A Country Idler--Dr. Carlosbach, Conjurer and Professor of
Mystification--The Sand-bag and the Stirrup Trick--I turn Lawyer’s
Clerk, and the Minutes appear to me very long--A small Automaton--A
respectful Protest--I mount a Step in the Office--A Machine of
Porter’s Power--The Acrobatic Canaries--Monsieur Roger’s
Remonstrances--My Father decides that I shall follow my bent.
In the story I have just narrated, only simple events were
noticeable--hardly worthy, perhaps, of a man who has often passed for a
sorcerer--but grant me a few pages’ patience, reader, as an introduction
to my artistic life, and what you seek in my book will be displayed
before your eager gaze. You will know how a magician is produced, and
you will learn that the tree whence my magic staff was cut was only that
of persevering labor, often bedewed by the sweat of my brow: soon, too,
when you come to witness my labors and my anxious hours of expectation,
you will be able to appreciate the cost of a reputation in my mysterious
art.
On leaving college, I at first enjoyed all the liberty I had been
deprived of for so many years. The power of going right or left, of
speaking or remaining silent, as I listed, of getting up sooner or
later, according to my fancy, was an earthly paradise for a collegian. I
enjoyed this ineffable pleasure to the fullest extent: thus, in the
morning--although habit made me wake at five--when the clock announced
that once so dreaded hour, I burst into a loud laugh, and offered
ferocious challenges to any number of invisible superintendents; then,
satisfied by this slight retrospective vengeance, I went to sleep again
till breakfast. After that meal I went out to indulge in a pleasant
lounge about the streets; and I preferred walking in the public
promenades, for thus I had better chances of finding something to
attract my attention. In a word, not an event happened which I did not
know, and I was the real amateur “penny-a-liner” of my native town.
Many of these incidents afforded very slight interest; one day, however,
I witnessed a scene which produced a lasting effect upon me. One
after-dinner, while walking along the side of the Loire, engaged with
the thoughts suggested by the falling autumn leaves, I was aroused from
my reverie by the sound of a trumpet, evidently blown by a practised
performer. It may be easily supposed that I was not the last to obey
this startling summons, and a few other idlers also formed a circle
round the performer.
He was a tall fellow with a quick eye, a sunburnt face, long and crispy
hair, and he stemmed his fist in his side, while he held his head
impudently high. His costume, though rather “loud,” was still cleanly,
and announced a man who probably had “some hay in his boots,” to use a
favorite phrase of gentlemen in the same profession. He wore a
maroon-colored frock-coat, trimmed with large silver frogs, while round
his neck was a black silk cravat, the two ends being passed through a
jewelled ring, which a millionaire would not have disdained--had it not
unfortunately been paste. He wore no waistcoat, but his shirt was
remarkably white, and on it glistened a heavy mosaic chain, with a
collection of appendages, whose metallic sound loudly announced his
every movement.
I had ample time to make these observations, for as the audience
collected but slowly, the stranger continued his trumpet overture for a
quarter of an hour; at length, when an average crowd had assembled, the
trumpet made way for the human voice. The artist laid the instrument on
the ground, and walked round majestically to form a ring; then,
stopping, he passed his hand through his hair, and began his address.
Being little used to this charlatanism in the streets, I regarded the
man with confiding admiration and determined not to lose a word of his
address.
“Gentlemen,” he commenced, in a firm and sonorous voice, “pray hear me.
I am _not_ what I seem to be; I may say more, I am what I do not seem to
be. Yes, gentlemen, yes--confess it--you take me for one of those scurvy
beggars who want to draw a few halfpence from your generosity. Well, you
may undeceive yourselves. Though you see me on this spot to-day, I tell
you that I have only come here for the relief of suffering humanity in
general, then for your welfare in particular, as well as for your
amusement.”
Here the orator, whose accent plainly showed that he came from the banks
of the Garonne, passed his hand once more through his hair, raised his
head, sucked his lips, and, assuming an air of majestic dignity,
continued:
“I will tell you presently who I am, and you will be able to estimate me
at my true value; in the mean while allow me to offer you a slight
specimen of my skill.”
The artist, having then formed the circle afresh, placed before him a
small table, on which he arranged three tin goblets, so well polished
that they might have been taken for silver; after which he fastened
round his waist a red cotton velvet bag, into which he thrust his hands
for some minutes--doubtlessly to prepare the tricks he intended to
display--and the performance commenced.
