I turned over the leaves; a written paper saluted my
sight. A single glance informed me that it was English. For the present
I was insensible to all motives that would command me to forbear. I
seized the paper with an intention to peruse it.
At that moment a stunning report was heard. It was loud enough to shake
the walls of the apartment, and abrupt enough to throw me into tremors.
I dropped the book and yielded for a moment to confusion and surprise.
From what quarter it came, I was unable accurately to determine; but
there could be no doubt, from its loudness, that it was near, and even
in the house. It was no less manifest that the sound arose from the
discharge of a pistol. Some hand must have drawn the trigger. I
recollected the disappearance of the candle from the room below.
Instantly a supposition darted into my mind which made my hair rise and
my teeth chatter.
"This," I said, "is the deed of Welbeck. He entered while I was absent
from the room; he hied to his chamber; and, prompted by some unknown
instigation, has inflicted on himself death!" This idea had a tendency
to palsy my limbs and my thoughts. Some time passed in painful and
tumultuous fluctuation. My aversion to this catastrophe, rather than a
belief of being, by that means, able to prevent or repair the evil,
induced me to attempt to enter his chamber. It was possible that my
conjectures were erroneous.
The door of his room was locked. I knocked; I demanded entrance in a low
voice; I put my eye and my ear to the keyhole and the crevices; nothing
could be heard or seen. It was unavoidable to conclude that no one was
within; yet the effluvia of gunpowder was perceptible.
Perhaps the room above had been the scene of this catastrophe. I
ascended the second flight of stairs. I approached the door. No sound
could be caught by my most vigilant attention. I put out the light that
I carried, and was then able to perceive that there was light within the
room. I scarcely knew how to act. For some minutes I paused at the door.
I spoke, and requested permission to enter. My words were succeeded by a
death-like stillness. At length I ventured softly to withdraw the bolt,
to open and to advance within the room. Nothing could exceed the horror
of my expectation; yet I was startled by the scene that I beheld.
In a chair, whose back was placed against the front wall, sat Welbeck.
My entrance alarmed him not, nor roused him from the stupor into which
he was plunged. He rested his hands upon his knees, and his eyes were
riveted to something that lay, at the distance of a few feet before
him, on the floor. A second glance was sufficient to inform me of what
nature this object was. It was the body of a man, bleeding, ghastly, and
still exhibiting the marks of convulsion and agony!
I shall omit to describe the shock which a spectacle like this
communicated to my unpractised senses. I was nearly as panic-struck and
powerless as Welbeck himself. I gazed, without power of speech, at one
time, at Welbeck; then I fixed terrified eyes on the distorted features
of the dead. At length, Welbeck, recovering from his reverie, looked up,
as if to see who it was that had entered. No surprise, no alarm, was
betrayed by him on seeing me. He manifested no desire or intention to
interrupt the fearful silence.
My thoughts wandered in confusion and terror. The first impulse was to
fly from the scene; but I could not be long insensible to the exigences
of the moment. I saw that affairs must not be suffered to remain in
their present situation. The insensibility or despair of Welbeck
required consolation and succour. How to communicate my thoughts, or
offer my assistance, I knew not. What led to this murderous catastrophe;
who it was whose breathless corpse was before me; what concern Welbeck
had in producing his death; were as yet unknown.
At length he rose from his seat, and strode at first with faltering, and
then with more steadfast steps, across the floor. This motion seemed to
put him in possession of himself. He seemed now, for the first time, to
recognise my presence. He turned to me, and said, in a tone of
severity,--
"How now? What brings you here?"
This rebuke was unexpected. I stammered out, in reply, that the report
of the pistol had alarmed me, and that I came to discover the cause of
it.
He noticed not my answer, but resumed his perturbed steps, and his
anxious but abstracted looks. Suddenly he checked himself, and, glancing
a furious eye at the corpse, he muttered, "Yes, the die is cast. This
worthless and miserable scene shall last no longer. I will at once get
rid of life and all its humiliations."
Here succeeded a new pause. The course of his thoughts seemed now to
become once more tranquil. Sadness, rather than fury, overspread his
features; and his accent, when he spoke to me, was not faltering, but
solemn.
"Mervyn," said he, "you comprehend not this scene. Your youth and
inexperience make you a stranger to a deceitful and flagitious world.
You know me not. It is time that this ignorance should vanish. The
knowledge of me and of my actions may be of use to you. It may teach you
to avoid the shoals on which my virtue and my peace have been wrecked;
but to the rest of mankind it can be of no use. The ruin of my fame is,
perhaps, irretrievable; but the height of my iniquity need not be known.
I perceive in you a rectitude and firmness worthy to be trusted; promise
me, therefore, that not a syllable of what I tell you shall ever pass
your lips."
I had lately experienced the inconvenience of a promise; but I was now
confused, embarrassed, ardently inquisitive as to the nature of this
scene, and unapprized of the motives that might afterwards occur,
persuading or compelling me to disclosure. The promise which he exacted
was given. He resumed:--
"I have detained you in my service, partly for your own benefit, but
chiefly for mine. I intended to inflict upon you injury and to do you
good. Neither of these ends can I now accomplish, unless the lessons
which my example may inculcate shall inspire you with fortitude and arm
you with caution.
