A Conversation with a Loyal Kentuckian, who had Faith in the final
Triumph of Democracy.
CONFEDRIT × ROADS
(wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
January 6, 1866.
I see a lite. Democricy is not that dead karkis its enemies hoped for
and its friends feared. My noomerious friends here insisted that ez I
wuz growin into the seer and yaller leaf, I shood abandon Dimocrisy, and
flote with the current. I cant. Ez troo ez the needle to the pole, so am
I to Dimocrisy. Young wimmin flock to marryins, middle-aged ones to
bornins, and old ones to buryins, which shows concloosively to the most
limited intelleck wat the mind uv each class runs upon. So it is with
me. To me Dimocrisy is wife, mother, and child.
I hev diskivered many things sense I hev bin in Kentucky--things wich
elevated my deprest heart ez yeast does dough, wich filled my shrunken
soul ez wind does a bladder.
The people uv Kentucky wuz all loyal. Doorin the horrible fratrisidle
war wich hez rent the proud temple uv liberty into twain, they preserved
a strict nootrality. I hed a conversation with wun old patriarch, who
asshoored me that he hed never taken sides.
Upon his honor, he asshoored me that, after battles, he rifled the
corpses uv both armies, impartially. "Cood any boddy be more nootraller
than that?" he asked. "My sons," sed he, "wuz in the confedrit army.
This fact wood hev turned the affections uv a week-minded man in that
direction; but when I thot uv the boys, I alluz thot also uv that
gellorious star-spangled banner, under wich I hed whipped my niggers and
sold their children; under whose shadder I hed men servants, and made
servants, and home-made servants born unto me. That banner hed bin my
shield. Ef my niggers run off, who so prompt in their pursoot ez the
Democratic marshals, wich alluz returned em to me ef it wuz possible?
The instooshun wuz guaranteed to me by solemn compermises, wich we cood
hev ez often ez we desired. Compermises wuz our best holt. Whenever we
wanted anything, all we hed to do wuz to ask for it. The Ablishinists
wood object, the Dimocrisy wood draw up a compermise, wich inklooded, ez
a rool, twice or 3 times wat we asked, and pass it to save the Union.
Sich a Union wuz worth havin, and I opposed all efforts to dissolute it.
Hed the South succeeded, I shood hev gone with em; for Kentucky
alone--the only nigger State in the North--wood hev bin helpless.
Scaldin tears hev I shed when contemplatin the horrors uv war; but I
cood do nothin to avert it. Kentucky wuz loyal, but nootral."
I find down here that the loyal citizens uv Kentucky who hev returned
from the confedrit service are not at all discouraged; on the contrary,
they are hopeful. Sed one to me (I bleeve he wuz a Kernel under Gen.
Forest; indeed, I think he told me he participated in the glorious
victory at Fort Piller),--
"Why art thou cast down? Things is workin eggsackly to our hand."
In a mournful tone, I retorted that I failed to perseeve it.
"I kin," sez he. "Lookye, my venerable friend. Is the Northern Dimocrisy
still troo?"
"They is," I replied, "wat few remains. But, alas! war, crool war, hez
decimated our ranks five times."
"How so?" sez he. "None uv your kind uv Democrats jined in this unholy
croosade, and fell afore our deth-deelin swords--did they?"
"Not any," sez I; "but Kanady and Montana took em afore each draft. That
wuz why we wuz so beet at the eleckshuns. For one week-kneed Ablishinist
we scared into our ranks, we lost two by emigration; and, unfortunitly,
wun half that emigrated starved to deth, and tother half is distribbited
in the various States prisons in them lands uv refuge."
"Still," sez he, "it matters not. Yoo hev deestricks yoo kin carry in
most uv the States. The Five Points deestrick, in Noo York, is ours. Noo
Gersey will go back to her allegiance. The new gold States, where so
menny uv our friends fled, will send up Democrats to Congress. Ohio hez
2 devoted to us, Pennsylvany hez several, and the most uv the Northern
States will send one or two; and them from the North kin be depended on
to go any measure we say. Then"--and he slapped me on the back
highlariously--"the niggers is free!"
"Well?" sez I, not seem wat cause for highlarity that wuz.
"Well," sez he, "them niggers is not now OTHER PERSONS! We alluz counted
five uv em for three in making up the Congressers we wuz entitled to;
now they count as white men, wich increases our delegashuns to sich an
extent that ef yoo Northern men do half yoor dooty, we'll hev a majority
in Congress. Then, good Lord! the pleasant crack uv the whip shel agin
be heard on the plains uv the sunny South. The niggers wont be
re-enslaved; but our Legislaters will speedily redoose em to their
normal condishun. We shell observe the Constitushnel Amendment strickly
and in good faith. The Afrikin shel be free; but the good uv society
demands that he shel be under proper guardianship. He wont be allowed to
change his location; and the laws uv the States will define his dooties,
and give us the power uv enforcin em. He wont be allowed to hev arms, so
he can't resist. Ez he can't leave a plantation, he will hev to submit
quietly to sich rools ez the high-minded planter makes for him, or be
shot on the spot, or turned out to die uv starvashun, akording to
circumstances. Ef the planter is a unrejenerated child uv damnashun, he
will shoot him; ef he is a saint, who hez a southern hope uv a blessed
immortality beyond the grave, he'll restrane his anger, and turn him out
to die uv hunger, onless he repents, and comes back humble. Then, they
bein free and responsible for theirselves, we ain't obleeged to take
care uv the sick, the aged, or the infirm, so it will be really better
than it wuz before. I see a gellorious future afore us. Thro the thick
clouds uv gloom the brite sun uv hope cheerinly breaks. Say to the
Northern Dimocrisy, be uv good cheer. Agin they shel lick our hands;
agin they shel eat the crumbs that fall from the National table.
"Thank God for the Northern Dimocrisy, with the other blessins He has
given the South. With niggers to do our manual labor for nothing, with
Northern Democrats to do our votin at almost the same price, we are
trooly a favored people. Bless the Lord for the nigger and the Democrat,
wich is both useful to us, each in his speer!"
I drew encouragement from his remarks. The deep vane uv pious
thankfulness wich run through his discourse was nateral to him. He is a
trooly pious man, and wuz just back frum the meetin uv the Synod uv one
uv the Southern churches, wich still persists in quotin Onesimus and
Hayger. I feel encouraged. O, Dimmycrats uv the North, let us
"Our vigger renoo,
And our journey pursoo,"
and I feel shoor that success will at last crown our efforts.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.