During a long series of tricks, the nutmegs, at first invisible,
appeared at the finger ends of the conjuror; then, they passed through
the cups, under the table, into a spectator’s pockets, and finally
emerged, to the general delight, from the nose of a young looker-on. The
latter took the matter quite seriously, and half killed himself with
sneezing, to see whether a few more spice balls might not be left in his
brain. The address with which these tricks were done, and the apparent
simplicity of the operator in the execution of these ingenious
artifices, produced the most perfect illusion--at least, as far as I was
concerned.
It was the first time I had ever witnessed such a sight: I was
stupefied, astounded! The man who could perform such marvels at his will
seemed to me a superhuman being; hence I saw him put aside his cups with
considerable regret. The audience seemed equally charmed; the artist
perceived it, and took advantage of it, by making a sign that he had a
few more words to say. Then, resting his hand on the table, he
proceeded:
“Ladies and gentlemen! I was very pleased to notice the kind attention
you devoted to my tricks, and I thank you for it” (here the conjuror
bowed to the ground); “and, as I am anxious to prove that you have not
to deal with an ungrateful person, I will attempt to repay in full the
satisfaction you have made me feel. Deign to listen to me for a moment.
“I promised to tell you what I am; I will now satisfy you.” (Sudden
change of countenance, and evidence of great self-esteem.) “You behold
in me the celebrated Dr. Carlosbach: the composition of my name reveals
to you my Anglo-Francisco-Germanic origin. To praise myself would be
like painting the lily; I will, therefore, content myself with saying
that I possess an enormous talent, and that my astounding reputation can
only be equalled by my modesty. Elected, by acclamation, member of the
most illustrious learned societies through the whole world, I incline
before their judgment, which proclaims the superiority of my skill in
the grand art of curing the human race.”
This address, as strange as it was emphatic, was delivered with
imperturbable assurance; still I fancied I noticed a twitching of the
lips, that revealed the grand doctor’s ill-restrained desire to laugh.
For all that, I listened attentively to his discourse.
“But, gentlemen,” he added, “I have said sufficient of myself; it is
time to speak of my works. Learn then, that I am the inventor of the
Vermifuge Balsam, whose sovereign efficaciousness is indisputable. Yes,
gentlemen, the worm, that enemy of the human race--the worm, the
destroyer of everything existing--the worm, that obstinate preyer on the
living and the dead, is at length conquered by my science; a drop, an
atom of this precious liquor is sufficient to expel this fearful
parasite for ever.
“And, gentlemen, such is the virtue of my marvellous balsam, that it not
only delivers man from this frightful calamity during life, but his body
has nothing to fear after death. Taking my balsam is a mode of embalming
one’s body prior to death; man is thus rendered immortal. Ah! gentlemen,
were you but acquainted with all the virtues of my sublime discovery,
you would rush upon me and tear it from me; but, as that would be
illegal, I check myself in time.”
The orator, in fact, stopped, and dried his brow with one hand, while
with the other he motioned to the crowd that he had not yet ended his
discourse. A great number of the audience were already striving to
approach the learned doctor; Carlosbach, however, did not appear to
notice it, and, reassuming his dramatic posture, he continued as
follows:
“But, you will ask me, what can be the price of such a treasure? can we
be rich enough to purchase it? The moment has now arrived, gentlemen, to
make you understand the full extent of my disinterestedness. This
balsam, in the discovery of which I have worn away my days--this balsam,
which sovereigns have purchased at the price of their crown--this
balsam, in short, which is beyond all price--well, I make you a present
of it!”
At these unexpected words, the crowd, panting with emotion, lifted up
its eager arms, and implored the generosity of the doctor. But, what
shameful deception! Carlosbach--the celebrated Dr. Carlosbach--this
benefactor of humanity, suddenly altered his tone, and burst into an
Homeric shout of laughter. The arms fell down spontaneously; the
audience looked vacantly into each other’s faces. At length one laughed.
The contagion spread, and soon everybody was following the conjurer’s
example. He was the first to stop, and demanded silence:
“Gentlemen!” he then said, in a perfectly respectful tone, “do not be
angry with me for the little trick I have played you; I wished thus to
put you on your guard against those charlatans who daily deceive you,
just as I have done myself. I am no doctor, but simply a conjurer,
professor of mystification, and author of a book, in which you will
find, in addition to the discourse I have just delivered, the
description of a great number of conjuring tricks. Would you like to
learn the art of amusing yourself in society? For sixpence you may
satisfy your curiosity.”
