How long, oh, ye Easy Ones, shall men continue to call ye “_kitten_”
when they are sentimental and “_cat_” when they wax cynical?
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, the ways of a _man_ are the ways of
Grimalkin; for doth not a cat, and likewise a man, prize his _dignity_
above all things else in the heavens above, or in the earth beneath, or
in the subways under the earth?
Moreover, doth not a cat, and likewise a man, seek out all the _soft_
places upon the face of the earth, and all the most _comfortable_ spots
within the house, and all the _easy_ chairs of the office?
Yea, doth not a man, even as a cat, wander abroad at night and return
only at mealtimes?
Doth not a cat, and also a man, cling unto the woman that maketh him
most _comfortable_ and stroketh him the _right_ way, but revile and
despise her that disturbeth his meditations and arouseth him from his
slumbers?
Doth not a cat flee in terror from one that flingeth cold water upon
his coat, and a man from her that flingeth cold water upon his vanity?
Doth not a man, like unto a cat, struggle to escape when he is held
_tightly_, yet remain cheerfully where he is not wanted?
Doth not a cat, and likewise a man, flee fearfully from that which is
flung at his head--whether it be a bone, or a plate, or a _woman_?
And, being “dropped,” doth not a cat and likewise a man, land always
upon his _feet_ and depart in search of consolation?
Lo, if thou pursuest a cat and a man with thine endearments will they
not shrink from thee, with vexation?
But, if thou ignorest them, will they not sit devotedly at thy feet?
Go to! I say unto thee a _woman_ is not as a tabby, but as a Faithful
Fido which cannot be shaken off.
She followeth a man whithersoever he goeth, accepting gladly a pat upon
the head and a kind word, and lying down at his feet to be _stepped on_.
Verily, verily, why doth a spinster console herself with a _cat_ in her
loneliness?
Even because this is the only thing which can be found to resemble a
_man_!