DICAEOPOLIS[147] (_alone_). What cares have not gnawed at my heart and
how few have been the pleasures in my life! Four, to be exact, while my
troubles have been as countless as the grains of sand on the shore! Let
me see of what value to me have been these few pleasures? Ah! I remember
that I was delighted in soul when Cleon had to disgorge those five
talents;[148] I was in ecstasy and I love the Knights for this deed; 'it
is an honour to Greece.'[149] But the day when I was impatiently awaiting
a piece by Aeschylus,[150] what tragic despair it caused me when the
herald called, "Theognis,[151] introduce your Chorus!" Just imagine how
this blow struck straight at my heart! On the other hand, what joy
Dexitheus caused me at the musical competition, when he played a Boeotian
melody on the lyre! But this year by contrast! Oh! what deadly torture to
hear Chaeris[152] perform the prelude in the Orthian mode![153]--Never,
however, since I began to bathe, has the dust hurt my eyes as it does
to-day. Still it is the day of assembly; all should be here at daybreak,
and yet the Pnyx[154] is still deserted. They are gossiping in the
market-place, slipping hither and thither to avoid the vermilioned
rope.[155] The Prytanes[156] even do not come; they will be late, but
when they come they will push and fight each other for a seat in the
front row. They will never trouble themselves with the question of peace.
Oh! Athens! Athens! As for myself, I do not fail to come here before all
the rest, and now, finding myself alone, I groan, yawn, stretch, break
wind, and know not what to do; I make sketches in the dust, pull out my
loose hairs, muse, think of my fields, long for peace, curse town life
and regret my dear country home,[157] which never told me to 'buy fuel,
vinegar or oil'; there the word 'buy,' which cuts me in two, was unknown;
I harvested everything at will. Therefore I have come to the assembly
fully prepared to bawl, interrupt and abuse the speakers, if they talk of
aught but peace. But here come the Prytanes, and high time too, for it is
midday! As I foretold, hah! is it not so? They are pushing and fighting
for the front seats.
HERALD. Move on up, move on, move on, to get within the consecrated
area.[158]
AMPHITHEUS. Has anyone spoken yet?
HERALD. Who asks to speak?
AMPHITHEUS. I do.
HERALD. Your name?
AMPHITHEUS. Amphitheus.