The conjurer produced from a box an enormous packet of books; then,
going round the crowd, he soon disposed of his wares, thanks to the
interest his talent had excited. The exhibition was over, and I returned
home with my head full of a world of unknown sensations.
It will be readily supposed that I purchased one of these precious
volumes. I hastened to examine it; but the false doctor continued his
system of mystification in it, and despite all my good will, I could not
understand one of the tricks he pretended to explain. However, I had the
famous speech I have just quoted, as some sort of consolation.
I made up my mind to lay the book aside and think no more of it; but the
marvels it announced returned to my mind every moment. “O Carlosbach!” I
said in my modest ambition, “if I possessed your talent, how happy I
should feel!” and, filled with this idea, I decided on taking lessons of
the learned professor. Unfortunately, this determination was arrived at
too late. When I proceeded to his lodgings, I learned that the conjuror
had resorted to his own tricks, and had left his inn the previous
evening, forgetting to pay the princely score he had run up. The
innkeeper gave me the account of this last mystification on the part of
the professor.
Carlosbach had arrived at his house with two trunks of unequal size and
very heavy; on the larger of them was painted “Conjuring Apparatus,” on
the other, “Clothing.” The conjuror, who stated that he had received
various invitations to perform at the adjacent châteaux, had set off the
evening before to fulfil one of these engagements. He had only taken
with him one of his trunks, that containing the apparatus; and it was
supposed he had left the other in his room as a security for the bill he
had run up. The next day the host, surprised at finding his lodger
still absent, thought it advisable to place his traps in some safe
place. He, therefore, went into his bedroom; but the two trunks had
disappeared, and in their place was an enormous bag filled with sand, on
which was written:
THE MYSTIFYING BAG.
THE STIRRUP TRICK.
I continued for some time longer to enjoy the contemplative life I had
been pursuing; but at last satiety assailed me, and I was quite
surprised one day at finding myself wearied of this life of idleness. My
father, like a man who could read the human heart, had awaited this
moment to talk seriously with me; he, therefore, took me aside one
morning, and said, without further preface, in a kindly voice:
“My good boy, you have now quitted college with a sound education, and I
have allowed you to enjoy fully the liberty for which you seemed to
aspire. But you must see this is not sufficient for a livelihood; you
must now enter on the world resolutely, and apply your parts to the
profession you wish to embrace. That profession it is now time to
choose; you have doubtlessly some inclination, some bias, and you must
let me know it; speak, then, and you will find me inclined to second
your views.”
Although my father had frequently expressed his fears lest I should
follow his trade, I thought, after these remarks, he had changed his
mind, and I joyfully said:
“Of course I have an inclination, and you cannot be ignorant of it, for
it is of very old standing. You know I never wished to be other than--“
My father guessed my thoughts, and would not allow me to finish.
“I see,” he objected, “that you did not understand me, and I must
explain my meaning more clearly. My desire is for you to choose a
profession more lucrative than my own. Consider, it would be
unreasonable to bury the ten years’ schooling for which I made such
heavy sacrifices in my shop; remember, too, that, after thirty-five
years’ hard work, I have been hardly able to save sufficient provision
for my old age. Then, pray, change your resolution, and give up your
mania for making a ‘parcel of filings.’”
My father, in this, merely followed the idea of many parents, who can
only see the disagreeable side of their own trade. To this prejudice, I
must allow, he added the praiseworthy ambition of the head of a family
desirous that his son should rise a step higher on the social ladder
than himself.
As I was utterly ignorant of all other professions or trades save that
of a mechanician, I was unable to appreciate them, or consequently
select one; hence I remained dumb. In vain did my father try to draw an
answer from me by explaining the advantages I should derive from being a
surgeon or chemist, a barrister or a solicitor. I could only repeat that
I placed implicit confidence in his wisdom and experience. This
self-denial and passive obedience appeared to touch him; I noticed it,
and wishing to make a final attack on his determination, I said to him:
“Before making up my mind to any decided choice of profession, allow me
to offer one observation. Are you sure that it is your trade which is
impossible of extension, or is it owing to the smallness of the town in
which you have carried it on? Let me follow my own bent, I beseech you,
and when I have become a good workman by your instruction, I will go to
Paris and make a fortune there; I feel quite convinced I can do so.”
Fearing lest he might give way, my father tried to cut the conversation
short by evading a reply to my objection.
“As you leave it to me,” he said, “I advise you to become a solicitor;
with your natural parts, aided by application and good conduct, I am
certain you will make your way famously.”