"What it was that made me thus, I know not. I am not destitute of
understanding. My thirst of knowledge, though irregular, is ardent. I
can talk and can feel as virtue and justice prescribe; yet the tenor of
my actions has been uniform. One tissue of iniquity and folly has been
my life; while my thoughts have been familiar with enlightened and
disinterested principles. Scorn and detestation I have heaped upon
myself. Yesterday is remembered with remorse. To-morrow is contemplated
with anguish and fear; yet every day is productive of the same crimes
and of the same follies.
"I was left, by the insolvency of my father, (a trader of Liverpool,)
without any means of support but such as labour should afford me.
Whatever could generate pride, and the love of independence, was my
portion. Whatever can incite to diligence was the growth of my
condition; yet my indolence was a cureless disease; and there were no
arts too sordid for me to practise.
"I was content to live on the bounty of a kinsman. His family was
numerous, and his revenue small. He forbore to upbraid me, or even to
insinuate the propriety of providing for myself; but he empowered me to
pursue any liberal or mechanical profession which might suit my taste. I
was insensible to every generous motive. I laboured to forget my
dependent and disgraceful condition, because the remembrance was a
source of anguish, without being able to inspire me with a steady
resolution to change it.
"I contracted an acquaintance with a woman who was unchaste, perverse,
and malignant. Me, however, she found it no difficult task to deceive.
My uncle remonstrated against the union. He took infinite pains to
unveil my error, and to convince me that wedlock was improper for one
destitute, as I was, of the means of support, even if the object of my
choice were personally unexceptionable.
"His representations were listened to with anger. That he thwarted my
will in this respect, even by affectionate expostulation, cancelled all
that debt of gratitude which I owed to him. I rewarded him for all his
kindness by invective and disdain, and hastened to complete my
ill-omened marriage. I had deceived the woman's father by assertions of
possessing secret resources. To gratify my passion, I descended to
dissimulation and falsehood. He admitted me into his family, as the
husband of his child; but the character of my wife and the fallacy of my
assertions were quickly discovered. He denied me accommodation under his
roof, and I was turned forth to the world to endure the penalty of my
rashness and my indolence.
"Temptation would have moulded me into any villanous shape. My virtuous
theories and comprehensive erudition would not have saved me from the
basest of crimes. Luckily for me, I was, for the present, exempted from
temptation. I had formed an acquaintance with a young American captain.
On being partially informed of my situation, he invited me to embark
with him for his own country. My passage was gratuitous. I arrived, in a
short time, at Charleston, which was the place of his abode.
"He introduced me to his family, every member of which was, like
himself, imbued with affection and benevolence. I was treated like their
son and brother. I was hospitably entertained until I should be able to
select some path of lucrative industry. Such was my incurable depravity,
that I made no haste to select my pursuit. An interval of inoccupation
succeeded, which I applied to the worst purposes.
"My friend had a sister, who was married, but during the absence of her
husband resided with her family. Hence originated our acquaintance. The
purest of human hearts and the most vigorous understanding were hers.
She idolized her husband, who well deserved to be the object of her
adoration. Her affection for him, and her general principles, appeared
to be confirmed beyond the power to be shaken. I sought her intercourse
without illicit views; I delighted in the effusions of her candour and
the flashes of her intelligence; I conformed, by a kind of instinctive
hypocrisy, to her views; I spoke and felt from the influence of
immediate and momentary conviction. She imagined she had found in me a
friend worthy to partake in all her sympathies and forward all her
wishes. We were mutually deceived. She was the victim of self-delusion;
but I must charge myself with practising deceit both upon myself and
her.
"I reflect with astonishment and horror on the steps which led to her
degradation and to my calamity. In the high career of passion all
consequences were overlooked. She was the dupe of the most audacious
sophistry and the grossest delusion. I was the slave of sensual impulses
and voluntary blindness. The effect may be easily conceived. Not till
symptoms of pregnancy began to appear were our eyes opened to the ruin
which impended over us.
"Then I began to revolve the consequences, which the mist of passion had
hitherto concealed. I was tormented by the pangs of remorse, and pursued
by the phantom of ingratitude. To complete my despair, this unfortunate
lady was apprized of my marriage with another woman; a circumstance
which I had anxiously concealed from her. She fled from her father's
house at a time when her husband and brother were hourly expected. What
became of her I knew not. She left behind her a letter to her father, in
which the melancholy truth was told.
"Shame and remorse had no power over my life. To elude the storm of
invective and upbraiding, to quiet the uproar of my mind, I did not
betake myself to voluntary death. My pusillanimity still clung to this
wretched existence. I abruptly retired from the scene, and, repairing to
the port, embarked in the first vessel which appeared. The ship chanced
to belong to Wilmington, in Delaware, and here I sought out an obscure
and cheap abode.
"I possessed no means of subsistence. I was unknown to my neighbours,
and desired to remain unknown. I was unqualified for manual labour by
all the habits of my life; but there was no choice between penury and
diligence,--between honest labour and criminal inactivity. I mused
incessantly on the forlornness of my condition. Hour after hour passed,
and the horrors of want began to encompass me. I sought with eagerness
for an avenue by which I might escape from it. The perverseness of my
nature led me on from one guilty thought to another. I took refuge in my
customary sophistries, and reconciled myself at length to a scheme
of--_forgery_!"