2. What Androo Johnson means by dictatin to the Convenshuns uv sovereign
States?
"Why," sez he, "but a few days ago this boor hed the ashoorence to write
to the Georgy Convenshun that it '_must not_'--mark the term--'MUST NOT
assoom the confedrit war debt.' Is a tailor to say '_must not_' to
shivelrus Georgy? Good God!--where are we driftin? For one, I never will
be consilliated on them terms--never! I never wuz used to that style uv
talk in Dimekratic convenshuns.
"Ez soon ez I take my seet in Congris," resoomed he, "I shel deliver a
speech, wich I writ the day after Lee surrendered, so ez to hev it
ready, in which I shel take the follerin ground, to wit:
"That the South hev buried the hatchit, and hev diskivered that they
love the old Yoonion above eny thing on earth. But,
"The North must meet us half way, or we wont be answerable for the
consekences. Ez a basis for a settlement, I shell insist on the follerin
condishens:
"The Federal debt must be repoodiated, principal and interest, or ef
paid, the Southern war debt must be paid likewise--ez a peece offerin.
The doctrine uv State Rites must be made the soopreme law uv the land,
that the South may withdraw whenever they feel theirselves dissatisfied
with Massachusetts. Uv coarse this is a olive branch.
"Jefferson Davis must be to-wunst set at liberty and Sumner hung, ez
proof that the North is really consilliatory. On this pint I am
inflexible, and on the others immovable."
An old man who hed bin listnin to our talk, murmured that there wuz a
parallel to this last proposishen.
"Where?" demanded the Genral.
"The Jews, I remember," replied he, "demanded that Barrabas be released
unto them, who wuz a thief, I believe, and the Savior be crucified, but
I forgit jist how it wuz."
The Genral withered him with a litenin glance, and resoomed:
"I shel, uv course, offer the North suthin in the way uv compensation,
for the troo theory uv a Republikin Government is compermise. On our
part we pledge ourselves to kum back, and give the North the benefit uv
our kumin back, so long ez Massachusetts condux herself akkordin to our
ijees uv what is rite. But ef this ekitable adjustment is rejected, all
I hev to say then is, I shell resign, and the Government may sink
without wun effort from me to save it."
I wuz about to give in my experience, when the old man, who wuz sittin
near us, broke in agin:
"My name," sed he, "is Maginnis, and I live in Alabama. I want to say a
word to the gentleman from Karliny, and to the wun from Noo Gersey."
"How," retorted I, "do yoo know I'm from Noo Gersey, not hevin spoken a
word in yoor hearin?"
"By a instink I hev. Whenever I see a Sutherner layin it down heavy to a
indivijouel whose phisynogamy is uv sich a cast that upon beholdin it
yoo instinktively feel to see that yoor pocket-handkercher is safe, a
face that wood be dangerous if it had courage into it, I alluz know the
latter to be a Northern copperhead. The Noo Gersey part I guessed at,
becoz, my friend, that State furnished the lowest order uv copperheads
of any uv em. Pardon me ef I flatter yoo. But what I wanted to say wus,
that I spose suthen hez happened doorin the past 4 years. I was a
original secessionist. Sum years ago I hed a hundred niggers, and wuz
doin well with em. But, unforchunitly, my brother died, and left me ez
much more land, but no niggers. I wanted niggers enuff to work that
land, and spozed ef cut off from the North, and the slave-trade wuz
reopened, I cood git em cheaper. Hentz I seceshed. Sich men ez Genral
McStinger told me the North woodent fight or I woodent hev, secesht, but
I did it. I went out for wool and cum back shorn. I seceshed with 100
niggers to git 200, and alas! I find myself back into the old
government, with nary a nigger.
"But all this is no excoose for talkin bald noncents. Yoo old ass," sed
he, addressin Genral McStinger, "yoo talk uv wat yoo will do, and what
yoo wont. Hevent you diskivered that yoo are whipped? Hevent you found
out that yoo are subjoogated? Are yoo back into the Yoonyun uv your own
free will and akkord? Hevent yoo got a pardon in yoor pockit, which
dockyment is all that saves yoor neck from stretchin hemp? Why do yoo
talk uv wat South karliny will and wont do? Good Lord! I recollect about
a year since South karliny would _never_ permit her soil 2 be pollutid
by Yankee hirelins, yit Sherman marched all over it with a few uv em,
and skarcly a gun was fired at em. So too I recollect that that sed
State, wich wuz agoin to whip the entire North, and wich wood, ef
overpowered, submit gracefully and with dignity to annihilation, and
sich, wuz the first to, git down on her marrow bones, and beg for peace
like a dorg. Ef yoo intend this talk for the purpose uv skarin the
North, beleeve me when I say that the North aint so easy skared ez it
wuz. Ef its intendid for home consumption, consider me the people. Ive
heard it before, and I'll take no more uv it until my stumick settles.
It makes me puke. The fact is we are whipped, and hev got to do the best
we kin. We are a goin to pay the Federal debt, and aint goin to pay the
confederet debt. Davis will be hung, and serve him rite. States rites is
dead, and slavery is abolished, and with it shivelry; and its my opinion
the South is a d----d sight better off without either of em. I kin
sware, now, after livin outside uv the shadder uv the flag 4 yeres, that
I love it! You bet I do. I carry a small one in my coat pocket. I hev a
middlin sized one waved by my youngest boy over the family when at
prayers, and a whalin big one wavin over my house all the time. I hev
diskivered that its a good thing to live under, and when sich cusses as
yoo talk uv what yoo will and wont do under it, I bile. Go home, yoo
cusses, go home! Yoo, South, and pullin orf your coat, go to work,
thankin God that Johnson's merciful enuff to let yoo go home at all
insted uv hangin yoo up like a dorg, for tryin to bust a Guverment too
good for yoo. Yoo, North, thankful that the men uv sense uv the North
hed the manhood to prevent us from rooinin ourselves by makin sich ez
yoo our niggers. Avaunt!"
And the excited Mr. Maginnis, who is evidently subjoogated, strode out
uv our presence. His intemperit talk cast a chill over our confidencis,
and we dident resoom with the ease and freedom we commenced with, and in
a few minutes we parted. I didn't like him.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.