Two days later I was installed in one of the best offices at Blois, and,
owing to my caligraphy, I was employed as a copying clerk, and in
engrossing from morning till night, though rarely understanding what I
was writing. My readers can readily guess that this mechanical work
could not long satisfy the turn of my mind; pens, ink, and paper were
most unsuitable articles to carry out the inventive ideas which
continually occurred to me. Fortunately, at that period, steel pens were
unknown; hence I had a resource in making my pens, to which I devoted
the best part of my time. This simple fact will suffice to give an idea
of the deep spleen which weighed upon me like a coating of lead, and I
should have certainly fallen ill, had I not found more attractive
employment.
Among the mechanical curiosities entrusted to my father for repair, I
had noticed a snuff-box, on the top of which a small piece of mechanism
attracted my entire attention. The top of the box represented a
landscape. On pressing a spring, a hare made its appearance, and went
towards a tuft of grass, which it began to crop; soon after a sportsman
emerged from a thicket accompanied by a pointer. The miniature Nimrod
stopped at the sight of the game, shouldered his gun and fired; a noise
indicative of the explosion of a fire-arm was heard, and the hare,
apparently wounded, disappeared in the thicket, pursued by the dog.
This pretty piece of mechanism excited my desires in an eminent degree,
but I could not hope to possess it, as the owner, in addition to the
value he attached to it, had no reason to dispose of it, and, besides,
my pecuniary means were insufficient. As I could not make the article my
own, I determined, at least, to keep it in remembrance, and drew a
careful plan of it without my father’s knowledge. This only more
inflamed my desires, and I began to ask myself whether I could not make
an exact copy of it.
Seeing no extreme difficulty in this, I rose at daybreak each morning,
and, going down to my father’s workshop, I worked till the hour when he
used to begin work. Then I rearranged the tools exactly as I had found
them, locked up my work carefully, and proceeded to my office. The joy I
experienced in finding my mechanism act was only equalled by the
pleasure I felt in presenting it to my father, as an indirect and
respectful protest against the determination he had formed as to my
choice of a trade. I had some difficulty in persuading him that I had
not been assisted by any one in my work, but when at last I removed his
doubts, he could not refrain from complimenting me.
“It is a pity,” he said, thoughtfully, “that you cannot profit by your
turn for mechanism; but,” he added, suddenly, as if seeking to dispel an
idea that troubled him, “you had better take no pride in your skill, for
it may injure your prospects.”
For more than a year I performed the duties of amateur--that is, unpaid
clerk--and I was then offered a situation by a country solicitor as
second clerk, with a small salary. I accepted this unexpected promotion
very readily; but, once installed in my new duties, I found that my
employer had deceived me as to their range. The situation I occupied was
that of office-boy, having to run on errands, for the first and only
clerk could more than attend to the business. I certainly earned some
money: it was the first I had gained by my own labor, and this
consideration gilded the pill, which was rather bitter to my pride.
Besides, M. Roger (such was my new master’s name) was certainly the best
fellow in the world. His manner, full of kindness and sympathy, had
attracted me the first time I saw him, and I may add that his behavior
towards me was most agreeable during the time I remained in his office.
This gentleman, the personification of probity, possessed the confidence
of the Duc d’Avaray, whose estate he managed, and being full of zeal for
his noble client’s business, he devoted more attention to it than to his
office. At Avaray legal business was very scarce, and we had hardly
enough to fill up our time. For my own part, I had many leisure hours,
which my kind master enabled me to employ by placing his library at my
service. I had the good fortune to find in it Linnæus’s Treaty on
Botany, and I learned the rudiments of that science.
The study of botany required time, and I could only devote to it the
hours prior to the office opening. Unfortunately, I had become a
tremendous sleeper--I hardly know how--and I could not manage to get up
before eight o’clock. I resolved to conquer this obstinate somnolency,
and I invented a waking apparatus, which, from its originality, deserves
honorable mention here.
The room I occupied formed a portion of the Château d’Avaray, and was
situated over an archway, closed by a heavy gate. Having noticed that
the porter opened this gate, which led into the gardens, every morning,
the idea occurred to me of profiting by this circumstance to institute
an energetic alarum. This is how I managed it. When I went to bed, I
fastened to one of my legs the end of a cord, which, passing through my
half-opened window, was attached to the upper part of the iron gate.
