AMPHITHEUS. No! I am an immortal! Amphitheus was the son of Ceres and
Triptolemus; of him was born Celeus. Celeus wedded Phaencreté, my
grandmother, whose son was Lucinus, and, being born of him, I am an
immortal; it is to me alone that the gods have entrusted the duty of
treating with the Lacedaemonians. But, citizens, though I am immortal, I
am dying of hunger; the Prytanes give me naught.[160]
A PRYTANIS. Guards!
AMPHITHEUS. Oh, Triptolemus and Ceres, do ye thus forsake your own blood?
DICAEOPOLIS. Prytanes, in expelling this citizen, you are offering an
outrage to the Assembly. He only desired to secure peace for us and to
sheathe the sword.
PRYTANIS. Sit down and keep silence!
DICAEOPOLIS. No, by Apollo, will I not, unless you are going to discuss
the question of peace.
HERALD. The ambassadors, who are returned from the Court of the King!
DICAEOPOLIS. Of what King? I am sick of all those fine birds, the peacock
ambassadors and their swagger.
HERALD. Silence!
DICAEOPOLIS. Oh! oh! by Ecbatana,[161] what assumption!
AN AMBASSADOR. During the archonship of Euthymenes, you sent us to the
Great King on a salary of two drachmae per diem.
DICAEOPOLIS. Ah! those poor drachmae!
AMBASSADOR. We suffered horribly on the plains of the Caÿster, sleeping
under a tent, stretched deliciously on fine chariots, half dead with
weariness.
DICAEOPOLIS. And I was very much at ease, lying on the straw along the
battlements![162]
AMBASSADOR. Everywhere we were well received and forced to drink
delicious wine out of golden or crystal flagons....
DICAEOPOLIS. Oh, city of Cranaus,[163] thy ambassadors are laughing at
thee!
AMBASSADOR. For great feeders and heavy drinkers are alone esteemed as
men by the barbarians.
DICAEOPOLIS. Just as here in Athens, we only esteem the most drunken
debauchees.
AMBASSADOR. At the end of the fourth year we reached the King's Court,
but he had left with his whole army to ease himself, and for the space of
eight months he was thus easing himself in midst of the golden
mountains.[164]
DICAEOPOLIS. And how long was he replacing his dress?
AMBASSADOR. The whole period of a full moon; after which he returned to
his palace; then he entertained us and had us served with oxen roasted
whole in an oven.
DICAEOPOLIS. Who ever saw an oxen baked in an oven? What a lie!
AMBASSADOR. On my honour, he also had us served with a bird three times
as large as Cleonymus,[165] and called the Boaster.
DICAEOPOLIS. And do we give you two drachmae, that you should treat us to
all this humbug?
AMBASSADOR. We are bringing to you, Pseudartabas,[166] the King's Eye.
DICAEOPOLIS. I would a crow might pluck out thine with his beak, thou
cursed ambassador!
HERALD. The King's Eye!
DICAEOPOLIS. Eh! Great gods! Friend, with thy great eye, round like the
hole through which the oarsman passes his sweep, you have the air of a
galley doubling a cape to gain the port.
AMBASSADOR. Come, Pseudartabas, give forth the message for the Athenians
with which you were charged by the Great King.