When the porter pushed the gate open, he dragged me, when least
expecting it, to the middle of my bedroom. Thus violently roused from
sleep, I tried to hold on by the bed-clothes; but the more I resisted,
the more did the pitiless porter push on his side, and I at length woke
up to hear him always abusing the hinges, which he determined to oil
before the day was out. Then, I unloosed my leg, and, with my Linnæus in
my hand, I went to interrogate Nature on her admirable secrets, the
study of which caused me to spend many pleasant hours.
As much to please my father as to scrupulously fulfil my duties in my
new office, I had promised to pay no more attention to mechanical
inventions--for I feared their irresistible attraction--and I had
religiously kept my word. There was, then, every reason to believe that
I should pass through all my grades creditably, and some day, in my
turn, become Maître Robert, solicitor, in some country town. But
Providence, in her decrees, had traced out a very different route for
me, and my stern resolutions were routed by a temptation too powerful
for my courage. In our office there was, strangely enough, a magnificent
aviary filled with canaries, whose song and plumage were intended to
dispel the impatience of a client forced by some accident to wait. This
cage being considered a portion of the office furniture, I was bound, as
errand-boy, to keep it in a proper state of cleanliness, and provide the
food of the denizens. This was the branch of my duties I performed with
the greatest zeal: in fact, I bestowed so much care on the comfort and
amusement of the birds, that they soon absorbed nearly all my time.
I began by setting up in this cage a number of mechanical tricks I had
invented at college under similar circumstances. I gradually added fresh
ones, and ended by making the cage a work of art and curiosity,
affording considerable attraction to our visitors. At one spot was a
perch, near which the sugar and the seed-glass displayed their
attractions; but no sooner had the innocent canary placed its foot on
the fatal perch, than a circular cage encompassed it, and it was kept a
prisoner until another bird, perching on an adjoining piece of wood, set
loose a spring, which delivered the captive. At another place were baths
and pumps; further on was a small trough, so arranged, that the nearer
the bird seemed to draw to it the further off it really was. Lastly,
each denizen of the cage was obliged to earn its food by drawing forward
with its beak small pasteboards carts.
The pleasure I felt in carrying out these small schemes soon made me
forget I was in a lawyer’s office for any other purpose than to be at
the beck and call of canaries. The chief clerk drew my attention to it,
and added some just remonstrances; but I had always a protest ready, and
continued making daily improvements in the aviary. At length, matters
reached such a point, that the supreme authority, that is to say my
master in person, felt it his duty to interfere.
“Robert,” he said to me, assuming an earnest tone, which he rarely
employed towards his clerks, “when you came into my office you were
aware it was to devote yourself exclusively to business, and not to
satisfy your own thirst for pleasure; warnings have been given you to
return your duty, and you have paid no attention to them; I am,
therefore, obliged to tell you that you must either decide on giving up
your mechanical fancies, or I must send you home to your father.”
And the worthy Monsieur Roger stopped, as if to draw breath after the
reproaches he had given me, I am sure much against his will. After a
moment’s silence, he reassumed his paternal tone, and said to me:
“And now, my friend, will you let me give you a piece of advice? I have
studied you, and feel convinced you will never be more than a very
ordinary clerk, and, consequently, a still more ordinary notary, while
you might become an excellent mechanician. It would be, then, wiser for
you to give up a profession in which you have such slight prospect of
success, and follow that for which you evince such remarkable aptitude.”
The kindly tone M. Roger assumed induced me to open my heart to him. I
told him of my father’s determination to keep me from his own trade, and
described to him all the vexation I had felt from it.
“Your father fancied he was acting for the best,” he replied to me, “by
putting you in a profession more lucrative than his own; he thought he
should only have a simple boyish fancy to overcome, but I am persuaded
it is an irresistible vocation, against which you should no longer
struggle. I will see your parents to-morrow, and I have no doubt I shall
induce them to change their opinion about your future prospects in
life.”
Since I quitted my father’s house he had sold his business, and had
retired to a small property he had near Blois. My master went to see him
as he had promised me; a long conversation ensued, and after numerous
objections on both sides, the lawyer’s eloquence vanquished my father’s
scruples, and he at length yielded.
“Well,” he said, “as he absolutely desires it, let him follow my trade.
And, as I cannot instruct him myself, my nephew, who is a pupil of mine,
will act towards my son as I did towards him.”
This news overwhelmed me with joy: it seemed as if I were entering on a
new life, and the fortnight I had yet to spend at Avaray seemed to me
terribly long. At length I set out for Blois, and the day after my
arrival found me seated before a vice, file in hand, and receiving my
first lessons in watchmaking from my relative.